Thank you both so much for your replies. After 6 days now I have started to run out of tears. Tomorrow will be hard though, the day I lost Harry a week ago. The house is so dead, so quiet I hate it.
Inky, I can’t get my head around what you said in your first paragraph and I certainly can’t derive any comfort from it. I know you wouldn’t have meant any upset by it though. The probation idea could be the way to go.
Kori, thank you so much for your kind words, you obviously have wonderful pets yourself. What you say makes so much sense but I also feel that if I didn’t have Harry after the breakup I may have thought and reacted differently about my ex. I had Harry for comfort and I spoilt him with all my love. I feel like I took him a little for granted at how much he helped me through. I never expected he could be gone in a instant. Damn,crying again.
Harry made it easy for me to block out my ex and ignore all his attempts to contact me. I ignored him because I believed he still had no clue or understanding about why things went wrong and that he though I was being unreasonable and he just wanted to get me to change my mind. Now that he has finally got the chance to talk to me he has spilled his guts and is deeply remorseful and sorry for his actions and see the changes that need to be made. You are right, if Harry had not died then I still would have ignored him and never heard what he had to say. I did miss him and wished it had worked out, but Harry made it possible for me to put those thoughts out of my mind.
We have spoken some more over the phone and it feels so easy to slip back into good conversations we used to have. I will take things slow. I am going to look at another house today and I am taking my other 2 dogs with me this time. Its so hard to not think ” if only I had taken them the first time”