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Reply To: Falling for a colleague

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#74497
Will
Participant

I’m not sure I agree that falling for someone means you have “issues”.

This infatuation will pass. But it will take longer to pass the more you feed it. So you know what to do. Get off the facebook, tell him that you need some distance to protect your marriage, you’re a great guy, bla bla, I’m just going to be polite now. Don’t seek him out, don’t spend more time around him than necessary, don’t share your day to day worries with him, don’t flirt, just be polite and leave it at that. And yes, that’s going to be hard. And you will falter. And then you’ll recommit yourself to keeping that distance because what you really want is the marriage you already have. You’ll keep on keeping on until the heat of your love for this guy simmers down.

And work with your feelings in a positive way. This is a painful situation to be in, but if you work through it, you’ll know yourself better and your marriage will be stronger. You’re not a bad person for having fallen for this guy, or having a weakness. We all have weaknesses. This is an opportunity to do the right thing, for everyone. You, the husband, the kids, even that guy, who doesn’t want to be a homebreaker I bet.

Good luck. Work hard.