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Reply To: How to overcome the need to seek validation from others?

HomeForumsEmotional MasteryHow to overcome the need to seek validation from others?Reply To: How to overcome the need to seek validation from others?

#74531
Rock Banana
Participant

these things are judgements you are making about yourself, not who you are. In reality no words can describe you, a word like “introverted” for instance represents a concept in your mind, it is just a thought, in reality you are not “introverted” or “extroverted”, “humorous” or “not humorous”, these words are overgeneralized concepts which you are imposing onto your sense of self in your mind. So in that sense there’s nothing you need to do – because you don’t have to change yourself; you just have to come to realize that these thoughts you are having about yourself are not who you are. The reason what people think about you is irrelevant is because they are just creating judgements about you too, they are never actually describing you. In fact they’re not even making judgements about you, they’re making judgements about their PERCEPTIONS of you, because they can’t experience you directly; they have to do so through the perceptions and workings of their own nervous systems.

“How can I be more confident with all these flaws?” – By disbelieving the thinking that is creating the flaws in your mind.

I’m not saying it’s as simple as just reading that and then that’s it, because it obviously isn’t. But I hope what I’ve written is at least a helpful pointer for you.