Hey guys. Thanks for your responses. I have been thinking about them a lot the past couple of weeks.

The night I originally posted I ended up meeting up with an ex and told him everything. He had reappeared in my life about a month before and I think I needed to tell someone where I knew no risk was involved. I think it was therapeutic in that I had someone else to tell and talk about things with. However, the past week or so I’ve realized that having him back in my life is not healthy. He was not a good boyfriend and while it’s nice having someone to sympathize with me, I think there were other things outweighing that.

So basically I still feel stuck. I don’t think I’ve felt this depressed and anxious since I got arrested. I’ve been contracting at a really good job for the past year and they’ve recently decided to hire me on. I’ve been absolutely sick about what the background report will show and if they even decide they want to hire me on if they know.

I keep telling myself to power through it but I feel absolutely alone and isolated. I’m starting to feel worthless as well. I know there are people out there who have been through the same things but I don’t know any of them. I think all I really need right now is for someone to ask me if I’m okay.