Thinking while writing is a great idea, even if it seems like stream of consciousness or even word association. 🙂 I do that often.

To be different or not to be…. That sounds pretty close to what I’m thinking, but I’m not even sure if it’s a cry for attention, as I DON’T like having all eyes on me (moreso if someone else deserves the attention FAR more than I do!)… I guess it’s just personal need for reminding myself that “I am different and separate from these people, and yet, they are connected to me.” I am a man who believes STRONGLY in the interconnectedness of all things (I believe in ambiogenesis, that we all were born from the same primordial cell billions of years ago), so I do not deny that, but I guess I feel ugly and sick when I realize I belong to the same set of BAD people or bad qualities (look at the beginning of the silent film “Modern Times”, where a herd of cattle slowly fades into a group of people). I want to rise above that somehow, but at the same time, I don’t want to be “noticed”, either.

Yes, I know it’s VERY contradictory, and when I explain the situation to others, that’s the first thing they say: “It sounds like you want two different things at the same time, Marc.” So…that’s why I feel kind of depressed, as there doesn’t seem to be a solution for any of this, and why I feel I should just live with it.

Thank you for your wisdom and thoughts. 🙂 All enrich me, even in small ways. *BIG HUG*

— Marc