Hi- new here and hope to get the hang of the forums and the ways to utilize knowledge here soon!

Having been forced to resign from a charitable organization last year, where I more than fulfilled my duties, but mismanagement (I’m guessing here) lead to all of the longterm people leaving or being let go, myself included, I turned to taking what I learned and pursuing what I’d gone there to learn: expanding my consultancy. I’ve worked with family and friends for decades and have not had a problem until now. Currently, I’m a consultant coordinating between a dear friend and an older relative, also trying to expand a charitable endeavor- a great project. This relative knows my financial problems since I resigned, but/and assured to all involved that he could fund his part to pay me to pursue Phase 1, which I executed successfully.

When it came to getting paid, the tone has turned to no communication, no payment, belligerence and no way to move forward. Finally, the friend has stepped in to pay and we have tried to figure out a game plan to move ahead with the next Phase, with or w/o the relative, who does seem in over his head, when reviewing his work. The problem is, it’s a very close relative, who knows about my financial struggles, and also that we have a very ill member of my immediate family that has been and needs to be a focus. I’ve not confronted him and can’t until it’s known that we will be able to move forward with him.

I feel he’s struggling, too, both with personal problems, maybe not being able to keep up with the times technologically, etc. That being said, this is not uncommon for him to make poor choices, be belligerent, not be able to follow through on promises— I’ve always known this, but tried to steer clear of those aspects and had always been very tight with him and supportive, nevertheless.

With times being very intense in our very closely-knit family, this is distracting, painful, it undermines my confidence and I’m angry. My partner is tired of this eating up our time (and income). I’ve jumped through every hoop my relative has asked me too to get paid and do my job well— not certain he remembers all of the hoops I’ve jumped through and communications I’ve tried to engage him with, only to be ignored or met with anger. This relative is at all functions, so I will be encountering him regularly.

I guess my question is: How can I be around someone who has had such a negative impact on me, who I need to pretend hasn’t? I need to do this for my family, who is aware of the situation, my friend who wants to continue working with me and was the primary partner (I brought in my relative), and I know I need to be able to turn away from the negativity, as well—

Thank you, anyone who has some clarity or inspiration!