Hey Jade Green,

Wow I am so sorry, no only did you have to go through a breakup with this guy he’s now once again making you go through all these mixed emotions ….. Again. I am going through my first break up, so I take my hat of to you for being so strong to move past him.

So I guess I like to say my opinion is just that, it is shaped by my experiences in life so it may not be right to you or your situation but I truly hope I can help you, even if a little 😀
My first thought is (and I know a biggggg ask, especially after sharing your life and love with someone for so long) but it is to try stop any contact with him for a week or month and take some quiet alone time when you can and journal about what this experience is bringing up in you (can be an indication of issues you thought you dealt with but need to delve deeper into……. I’ve been there) and also meditate on this issue on what is the right thing FOR YOU, not him.

I sense you are the kind of person who gives your all to the people you love and tend to put yourself second. I do this to and for me it was because I didn’t value myself as much as other people, kinda like other people’s feelings were more important.
I say this because I think this guy is (not knowingly) using you as his unpaid therapist because deep down he knows you are the kind of person who will always put other people first. I’m not saying he doesn’t have feelings for you, because he might to some degree but I don’t think those feelings of his will ever be enough to make a relationship work long term. His behaviour, even if he admits to being wrong was disrespectful to the beautiful,amazing, powerful person you are and he seems to have the behaviour trait of being selfish.
(Don’t get me wrong being “selfish” by putting what your fundamental needs first like love, respect, trust ect is a good thing for everyone) but I think he is (without realising it) acting more selfish than that and until he comes across that realisation himself, he will most likely keep reliving this trait.

I think him messaging you is more about the fact he is feeling sorry for himself that he is now alone with no one to talk to than his want to be with you.
(Sorry I know that sounds harsh, it honestly has nothing to do with your value as a person and more to do with how he values himself….if that makes any sense. Basically I’m saying you are so loveable and worth more than the mind games he’s playing with you)

I think the one question, no matter how guilty you feel or how much it hurts, is what is his messages doing to your mental health? You gave him your love and he walked away, you don’t owe him anything. Be kind and gentle with your words to him yes, but being a kind caring person doesn’t mean you have to suffer for it.
Sometimes the best thing we can do for the people we care about is let them do it on there own, so they can realise that they are strong and that they are empowered. Sometimes enabling people (out of love) keeps them from stepping into there own power.
Hehe actually I think there’s a post on tiny Buddha about this because it really helped me 😀

I hope this gets easier for you, remember to take care of yourself (if you can afford it massage, facials, warm baths, beautiful flowers ect) and maybe you can suggest if he’s going through a lot he should seek professional help and you wish him nothing but success and love in his life, but he choose to give you up and you have moved on and don’t think it will be good for either of you to continue a friendship. Then delete his number and look forward to the amazing potential of life and surround yourself with uplifting people and healthy forms of fun/joy.

P.s obviously I am not referring to people who are suicidal and asking for help directly.
P.s apologise for spelling just woke up 😀 😀 :D. And for some reason have an urge to say “live long and prosper”