Dear oaooo:
My understanding having read your post is that you have a lot of outside information- as in articles on self love- and there are a lot of things you practice for the purpose of loving yourself, but both did not produce the affect/ effects that you desire. It is my understanding that the reason for the lack of success is that the information you most need is not outside of yourself, as in articles, but inside yourself. It is maybe that you are looking for a short cut, or short cuts to get that self love that you need with minimum pain when the only way to get it, to find it is going through the pain you are trying to avoid. This I believe you can do within the context of effective psychotherapy: withing the context of a good professional relationship with a therapist who knows what he/ she is doing.

You know that you had a rough childhood… wouldn’t it be nice if we could solve this problem intellectually or by following specific practices? Insight + skills are required in the context of a good relationship- with a good therapist…?

anita