Dear Trent Wuster:
How kind of you to have the intention to share helpful thoughts in the future when you are in a better state of mind- thank you for the intent and for believing you will be in a better state of mind!

I am so sorry for your situation. You asked for perspective and feedback. Here is mine: you read like a reasonable man who takes responsibility for your part in the relationship trouble following her first affair. You read as believable for having made a sincere effort to be a better partner to her following her first affair.

You wrote that she threatened to hurt herself- this means to me that she is troubled and manipulative. And I read that there are kids and financial difficulties.

It seems to me that separation/ divorce is the thing to aim for. It is regrettable that it has come to this, but it has. Your spiritual practice helps but I don’t see how it can make reality what it is not. It is what it is. The only question that would be in my mind, if I was you, is HOW, not if (to separate/ divorce) but how. What step to take first. What step to take second. And take it a step at a time, no regressions, no looking back.

It would have been nice for your kids to have two good enough, loving parents living together etc. but it is no longer the case: their mother threatens to harm herself as she continues with cheating on you and on her kids and their father’s energy is sucked out of him every day. The situation for them is not good as is.

Financially, well- how bad can it get? However badly it gets, how is now so much better?

Will follow your post… Take care, anita