Dear Ct:
I don’t know if you shared that already: how long were you on the citalopram and how long has it been since you are no longer taking it? This is crucial to my understanding of your situation, for any understanding, that is, that I can have with the little information I have about you. I have experience with SSRI, mostly with Zoloft (up to 400 mg per day which is an unusual amount to be prescribed!) 1996-2013. I also took other drugs so it’s been hard to say what did what. But it is my experience that these drugs. They do change brain chemistry and once changed, when you stop taking it- when I stopped my brain chemistry was way, way worse for me than it was before I took the drugs. I failed at living without the drugs again and again because I felt so very, very depressed. The longest of the times I stopped was three months and what I felt then (2011-2012) was extreme anxiety. And even though I was exercising and doing yoga in the gym every single day for hours, the anxiety was too much and i gave up. Eventually I made it but had to deal with anxiety using new therapy skills. But to my question to you: how long has it been since you stopped and are you taking any other drug?

What is your history with SSRI or other psychiatric drugs- how long without? The challenge of getting off these drugs is ENORMOUS for many, many people. I agree wholeheartedly that most of psychiatry is completely irresponsible and harmful.

I hope you can feel some compassion for yourself and not add to your distress by thinking how you harm your family. And remember they have their choices, they can and should leave to take care of themselves and be with you only if they can take it without harming themselves- let them choose, somehow.

Waiting for your reply.
anita