I turned 18 last December, and I have quite a lot I’d like to get off of my chest. Recently I graduated, but I didn’t do as well in school as I believe I put the effort into. I have major anxiety problems, so I had attended a homeschooling highschool since mid-ninth grade, also due to a painful medical issue that effects my ability to walk around. I spent much of those years in solitude, however, about two years ago I rekindled a friendship with a boy who i had origionally met in the nurses office while i still attended public highschool, and he ended up moving in with me, and we became boyfriend and girlfriend. About six months in, he had to move away to his family in another state, and I have been doing a long distance relationship with him since then. But what is so difficult about this, is that for some reason, every time I begin to get close to someone, they always end up physically away from me. The past five relationships I’ve had were either long distance to begin with, or they end in long distance. This seems to be a pattern that follows me (not always by choice) in my life, and I want to find meaning for why this could be, or what lesson I am meant to learn from these experiences. Generally, I am much more tolerant of loneliness than an average person. I can go a month easily withought seeing or talking to other people, and not be too bothered. I’m an artist, so I spend hours of my time with just me and my artwork, and generally the social interaction I have on the internet is enough for me. But for whatever reason, it bothers me that this loneliness by force somewhat follows me in my life. Perhaps other reasons that this may bother me so much, is because of the other circumstances in my life at the moment. I still live at home with my parents, and my dad has an awful temper. He screams and yells and disrespects my mom. I always step in, but this usually leaves me feeling anxious and panicky, and I often worry about when or if the house will be peaceful today. But he is somewhat like a double edged sword, because it is bad when he is angry, and also when he is happy, because when he is in a good mood he blasts music extraordinarily loud, drinks, and sings karaoke for hours until I lose my mind. I don’t like sound very much because it causes me to feel anxious, so it isn’t something that just annoys me, it is almost torture. I also think my parents began drinking again because we have very little money, and hardly can afford groceries. We are also losing our house and I want desperately to help, but have no job, no licence, and no transport. My boyfriend also just ran into some trouble with the law recently that could potentially mean jailtime. I feel like a sitting duck in the midst of a hurricane, with no shelter in sight. I apologize for the length of this, but I just needed to say something. Any advice on how to cope with these feelings, and overcome the difficulties I face would be greatly appreciated. Thank you for reading.

• This topic was modified 9 years, 5 months ago by Sarah.
• This topic was modified 9 years, 5 months ago by Sarah.