One more thing, Unavailable (and I hope you take your time reading the input here, paying attention to everything, considering things)- your fear of abandonment: let me know if I am right about the following (I may be or not, so let me know):

You think that her mental state, the desperation you have seen in her eyes, heard in her voice, again and again, the hurt of past, the fear of the future, you think these things mean that she will not abandon you, that she needs you so much that you are safe- in a way- with her. But this is one of those life contradictions:

it is a woman as afraid and hurt and needy and emotional as she is, that is more likely to abandon you, have an affair, or affairs or detach from you while living with you than a woman less afraid, less needy, less hurt.

It is the other way around. If you fear abandonment, you are increasing your chances to be abandoned in such a union.

Unless she has been already deeply invested in her healing, and I am not talking about taking meds.

anita