Dear Billy:

I think it is natural to be afraid of marriage when you have negative experience with it, by proxy, that is by witnessing up close the failure of the marriage of your parents. Your fear is understandable. I think that your fear is more about your parents’ divorce than it is about the overlap. The overlap is long gone but your injury from your parents’ divorce is still present in you. I hope you talk to your fiance about your feelings, how you fear your marriage with her will end like your parents’ marriage. Share with her, let her comfort you.

When you share with her, assure her that you love her very much and that your fear originated and is about your parents’ divorce. Let her know that your fear is not about a weakness or problems in relationship with her. This way you take responsibility over your fear, not blaming her or the relationship with her. As your future wife and your current partner in life, you should be able to turn to her with your fears, anxiety and seek her comfort, and she should be able to do the same.

Turn to her. And please update me/ us here once you do. Let me know how it went.

anita