it is exciting! i could never tell whether or not he would be the one to give me attention or affection. he was never mean to me, but i always feel pretty on and off. like i’ve always ended up doing somethinh for him to stop talking to me. i’m always myself with him, i don’t put on too many fronts besides being a teeny bit girlier than i usually am. i hope i get to meet him one day, i’d really really like that. so far all i do is try to get him to notice me outside of directly talking to him. that’s about as far as i can go. actually talking to him would make me way too nervous and afraid.