Hi Jenny –

You know when it comes to deeply loving someone whether you are the person that is strongly attached or vise versa, it’s not something that you can just turn off. It’s more spiritual than anything, it is the love bond. That is why people get married, I mean let’s be honest here, people are strongly attached to something. If being emotionally attached to someone is wrong, then marriage would be highly frowned upon as people being un-healthly and co dependent on each other. That goes for any kind of relationship for that matter. We are meant to bond with people, love people, be affectionate and close to people that our hearts feel connected to. I love my future wife and people can judge me as they will but I am attached to her in a healthy way because my love is pure and deep for her. Quite frankly I wouldn’t/couldn’t be with someone who doesn’t want to have a close relationship or marriage with me. I cannot do the long distance relationship thing, I want a partnership and to be together sharing a beautiful life together. Although that doesn’t mean that, I have to constantly be around my future wife all the time, as I can give her – her personal space whenever she needs it. That is not a problem at all but long distance is something I can no longer handle. how I feel about our love is that, I am a penguin who gave my future wife a beautiful black heart shaped pebble that meant forever and I still have my black promise ring I still wear at times on my ring finger as a reminder of our love. A symbolism. Being together to help each other through our strengths and weaknesses is what I am 100% ready for but not living apart from each other again, cannot happen because we know it wouldn’t work. It destroyed us once and I can’t let that happen again, as we both suffered greatly in the end for it. We are 99% better now, we are just about there.

We can psycho analyze marriages and relationships by dissecting them and come to the conclusion that 2 people wanting to share a life together, most definitely have co-dependancy and attachment issues. You see where I’m coming from? So this entire co-dependacy and attachment thing gets really complex and messy. As the human species we are meant to have a mate/partner. It is human nature and so it is normal, it’s in our DNA. Now, if you don’t want that in your life that’s fine but you must tell this other person that having an attachment isn’t what you really want. Personally I’d rather be hurt sooner than later, that is the selfless thing a person can do for another is to let them move on and be with someone who is looking for the same thing and wanting to be attached. What I can say is that I’m not attached to my body as I almost died last Wednesday in the hands of mother nature while in the ocean, hanging onto to dear life to lava rocks. I wasn’t afraid, I wasn’t attached to my body per say, I felt no pain, I had accepted that I was most likely going to die but my human instincts played a role of holding on to the lava rocks. Having a recent near death experience your entire body goes numb from the adrenaline. It’s hard to explain unless you experience it for yourself, something I don’t wish upon anyone because an hour after the adrenaline wears off when you are out of the water and safe. You go into shock for awhile about what just happened and you turn in for the night, earlier than usual because something like that drains your entire energy.

So the point to my story is that coming out of this alive, I realized that I had only survived to learn that I have a very important mission on this earth. The moment that I thought I was going to die in the ocean, I thought about how much I loved my future wife and my family. I can’t even imagine their devastation had my life ended there in the ocean where I was. After that, it just goes to show how truly precious your life is. How 1 simple and innocent decision could take your life away, if mother nature intended to that day but she didn’t – So I saw her hidden message to me, saying ” Your mission in life isn’t over yet, so I’m not ending your life just yet. Attachment or no attachment, just cherish every beautiful moment of love and life that you have while you’re still here. Be happy and if letting go is what you feel you need to do in order to feel 100% happy again, then just let go. Life is too precious to be afraid of what others may think of your decision(s). Do you what yo feel is right and healthy for you.

I wish you nothing but complete happiness on your journey. Be well and take care.