Anita

My current dream or fantasy is to move out of my parents house and travel, as I have told you before. This is something I have really thought about for the past few years – something I wish I would have been more enthusiastic about years ago. In order to do that, I’m going to need to save up some money or try to score another teaching job in another country – seems doable, the only thing that is holding me back is the money situation. Why do I want to travel? Why did I even start becoming obsessed with the law of attraction at 19 in the first place? Escapism, probably. I just want to move away and escape from my life at home. There is nothing keeping me here – not close with my family, no personal relationships or commitments to hold me back, not many friends to speak of. But I am also aware of how tough it is to live in another country on your own when you barely speak the language because I’ve done that before.

Another dream is to be self-sufficient – I’m well aware that the idea of financial security is a complete myth but I just want to be able to earn my own money – enough to get by and then some.

Another dream is to carry on making my illustrations and handmade books – I’m well aware that being an artist is difficult in this day and age and it is very difficult to find work in this industry. I’m well aware that there might be times in my life where my art things will have to be put on the back-burner. Maybe I would love to write as well but again, the industry is pretty darn saturated with illustrators and writers.

I’m not going to lie, sometimes I do have fantasies about being a rock star but this will never happen (I can’t even play a musical instrument for starters, except for the triangle).

If any of those things are going to happen, I need to work at them and put effort into these things – something I’ve been telling myself over the past few months – whether or not I succeed at these things isn’t important, what is important is I just try. They are not going to appear out of the ether all by themselves.

As for the final dream, I want to reach a point where I feel like I can be at peace with myself and everybody else I know. Year of Joe is still happening but there are still the odd ugly moments.

Do you think these dreams are doable, Anita? Or am I just indulging in some silly wanderlust fantasy I have when I stare at the ceiling wishing to be anywhere else but here? Am I chasing another rainbow, putting all of my hopes into these things?

Joe