March 11, 2016 at 9:51 am #98690
On one hand, there have been times in my life when things have conveniently gone my way – I managed to get accepted onto an internship a few years ago after fervently hoping that I would and leaving on a specific date so that I would still be around to pay my house mate for the utility bill as soon as the money reached my account..I’m not saying that things go my way all the time – sometimes they do and then it’s followed by a long period of nothing really happening.
I’ve read ‘The Secret’ by Rhonda Byrne more times than I care to remember (I admit, I do like the film) – there were lots of things I used to believe in when I was in my late teens but I guess I’m more sceptical about things now. I guess you could say I used to live by this whole law of attraction lark but I don’t any more. Looking back, I guess ‘The Secret’ wasn’t really that well written at all – apparently Byrne did a lot of extensive research on this secret – okay, there were many guest speakers and they are inspiring and all but how come she never used to list or reference her other sources, specifically what she had found about the so-called science behind it?
Okay, I’m being really cynical about this. Maybe I’ve always been cynical but positive thinking just never really worked for me. It’s like you have a whole load of negative thinking and you just try to sprinkle and sugar-coat it with positive thinking but you still have the layer of negative thinking underneath.
Positive thinking – what of it? The objective message I’m getting from ‘The Secret’ was “When things aren’t ideal, think nothing but happy thoughts and it will all get fixed…” Nope, it didn’t work for me. More than anything else, it made me feel worse – desperately clinging onto this silver thread of false hope when things in my life weren’t so good…
Does this secret just teach us to live in denial of all the crap things in life? Because the book basically tells you that if you even give room for one tiny ponder of something crap, you will attract more crappy things in life.
I don’t think this is any way to live. Life is full of crap. Life is full of good things as well but that doesn’t take away the fact that crap things are a fact of life. Just desperately clinging onto positive thinking and living in denial of the crap things caused me to be anxious and fearful of them.
Does ‘The Secret’ give off the vibe that it is effortlessly easy to attract the things you want? No effort required, you can just think about being loaded with obscene amounts of cash, fame and owning a Lamborghini and wham bam crash those things will just instantaneously manifest into your life? Will those things truly make us happy or will we just end up wishing for more things we don’t need (or possibly deserve?) I think that this book places more emphasis on ‘wanting’ than ‘needing’. We don’t need to own a Lamborghini, we just want to own one. Is this book just encouraging more selfishness in the world (the bad kind of selfishness?)
I don’t mean to come across as a complete cynic but I really don’t think ‘The Secret’ is a great book at all. Looking back, I think it was poorly written and not worth the paper it was printed on (I donated this book to a charity shop last summer). If the law of attraction is a real concept, there are probably much better books written on the subject.
But on the other side of the fence, there were times when I thought the law of attraction worked for me (like when I got onto that internship, when I need to buy something and I end up finding it for a lot cheaper than I had intended to pay for it)
What are your thoughts on this? Does the law of attraction work for you? I’d really love to read other peoples thoughts on this. Sorry if I sound absolutely bitter about this, just something I’ve wanted to get off my chest for a while now (drank too much coffee today and I’m hangry haha)March 11, 2016 at 11:52 am #98702
The Law of Attraction as I believe you accurately described is full of crap. It is Fantasy/ Wishful/ Convenient Thinking, not realistic thinking. In life there is a lot of crap, this is a fact of life and one has to be on heavy narcotics (before getting addicted and losing the Affect) to believe that there is no crap. I mean, literally and figuratively, lots of crap.
And like the sugar pill affect, one thinks positively, it so happens something positive does happen and the conclusion: thinking positive helps while in reality there is no connection, as what we think is happening only between our ears.
What we do matters, so if we think something positive and do something positive, effective, then we increased our chances for something positive to happen, in other words: we can make something positive happen by taking a wise initiative, an action and following through with persistence and re-evaluations along the way, open to adjustments and changes needed to be made.
But just thinking positive… well it is like thinking: I will never crap again.. let me know if it works (I am not referring to you, Joe, specifically… but you too are welcome to try it!
Thanks for a great thread, Joe.
anitaMarch 11, 2016 at 12:13 pm #98706
Thanks for your input Anita!
Sometimes I do wonder how some people do it – my sisters fiancé, for instance. He is forever placing bets on football matches and winning money from it, and even his mother has managed to score a few winning streaks on the Irish lottery (she just wins hundreds of pounds each time) Whenever my friend drags me along to bingo, there is always somebody who wins at least five times. Makes you think!
I remember one time I had finished reading “The Magic” (the sequel to The Secret, going over more of the same crap in the first book) and that same day I was sent to the horse racing stadium for an assignment – back at university, the tutors sent us out places to make observational drawings of race horses but most of us were too busy placing bets on the horses instead. Long story short, I won a bet I had placed on a horse named “Some Mothers Do Have ‘Em” – back then, I guess I thought to myself “Holy crap this stuff really works!”
Hasn’t worked on at least 80% of the things I have wished for since, I might add…March 11, 2016 at 12:15 pm #98707
i couldn’t even finish reading because of how on point you were joe! the whole thing about the sugarcoat for all the negative thinking – i was thinking the SAME EXACT THING this morning. anita thank you for directing me to this thread. i’m gonna finish reading and then tell you both how i feel about it! 🙂March 11, 2016 at 12:33 pm #98709
Randomly, everything works from time to time. For example, carrying a small rock or crystal that some people believe has power, a positive energy to make positive things happen, well if you carry this rock everywhere you go, you are bound to encounter something positive happening, something happening your way. Is it because of the rock?
What if I decide that painting my nose green is a sign of good luck (the luck of the Irish like)- and over ten years ten positive things happen in my life while my nose is green. What then?
Regarding gambling, as long as gambling institutions exist at all, it by definition means that most people lose all the time or most of the time and the chances, statistical chances that one person wins again and again do exist, but they are very small.
* Dear Wisdom: I am so excited you are reading this thread, as if it was written for you… but no, it was not- it just so happened that Joe wrote it. He was not destined to write it… This kind of thinking, Wisdom, is very common, this magical thinking. I employed magical thinking myself.. a lot! Glad to get rid of most of it, aiming at all of it!
anitaMarch 11, 2016 at 12:35 pm #98710
okay anita and joe, i just finished reading everything and i’ll say this: maybe it is all a ploy to make lots of people greedy and selfish or just batcrap crazy, but the more i think about it the only question that comes to mind is, “does this only work for certain people?” like how some people are just born gifted, is this part of a gift? i don’t know how much sense that will make to both of you, but maybe selectively, by god, we’re able to do certain things or just…more special? i can’t figure what i’m trying to say.
i really do think that this whole thing is a pipe dream scheme though and it sucks. it would be lovely as hell if we could just think of all the good things we want and have them, but as far as my 19 years go, i don’t even know. i don’t know if it’s real or just a fantasy thing.
and only lately am i trying things on my own so i won’t know the answer until i get answers myself. but as far as i’m concerned, it’s a scheme and only leaves everybody stuck in their dreams day and night. in their dreams and their nightmares at the same time.March 11, 2016 at 12:53 pm #98714BarryParticipant
Hey Joe – thank you for your honesty. I’ve also read and watched The Secret countless times but not within the past couple of years. I guess in my eyes I’ve moved on to better sources of the information I seek. The Secret was however a great stepping stone for me to begin learning about the Law of Attraction. My quick story is I’ve come from a very dark past. Alcoholic/drug addict for 15 years while being married and trying to raise 3 kids. When my oldest was 6 I decided I needed to change. I went to AA and I got clean and sober. I was still bitter at life but I remained sober. Then about 3 years ago my wife of 20 years had an affair and my world came crashing down. We tried to work through it but ended up separating. This was the most painful time of my life. Most that knew me thought I might drink again but I didn’t. Besides crying a lot I also meditated a lot and this is when I found The Secret. I watched it every morning for a year. From it I found other sources of information to help my life. A year after being separated, my wife and I got back together and now we are happier than ever. I grew so much during that time. I am a completely different person. So I will always be grateful for The Secret and what it did for me.
With all that said, I too, like you can see a lot of flaws with the book and movie. I’ve learned since then that the Law of Attraction does exist but it doesn’t work by simply wishing upon something. I did the whole cork board thing, cutting out pictures of money, houses, and cars and looking at them every day but for the most part none of them came true. What I have come to realize is that you have to really want something for it to come into your life. The law only works when we give 100% of our focus to something and on top of that, we don’t have any underlying false beliefs that are sabotaging the whole thing.
We attract the things we truly desire by having true feelings for them. When you can think about what it is you really, really want and you get that tingly sensation of excitement inside, then and only then will you begin to attract the people, things, and circumstances necessary to make it happen. You see our thoughts and beliefs create feelings and our feelings emit a unique frequency that attracts like frequencies. It sounds crazy but it’s true. The Secret fails in this aspect. It makes it seems like all you have to do is haphazardly wish upon things and they come true. But for the law to actually work you have to radiate feelings of love, excitement, and passion about what you want.
The hard part is you may really want something but you might have deep false beliefs that are fighting against you. For example, say you desire to become rich, so you visualize being rich and focus on it, and have happy feelings about it. But deep down you have the belief that being rich is bad or that money is evil. Maybe this was something you picked up from your parents. I actually used to struggle with this myself. As a child I remember my parents always fighting about money and finances. They ended up getting a divorce because of it. This belief will hinder your efforts to attract money. You have to literally change those beliefs about money. This takes some serious inner strength. Trying to convince yourself and change your brain’s programming is very difficult. But it can be done. You have to convince your subconscious mind that money is not evil and that being rich is not bad but actually a good thing. It’s like rewiring your brain. I’ve had success meditating, reading affirmations, and visualizing every single morning for more than a year now. That is the type of dedication it takes.
So yeah, The Secret misses the mark. But it is a great entry level stepping stone for someone just learning about the law of attraction. It was for me anyway. Since then I’ve studied cosmology, ALL the universal laws, energy chakras, and so on. Now I’m surfing forums like this and have actually written several books on universal laws, affirmations, and started my own blog writing about it. For me though, it all started with being cut to the core in pain and finding The Secret.
In response to a couple of your comments if you don’t mind – This is why it’s important to practice positive thinking as opposed to negative. Because whether you are aware of it or not, you’ll attract like frequencies into your life. Our outer world is only a reflection of our inner world. For example, when you say life is “full of crap,” well you are right! If that is your belief then you’ll always find it to be true. That may be hard for you to hear but until you can change that belief then you’ll always experience it. The universe has no choice but to align your outer world with your belief that life is full of crap. I know what you mean Joe because I used to think the same thing. But I’ve learned that nothing happens in life by chance. If there is crap in my life it’s because I’ve attracted it. Now I choose to belief life is full of challenges (not crap). I actual celebrate challenges because they give me the opportunity to overcome and master new skills which makes me a more complete being. There is no crap in my life anymore. Once I started to realize that I create my own circumstances and that the world only reflects my thoughts and feelings back to me and that like frequencies attract like frequencies my life has turned around completely for the better.
Thanks for letting me share!March 11, 2016 at 12:54 pm #98715
I guess I still often wonder the same thing – does it only work for certain people? What do they do differently? Why are they so lucky? I still think most of what is in ‘The Secret’ is a load of old cobblers and I don’t live by it anymore, but I guess sometimes I still wonder…
If attracting what we truly wanted was easy, we would all be living the life of riley. Who doesn’t think about what life would be like if they were lotto winners? We all think about it but very few of us get to live it.
I’m just currently reading through some of the testimonies and stories on the secret website.March 11, 2016 at 1:16 pm #98719
the whole universe thing is such a mystery but i think it’s best to just not think about it at all joe. did you ever wonder if the testimonies were fabricated? just to support this thing? it seems pretty farfetched for the most part. but when you see things happen for other people that kind of changes everything. but then again maybe they’re just lucky to get whatever it is that they wanted. or they probably deserve it more.March 11, 2016 at 1:23 pm #98722
Hi Barry! Thankyou for your insight, I was really interested in your post. I was glad to read about you turning your life around 😀
With regards to the ‘full of crap’ comment – I try and see the crap as lessons to be learned and obstacles to be overcome (I have said countless times before, I’m a sucker for punishment and I have this pathological need to learn the hard way!) I used to be scared and deeply fearful of ‘the crap’ because that would mean attracting more crap and having to let go of the silver thread I was hanging from (metaphorically speaking). I wanted to be safe, I wanted to be full of hope, I didn’t want to give in to the crap. Having to give up this hope I had (even if it was false hope) would mean I would end up with nothing (this was from a really dark, rocky patch in my life from a few years ago, my anxiety problems were at their worst and I thought I was going off the rails). This false hope, this false ‘positive thinking’ was a mental crutch for me, a construct I was trying to maintain in my mind and I didn’t think I would be able to cope without it.
‘The Crap’. Haha, almost sounds like some awful B-list horror movie or some kind of disembodied malevolent entity (like The Blob or something!)
I guess relinquishing the false hope and letting the crap, the fear and doubt in, just letting it be and confronting what it is I was scared of was a liberating experience. I guess I don’t want to become too jaded but sometimes letting go of false hope and broken dreams after feeling scared for so long feels almost like a relief. It sounds weird but it’s the only way I can describe it. Yup, life is full of crap – I acknowledge the existence of crap but I’m not so quick to distance myself from it. If I can manage to turn the crap into something positive – i.e making some kind of snarky joke about it, I’m okay with that.
I used to ponder on worst-case scenarios all the time and be scared that they would come true – I guess they really did happen about 30-40% of the time.
Maybe my problem was the false ‘positive thinking’ – I was trying desperately to think positive things but inside I felt terrible, I felt as though everything was falling apart and I felt as though changes weren’t happening soon enough. Maybe I was just expecting a quick get-out-of-jail card, instant gratification…
But I do believe that there are great things in life, and ‘the crap’ makes the good things even more powerful and intense.
With regards to what you said about feeling instead of thinking – I think I can kind of agree with that – the rare 10% when things were going my way, I felt good about them and I just felt good in general beforehand.
Thanks for posing Barry, I do hope you will stick around for more of this discussion 😀
I guess the thought that the stories might have just been made up on that website did cross my mind. Still makes me wonder hahaMarch 11, 2016 at 2:39 pm #98728
You mentioned false hopes in your last post. Like I wrote elsewhere today, reality is not as pleasant as some of those fantasy dreams of magical/convenient/feel-good thinking, but it is not even close to how badly it feels when we have to pay the price for those dreams, the pain of reality rudely waking us up from those dreams. Reality will not accommodate our fantasies. It won’t no matter how much we wish it would.
antiaMarch 11, 2016 at 3:38 pm #98737
My current dream or fantasy is to move out of my parents house and travel, as I have told you before. This is something I have really thought about for the past few years – something I wish I would have been more enthusiastic about years ago. In order to do that, I’m going to need to save up some money or try to score another teaching job in another country – seems doable, the only thing that is holding me back is the money situation. Why do I want to travel? Why did I even start becoming obsessed with the law of attraction at 19 in the first place? Escapism, probably. I just want to move away and escape from my life at home. There is nothing keeping me here – not close with my family, no personal relationships or commitments to hold me back, not many friends to speak of. But I am also aware of how tough it is to live in another country on your own when you barely speak the language because I’ve done that before.
Another dream is to be self-sufficient – I’m well aware that the idea of financial security is a complete myth but I just want to be able to earn my own money – enough to get by and then some.
Another dream is to carry on making my illustrations and handmade books – I’m well aware that being an artist is difficult in this day and age and it is very difficult to find work in this industry. I’m well aware that there might be times in my life where my art things will have to be put on the back-burner. Maybe I would love to write as well but again, the industry is pretty darn saturated with illustrators and writers.
I’m not going to lie, sometimes I do have fantasies about being a rock star but this will never happen (I can’t even play a musical instrument for starters, except for the triangle).
If any of those things are going to happen, I need to work at them and put effort into these things – something I’ve been telling myself over the past few months – whether or not I succeed at these things isn’t important, what is important is I just try. They are not going to appear out of the ether all by themselves.
As for the final dream, I want to reach a point where I feel like I can be at peace with myself and everybody else I know. Year of Joe is still happening but there are still the odd ugly moments.
Do you think these dreams are doable, Anita? Or am I just indulging in some silly wanderlust fantasy I have when I stare at the ceiling wishing to be anywhere else but here? Am I chasing another rainbow, putting all of my hopes into these things?
JoeMarch 11, 2016 at 4:56 pm #98758BarryParticipant
I’m not trying to step on toes as I’m sure Anita will have a terrific answer. I’ve really enjoyed this topic. Since I’m new here I’m trying to tip toe around and not act like a know it all because I’m certainly still working on it all myself. But I found my head shaking in disbelief as I read through some of the last few posts.
Joe – all that matters is that YOU believe your dreams are doable. If you can imagine it, then it is possible. Nothing is fantasy if you really desire to achieve it. You say you need to work on your dreams and put effort into them. I agree but personally I would start with your inner limiting beliefs. Those are what are holding you back, not money or anything else, it’s your limiting beliefs. Re-read your post. You say, “I desire to do this BUT I’m aware it’s difficult, I want to do that BUT I’m aware it will never happen, I want to do that BUT I’m aware it’s a complete myth.” I was like dude seriously do you hear yourself. Why do you have these false beliefs? Why can’t you be a successful artist? Why can’t you be self sufficient? Ask yourself these questions brother. You can do anything you want to do. But you first have to believe it is possible.
We don’t have to worry about “how” things are going to happen or come together we just have to know that they will. This is how the law of attraction works. Just focus on what you truly desire and believe without a doubt that it will happen. Focus on it daily, think about it, visualize it like it’s already happened and feel how that makes you feel. Let those feelings radiate out and feel good about it and almost magically the right door will open, an opportunity will present itself, the money will show up, you’ll get that teaching job, etc.
Just my two pennies.March 11, 2016 at 7:49 pm #98773
You wrote there are still odd ugly moments in The Year of Joe. I think it is likely there will always be odd ugly moments in your life (and in my life).
You asked if these dreams are doable. My answer: they are doable if you do them. I trust the law of physics stating that objects at rest tend to stay at rest and objects in motion tend to stay in motion. If you’ve been at rest for a while, lying down, staring at the ceiling, you naturally and scientifically tend to stay at rest. Nothing personal. It’s science.
Trusting hard core science, if you want to make your dreams come true, I would suggest you become your own personal manager and manage your time and activities. If you’ve been at Rest for a while, ease yourself into Motion: every evening or morning, as it fits you, plan the activities of the day, managing your time. Start small, nothing overwhelming. But keep at it. Let your motion build speed over time, patiently but persistently.
Over time, as you get in the Motion mode, it will be natural for you to speed up as needed. It is science.
You dream of traveling, being financially self sufficient and continuing your art: drawing, painting, writing. That is pretty clear. And doable. I am quite excited really thinking about you doing all those things.
Please post again, tell me how you are doing with setting yourself in motion…?
anitaMarch 11, 2016 at 8:57 pm #98778ZenAlexParticipant
I’m new here but wanted to contribute my two cents because I’ve a lot of experience with The Law of Attraction. I completely agree with what Barry said. The only thing that matter is that YOU believe in your dreams.
I think there is a misconception out there that “thinking positive” means “ignoring reality” or “lying to yourself.” In my experience, the people who do this, have little or nothing to show for their positive thoughts. Thinking positive simply means looking at your situation but not making it worse than what it is.
This is what so many miss when trying to attract something into their life. They never acknowledge those deep beliefs about their current reality and thus they can never move pass it. You have to become aware of you truly feel and then question the logic around it. Because often we confuse being realistic with being pessimistic.
And on a personal note, I have been in the exact same situation you are (trying to be independent and move out my parents house) and used the law of attraction to do it. No it wasn’t just a coincidence. And no it wasn’t just me trying to draw a false correlation. Down to the exact detail, everything I visualized happened. If you’re looking for advice on that, I can definitely share more of my story.