Dear nan:

Thirty five years is a long time, so of course, there is a lot of history in so many years. Disco party life and 30 cruises is certainly a diversion from… what there is now, that disco is over and you’ve been treading water for so long. At least it was fun at the time, the diversions, the Saturday Night Fevers… Hey, lots of people live most of their lives distracting themselves. And so your distraction based life is over.

The feelings you have for R-2 are still a mystery to me: being afraid of him on one hand (My only understanding of it is that you must have been scared of your then mother’s rage and you carry that fear with you), and seeing him and treating him like a spoiled pouting child on the other hand. It is a mystery to me why you still try to please him, to make him happy (Maybe to prevent his rage, what you always fear under the surface…)?

All in all, I think fear dominates you and is the reason why you are still with R-2. Remember you left R-1 a note when you left him? Afraid of the confrontation…? If you confronted R-1 about leaving him, instead of the note, maybe there wouldn’t be all that … terrible misunderstanding, his fears of being arrested if he contacted you… and you wouldn’t have thought he didn’t care and so forth.

And you’ve been thinking about leaving a note with R-2 as well, instead of confronting him about leaving him.

So, fear. Which is the theme of Bridges of Madison County. It was fear that kept Francesca in her marriage. It was fear that kept her in that truck when her hand was squeezing that handle.

I would like you, Nan, to face your own fear, to stand tall and stand, stand for yourself, for you. Risk the rage you are so scared of. If it was your mother’s rage that is still scaring you: R-2’s rage is not going to be like your mother’s. You are not that child anymore.

Till your next post… take care!

anita