Posts by Alexandra Latos

Alexandra (Lex) Latos is a freelance writer and author of both young adult and adult fiction. As a sensitive person with a genuine interest in people, her novels tend to be character-driven, focusing on coming of age and growth. Her debut young adult novel Instalove was published by Bloomsbury. Learn more about her at alexandralatos.com or @alexandralatos.

Alexandra Latos's Website

How to Ask for What You Want and Need (No, It’s Not Selfish)

“It’s not selfish to put yourself first—it’s self-full.” ~Iyanla Vanzant

I’ve always thought of myself as individualistic. When I was a teenager, I often felt the desire to go against the grain, dressing alternatively and shunning bands my peers liked because I felt they were too popular. So it came as a huge surprise to me when my therapist called me a people pleaser the other day.

I recently started cognitive behavioral therapy for insomnia, and during the first session my therapist identified that I put other people’s needs and wants ahead of my own.

He’d asked me to give …