“The place to improve the world is first in one’s own heart and head and hands.” ~Robert M. Pirsig
Many of us are exploring what it means to be responsible for ourselves, to be creating our own reality. These are concepts that in some situations are easy to grab ahold of; at other times, the meanings are far more elusive.
I’ve seen, in myself and in others, the tendency to beat ourselves up while we are learning what self-empowerment really means. I think this is a natural result of our cultural programming, and it’s understandable that we’d …
“Letting go gives us freedom and freedom is the only condition for happiness.” ~Thich Nhat Hanh
Ah, closure. That feeling of vindication, or a sense of completion—it can be very enticing!
There are times when seeking resolution is really important. If we are having an argument with our partner, settling it can help strengthen our relationship. If we are having a disagreement over a contract, determining the outcome may be required to continue with the project at hand.
In these types of situations, seeking resolution is very relevant.
That said, there are loads of situations that occur in life …
“Have respect for yourself, and patience and compassion. With these, you can handle anything.” ~Jack Kornfield
Several years ago, within a matter of months, I experienced the death of a parent, the breakdown of a committed relationship, and the death of a treasured animal companion.
I’d been doing okay with “normal” life tension, but when all that crap hit the fan… Wow.
I handled it okay. Just okay. I’m not sure it was a time to expect myself to be amazing.
Life is much better now.
One of the biggest lessons I learned going through those experiences was that I …
“A diamond is just a piece of charcoal that handled stress exceptionally well.” ~Unknown
I’m great with short-term goals. In fact, I prefer them. Work my butt off for a few months to reach a goal? I’m down with that. I’ll give up a social life, down time, spending money, eating yummy food (read: sugar), drinking alcohol—whatever it takes, for the short-term. Long-term goals… ugh, not so much.
Despite this preference for pretty immediate gratification, I have followed through with many long-term goals in my life (school and various trainings, long-distance relationships, starting and re-starting businesses, to name a few).…
“A man’s errors are his portals of discovery.” ~James Joyce
I’ve had a bit of experience with disappointment. I got very motivated to change my relationship with it when I was in my twenties and starting my acupuncture practice.
I knew it would take time to build my client base; what I didn’t realize, or more likely was in denial about, was that a very effective way of doing that was by arranging public speaking gigs. I absolutely hated public speaking. Big disappointment.
I also didn’t consider how much work running a business really was. I had to talk to …
“The obstacles of your past can become the gateways that lead to new beginnings.” ~Ralph Blum
We are all familiar with the concept of “releasing the past.”
As one who has experienced lots of events in my life that I’ve been anxious, at times, to let go of, I’m very familiar with this concept.
We want to be present to fully experience everything in our lives, without being tethered to what has already occurred; we want to be ready, willing, and in the moment so we can take what comes at its face value. (Just in case you’re wondering, for …
“He who trims himself to suit everyone will soon whittle himself away.” ~Raymond Hull
I tell people my 30s were for being married. This is a slight exaggeration, since I’m 39 now and single. However, I married at 30, divorced at 34, married again at 36, and divorced again at almost 39.
Both of the men were great guys. I meant well, each time. I went into each relationship with the intention I’d want to continue it.
To many people this information is no big deal. I certainly didn’t think it was any big deal. However, I’ve been …
“I know but one freedom and that is the freedom of the mind.” ~Antoine de Saint-Exupery
Stress, strain, tension, worry, overwhelm, nerves, feeling wound up, freaking out. Whatever we call it, the effects are universal.
Our adrenals rev up, uneasy thoughts cycle on the brain’s hamster wheel, butterflies flitter in the stomach, our moods swing. There are many different ways that stress manifests, and none of them are particularly enjoyable.
Stress is basically an emotion. It’s the way we feel when things aren’t going our way. “Things” can be as insignificant as feeling annoyed because we woke up two minutes …
“Judge nothing, you will be happy. Forgive everything, you will be happier. Love everything, you will be happiest.” ~Sri Chinmoy
Oh yeah, this has been a big one for me. Huge.
I’ve had a long, tedious journey toward recognizing that many of my thoughts were based in judgments of others. I didn’t realize it for years.
I used to think I had strong opinions, was decisive, and able to “evaluate” others. I “got” people. I understood where they were coming from, their motivations, and why they said what they said and did what they did.
I was a highly skilled …
“If you make friends with yourself you will never be alone.” ~Maxwell Maltz
I’ve always been a rebel—independent, and a bit of a loner. I’ve prided myself on self-sufficiency. I like to do things my own way, and I don’t care for unrequested input (to put it mildly!).
I’ve been self-employed since I was 22 in a profession it can be tough to make a living in. In large part, I’ve been successful because of my ability to care for and emotionally support myself.
For me, this self-love has served my goal of doing what I want to do with …