How To Keep Yourself Motivated When You’re Not Feeling It


“A diamond is just a piece of charcoal that handled stress exceptionally well.” ~Unknown

I'm great with short-term goals. In fact, I prefer them. Work my butt off for a few months to reach a goal? I'm down with that. I'll give up a social life, down time, spending money, eating yummy food (read: sugar), drinking alcohol—whatever it takes, for the short-term. Long-term goals—ugh, not so much.

Despite this preference for pretty immediate gratification, I have followed through with many long-term goals in my life (school and various trainings, long-distance relationships, starting and re-starting businesses, to name a few).

There have also been quite a few of these goals that I've dropped that I wished I hadn't.

I, like many of us, have noticed a pattern of finding it much more difficult to stay engaged once the initial excitement of starting something new has worn off.

Through this learning process of motivating myself to follow through with longer-view goals, I've come up with a few steps that have really helped me to stay focused and on track. Here are three steps that can help.

Remind yourself that you’re in charge.

There are loads of reasons we get off track with goals. Self-doubt, fear we won’t succeed, and concern that we are not setting realistic goals are just a few of them.

This is really important to remember: You can change this goal if you want. You can keep going, you can revise it, or you can dump it altogether.

When we are experiencing doubts, it’s easy to feel like we have no power; it’s easy to feel like we don’t have a choice. However, most often, we do.

I find it helps to simply remind myself that I'm in charge. Many times, when the going gets tough, we begin to feel like the choices we made (sometimes long ago) are not our own. Sometimes a reminder to ourselves that we are the ones who originally set this goal is a good way to rev the engine.

When I first started acupuncture school, I was pretty young, but it had been several years since I'd been in school. I'd been living on my own, partying it up, and doing whatever I liked.

I saw pretty quickly that I had to get serious, stop staying out late so often, and learn to organize my time and resources far better then I had been. In short, I had to get productive.

Well, the meltdown that ensued was not very attractive. I didn’t want to give up my young, single, and independent lifestyle! I didn’t want to trade late nights with my friends for late nights with textbooks and manuals!

That went on for about a week, until a wise friend (who was tired of my whining), said, basically, “You wanted this. Get with it, or quit school.”

It was the kick in the butt I needed to stop complaining and remember that I did want it. I was very driven to be an acupuncturist, because it’s an amazing modality. And I strongly desired (and continue to desire) to live a life of service.

I won't say it was completely smooth sailing from there on out, but my productivity and focus were certainly much improved.

Look back at all you’ve already achieved.

If you have been taking steps towards your goal for a while, then it can be great to take some time to consider all that you have already accomplished. All long haul goals take multiple, incremental steps to attain. Pat yourself on the back, and remind yourself of these achievements.

The thing is, once an incremental step is attained, it can quickly feel like not quite so big of a deal. It becomes commonplace, and it's not as exciting as it was when we first accomplished it. That's normal, and understandable, and it's great to look back occasionally and remind ourselves what a big deal reaching that step really was at the time.

When I’m frustrated about what feels like a lack of movement toward a goal, I sit down and make a list of the steps I have already enacted to reach it, and what the results of those steps have been. I am almost always surprised at how much I’ve produced. This clarity helps in releasing those feelings of frustration.

Explore the reasons you're going for this goal, and remind yourself often.

While I was in school, there were many times when I simply wanted to quit.

I had student loans (that were growing!). As I mentioned, there was little time for a social and personal life. I was learning a technique that required a very different perspective (energy medicine vs. the physical body) then I had previously.

Besides that, I was starting to sweat the idea of running my own business. Would I fail? Could I make it work? Maybe I was nuts to think I could succeed at this at all!

When I’d start to get too caught up in all that noise, I would literally sit down and remind myself of the reasons I’d chosen the path I had.

I loved acupuncture; despite fear about being self-employed, I craved that independence; I resonated strongly with the concepts of energy I was learning, even if the vocabulary was new.

Taking the time to have these talks with myself helped to re-invigorate me, to renew my focus, and encouraged me to continue.

To really follow through with a longer-term goal, we have to have solid reasons that make sense to us.

That said, goals aren’t set in stone. Like everything in life, it’s good to approach them with flexibility and open-mindedness.

If you can't successfully remind yourself of your initial reasons for going for the goal, and get re-ignited about those reasons, then it might be time to re-assess.

Only we can decide what is best for us, and that can change over time. It’s so important to give ourselves permission to go for goals with full-on focus and gusto, or to change them, or put them aside for a while, or whatever else we decide is right at that time.

What techniques do you use to keep yourself motivated on your goal-getting journey?

Photo by Hartwig HKD

About Maria Moraca

Maria Moraca is a conscious integrated channeler. She and Zurac (her “entity dude”) work in tandem; Maria encourages empowerment and Zurac offers insight and clarification to life path questions. Her website and blog are at

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  • Louise Watson

    Such a great post and much needed at the moment. I’ve recently been feeling zero motivation about my own writing so it’s great to hear some useful advice.Funny how a post or comment like this always appears when we most need it! Thank you!

  • Mariachanneling

    You’re very welcome Louise – and yes, synchronicity is a wonderful thing! It always feels like such a connecting experience. Thanks for connecting! 😉

  • Jesus

    A little bit thin article with lots of cliches.

  • Subramanian

    What’s with TinyBuddha and its authors, they seem to write great posts, tailor made to what I’m going through in life :D. Psychologically, I’ve analyzed my attitude of losing interest after initial excitement as one of seeking extreme self validation, I want to feel validated all the time. It’s like the elephant in the room for me, earlier, I used to brush it under the carpet, trying to will myself to focus on the present, only to lose interest at the earliest opportunity. Nowadays, I’m trying to accept this attitude and trying to factor it in while working on my present tasks…

  • shruti

    Thanx a ton.!! So many times i find myslf standng on d ground wid zero motivation n self confidence.! Bt nw i knw hw to fight against dis.

  • Ana Claudia Albelais

    what a great reflection on the reading. I am gonna try this as well!

  • Mariachanneling

    Glad you dug the article, thanks for commenting!

  • Mariachanneling

    Tiny Buddha is pretty great at that, I have the same experience. This is a great awareness, how awesome for you, and as you say, the more you know, the more you can “factor” it in. Best of luck in all your endeavors!

  • Theadora

    Perfect inspiration for a “Awwww c**p that essay is due in the morning but I’ve been at work all day” night! Thank you. 🙂

  • eLo

    Thank you for writing this (serendipitous) article! I am really down on myself in the thesis writing process and just want to give up. My mom sent me this link, and it’s just what I needed. I am writing down a list of what I’ve already achieved, and why I set out to do this in the first place–great thoughts and ideas.

  • Sarah

    Thank you! I have spent the better part of today crying about a book I’m trying to write. The crying is mostly all the emotions that I have about the topic, but feeling this raw about something makes it hard to keep going. And since I’m in charge, I plan to spend the rest of the day offering myself a lot of compassion.

  • Mariachanneling

    So funny how so many people mention the writing process! I totally relate! I’m glad you like the steps, let us know how it turns out…

  • Mariachanneling

    Thank you for reading it! Inspiration, yippee!

  • eLo

    Maria, based on your article I’ve been flowing this out…
    “Remind yourself that you’re in charge
    -You are the one who set this goal
    Look back at all you’ve already achieved
    -Incremental steps I’ve taken to get where I am today:…
    Explore the reasons you’re going for this goal, and
    remind yourself often
    -Why did I want this in the first place?”

    This is incredibly helpful…thank you again!!!

  • Mariachanneling

    That’s a really sweet proposition, Sarah – you have my energetic support in your endeavor! xo

  • Mariachanneling

    You’re so welcome! It’s great to get solid feedback like this, much appreciation from me as well! Best…

  • Great post Maria.

    I often find when I’m not feeling motivated that it’s a signal to me to do a health check and make sure I’m looking after myself physically. When I let a healthy lifestyle slip, my motivation is one of the first things that suffers.

  • Lucy Roleff

    It really is so important to reflect on what you have achieved! I started making lists all the time, keeping the lists, and then reading over them to remind myself of all I had done in times when I felt listless or at a crossroads 🙂

  • Jp Thomas

    Hello from Austin Texas , it’s been a long day and working in construction al my life , I find myself rundown to the core and only wish there was some way out of the day to day battle paycheck to paycheck .spring is coming up fast …

  • Hi JP, I have a theory about breaking out of the kind of tough rhythm you describe. I call it the ‘displacement principle’. I think it can be applied to anything of an essentially addictive nature, which ‘work’ often falls into too. I feel that rather than trying to ‘stop’ certain things we’re doing in our life, it’s more effective to add other things to it that will ‘displace’ what we want to change. For eg perhaps a smoker who wants to quit will find it easier to start cycling or building a serious yoga practice, it’ll naturally push against their smoking making it easier to start to ‘want’ to let go of that unhelpful part of their life. I do appreciate that it may be hard to change the rhythm of your regular paycheck and schedule, instead can it help to take up something you’ve always wanted to do. Start yoga, archery, psychology, coaching a sport, walking, sketching, whatever it is that is in your heart to have a go at. Start that new thing and it’ll naturally displace other things. For eg, work will have to let you go early on Wednesday’s and Fridays to attend the coursework, training or class, they might even encourage you in your new pursuit! You’ll take contracts closer to home, thereby cutting down travel time. In essence you’ll overhaul your priorities and as Maria suggests above, you’ll be taking control of your life. We’ve only the one for now so I figure it’s got to be smart to maximise our experience while we’re here. Hope that helps Buddy, Chris
    -An artist and Aussie bloke living in Mumbai, India

  • Jp Thomas

    Thank you , sorry its been so long .the time stamp says its either been 6months or 2 years ? Funny how i find myself right back where i left , round and round i go .

  • Ash

    I felt much joy reading this article. I’m struggling with motivation in general. I fall into bouts of depression and I’m trying to change a few aspects of my life that have haunted me for too long now. My weight yoyo’s constantly and I wish I could find some kind of balance. Soul searching and self reflection has been incredibly important in my steps forward and reading things like this gives me the hope I need that tough times don’t last forever, life’s what we make it!