“Don’t wait for the perfect moment. Take the moment and make it perfect.” ~Unknown
For almost all my life, I have lived in my head.
In my head, there was a utopia. And that utopia was named “someday.”
“Someday” I would have my degree, have the perfect relationship, become successful in business, own a beautiful home near the beach, be more athletic, and of course, be completely fulfilled with every aspect of my life.
For me, “Someday” was both a place of refuge and a place of torment. Because although in my mind, it gave me something to hope for, it also made every moment of every day feel… empty.
Nothing I did or experienced in the moment was ever enough. I lived life as a means to an end that never seemed to come.
Each day I would wake up and jump from one thing to the next. When brushing my teeth I would think about breakfast, at breakfast I’d think about my commute, and so forth until I reached the brief moments just before I fell asleep, so I could promise myself “ Don’t worry, it’s all worth it—you’re getting closer!”
I felt like I had to rush against some invisible clock to pack my life with the fulfilment I thought I needed.
Milestones were passed and yet, I never stopped to appreciate any of it. I rushed head first into a serious relationship that wasn’t right for me, moved across the country to find myself, and launched a business.
After years of working hard, I finally woke up one day to realize that I was “there.” I was engaged, living in a five-bedroom house, working as a high level marketing consultant, and had everything I thought I had wanted “someday.”
And yet… I was still completely unsatisfied.
While outsiders saw an amazing life, I was stuck comparing “someday” to my current life, and lamenting on how it didn’t stack up.
Then, something amazing happened.
I lost it all.
And I mean lost. It. ALL: My relationship exploded, I had to leave my home, I was let go from my high paid consulting gig, no longer had a car, and to top it off, I lost the two closest members of my family. All while being stranded thousands of miles away from any loved ones.
In the space of two weeks.
At the time I didn’t think it was such an amazing experience. It felt like I was standing at the top of a mountain while it crumbled under my feet, and I saw the fall I was about to take.
The amazing part came over the next couple of years, while I nestled in a humble little cottage working to rebuild my life.
At first, I felt sorry for myself. I started to sink into a deep “why me” pity party, and everyone was invited.
Then I realized, I was standing over the edge of a deep, bottomless hole. I could fight life and keep sinking deeper and deeper. Or I could decide to find a reason to step away from that edge and keep going.
I decided to look away from the edge. And it changed my life.
Here’s what I discovered:
Love the present moment.
Fully accept it and fully love it. It took me a long time to understand that you can want to change or move towards a goal, and still love where you’re at now. Life is about living and embracing each moment, not looking to some future that will never come.
Find the blessings in the current situation.
No matter how dark your situation seems, there is a jewel hidden somewhere inside it. You can make up your mind to see only the bad stuff, or you go find the beautiful stuff and be grateful for it.
Understand that there is no magic moment that will save you—and rejoice!
We’re all looking for that thing that will give us deep fulfilment. But it’s not outside of you. It’s not hiding in a job, in cars, in a house, in a relationship, or anything else. Those are all nice things to have. But that deep fulfilment will not come from any of those sources.
You’re already a full and complete person. And part of connecting with that deep fulfilment is simply in finding the joys in the current moment.
These three simple steps broke the hold that “someday” had on me. I realized that “someday” was every day. Every moment of our lives.
I started to enjoy every day. And to my surprise the fulfilment I thought that I had to work for was right there all along—even though I had nothing that I thought I wanted!
The funniest thing is that once I let go of that search for fulfilment, everything that used to live in the world of “someday” manifested into my life with ease. I have since found my soul mate, live next to the beach, run my own heart-based business, and although I’m no athlete, I’m definitely much healthier.
However, I always remember that regardless of whether these things stay with me or go, I will always have fulfilment in my life.
Sotake on any challenge or go after any goal with a clear conscience knowing that you don’t need it to become completely fulfilled right now.
You are already complete.
Man on top of the world image via Shutterstock