6 Powerful Questions That Will Change Your Life Forever

“Information is not knowledge.” ~Einstein

A few years ago I was lost. Frustrated. Scared. Unsure. Anxious. Trapped. Unfulfilled. Stuck in a dead-end job. Smothered by society’s expectations. Didn’t have a clue what I wanted to do with my life.

I cared for myself enough to change my life, but I didn’t have the slightest clue where to start. I spent my days wishing that things would change—that I could escape a life that my soul could no longer bear.

The worst part of all, I was living the life that society had always told me to live. “Find a secure job, work hard,” they would say. “Get a solid job and work your way up the ladder.”

I don’t know about you, but it turns out that for me, the “right thing to do” sucked the joy out of life.

Imagine feeling trapped in an unsatisfying existence. Wasting your precious time doing things that you really don’t want to be doing. Being afraid to express your uniqueness. Having fun on the weekends then dreading the upcoming week. Maybe you don’t have to imagine it; maybe your life is just like mine was, few moments of satisfaction drowned out by a constant grind of work that doesn't fulfill you.

Then something hit me. It was a proverbial hammer to my head. I’d heard it before, but it had never sunk in. Then, as if out of nowhere, a voice in my head spoke loudly and clearly.

“Discover who you truly are and fully give every aspect of your uniqueness to the world. This is your path to an extraordinary life.”

I followed this wisdom as if my life depended on it. And I can tell you that my life has changed for the better since I followed this guidance.

I can tell you without any doubt that the greatest piece of wisdom that I’ve discovered in my life thus far is this:

If you want to live an extraordinary life it is imperative that you know who you truly are, and to do so you must explore who you truly are. 

These 6 questions changed my life forever. They will also change your life forever by allowing you to find your true self, and in doing so, discover why you’ve been born into this great world.

I'm not talking about the “self’” that others demand you to be or the self that acts a certain way to fit in and conform with what society accepts. I'm talking about the true you—the you who wants to authentically express your special and unique qualities to the world.

By answering these questions you will discover your unique passions, strengths, values, desires, and motivations, which are all yearning for your expression.

You have a unique purpose. Discovering the answers to these questions will allow you to align yourself with that purpose and bring real magic into your life.

Self-knowledge is the greatest knowledge that you will ever acquire. Why? Because your ability to fulfill your unique internal drive will determine your ability to fulfill your potential, which in turn determines the quality of your life.

The questions below are designed to help to know yourself deeply and find what is truly important to you. We all have an unexpressed potential; the exercises are specifically designed to help you find yours.

1. What do I absolutely love in life?

List anything that you love about the world and the people in your life. Think about any activities that get you excited and enthusiastic and make you feel most alive. This can be absolutely anything: music, sports, cooking, teaching others, learning, watching movies—anything. Within your love for these things lies deep passion.

2. What are my greatest accomplishments in life so far?

List all of the moments that you are proud of as well as the times that you’ve succeeded. To have accomplished these, you would have used some of your key strengths. See if you can identify why you succeeded. Also, list any activities, hobbies, or anything else that you do that you complete with ease. Within these lie greatest strengths.

3. What would I stand for if I knew no one would judge me?

List everything that you would do if you weren’t afraid, even your wildest dreams. This will help you discover your greatest values.

4. If my life had absolutely no limits and I could have it all and do whatever I wanted, what would I choose to have and what would I choose to do?

Describe your ideal lifestyle. List what you would do throughout the day if you knew that you were bound to be successful, what kind of person you would be, how much money you would earn, and where you would live.

This question allows you to realize who you would truly want to be if there were no limits. By aligning with this you can begin working towards the life that you truly want to create. Know that you wouldn’t have a desire if you didn’t also have the ability to fulfil it.

5. What would I do if I had one billion dollars?

List everything that you would really love to do if you had all the money in the world. Okay, so you would probably travel the world, buy a house or two, and give some money to your family. Then what would you do with your time?

This question helps you to think without limitations. When we are able to remove limitations and boundaries, we can discover what we really want to do.

6. Who do I admire most in the world?

List your greatest inspirations and the qualities that you admire about these people. Think about what really inspires you in this world. What you admire about others is also a quality that is in you. Know that you admire someone because they have similar qualities to you.

Taking the time to answer these questions will change your life. The more that you can implement your passions, strengths, values, desires, and motivations into your days, the happier your life will become!

You can study to become a doctor, lawyer, teacher, or anything else, but this knowledge will only take you so far. Meanwhile, discovering the deep wisdom of self-knowledge will ensure that your life is far more meaningful and fulfilling. I've got a feeling that is what Einstein meant when he said “Information is not knowledge.”

The most valuable knowledge that you will ever discover is, and always will be, within.

Photo by Vinny123

About James McWhinney

James McWhinney is the author of The Wellbeing Revolution. James is committed to living an incredible life and empowering others to do the same. If you want to boost the love, happiness, and fulfillment in your life, check out his website at

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  • i agree – self knowledge, or rather i advocate self-aawarness is crucial to personal development
    it’s about understanding our underlying emotions and hence behaviour
    Noch Noch

  • Tanya

    This is by far one of the best posts I have read on this website. Very powerful & helpful. Thank you.

  • Lisa@practically intuitive

    This was an excellent post – thought-provoking and true.  Once you get on your path, follow your inner guidance and take action, EVERYTHING changes.  

  • Markstevenfuller

    very good ideas…thank you!

  • Deboldfield

    Great post. I’ve passed it along to my 18 year old daughter who is trying to figure out a career path. Hopefully this will help her make some great choices and avoid the years of slogging that so many of us have had.

  • Me

    What if we try and have no answers for these questions? I have no one that I admire. My greatest accomplishment is the fact that I’ve gone 32 years faking my way through life and not ending it.

  • Great article!  This may be the best article I’ve seen on this site.  You should post more often.

  • Cecilia

    Very inspiring and deep enough to dig within and bring out your true calling!!!

  • Annon

    Imagine feeling trapped in an unfulfilling existence. ”

    Sounds like parenting.

  • Guest

    I really like this post.  I answered all the questions.  Now what do I do with that info? I could find a way to have any of those things I would have by now.  I’m not sure if I understand. Thanks.

  • Cre8ive1978

    I would love for my son to learn these powerful lessons at an early age.

  • Matt

    I think you nailed it, a lot of us don’t have to imagine living an unfulfilling existence, even if there are momentary interludes of contentment.

    What if one has a very good idea of who they are, what inspires them, how to tap into that and be nurtured by it…yet we still feel this way more often than not?

    This was a great article, and by no means am I saying all of this to challenge the positive message contained within. I just think that for myself personally, identifying these things is merely a start. It’s knowing where to go from there that’s the challenge, as well as not losing site of it when the world starts to feel like its crushing your soul…

  • Sara

    Thank you for this. I have been in this weird transition phase where I feel trapped and I have been unsure of how to get where I am supposed to go. I know I need to do some more digging within myself and I have the loving support of my family while I try to figure things out.

  • Denise

    Wow, I’m sorry you feel that way.  I hope, if you are a parent, you can figure out how to make it more meaningful and fulfilling, not only for you, but for your child(ren), and if you are childless, there is absolutely nothing wrong with staying that way, don’t let societal “norms” dictate that you should marry and have a family.  Parenthood is not for everyone.  Good luck no matter which camp you are in.


    It has taken me more than 60 years to finally do what I have longed for. These are great questions. What’s important is how you act on your answers.

  • Candace

    I feel I was more aware of who I really am, and living as that person, at 18 years old than I am now at 58. ‘Life’ happened. I allowed my life to become the same as those I viewed at 20 as pathetic and sad…”who in the world allows themselves 2 weeks a year to do something, somewhere, that makes you happy?” I need that ‘ free to be me’ life again. I want to leave this life living and being THAT person. Maybe it took being diagnosed with cancer to here. I just hope I have the courage to do it! The questionnaire is a great tool…

  • Jodiregister

    I have been so busy recently that I haven’t been able to really sit down and read Tiny Buddah for the last few weeks. I suddenly decided to start today, and man and I happy that I did! What an excellent blog! Like a lot of other readers, this may be one of the best I have read on this site yet!

    I need to go write all my answers down but I was able to mentally go over them and even doing that, I immediately found the few things that have always called me. My struggle has always been what to actually do with that knowledge! A couple of my “passions” require a lot of money and although I am unbelievably thankful I married a man that has some cash flow… It doesn’t always help! A lot of people in the “profession” come from old money and it has predominantly remained that way over the years. What do you do to get past an issue like that?

  • Mariana

    GREAT article…absolutely loved it!!  I will try to answer the 6 questions… don’t know what could happen after that… 🙂 thanks!

  • Ritaak2623

    I feel bad for you , but I can relate about not being able to answer most of the questions. Life can be so hard, but I think you just have faith in the Lord and he will always be there for you. It’s good that you are reading blogs and articles like this. That’s a very positive thing to do! Bless you!

  • Gypsyweaver

    OMG!  This is exactly what I feel every single day of my life.  Who am I?  What purpose do I have in life?  Is there anything in life that I can do to be happy?  Why am I alive?  Thank you James for sharing this with us.  I will definitely try this; after all, I have nothing to lose.

  • Sarah

    Have you ever heard the expression “fake it till you make it”? You say you’ve been faking it for 32 years. I would imagine that you’ve learned far more than you’re giving yourself credit for. Something is working in your life – what is it?

  • Joleen

    WOW! Great article! Thanks!!!

  • James McWhinney

    If you continually question your consciousness, the answers will come. It took me a long process of continual questioning to truly find the answers that i needed. You’ll recieve them eventually 🙂

  • Glad you liked it Tanya!

  • Awareness is the first step, and a great step indeed. Now that you’ve answered these questions you are aware of your greatest passions, strengths and values. The next step is to introduce your passions strengths and values into your life as much as you possibly can. Let them be your guiding stars. The more that you can bring these things into your life, the closer you will be to fulfilment of your purpose, which is simply to give your unique traits to the world 🙂

  • Great to hear. Let me know how you go!

  • Glad this resonates with you. Let me hold you accountable to trying this, i want you to tell me your answers once you’ve discovered them!

  • I was also in that phase Sara. I believe 100% that these phases we go through are brought into our lives to give us a nudge in the right direction, and here you are!

  • I think the biggest thing for me was the discovery that we will never jump from who we currently are to who we depply desire to be. As long as we hope for a quick transition, nothing ever happens. However, if we take baby steps and begin by implementing our passions, strengths and values into our current reality, we gradually build momentum.

    You will always feel discontentment – everyone does. But as you implement your unique traits into your life more and more, the discontentment will become much rarer, in fact, you’ll find that your highs get higher and your lows will also get higher.

    Use baby steps to build momentum!

  • I’m glad you liked the article Jodie 🙂 If you’d like some extra guidance, feel free to email me and we can discuss this.

  • It’s great that you’ve developed such a great sense of awareness, Candice. Once you find your answers, the most important thing you can do is take ACTION! Take baby steps and begin by implementing your passions, strengths and values in to your life more frequently.What have you got to lose?!

  • Great questions, James, and very powerful ones.

    I can see a lot of journalling potential in each and every one 🙂



  • It is ironic that we are so often seeking the answers to life’s great questions that we fail to realize that often finding the right questions are more helpful.  Thank you for sharing your wisdom.

    I too have chosen to seek meaning, purpose, significance and satisfaction by understanding my heart’s desires and calling.  From time to time I share a few hard learned insights on my blog in the hopes that others might find them helpful in their epic life adventure.

    Andy Dix
    Author, “Life Matches: Fire Up Your Life!”

  • Bluventures

    Candace, I too was diagnosed with cancer at the age of 38. it definitely leaves you with a lot of eye opening questions and realizations. I hope you are healing well, not just physically but in life as well. It’s a slow process sometimes but well worth it.


  • Bluventures

    I’m right there with you on that one! I think thought the best way to do that is to lead by example and make them aware of asking themselves the same questions throughout their lives. The rest we can just hope they can be happy and healthy.

  • Bluventures

    These are great questions! I guess I have to consider myself lucky in the sense that I have never really felt that way, at least not long enough to not just walk out of the situation. I have been a free bird my whole life and have been able to travel the world, learn many lessons through experiencing people and situations that I would not have learned any other way. I was married to a wonderful man for nine years with whom I have an amazing daughter and he and I are still very close friends. I’m even friends with his new wife and we all co-parent very well together. I have also dealt with many illnesses through the years that I think may have helped me keep wanting to be free

  • Bluventures

    Oops! Hit post accidentally…

    The one question I have difficulty with is #3. I have never really worried about what other people think about what I do. Is there another way of looking at that question? Of course giving a speech to a large audience scares the crap out of me, but that’s not exactly a passion of mine even though I would do it if it became part of something I was doing.

    …or am I not understanding it?


  • Odyssey

    Annon, if this is where you are “trapped in an unfulfulling existence” you have the power through your thoughts, and choices to change that.  Open yourself up to a GREATER & BETTER existance for yourself.

  • Lv2terp

    FANTASTIC article!!!!! Thank you for such wonderful questions, and sharing your wisdom 🙂

  • Lana

    Put so well. And I agree one of the best blog posts I have read!!
    Really hits you at the core. I’m making changes as we speak. It definitely takes courage and persistence, 2 traits I hope to acquire.
    Thankyou for the inspiration

  • Great post and this really summed up where I was a few years ago, love it ” “right thing to do” sucked the joy out of life.”
    Great questions to get us moving towards the life we want, whilst we have to be happy with the life we have.

  • Deb Land

    Fabulous post – I actually took a piece of paper for each question and spent time scribbling in the answers.  They are now pinned to he board next to my desk so I can keep adding to them!  Thank you for sharing this post.  Namaste x

  • Rebecca Rofrano

    Wonderful post, and while I have thought of these items individually… They are moving and much more powerful together. I’ve share this with several friends.

  • Amused

    am I the only one who looks at these questions and becomes seriously afraid to answer them? what am I afraid of…actually having to do something to bring forth change? probably so.

    I’m not usually so opposed to change. in fact, I welcome it. I just don’t know why these questions scare me so.

  • You’re defintely not the only one who feels afraid. It takes true courage to push on through the fear, but it could be one of the most important grwoth phases that you’ll ever encounter. My tip: go for it! Your fear will quickly run away and hide as soon as you begin taking action.

  • Bluventures, you’re positivity is contagious :). With #3, it’s designed for you to discover what you may deeply feel but may be holding back due to fear of judgement from others. If you feel like you’re fully expressing all of your emotions and talents to the world in every aspect of your life, there is no need to find an answer. Challenge yourself to find an answer. Kudos to you if you can’t! 

  • Kara Zigay

    Number 4 has got me thinking and I’ve been writing like a mad woman about the life I want…. I seem to want it all and the life I want changes in my mind… Where I’d live what I’d do with my day but the one thing that doesn’t change in my mind is who I want to be…. ‘ll come back to this question again…..

  • steph

    Right!  Life happens, and you begin to think that what you used to want is no longer possible.  Especially while you’re raising a family;  priorities must shift, and in the shifting of focus, you lose the old ideas of YOUR ideal.  And if you are lucky enough to keep the old ideals in mind, maybe you can no longer afford the lifestyle or activities that used to be in that mental “pretty picture” of your life.  I so hear you, Candace.  I’m 44, and beginning to feel the same way as you.  Who the heck am I, and how can I NOW –with these circumstances (for me, my family) — be what I’ve always wanted to be?!  The best of all luck with your cancer fight.  I’ll say a prayer for you tonight.

  • Those questions are so powerful. They’re very similar to the ones I asked myself when I began figuring out what I want my life to look like. At the moment, it looks exactly like your old life as you described it. Clock-watching my way through the working week, clinging onto the weekend for dear life. It’s no way to live. But I feel as if I’m finally clear on what I want to do, and I’m taking the steps I need to take to get there. And questions like the ones you shared were so helpful in helping me to gain clarity and start taking action.

    Great post. It’s so reassuring to know that other people have been through similar experiences.

  • Christine

    i came to this article through an online job search bootcamp on which i highly recommend.  it’s part philosophy, part nuts-and-bolts.  you really have to do the homework to move (inch or leap) forward.  all of the reading in the world isn’t going to help if you don’t put pen to paper, or fingers to keyboard.  i really liked your comment james about building momentum w/ tiny steps. i also think a course that delves into these life questions should be taught in high school as kids start working part-time and prepare for higher education. i never read what color is your parachute.  but just handing a kid a book does not guarantee it will be read or applied to life (back to the information is not knowledge quote). and then of course these questions must be revisited throughout life as we evolve. 

  • A brutally honest set of questions which has made me think.

    Thanks James


  • Here’s a thought:  try stopping the faking.  See what happens.  That seems like a good initial challenge.

    After you’ve done that for a while, come back, try answering the questions, and figuring out a way forward from there. 

    But you’re not going to get anywhere new until you stop walking around at the end of the same dead end path.

  • Deepa

    This is a very useful post, thanks!

  • gas

    to lose a family member brings life into prespective my daughter and wife to be mean everything to me family do to and freinds and to make a smile on another persons face and help them is all i aspire to be to make my brother proud and to b half the man he was ( not to b him just take a few ov his values ) would make me happy good post and if i had more money id have more problems lol peace

  • P

    This is one of the best posts I have come across anywhere….Thank you, thank you, thank you.

  • Ursula wood

    Excellent coaching questions that probe for a deep meaningful answer from within. Many thanks, I will go away & do the work of answering them. Thank you x

  • Alii

    I red this about 5 times to fully understand it. Once I understood and could connect things, I literally started to cry. This is one of the best posts that I have read on a website

  • Hugo

    What now??

  • juck17

    This is really beautiful. I’m seventeen and am going to college in a few months and was wondering if I was making the right decision with my choice of major and career and this helped my realize that I am 100% on the right path. Thank you sir!

  • Bryan Johnston

    An excellent post, and one of those all-too-rare moments when we read something that seems to be written specifically for us. Every thought, every idea, every emotion spoke to me. It is me. It has taken me nearly 37 years to realize that the things I want and feel passionate about are not frivolous and childish. That everyone’s idea of “normal” is and should be different, speaking to us as individuals.

    I have been asking – and answering – myself these very questions for the past six months, and as a result am about to embark in an entirely new direction. Thrilling and terrifying. It’s nice to see the questions so succinctly articulated in one place…and to see that I am not alone in wanting and expecting more. Thanks, James.

  • Lovel

    1. The things I love are also the things that make me depressed
    2. I have no accomplishments so far
    3. Nothing
    4. I would become a ghost so I wouldn’t have to live through all the troubles and could just watch.
    5. I would probably give the 1 billion dollars away because I don’t even know what I would want to do.
    6. I admire no one.

  • fsdf

    Not just powerfull but really really helpfull

  • Lisa H.

    What I find interesting is how lifes answers come in the form of asking the right questions. The question I found most resonated with me was “if my life had absolutely no limits and I could have it all and do whatever I wanted, what would I choose to have and what would I choose to do?” I 40 years old and have yet to answer this fully. And I know, part of the reason is that if/when I answer it fully, I will feel a push towards making it my reality and I am not sure whether I want to deal with that yet.
    I also like the one about who I admire most in the world. I like the idea of seeing qualities I like in someone else and cultivating them in myself. Thanks for these questions. Now it is a matter of taking the time to reflect on and answer them.

  • God

    If you, like me, don’t buy this, just remember that suicide is an alternative.

  • Stefani

    Google brought me to this page and the opening paragraphs describe exactly where I am right now. I’m blessed in life and have some wonderfull successes in it too, but feel there is one almighty gap. I feel I’m not fulfilling an unknown dream if that makes any sense! So I have just sat down with a pen and paper to think through the questions …. Thank you xoxo

  • LadyAngler

    I broke down crying today reading this post. At age 50 I have been working in the corporate world, enduring toxic bosses and backstabbing coworkers to the point of becoming severely depressed and sick.

    I am trying so hard to answer these questions and figure out how to make a living doing something I am passionate about. My love for nature, animals, fishing, outdoors, simple living, art, helping others and the ability to overcome many hard knocks in life…there has got to be something out there for me that is better.

    I am dying a slow, painful death in the corporate world. Big salary, fancy car, keeping up with Jones’ boss and coworkers and high pressure job in big highrise office building – I feel like I am selling my soul to the Devil.

    I hate it, I am miserable and I am desperate to quit and find something where I can wake up and be happy instead of feeling like I am going to throw up. Yea, my job is that bad.

    I pray I find happiness soon and am hoping these questions turn on a light bulb so I can climb out of this darkness and feel normal again. I want to quit my job now but I support myself and my son, dont want to use what little savingsI have then be stuck unemployed. Wish me luck! Thanks for your post.

  • thank you very much.. I wrote all the questions on my journal and I will answer the questions with all my heart… I think this will help me a lot to become who I wanna be and be what I wanna be,, =)…

  • Ananya

    I have never been able to find a way to move towards discovering myself till I asked the 6 questions to myself. I am really glad that this step has brought in the beginning of clarity into my life

  • amrsamy

    Lets change this questions to : 1- Why im created ? , 2- What does the creator want from me ? , 3 – What happens after death ?, 4 – Is there really a hellfire and a paradise after death ?, 5 – What did the creator of everything do to guide me to his way ? – If you really find answers to this questions, you will be the happiest one on this earth, and you will feel how mature you’re.

  • Chris Warble

    1 – I was created to serve the creator, 2 – The creator wants from me my undying worship and gratitude, 3 – After death I will be judged for my actions on Earth, 4 – Maybe there is and maybe there isn’t, 5 – The creator guided me his way by putting people on Earth that have drilled this nonsense into my brain since birth. Thanks for the post, I’m changing my religion to undecided.

  • anand

    people in our world are filled with untapped potential ! your post definitely play as a key to open it and not only that, it also acts as a guidance to all who find themselves lost in treacherous mountains of life ! thank you n continue your good work ! cheers.

  • nice post ! serve as a path for the ones who lost in treacherous path of life. questions have to be answered. life has to be lived. and there is only one life. so, don’t allow regrets to creep in, rather be a pizza boy if you wish to do ! what you love, go for it !

  • Chris

    I Enjoyed this

  • Karun

    Thank you very much 🙂

  • thuxua

    If I can’t answer any of these questions, am I really lost?

  • Dennis

    I just found this web site today (4/20/13)…Candace I bet your post hits a lot of us heading into the last 3rd of our existence in the heart. When I was 20 or so, dreams and the energy they created kept me up at night with enthusiastic anticipation…But back then I thought I had forever to act on them. Now, a whole lot of living out of necessity and survival has taken the place of my dreams. They are so distant that this exercise is a whole lot harder than it would’ve been back then. I’ve spent my entire life with a few very brief segments, living to please everyone but me. I’m 62 and have this recurring feeling that I’ve managed to squander the lion’s share of a tremendous gift. Although I’ve had some very precious and notable events in my life, most has been spent in living a life of quiet desperation. Up until now I’ve lacked the courage to step out and make the gift of getting to live on this planet meaningful. Finding this site has been a gift and I give thanks to the author of this article. —A great place to start…

  • Dennis

    By the way Candace, I hope your dreams are materializing now and the cancer is only a memory.

  • hippiehappy

    I wish you the best in making a decision about your career that will bring you satisfaction. 🙂 Acknowledging what you do not like is sometimes the best first step toward achieving what do you do want. What I can say is, there is no job worth making one feel the way this job seems to be making you feel. Of course in the real world we must be practical, so finding a new job is ideal before moving on, but definitely move out of that toxic environment as soon as possible.

  • Katherine

    I love hippie happy’s answer. I’m 22 right now and soon to graduate; what you feel is exactly what I fear to be when I’m older. I hope that you can find something to do which you love and get out of that environment ASAP! It is crushing your soul. You said you get a big salary, fancy car, yet you love simple living. Perhaps that’s where and to wh you need to go back

  • Katherine

    Go back to**, a simple lifestyle.
    Maybe that’s exactly what you need, it will help with your savings and make you happier… It’s a big change but better than NO CHANGE.
    You have a child, and experience in work force..

  • Katherine

    & if you don’t do it for urself, do it for UR son. He’ll appreciate it more and can look up to you when he gets to this point. You will be HIS inspiration

  • Jit

    I wish I could answer. For example … with reference to the last question – there are lots of people I admire but bits and pieces. Some from another time. Each of these questions are potent but very fuzzy.
    No easy path for I has been asking similar questions for a while now :).

  • Dylan Albino

    “Adventure, Exploring, Nature, Learning knew things, How stuff works,
    Space, Action.
    Finding inner peace, Helping others.
    Bullying, The rights of all living things.
    I would live each day traveling, exploring the world, Discovering
    new things, helping people!
    Travel, put money into funds to stop bullying, help the ones really in,
    I admire anyone who does what they want, when they want.”
    My answers to the questions, but now what? I’m 17 years old, Just graduated and want to do something with my life that i have no idea what I am suppose to be doing, I’ve meditated, Searched my mind for the answer, but All i can feel, and all i see is you will not get somewhere without the money, I don’t know what job field is best for me with my answers, I’m stuck, and I am lost, If anyone has any suggestions, I would be most grateful.

  • Tvivl

    What if one doesn’t know the answers to these questions?

  • Dez

    Thank you for posting this. I’m 22, still studying and feeling the pressure to grow up and choose a career as everyone around me has already started their serious adult lives. I’m so unsure of what I want to do or who I want to be. I can’t believe I already feel behind at 22. This post has reassured me to relax and consider what is most important.

  • Sanjeev yadav

    Brilliant i loved it I was feeling so depressed but after reading this i know my potential i know where i stand and where i have to go Thank you so much for such beautiful words!

  • nou

    I feel trapped, and I also care for myself enough to making a change. Your post is very inspiring. I feel so happy just to write answers to your questions. I hope I will find a way.

  • a 14 yeah old retard boy

    anger came from fear. what are you scared of and you will find out what you are angrey at

  • katherine

    James thank you so much for this article. I am exactly where you were before and thought I would be forever stuck. You have inspired me!

  • mindstate

    really really like this and can relate to it. in the past month my grandma who I am very close with got diagnosed with leukemia, and my best friend that I grew up with got diagnosed with a brain tumor, and the girl I’ve been with for close to two year we just split up two days ago. I am in school for pipefitting and were I am from that is a BIG thing because they make lots of money were I am from but I hate it. I am in school and did a test and failed because with everything going on I find it hard to keep focused and study witch is stress all by its self. so I am lost in my thought and my identity or who I feel I was is lost and it is a scary feeling. I wanted to drop out of school and follow my passion but my passion requires money to get it started so I am stuck. sorry to vent. appreciate your post though. cheers

  • Lost

    married mom of 3 kids , turning 30 in a lil over a month.. and i feel like i have no idea where my place in life is… NO IDEA.. and the thought hit me like a ton of bricks… no idea where i am spost to be, where i am spost to be going , why i can never stop worrying about EVERYTHING,, controlable and uncontrolable. Lost completely lost , sad, loney, How and i spost to be a roll model for my children when I feel like i cant even get it together myself… ='( I just want to give them the best chance i can in life as i see it around me .. the world going down hill and i worrie about them dealing with life even worse than it is now days… I feel so strongly but somedays i can barely get myself out of bed… Lost… I feel like i need to be taught to stop looking at the negatives and look at what beautiful things i do have… Deeply saddened with myself..

  • OcaOla

    Then do not look at negatives. It is that simple. You know that God knows all. Think about it. If God is not willing to do anything about it, what chance do You have? If there is nothing You are able to do, why worry about it? But if You feel it in your heart, then go and change it.

    What would You like to do? What si your passion? What resonates within You?

  • Nicole K

    it is amazing how tricky some simple questions can be! I am only 25 and have hopped between several career choices and have once again landed in one that I am unhappy with. these questions were helpful! but hard! I think I will need to come back to them because I stuggled quiet a bit with them. but again…this was a helpful post. I just don’t want to make another bad career choice and find myself at a desk job that makes me want to…jump out a window or something. the one thing I said and thought I would never do is the one thing I am doing…a desk job.

  • bouboue

    this really has made my life better thnks

  • Altumspatium

    Answers to these questions are meaningless. Life is meaningless. In the end we are all going to die, end of story. No one will remember you in a billion years, and in about 10 to the power of 100 years the building blocks of matter itself will have decayed. What’s the point? This post, this whole website is just a bunch feel-good mumbo-jumbo, just there to try and trick you into buying something. The emperor is naked.

  • leon

    nice ..=D

  • Ann

    A really good post… Maybe we can try answering these questions everyday and identify where we stand and judge how much closer we are moving towards our goal of true happiness… a slow and step by step approach but really worth it….

  • Señor

    I can’t do it I hate my life I’m still young but I already have so much going on I feel like I can’t tell my friends anything cause of how they look at me so that means no getting serious they won’t take me serious and I don’t mind the job I just wish I had more guts to do what I wanted but being judged is one of my biggest fears

  • Ash

    Love of god is your life understand it make the most of it all you got is 25years it dos not mean that the world is going to end in 25 years in your life the best part is 25years enjoy it gods gift

  • Andrea

    This was probably the best post I’ve read so far on Tiny Buddha. It really forced me to reflect on my life by asking me questions that I’ve never bothered to give any thought to. Thank you so much.

  • L

    really enjoyed this, i felt like it spoke to me personally. Thank you.

  • mccrearym

    The prophet of meaninglessness never speaks, so it sounds like you’re trying to work out some issues that many others have or are dealing with. I used to think this way, and I eventually realized that it was my contrary, pessimistic nature that wasn’t letting me open myself up to other possibilities. The world can be a depressing, disappointing place, but closing off your heart and mind to anything other than your current beliefs is exactly the idea that your naked emperor reference was all about.

  • Chrissy

    I’m 23 and trying to find my place in the world. This definitely shed some light in me. Thanks for this wonderful post!

  • kingneptune

    Who you are is not important at all, it is totally the wrong question and the answer is meaningless. The only relevant question is who can you be. If you truly try to be the best person you can each and every day, who you are tomorrow is much more important than who you are today.

  • ThomasYates

    Great read 🙂 Only just come across your website but it shall be bookmarked and browsed over the next few weeks.

  • Become familiar with the futures. On the NASDAQ, futures do play an important role as the stocks usually move upward or downward with the nifty futures tips.

  • leemann

    i need help im stuck in a boring job and cant even afford to do anything other than eat and pay bills its hard to get up in the morning. i know exactly what im going to face each and every day i want to do more but im trapped.

  • Sinestre

    I love this post, but I have one question, and please know this comes from a place of desperation: What if your answer to these questions is “I don’t know?”, or “nothing”, or “no one” ? Does that mean I’m not trying hard enough? Sometimes I spend hours on things like this. I read “here’s a profound statement” and then I see “find out who you truly are” and I think “aw gee that’s great…” Sometimes I can’t even answer “What do you love to do” because there a lot of things I will like doing one day but not the next. Bah, this isn’t the place for ranting.

    Praises for your article. It was really good. Thanks.

  • Alex

    Information is definitely not knowledge – its just a bunch of known data as Einstein mentioned.. thanks for your post – it is really worth reading

  • sruthi

    its tooo good its really a refreshing thing of our mind

  • Noah

    I love you 🙂

  • G.B.

    I am very happy for you that you were able to do what I too seek to do. You give me great hope for my future as well. Thank you for your inspirational post.

    I have long struggled with such questions. As a woman I have huge mental blocks when it comes to thinking about or planning for my own happiness. I was raised strictly in a very traditional environment and was taught that selfish was the very worst thing a female could be. Women were meant to help, to fulfill the needs and wants and dreams first of parents, then our husbands, and finally our children and their children. This was instilled in the fiber of my being to the degree that it now feels terribly wrong for me to focus on what I might want or need as an individual. Though I haven’t quite figured out how to overcome years of harsh conditioning, I now know I badly want to know what I want.

    In the past I’ve had similar questions trigger anxiety attacks. At this point, your questions make me draw very uncomfortable mental blanks. I tried to think of myself as another person- a child or a stranger- to get around the problem but somehow I can’t fool the inner conscience guarding my conditioning to be a nurturer, an enabler, a caretaker, a helpmate, but never an independent entity with personal desires. At least I’m aware of the problem and am working on it, which is progress!

  • red

    there are so many things that have been running through my mind all year. Much of that includes self-doubt. I am a very confident young woman. 24. Good looking (not that it matters, just saying). I am one class short from getting a Bachelor’s Degree. My life is at a standstill at the moment. I had a falling with my aunt and uncle who I lived with for a year and a half of college. I truly regret ever moving in with them after living on my own. It was like spiraling backwards. At 23, I was being told to be home by 10. They didn’t understand my job, my library study hours. My community service. When I would go party like twice a month, I’d get the talk. i really regret living there and I believe that is where my independence starts to die. I have always been very independent. Worked since I was 15. Very smart with plenty of scholarships and payed bills, even my moms, at a young age. Haven’t had the best upbringing what with my mom only working 4 months a year and depending on unemployment for the rest of the year, never really wanting or knowing how to progress using “i don’t know how to drive” “i don’t speak english” “we live in the middle of nowhere” “there are no jobs” I mean I am grateful she has raised us, miserably and impoverished, but still she always prioritized a roof over our heads and food to eat, but I totally recent that in 30 years, she hasn’t in the least progressed. Ever since I can remember, she would tell me that when I was old, as in 18yo, I would take care of her and clothe her and feed her, which is fine and totally isn’t what happened, but it pisses me off how dependent that really is. If I was her, I would have learned to drive and driven myself to adult school or something of the sort. What she uses as excuses are sorry excuses, and I’m sorry, but It sucks!

    Okay, so here I am, having gotten kicked out of my uncle’s house because he didn’t like my ex, making my aunt jealous and thinking I was having an affair with this disgusting old man. Which makes me recent her and family altogether. And if you don’t have family, what do you have you know? So I am back in this small town full of underachievers living with my mom because “I can’t afford to live on my own” I am $3k in debt which isn’t much so I am totally paying that off, slowly but surely. (college student mistake, I know). I can’t even afford to pay the $1200 law class I had failed (I had never failed before, but I guess it happens) to get my degree that I worked so hard to earn. And that hurts, you know? All of this has happened, and I feel lost and angry and lonely and miserable and unfulfilled.

    So i started my own business, and my “family” doubts it. And I don’t need to prove them wrong, or do I? I may. But this is where self-doubt comes in. I am full of it. even though when i get in front of my audience, I teach and motivate, when I sit back down, I feel insecure about my leadership. I know I can do it, but I am scared to start I guess. I am scared to sweat and cry and bleed. But it seems I have no choice. Even with a B.A, i don’t really plan on using it after working at NBC and realizing it wasn’t all it’s cracked up to be. yet, i don’t feel right not finishing something, you know? I feel like my accomplishments aren’t shit for my family. so that’s why i feel so lonely. If family is supposed to be thee for you, but isn’t, then what do you have. Don’t tell me God, God is love and all, but tangibly, what is there? All I can do is continue with my business, move out, even if I am broke, adversity can either make you or break you right? I guess this is God’s ultimate test. To get out of my comfort zone and make something of myself to later come back and help my mom help herself. I have to lead by example. Ever since I have been at my mom’s, I haven’t left the house but to work out in the garage and run out in the country road. I have never watched so much TV in my life. It’s so lame. I don’t feel mentally challenged. I feel lost and stuck, broke, with no car. But like Jim Rohn says (I will paraphrase) in order to change your circumstances, you must change the cause which is yourself and that may be by leaving your current home, occupation, family, friends. I wish I had someone to talk to about this in person. After breaking up with my ex who was my best friend but who also was dragging me down (he was a very good looking underachiever) I now have no one. I have friends, but I want a best friend.

    if you feel persuaded to reply to this, just share your story with a successful theme, no need for much advice because I do believe I know what I have to do though the idea is dormant at the moment. I am sure if other people read this, they will appreciate not being alone on this.

    Hopefully, there are people who want to share how they have overcome tremendous obstacles

  • GenerationLost

    No that’s a great question. I was wondering this too.. Personally I kind of dislike these type of articles.. They always give me false hope, and never any sense of peace, only more questions and uncertainty.. For example.. My answers for the questions were as follows:

    Q1. Music, Food, Teaching.

    Q2. Nothing.

    Q3. Integrity, Morality, Justice, Compassion, Truth.

    Q4. Be Rich, Be Happy, do nothing all day, and live somewhere warm all year round. Q5. Help people.

    Q6. I don’t admire or idolize anyone.

    Unfortunately that doesn’t tell me much of anything about myself i didn’t already know. and doesn’t help give me any kind of direction.. I am 29 years old.. haven’t worked in about 6 years due to severe anxiety.. Broke off with my ex of 5 years.. Back to living in my parents basement.. No income. No education. Thinking about getting a job and working every day gives me so much anxiety that I start planning out ways to kill myself.. However, my father did that, and the guilt of what it would do to my mother is the only thing that prevents me from following through.

    I desperately want to be normal. I have spoken to numerous Councillors Therapists, Psychologists, Psychiatrists, etc.. and been called an enigma or a personal project more than a few times..

    I am even undergoing Neuro-feedback Training, to try to fix my brain, and that’s having very little results. Which again is puzzling my psychologist.
    ( )

    So really.. any direction or guidance would be appreciated.. Unfortunately, these questions left me in a WORSE state than i arrived in… 🙁

  • Victoria

    Read The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle

  • Gigi

    Wow i am speechless.I wish you wouldn’t be so lonely because you are a wonderful person and have overcome so much.You are strong and should feel proud of yourself.I got a question for you : Don’t you think it’s time to think about you and not your mum or others like you’ve been doing ? Have you ever asked your mum why you’re the one taking care of her and not the other way around ? What is your business really ? Just know that you are not alone, someone does feel your pain out there and probably went through the same or similar life situation as you…The best advice I could give you is to believe in yourself because that is the one thing that will not let you down.You have done so much, you will do some much more.Start enjoying the simplest things in life like staring at the sunset eating ice cream, taking a long walk in the woods and listening to the sounds of nature, going down a slope on a bike ride or even jumping in poodles with your boots on .You will see life is not that bad and you will get through it.Before you know it , you will move on from the state your in now .Good luck , smile and appreciate the fact that you are powerful young, beautiful and alive woman.

  • Jacq

    Not that i am a psychologist but I felt the need to share some thoughts.
    If the answers you have given feel complete to you, I would consider doing the exercise with someone that helps you elaborate on them. What do you like about music, making it or listening to it, what kind of music?
    But in your case, I would think getting over your anxiety is an essential first step to make. Keep looking for support please!
    And there must have been achievements in your life, right. Did you ask others for input on that one?
    Last thing that comes to my mind is the combi of you wanting to help people and you like teaching. Any chance you can do something with that. Community work or anything?
    Good luck!
    P.S. there is no harm in idolizing anyone, it does not mean that person is better than you are or that you want to be that person, it simply shows he/she has made an achievement you would want to make. Think small, admire the neighbor kid for being carefree or such thing.

  • shreya

    Thanks for sharing this with the world! I am in the same situation these days and just needed to read smthng like this. Really.. THANKS!


  • pit

    and, what should one do, if he is too old to start…

  • Jennifer

    Lady Angler you may have just saved my life. I am 23 years old and graduated at the top of my class in both high school and college and I feel ashamed that I have not landed a high paying job but I know myself enough to know I would absolutely HATE a corporate job. After reading your comment I have to stop being afraid and worrying about what others think and do what makes me happy. Thank you!

  • Stuart Petty

    well this all good and well. We can ask ourselves these questions on a daily basis but do we have the balls really to quit our jobs and start a new life. Where will the money come from? i live on rent and work full time. After taxes, rent and utilities it leaves me a miserable amount of money to live from in this days economy! I live in Finland which has great benefits but great tax percentages also and cost of living here is so expensive. 7 euros for a bar beer and 28 euros for a pack of 24 small beers. carton of milk 1euro, bottle of soda 3-4 euros! clothes are way overpriced. A tiny bag of weed less than one gram and poor quality 20 euros. but i will get a pension when Im 70. i would love to drop it and move to Spain where the red wine flows for 2 bucks a bottle weed is quality and 3 euros a gram. food is affordable to eat a stable diet all week. How will i tell my girlfriend and friends i’m upping and leaving and where will my pension come from when i’m old how can i get a secure job there? well people it sounds great. The reality is that life sucks unless your born into money and have had early life opportunities good schooling. What about the people that dream these thing on a daily basis and have no opportunities to start again?

  • Happy Plants

    This is where I am at in my life. I’m 23, I have a Corporate job in IT (making a fairly descent wage), but………I have a poor family and I am almost forced to live at home because of the cost of living and not being able to move out. My family never has money and always ask me for something. I don’t mind but its to the point where I basically pay all the bills. I am extremely frustrated, because I feel like this situation is holding me back from living my life. Because of this frustration and pain, I work and smoke weed almost everyday, just to ease the pain and make it through the day. I want to get more out of life then just paying bills and getting high! But I don’t know where to start :/

  • Kdun

    This post is truly inspiring to me. I too have been feeling lost. I am having trouble answering these questions.. I feel like I don’t know myself and have no clue what I really want in life.

    I do know people tell me they love being around me due to my positive attitude and compassion. And is something I do admire in others. Just gotta work that into something I love.. I would love to help other people be happy. Just don’t know how to go forth with that at this point.

    Though I am going to devote myself to answering these questions. I know they will help me and to inspire me to work towards a life I want.

  • Vivek

    Very well. Very nice James. So many people were/are feeling same and I am no different. Your article s really nice. Fresh and I guess, I will able to help myself. But yes we need to a bit more pragmatic.

  • Angela

    Hi I’m Italian then I’m sorry for the mistakes. I tried with all my strength to do what I loved..but I’m always at the same point!! I’m wasting the most beautiful years of my life at home because I don’t know where to start. I’m insure and I’m afraid of making mistakes and the judgment of others.What should I do? Please answer me



  • MrTommyB

    Absolutely brilliant post, inspiring without overcomplicating the fact that we are our own future and there IS life outside of a desk job – I will change my life! Thank you x

  • Arthiel

    Dear LadyAngler,
    You seem like someone with a lot of passion and decision power. Use it. My suggestion is instead of looking for a new job WHILE stil hating the old one give this a go:

    1 – Every morning before work think about at least one thing you like about your job and you are thankful for. You know, nothing superfancy, even small things like “I like Jhons cologne and I’m thankful for this pleasant, woody smell” or “I like that thanks to this job I can get my son an awesome gift he always wanted”. Stuff like this. I know it may seem both silly and hard at first. If it does nothing for you after 2 or 3 weeks – just drop it 🙂 Hopefully it will make you like your job a little bit more again and again! It will change your focus.

    2 – Job is overrated! Think how can you put your passions into a business. Quick idea from the top of my head: What if you’d start a “Work-a-holic Re-treats” business? People, just as stressed and burned out like once you, with high-profile jobs and fancy cars would drop that facade for a day or a weekend and under your guidance will learn to fish and about animals and nature. Being outdoors always soothes and opens our hart. You could form an allience with some Meditation expert or Yoga trainer perhaps where you could share your valuable insight into minds of people like you. You seem sensitive to human nature and needs, thats for sure! You would be helping others when they need it the most. You can easily fire a pilot by just inviting people from your job to join you on a weekend like that. If you like it – package it nicely, promote and call it a business. You can do it all just as your after-hours small project at first. 🙂

    3 – Have Fun!

  • G7Jerusalem

    hi I answered all 6 questions!! What next? What should I do.. how can I help myself??

  • Stuart ‘lucky’ White

    I want to share this and would love anyone to give me a view on this please

    1. What do I absolutely love in life?
    Happiness. family. friends. letting people know how I feel about things. listening to other peoples views on things. traveled some parts of the world that I could only dream of. trusting people. opening up to people.

    2. What are my greatest accomplishments in life so far?
    explored parts of the world. shared my happiness with my family. giving something back to my family after all they have been through. showing my happiness. letting people know who I am. realizing I am a good person

    3. What would I stand for if I knew no one would judge me?
    for what I did to my family also the way my family raised me

    4. If my life had absolutely no limits and I could have it all and do whatever I wanted, what would I choose to have and what would I choose to do?
    make people happy so they can share the happiness I have found. world peace and remove all the evil things in this world. not sure where I would want to live but deep down I know I am happy where I am now

    5. What would I do if I had one billion dollars?
    invest on some of it. share it with true family and friends. do the things I have wanted to do that I havent managed to do before. show the world that it is a better place then it seems to be
    6. Who do I admire most in the world?
    people who have fought against the odds and are still standing strong

  • bbante

    Very nice. i got some strength today. I was looking to talk with some one but was afraid to tell it might not be relevant to other person. after reading feels no need. feels better and motivated.

  • Aakash

    My love is cinematography and film making but i don’t have the expensive equipments needed to carry out this passion as I am only a student. So, what should I do? Should I carry on with my passion just with the help of my phone camera or there is no point in carrying on with this thing? I really love cinematograhy from my soul

  • JP

    Thank you very inspirational

  • ssss


  • ssss

    Ok. I’ll take 3 minutes on this questionaire.
    1. what do i love in life? well without the opportunity how do i know? i want to act no luck. i want to invent no luck. i want to own my own company. no luck.
    2. greatest accomplishments mean nothing to owning a company or finding auditions or creating inventions.
    3. if i could get seen by enough people than acting inventing and running a business would be easy. so no one is there to judge. stupid question.
    4. choosing means nothing. getting in the place at the right time and working hard is what matters on this rock. or knowing someone somewhere that can help you.
    5. billion dollars? i would not answer that because people would make even more money off my ideas. also if i had that money i wouldnt be on here commenting
    6. admire? someone did this and did that and went through this and that. what does that do for me exactly? i mean be real people. this is a joke.

  • jkxfbgjkdfbg

    didn’t do anything to me..
    i’m still depressed

  • John Doe

    Now what? I just spent the last 2 hours answering these questions. Great questions by the way. But how do we translate this exercise in action items. I’m 22 years old, ambitious and hope to be moving in the direction toward my “ideal lifestyle”. I was thinking about taking these questions and my answers to a career counselor at school and maybe they could provide some further insight into what my answers actually mean.

  • Rafay Farooq

    I dont understand how these questions can help anyone… I mean, I have all the answers to these questions.

    I know what I love, I know my accomplishments… I can picture where I would stand if nobody is there to judge me. But what diffrence does it make? Everybody is still there to judge and comment on me! I know what I’d want to do and have if my life had no limits, so what if I know? My life still has limits!

    I guess this is what Enstine was trying to teach us. Stop gathering information! I have all the information what I would want to become, and what I would like to have, and what type of life I would like to live. But how do convert this information into knowledge?
    How do I become what I want to be? How do I get away with my laziness and bad habbits? How do I get the job I want? I need the answers to these questions and not those that help me with mere information.

  • Teal

    Question three seems unclear, are these the actually the seven questions? Last time I looked ‘what would you stand for’, and ‘what would you do in your wildest dreams’ don’t mean the same thing. Not to nit-pick — but I will nit-pick.

    Also these seem like questions to successful people who want to have substance in their lives. What if when all you really want are stoic things like love, family and general well-being, but you cannot in any measure achieve such if you are say, unhealthy and/or unattractive? Say if you loved animals and everything to do with, but you were fatally allergic to most of the animal kingdom? (bad example, but moving on)
    What if things that are beyond your control like the fore-mentioned limit your life such that you can do none of the things that would even put you on the path towards success?

    My life wasn’t changed at all. Not because I misinterpreted, or because I’m so stuck-up to understand the text, or to see a way to follow up on it. You just can’t say it’s applicable to everyone like that.

  • liz

    OMG! Everything you just said I’ve said to myself. I refuse to work in corporate america anymore. I have been a 1099 employee trying to find my work passion as well. I completely agree with everything you said and feel the same way myself. I want to quit my life as it is an wander the world exploring new places and meeting new people. I just looked up today about joining the peace corp. And, it would pay for some of my student loan debt too!!! I wish you the best as I am on the same journey. I wish I had someone in life to share the experience with tho!

  • earthling

    James, you are a Godsend! Reading your article totally lifted my spirits this morning, And even better, reading the comments that your readers have left lifted my spirits twice as high. Look what you have done for all these people just by being yourself and sharing that with others.
    Whatever it is that makes you tick, keep winding it!! Everything you said strikes home in a way that people should with each other.

  • Words

    Where abouts in Finland do you live? Not the experience I’ve known…. So I am sorry to hear of your struggles.

  • Words

    A mixed response in the comments I see. I’ve read the article and I love it. I just need to actually do it….damn procrastination. But I am determined to do this and progress my life. I did quit my shit job this week though…First step? I hope so!

  • jo

    I read this today because of how lost i feel in my life. I feel lost i feel lonely and today decided i need to change my life. On the outside i come across as happy smiley but on the inside i feel lost lonely and as if i have no purpose. Good read and will be going through the six points .

  • Jenny

    Reading this posts really makes me wonder what and how much can I do with my age, Im only 20 and Im pretty much confused what life has to offer for me. I have a job, loving family and friends and no boyfriend. I mean, how life can be more adventurous for me? I will find answers. Thanks for this post;

  • Lucid-Dreamer

    What If I don’t have an answer to any of these questions? What If I don’t know what I enjoy in life? I can’t figure myself out… I feel trapped with a stranger and that stranger is myself. 22 year old female with a 1 year old son and I have no idea what I am doing or who I even am… Where do I start?

  • arun

    i am a btech holder in ec and working in electrical on contract basis and i dont know what to do next

  • Beth

    I’m 53 and feeling exactly the same as you. My stomach churns as I drive in to work. It’s very hard to come to terms with the fact that after years of hard work to get a ‘decent’ job, you find yourself hating that job. The only answer I’ve come up with so far, is to go part-time. I’ve had to make financial sacrifices, but now at least I’m only miserable 3 days a week instead of 5! The rest of the time I spend as much time outdoors as I can. I’m still searching for viable alternatives – I have to earn at least as much as I’m earning now before I can quit my job, and I need to stick it out for another 18 months for the minimum pension (still won’t be enough to live on), because the thought of old age without any income is too scary to contemplate. I would be so interested to hear if you managed to find a solution.

  • Gara

    I am confused, but I can stop being confused. I am under a lot of stress but I can also stop that and I’m not as happy as I would like to be but I can change that too. My point is you need stress and confusion and you totally need to do things that you don’t like so that you can appreciate when one day you finally do something that you do like. We need pain, we need love and we definitely need everything that can be found in life. Love , stress , happy , sad , crying , smiling , being nervous and being stupid…etc these are the things that you can have in life, life is about all that not just happiness or just crying. Life is everything that we have, lots of times we need pain to realize the facts, after all it’s only pain that makes us feel completely alive nothing else, that’s why when you are just too happy and you have everything you ever wanted you always sleep with one eye open thinking you wake up and all is lost and it was all just a lovely dream and I do not want to live a dream, I want the real thing, I want life, I choose life. That’s why we are all here to live and use the information that we have to do a better job than the ones before us. It’s got nothing to do with you being happy or doing something that you want, you can never run away from your destiny, what’s written for you is exactly what you are going to get brother, and there’s nothing you or anyone can do about it. You have already been assigned for a role to play, you can either take it or leave it, I wouldn’t recommend leaving it though but what do I know I’m only 22 and my motto “Always go through, don’t go around, DO NOT GO AROUND”.

  • Joice

    I’ve just turned 18 and from a young age I knew I was different from other people around me. I’ve always been open minded, accepting towards other and non judgmental. I converted to Buddhism at 16 after a battle with depression which really helped me view life in a different prospective. Anyhow recently I have been feeling hopeless especially in regards to some of the things happening in the world like the war in Syria, I also read an article in which a man got suspended from work for saving a wheelchair user who fell into some train tracks. I no longer have faith in humanity, and I truly fear for our future. Talking of the future I still have no idea what I truly want to do with mine although everyone is pressuring me to make a decision. To cut a long story short this article really made me feel at ease and helped me realize that I must first discover who I am before deciding what to do with my life. However how realistic is this? At 18 with no money and a future of student debt what can I really do to be happy?

  • Jane

    My thoughts are with you, I had something to post but in short, I wish you the best, don’t be afraid of change. Live how you want to live, not to the expectations of others. Take your life into your own hands, it is never too late 🙂

  • EvilCinema

    so this always comes back to money…

  • Guest

    What if I can’t find any answer to questions 3, 4 and 5? I’m completely lost! I’ve spent about an hour pondering these questions and have no ideas. I’m 28 and have tried to answer such questions like these throughout my 20s but to no avail. This had led to depression and a lack of career and general life direction. Now I understand no one can answer these for me but what do people suggest when faced with this reality? The depression is situational from the very fact I don’t know what I want in life – not a clue! This is not due to inertia however – I have three degrees, worked at some highly regarded companies and had a published research paper. I only state this so you’re aware of the fact I have tried and experienced a number of different paths. Thoughts are very welcome 🙂

  • Guest

    What if I can’t find any answer to questions 3, 4 and 5? I’m completely lost! I’ve spent about an hour pondering these questions and have no ideas. I’m 28 and have tried to answer such questions like these throughout my 20s but to no avail. This had led to depression and a lack of career and general life direction. Now I understand no one can answer these for me but what do people suggest when faced with this reality? The depression is situational from the very fact I don’t know what I want in life – not a clue! This is not due to inertia however – I have three degrees, worked at some highly regarded companies and had a published research paper. I only state this so you’re aware of the fact I have tried and experienced a number of different paths. Thoughts are very welcome 🙂

  • Ajay

    I m 17 but my life is fkin shit .I cant live my life properly that I want. what can I do please help me

  • PG

    If you had lived a simple life as you described…you probably would have been longing for a stable life…fancy car…big salary…and a dream house…You have the resources to change your lifestyle……. you can take a long vacation….and do all the things you mentioned …but if you really were what you want to be right now…and you wanted otherwise….it would be pretty hard for you to have all those things at 50 and provide for your son in today’s time of consumerism .!
    I would kill to have your life…and then sort things out…I’m telling you this because I’ve been poor all my life…spiritual gratification is a LUXURY for us….!

  • Leigh

    I’m 17, just graduated,and in college doing my liberals. I’m glad I found this. I currently have so many options within myself that I just don’t know what the heck to do with my future and it scares me. It makes me scared to see my peers knowing what they want to do and im just here stuck and still guessing. I have plenty of time to explore but I wanna graduate on time and have a good job that i’ll love in the future.

  • Hamad

    I really would love to change my life. I’m 20 years old from Dubai and I study in college right now. I don’t study what I love, Im studying IT now and I would like to study art and be an artist, but the culture and the people I live with thinks that Art is not a career and its not way of living. and I don’t have the courage the express my self with my art.
    sorry for my english.

  • lewis

    i would be grateful for the fact of having a job, not to say you cant be miserable while eemployed, of course! but you have the ability to change yr work place and enviroment. i have been unemployed for a long time apart from the occasional bit of part time work and find my self completely miserable, i have no routine in my life and i know this is what is making me deppressed but i dont seem to be able to pull myself out of this hole. i dont seem to be able to even find pleasure in the time i do have to myself, and thats alot of time atmo, i feel useless and even though reading things like yr posts can temparily change my state of mind i dont seem to follow things through.i had a good well paid job a house, but due to circumstances cant go back to to that type of work, im 35 and my daughter is now 13 she spends every weds and every other wknd with me i dont want her growing up with the useless bum i feeel iam as a dad, im lost…… to help!????

  • …..

    This is just increadible, I never comment on any article or post but I just had to only first point was enough to remind me meaning of my life again, thanks.

  • Confusedguest

    I find the 6 questions difficult to answer personally. I do not know what I wanted. I do not know how to answer these questions. After a painful relationship with my ex which ultimately made me impulsively quit from my teaching job (which I also hate doing), I lost everything at 36. I am unemployed for almost a year now because I couldn’t figure out what I want to do. I have no car, no money, no job. I have exhausted all my savings moving from one city to another. I am just lucky I have a sister who is there to provide me food and shelter and moral support and who continues to pray that I will find my place in this world.I want to be independent and be on my own again and I really hope I will be able to find out the purpose of my existence and discover what will TRULY make me happy.

  • kimertz

    Thank you very much. It helped a lot with my current state of mind.

  • Mrs M

    LadyAngler.. you
    are not alone. You are at age of 50, I am 33 years old. I have travelled the
    world, lived in three different countries, had and having a great carrier, high
    position in company…. but my heart is somewhere else. Everyday I am stumbling
    my toes over signs from “universe” that I should have change my life. My health
    is getting worst, my 3 years old son is seeing me less and less. I am tired of
    all this. I hate to fight every day.

    So I decided I
    have to change. I made long term plan. As we all have financial commitments we
    can’t simply change things from one day to another. But small change can help.
    Working in high tech industry in top management where are only men sitting around
    me (sorry there is still strong men dominated world where women must prove we
    are as good as men ) I learn one thing. I can change my life when I really
    want. When I can manage projects worth of millions of euro, I must be able to
    manage my life and change my life to my benefit and benefit of my family. So I traveled back years, to my youth dreams,
    what I wanted to do, what makes me smile when I think about it. And I am pursuing my dream. Step by step.
    Problem is that I want to rush time and be there now which isn’t possible. But I
    know I can make it. I will take herbalism business after my father, have selfsustainable
    farm where I am not depended from The System, I will help with my herb teas and
    remedies and massages to those who need
    it but mainly, I will save myself and my family. Because I will be part of my
    family, not only member who walks home when children are asleep and husband
    bored flipping channels on TV. I hope you manage to do small changes in your life
    which will make huge effect at the end.

  • Boost

    Hey there Happy Plants, you sound a little like me…having family ties that tie you down. I no longer live at home but I’m heavily depended upon by immediate family and I don’t have the time to sort out my own life because I’m spending most of my time sorting out theirs. The money you spend on weed, save it and watch how much it grows – you’ll be surprised at how much money you save. Take that money and enjoy your life – take trips abroad with friends, meet new people and have acquaintancies in other countries where you can visit….you never know, it could lead to a better job abroad. IT is global and can take you places. There is more to life than staying in smoking weed…I was around your age when I started smoking and missed a lot of great opportunities because of it. Have a goal and aim for it. I didn’t have any goals at your age…I was happy in my menial clerical job, earning enough to go out with the girls, go on holidays, getting my own place, etc. I’m now 38 and have just made the decision to give up smoking. I’ve been trying for the last 8 yrs and it’s bloody hard let me tell you! Trust me honey, time flies from the age of 30. Start now. It’s had to ignore family, especially when you live with them. Take an evening course to further your education and work your way up. Don’t settle for what you have now. When you’ve scaled the ladder you’ll then be in a better position to help your loved ones. Go for it girl!

  • joe

    When you are drowning, you would even cling to a straw. I am glad i found a boat to cling to. Thanks.

  • flintlockx

    i am 18 years old….i think of my life so far is a wierd one, i have a nice family, a great house, great friends but i think about things, more than anyone els i know, stuff like polatics, science, the universe, death, life, magic, the world and more….each time i think about theese things, i feel sick to my stomach…i demand answrs but no one will help, man, women, dog, plant or god…i have asked them all the questions nd none have given me the answers…am i just crazy?…or have i missed something….

  • Gabby

    Hamad I understand exactly where you are coming from. The question you need to ask yourself is who are you living for? You should do the things that make you happy in life or you will feel unfulfilled. If you don’t want to change your major you can always do a minor in what you love. It would be sad to give up your dreams because of the expectations of others

  • bobo the chimp

    problem is i dont give a shit about anything SOOO much, that these questions feel like everything my therapist asked me. my ideal lifestyle? if i knew i wouldnt be looking for answers online and paying for stupid therapy.

  • Down

    Question. What if you already doing what makes you happy in life but it seems like that one thing that makes you happy is not smiling back at you? I mean, I guess we all know that sometimes even if you are really working hard to achieve that happiness that you want in life but you still don’t get any success. Worst, it pulls you down and until you hit rock bottom. When you will know if you need to give up and stop the pursuit to your happiness? I think I need help. Please. HELP. Thanks!

  • Anthony Haruki

    What a fantastic blog! Lots of great questions to spark those thoughts. I think often when we ask “what should i do in life?” we’re hoping an answer will be given to us. Truth is, the only way to figure it out is to DO THINGS. Have a go at this that and everything. Get out of our comfort zone. If something sparks our flame, do more of it.

    And, I’ve certainly learnt the hard way… If you hate your job. Quit. Happiness and health is worth 50x more than the money. Ask any retired person what he regrets most.. Do you think they will answer ‘I wish I’d worked more doing what I didn’t enjoy’?

  • Aguythatisreallyconfused

    Hi , Ive tried my best to answer these questions , and i have, plus i have gone over it 100 times , but im still not sure what to do in mylife , i have no job and the moment and no money ,I was in the army for 6 months when i was supposed to stay 15 months , but i got out early because i was having psychological problems and im pretty sure that my parents do not have any pride in me , Im just really confused i actually do not know what makes me happy in life and what i really want to do with my life , I guess i dont know who i am ,

    Can anyone please give me some advice ,please just give me some help me

  • Marcel McGyver

    I wish you the “Best of Luck” in finding ANY light that will hopefully lead you out of your blatant Darkness of a Life right now. I know I am a young adult at the age of 24, but coming from a person who has really bad ADHD and constantly shuts himself out from the outside world, life in general sucks! Nothing lasts forever, nothing!!!!! I have been the nice guy since day one to almost every person that I have ever met and in return I RARELY get that same generosity back. I want to make others happy to the point where I don’t care if I am as long as they are. I have come to the conclusion that it is NEVER MANDATORY to make sure others are HAPPY! Just being a good person and most of all making yourself HAPPY is crucial to not living a life in a place that seems like an abyss. PITCH BLACK. Complaining never seems to do any good in the long run. I have learned that it is much better to just take things how they are and avoid unnecessary altercations with others unless your life is threatened in some way. Other than that I personally don’t see any need to join or create a hostile environment. In conclusion LadyAngler, life is what it is all a person can do is make the best of it. Even if “the best of it” isn’t good or appealing. Good Luck!!!

  • MCM

    Pray that God reveals Himself to you. You have a plan that you are missing out on. No one should answer the questions like you did. You can do great things!

  • Name

    What do you do if you don’t know the answers to any of these questions? I don’t like to bitch because I see so much hurt in the world every day. I truly do try to count my blessings…but I feel like I’m smothering. I have 2 degrees. Each one has driven me further into debt. Maybe the debt wouldn’t be so incredibly crushing if I enjoyed the roles that they led me to, but I don’t. I’ve tried to look for something else. I’ve tried to find my place in the community where I can come home and feel like I’ve done something good. Like I’ve accomplished something for someone or something else. I still haven’t. It’s been more than 10 years and I haven’t. I know many people reading this will think that’s nothing in the scheme of things, but it is to me. And now, it especially is to me since I have such a hard time getting up in the morning. I don’t want my daughter to grow up with a mother who is so pessimistic and so boring that she becomes that way herself. So…I Googled, “What do I really want to do with my life.” Pathetic really, but I’m so lost. I came upon this website. I read each question. I contemplated. I failed. I have no idea. So what do you do if you don’t know the answers to any of these questions? I hope someone can tell me.

  • Stephanie

    I’m 19 and all my life I’ve been the “perfect daughter, niece, granddaughter, sister, friend, person…” and I hate it. I’ve always had the highest grades, I was the top in my class, the best friend anyone could have, the best daughter and sister, the best at almost everything… and because of that all my family and everyone that knows me expects me to achieve everything, be good, be great.. and I hate it. I hate it when people expects so much of me because it creates a pressure over me, like if I fail they will be disappointed. I feel like I’m living my life for them and not for myself. I don’t feel happy with what I’m doing and it all feels forced. Right now I don’t know what to do with my life, I don’t know if the things I’m doing I’m doing them because I want to or because it is what is expected of me… I want to do the things I like but the problem is I don’t even know what I truly like… I feel like I don’t even know myself. I know I’m young and I have time to discover myself but I’m scared… I’m scared because what if I don’t get to know myself soon? What if I keep living my life not knowing me and then when I reach 40 or 50 I realize I had a miserable life? I don’t know what to do with my life and with myself and that scares me…

  • Buzzkill

    what do you when you answer these questions and they are nothing like your life? or are impossible to change your life to fit your answers? what if the question cant be answered?

  • Jake Ringenberg

    dis cool dis cool

  • Jake Ringenberg

    duuuuude keep us updated! don’t continue to live that way!!

  • I’m 27 years old and only this past year have I started to ask myself these questions without even knowing it, reading this article today blew my mind.

  • sαmαnthα

    At 17, I haven’t got a clue what i want. i have a passion for theatre arts and all i want is to see new things, to travel. i’m searching for a peaceful mind but i already feel like my soul’s down in the dumps. so many things that i’d like to change but i’m somehow chained to them. i’ve always been one to choose what i want but that’s all i do, choose. i need to start doing and maybe then… love this post!

  • momoq18

    First for this to work I think you need to get rid of the negativity. Watch you can heal your life by louis hay.

  • momo

    i like it ^_^

  • stephanie

    I have been googling such phrases as “how to start over” “how to change your life” I am so unhappy. I wasn’t always unhappy. I look in the mirror at 46 years old and don’t recognize myself. At 20, At 30 I was gorgeous, not a perfect body but pretty close. After having my son and being a single parent with the challenges that came with that I put on weight (my own fault) I turned to food for comfort and to numb so many things that have happened over the past 15 years. If you told the 18 or 25 or 30 year old me that some day you will weight 250 pounds I would have laughed at you. I need to stop eating! I am so unhappy though and lonely and feel so overwhelmed with the amount of weight I have to lose that I give up. I want to change things around so badly, not just my weight but my attitude towards life, my lack of energy and my overall unhappiness, I want to have energy and happiness and I know that starts from within I just don’t know how to get there. Can anyone relate at all? I guess I am sharing because I would love to connect with and know I’m not alone. Thanks for reading.

  • espemg7

    @happy plants- don’t give up on mary jane. moderation is key to everything in life. take a break from smoking for a couple weeks. thats what I do and the next time I smoke the high is sooo much better. Herb is a beautiful plant -treat it with respect and moderation and it will help you with your stressful thoughts. And it makes living in this crazy consumerism striken world, and afterthought.

    i am much like “lady angler” above (albeit prob not as wealthy). I plan on making my life self sustainable and starting an adverture based company that offers products to people to better that will better their lives and enable them be less reliant on the carbon producing manufacturers/big corporations that have ruined ALL of our mindsets. Our overall wellbeing as humans should not be dictated to us by supervisors or managers. Start your own business – even if you have to keep your day job. I hope to have you on my farm someday! Good luck to everyone!

  • espemg7

    @stuartpetty – I am from the debt stricken good ol USA. I want to move to Spain too for the similar reasons you mentioned. I am left with little after my paycheck gets redirected to BILLS !! arrggg. Would it not be great if all of us who felt this way could unite globally and create our own communities with our own grown food and have our own businesses to to proud to be part of?!?! Just know Stuart that you are not alone in your thoughts – stay strong man!

  • espemg7

    have you tried marijuana?

  • espemg7

    @stephanie-try to focus on how much of a hot ass you were in the past. remember the times when your sex life was so damn good. forget exercise for now..that will come. really try moderation with your food. I skip the traditional breakfast and lunch and snack several times a day to keep my motor running. breakfast for me is a banana and ceral bar but not til about 9 or 10am. around lunch i might snack on nuts or another fruit but I avoid eating the bigger lunches (aka subway crap etc). maybe around 3 I snack on something else. My big meal is dinner (which isn’t big but way more than what I ate all day) trust me you will feel hunger pains BUT unfortunately that is what is needed to burn the excess fat in your body. I have lost about 75 lbs and am now at about 200. I am a male but but trust me each day when I looked in the mirror and every day I got on the scale I would see 1lb or 2lb’s drop. Circling back to my first comment about recalling your tight ass and smoking body – that will keep your “drive” going. Personality is everything no matter how much you weigh. good luck sweetie.

  • Someone

    I’m 20 years old and I’m in my 3rd year of college in the biology field. To be quite honest, I’m miserable. But other than study, I don’t know what I really want to do with my life.

  • stuartpetty

    Hello espemg7, maybe its not so much of a struggle in life but a struggle with myself ;/

    Thats a great idea espemg7 ) I feel you man..

    Free love and lots of mushrooms. LOL Not Quite Haha..

    I could make a new start with some more commitment. saving and planning could be a key figure. a good long look in the mirror….i have to learn how to get what i want from my life. no more wasting money and a healthier lifestyle are all thing i recently took into account, i have been training home and the gym now a month. after a broken ankle and 2 months on the sofa i really needed it, i started to like it and like myself also, dropped beer and caffeine started on water by the daily recommended amount. Im annoyed at the baks ,economy and conglomerate companies, keeping hard working honest people in the same classes with criminals for a few small mistakes !!

    Im English originally and ended up staying in Finland for a woman, My parents are loving but not helpful finically as they don’t really have the dough, and i wasn’t the greatest child. occasional slip ups with the law, petty crimes… bullied at school, well with this name.. did 4.5 years as a chef in the British Army. I work as a chef still but as a head chef for good money by the industry standards. i want my own business and my own restaurant but just cant seem to grip the capital or any investors . Spain would be easier than Finland to start up but anyway i need 20,000 get go money… or just pack my bag and piss off to the beach and eat the fruits that just grow everywhere in this paradise….

  • cyndi

    Ladyangler my hubsand is going through the same thing (and lets be honest me too) every morning before he goes to work he throws up. He has been doing this since he started working there 4 years ago. I have tried everything to help him but I am failing. I thought he was the only one that did that. I wish I could help him but he’s so darn stubborn and he just thinks it’s over. I have to share this article with him and hope it helps. Might even buy the book and see if he will read it (probably not) good luck to you and may you find the peace and happiness you deserve

  • Liz

    Did anyone respond to your post ? I read your post, and I am exactly in the same position you are in … but worse since I will be 50 this year and I still struggle with these questions that I really can’t answer. At this point I am terribly afraid of coming to the end of my life and never feeling like I have made any contribution , or been of service to the world . Since I have no children of my own ( I do have an amazing 16 year old step son), I have even more regrets ,because I feel that raising kids to become good, kind ,loving , caring people is a great contribution to the world.
    I have lots of interests and passions, but I don’t know how to make the first move into something different. All I really know is that I need to make a change !!!

  • brina

    Im 19… Doing nothing meaningful, I know I’m young but it needs to happen now. Something fulfilling my life. I feel I need to be in Asia or Japan, anywhere, as an avid learner. I could have all this potential.i can’t find the motivation to keep up with it or the first step or people to meet to motivate me and feel them on a personal level.. Reading this is helping the push.. I guess I want it easy, someone to tell me this is what you can do to be happy. Go here, do this, try this, and take it from there.

  • Dewet

    im currently in a path which did not work out for me, i worked my ass off and did not succeed, it was like my whole life plan fell apart, im currently on the verge of taking the road left or right? but what if its neither? i guess i dont know myself, well life is a journey for me, maybe to much of a journey, how did i lose myself and where do i look for myself, do i pick up the pieces or do i adapt to change? thoughts?

  • Dewet

    im also constantly being told what to do, i just dont know whats right for me, although we all dont know where we might be over the next 5-10 years , id still like to have a plan, i know sound messed up, well atleast i admit im messed up, and i couldnt give a damn abou society and what everyone thinks…

  • Martin257

    Did I get depression because i was unhappy studying IT in university. I finished it but I couldn’t focus to do the work and the result showed that. Now what, i am taking flying lessons and doing a skydive but i want a good job short term. Do i still try to get a job in IT or am i out of luck in this field. My greatest fear is that my dream lifestyle cannot be attained and i will spend eternity unhappy and unfulfilled. I would like to write, be a pilot, historian and astronomer. Oh and do adventurous activities such as sky diving in my spare time. Let’s just think; did i leave anything out? Now it is obvious that IT is boring and has no place in ideal scenario. So now what? I feel like i am at a crossroads and feel like a failure with no way out. I cannot take action on these questions because I am scared of failure and humiliating myself again.

  • Amanda

    I at my wits end! I have a father who drains me emotionally! I’m in a job I hate (working with my parents) a single mum with three kids. My kids ar amazing and im so proud but I feel lost. I feel in 8 years time when they will all be adults I will have nothing. No partner no career no future! I have no idea where to start

  • Ms.Giggles

    I was un-happily working in the corporate world and then decided that I wanted to do what I love. So I quit my job and began traveling around and street performing(singing). Now I am stuck 2,000 miles away from friends and family, broke, alone, frustrated and super stressed. I’ve been “following my dream” for almost 3 months now, and I feel depressed now. What would I do if I had a billion dollars after traveling and buying houses? Nothing. I have lots of things I love to do, like singing, but I don’t want to HAVE to do them. Any advice? I’m not lazy, I just really don’t want to do the things I love for money. It makes me not like doing them anymore.

  • David

    I like to make money but have no money what am I to do

  • Calle

    If you are fortunate enough to have a job even a soul sucking hateful one keep it and shut up. I made the mistake of speaking up about things that were wrong and how they could be done better. It cost me my job. Now I can’t support my family or even afford to be alive. Things can only get worse by thinking you deserve more. Learn from my mistake keep your head down and get to work.

  • babylaughter

    Thanks! Answering the questions was very helpful! I questioned if making the daily sacrifices I make is worth it. When I answered the question about “If I had a billion dollars…” I realized the risks and sacrifices are worth it because it’s what I feel passionately enough about that I wouldn’t quit even if I won a billion dollars.

  • rah

    I answered the questions on this post. The life i want to live though seems like a dream, i wish to travel the world and meet people and help others. However, i have no idea how to take the first steps to acheiving that. Luckily im 19 and still have time to figure myself out, but like others im stuck with no idea of what i want to do. Im pretty antisocial as well, and i cant figure out why it seems like nothing goes my way. My cousin is a workaholic because he aspires the same things as me and works his ass off now so that whens hes 30-35 he’ll have his wealth and energy to have the freedom to do what he likes and inspire change. The difference between me and him though is that i lack the drive, the motivation, it all seems too hard, stressful, and i guess in some ways im afraid to move out into the world. i have the time and ability to make changes in my life yet i cant seem to pull myself together to do so. i just smoke weed most of the day to get through, but im starting to realize im getting nowhere. The posts on this page have really opened my eyes to the fact that im not alone here, and you have all given me something to think about. If there was anyone im my situation howd you start that first step?

  • Harmony

    I really like your post. I am the same age and I was laid off from work a year ago. Struggling to decide what I need to do with my life.Not short term but long term. You have a positive attitude and I know you will make it. You were strong/smart enough to get where you are today. You will be able to simplify your life.

  • Jelger & Tanja

    This post made me feel happy! 🙂 We are living the dream: left our jobs as lawyer and physio, moved to the other side of the world and became wedding photographers. Once you start, the ball starts to roll faster and faster and before you know it, you’re a different person. 🙂

  • Great article James, A lot of simple questions but it took me over 3 hours to answer each of them in honest detail. I found this article because I was actually looking for an article or video on how to find your true purpose in life. I don’t know why people are getting really upset or frustrated about there jobs when in reality their are people way less fortunate that would love a job but they either have some kind of disability or they lack the skills and education to get a job. Look for something that you do like about your job just as somebody already mentioned below. The key to happiness in life is gratitude and appreciation for what you already have, that way it will make it easier to achieve so much more in life.

    Anyway, I found the 4th and 5th question quite challenging to answer but I answered each one as honest and exactly how I felt. I came up with a few answers that I feel came straight from the heart instead of what I taught might be the kind of lifestyle than most people wold love. If your not sure about what your passionate about, what inspires you,what you would do for free because it makes you feel alive inside when your do it, ask yourself what movies you enjoy and why? What music your enjoy and why? Do you have a role model if so what do you admire about them? What do you think about often, or hobbiy or interest you like to engage in often? Whatever it is digg a little deeper into your personality and you will learn so much about who you are.

    If anybody has ever read success principles by Jack Canfield. in his book he makes it easy to discover how to achieve your goals – Big or Small and finding your true purpose in life.

    Anyway wishing everyone the best of luck!

  • Michael

    As great as these questions are, I still feel as though I’d lose the drive to do better down the line. I may only be 21 but I’ve had my share of bad luck. I was never really noticed in High School. Nor was I really noticed in the grades prior so I’ve always felt some what invisible. I barely graduated when I was through because I always tried socializing with fellow classmates more than focusing on my life ahead. Due to this I failed my first semester of college because I’m so lost. I’m paying back the money I used for the semester and working in a job where I just deal with people who are unhappy with their lives. I’m afraid to fail again. I want to better because deep down somewhere I know I CAN do better but I just get pulled back down. I love learning. I love making others feel good. I love music. I love Nature. I love too many things to pinpoint what I want to do fo the rest of my life. I’m sick of being in the category of people that are lost. I honestly feel like I shouldn’t be here in the first place. What do I do in a situation like this? What steps do I take? My family just pats me on the back and says “Don’t worry you’re not the only one in the world that’s going through this” but that isn’t guidance. I’ll treat these questions like they’re the bible if I have to. Are these really enough?

  • David

    If my answer to all of those question is nothing, or I would give it away or nothing again……should I reach the afterlife

  • Bebas


    I am doing a job in Hospitality industry (Sales) from last 2years, but form last few months i don’t have any work to do in the office. i am so much dipressed, nothing is going good in my life. My collegues has so much work to do i am the only one in my office who is totally free…. My boss is taunting me what are you doing, you have nothing to do. Please help me how can i get out from this situation

  • anu

    i did answered to all 6 questions ..but i am not getting to what exactly i want to do ahead .. in life .. eventhough am happy & content with present .. but feel like lacking a goal ?.this makes me anxious or worrying especially on weekends…

  • Sadgirl

    I love this article, thank you so much! I have answered the questions, now what? I was following my passion until I went to University. I am enrolled in my passion but since starting University I do nothing but cry from sadness, grief, disillusionment, fatigue, stress, painful comments from “art” teachers (man they are mean! Art can be so snobby)…it’s not photography that’s made me feel crap, it’s being at Uni. What’s the next step, apart from realizing how desperate unhappy and depressed I feel? I love photography so I don’t even know what it is about Uni that makes me feel like I want to quit. All I do is cry. But how can that be when I am studying my passion? I really don’t understand what’s going on.

  • hey

    I’m 20, and all my answers to these are about celebrities and movies and pop culture in general, which I find sad…great, I’m depressed now! I have nothing!!!

  • Gully

    This is indeed inspiring. Thank you so much.. you inspired me and im from Iraq.

    Best of luck to everyone 🙂

  • ace

    What an awesome business idea

  • Guest2

    I`m in a very similar situation….totally lost and unable to find answers to the questions asked in this post. I got my degree, have worked in highly regarded positions in companies throughout the world but none of it is making me happy. I recently quit my job because it was causing me to become so depressed. Leaving helped a little but I still have no idea what direction to take now. I don`t want to return to a similar role again but financial situation may force me to if I don`t find an alternative soon. I feel like I have lost all the drive and motivation I once had. Working in the corporate world seems to have knocked any self-esteem I may have had out of me. Pleading to anyone who has the answers to give me advice on a way out of this misery.

  • Guest

    Sadgirl, that sounds like such a similar experience to what I had in art school. I loved art my entire life, had the *worst* experience in art school, and came out the other end HATING art. (It sounds like you still love photography, though, so you’re better off than I was.) Anyway, long story short, my biggest regret in life was that I didn’t quit. I am still paying the consequences 5 years after graduating…shattered confidence, PTSD…it’s bad.

    My advice: seriously, seriously consider a different way. You can still achieve the same goal thru a different path, whether that be a different school w/more supportive faculty, taking online classes to develop your portfolio, etc. There are ways to learn art in a constructive way, not a destructive way… (Why don’t these teachers realize they are not helping when they are so harsh with people who are just learning?)

    If it is truly as painful for you as it was for me, consider taking a break to figure out a healthier way to go about this, and consider that you might actually be suffering from depression and not know it (I was, after all the unbearable stress and horrible comments.) See a counselor (a career counselor AND a mental health professional to see if you’re depressed), get another perspective. If that counselor doesn’t help, find another. Keep searching. Don’t do what I did and push through the pain. It did NOT pay off in the end. It made things so much worse. Good luck…I hope you find a happy solution!

  • NewDreamer

    I cant believe I have only just found this post! I’m 36 and have never felt happy with my life. The article above by James has made me think much more in the correct direction. The last time I was truly happy with my existence was back when I was 23. I had just left university and was in my dream job. However, an illness took my dream away and I left that career having only spent 1 year doing it. I now live a life I never dreamt I would have and have felt wrong doing so now every since. If I had only not been afraid of what others thought of me during my youth then I would have now been at the top of my game, living the life I dreamt of all those years ago. Today is a new day for me, I want my eyes wide open and do feel more positive in finding what I truly deserve. Good luck to everyone who reads and participates in this blog. I never believed there were others feeling like me until I read all your posts today ….

  • Aphrodite

    Thank you. x

  • Bad Habits

    These questions really did bring out many answers that I have been seeking for a year already. My story is not much and Im only 16 but I made poor decisions all over for the past year. until recently, when I got sick of it all. I had a great life and was a smart kid when I was 14 but as I became 15 I met some new friends. Not knowing they would influence me into trying drugs. well it was more of a cigarette but I loved the feeling so I moved onto weed. I became a chronic stoner and started doing drugs like cocaine and acid. sometimes doing multiple drugs at the same time. I didn’t notice that I became oblivious to almost everything happening around me in reality. I lost almost all my friends and the trust of my family. Almost everyone I know hates me because I did drugs and my school grades are a mess. I feel depression everyday and only have one happy day like once a week, I kept it to myself because I knew it was my fault. I lost a lot of the money I have earned working over summer to destroying my own health and I feel like my mind will never work the same way it use to. I basically lost all the things that made me happy because I wasn’t true to myself when I made the choices. I wanted to be cool but in the end I was the fool. As I was saying, I got sick of it all and started forcing myself to change and it slowly is working. I would like to thank you for posting this because this did influence my change in a greater way. It actually helped me clarify what I really want and the things I dont need. Thanks again! 🙂 Oh and if there is anyone who took the time to read this; There is always a chance for change, If you truly desire it and put work into it. You can achieve change. Please dont give up like i did during the worst year of my life so far lol..

  • stuck in life

    sorry LadyAngler but i think you should appreciate more what you actually have. I understand your situation but you at least HAVE a great job and a fancy car and you need not worry all the time about money. I don’t have this, though i’ve worked my ass off as much as anybody else in life. I don’t have a family, I don’t have a great career, I have huge stresses daily regarding money and I don’t feel any love neither for myself nor for others. The truth is that the hardest thing in life is finding your path – what you really want to do. I’ve never been able to decide, and if you don’t decide, years slip by and nothing happens eventually. Start focusing on what you have instead of what you don’t have, that might help a bit.I understand you feel overwhelmed and sorry for yourself, i feel too, but complaining will not help eventually, you need to refocus. Besides, in the end we all die anyway, so better make something out of this, right?

  • Monte Kombi

    Still didn’t help me. I should have guessed what 6 things you were going to list and written them before I read them.

  • Monte Kombi

    I was doing and finished two degress in science and engineering, then went travelling for two years because I knew I didnt want that corporate career path or even taste it, I had already tasted it with the Uni grooming and my private school grooming. After two years of driving around the country meeting people I still didn’t find what I was looking for you know why? Because the people in any area you want to go into are all brainwashed into that same corporate system, its impossible to move without it being over you but you either move inside it or it rolls over you in the poverty class and being amongst the poverty class was depressing.
    So then I went and did a masters in business systems and started thinking of ways to start companies on a shoe-lace. Then I was being hit by bureaucracies the same. So then I got on a MTB and rode up Cape York, Australia for two months alone all the way to the most northern tip and took a photo of my unhappy face in front of the sign that says, “This is the most northern point of Australia”, and still I couldn’t find what I was looking for.
    I never found happiness until I finally one day fell in love with a woman and was waking up every night with her in my arms. And then she left me. So I knew happiness, that feeling, for about 1 month where I felt safe and then found out she was having an affair the whole time and that everything had been in my mind.
    So then I realised everything IS in my mind, even my ability to be happy.
    Fact is I will never be happy. One day I will just be dying and think, “What a crap life that was and life is.”

  • Victoria

    I’m glad I’m not alone. I’m 23, i haven’t been to University and i don’t have any degrees under my belt. I finished High School with the intent of taking a ‘gap year’, well that year soon turned into 5 years.

    I worked in a Jewellery store and worked my way up some what and for the most part enjoyed my job. Retail isn’t the best industry in terms of pay, and hours, but It has it’s good points. I loved the fact that while my friends were studying and stressing about Uni and assignments i could go home after work, switch off and do nothing if i felt inclined. I never felt like i was missing out…until now. Now all my friends have graduated and have degrees and jobs which sound amazing. It’s all i read about on Facebook and it makes me feel worse about myself.

    I have no idea what i want to do with my life. I don’t have any hobbies, or amazing talents. There are things i like doing, a few things I’m ‘not bad’ at. But nothing that stands out.

    I’m now married and have moved half way round the world from my friends and family and i am living in Dubai because of my Husbands job. We have been here for 8 months now, and i have done NOTHING. Nothing but sit and watch movies, do housework, cook dinner and feel frustrated and useless. I feel like people are judging me. I feel like deep down my husband thinks I’m just lazy. I have no drive, no motivation. No confidence.

    I pray that God will help give me the courage to just try…

  • Kevin Hanson

    hey hope you feel better crying , some times it really help and the only door to release your self when no one else seems to care are understand your pain.
    i have always felt like am trap in jobs but i am a musician in the heart and its like a drugs i have 9 skills and cant stick to any of them to make it worst my wife and kids are all canadian and they want me to apply for residents wish i dont want so i cant see my family unless i fly them out of canada .. wich is my wife and four kids to the caymans or jamaica wich is very expensive. so every time i make money i spend it all on them just to see them for a while. i want to kill my self and i dream of takin my life in the worst cnn sytle death and take enouph people with me so some one would feel my pain in death as no one care to listen when your a live .. i have never commit a crime in my life and have no bad record are ever bin arrested ore any thing all i do is help and treat people and kids like i treat mine except know i am in a situation to kill or be kill i don,t know my father i am doing every thing possible to give my kids the live every kids deserve and its hard to watch your kids slowly dying while the people who hold you back have no remorse to you and your family survive

    am trying to make sence of it all but if we are putting up borders and talking care of our self only, why even live why not just build the whole world so every person have the same freewill if i was born in a different country and even hurt a few people or kill rob drugs i would still have more freedom than a person who live a clean life and still have none i cant live like this how to end this i need help…. thanks for reading

  • Melissa

    Kevin, don’t give up! And most definitely DO NOT KILL YOURSELF OR ANYONE ELSE! If that is how you are feeling inside, find help and find it fast! Please!!! There are people that can help you solve your problems…work it out, talk it out…whatever needs to be done, but don’t waste something so valuable as your life! For it does have value…to those who love you, to the strangers you will help but have not met yet, and to God. Yes…God. He does love you Kevin and He knows you and He knows your needs. Ask Him for help and then ask others. Speak up…talk…don’t keep it all inside. Someone may have an answer that you don’t have.
    What you have to decide is what is most important for you. Is it so important that you remain a citizen of the islands that you live in or is it more important that you are with your wife and children? I know what it is like to be separated from the ones you love. My first husband was from another country and it took us a year to get his resident visa to come to the US. We were separated for 8 months. At times, it was so painful that I did want to die. But it passed…and we were finally together.
    Believe it or not, Kevin, you just helped ME! Last night I sat here thinking that my life held little value as I watched the same cycle of circumstances happen over and over and over again in my life. Poverty and loneliness has been my life for a very long time and I saw nothing ever changing.
    Then I googled “change your life” and ran across this post. Reading your post and telling you not to give up is in some ways, like talking to myself. I’m giving myself the same pep talk.
    Just had an idea…write about your life and your pain in music, Kevin.
    Write and play/sing it for others. Find hope and share that hope with others. You never know what you will do, whom you will inspire. Maybe you already have, but don’t give up…never EVER give up. Just remember this: killing yourself is like an orchestra quitting at intermission. You never know what amazing melodies the next half of your life will bring. Peace to you…

  • Melissa

    Thank you for this post. I am 42 and last night I sat in tears as I saw the hopelessness of my life. There have been so many moments that I honestly thought that death would be better. I have been in a cycle of poverty, depression and loneliness for so long, i just didn’t know how to break out of it! I have moved 5 times this year and held at least 2 different jobs. Tomorrow I start another temporary position that I know I will despise. Yet, I do it to pay the bills. I have dreams, but I don’t fulfill them. Why? I don’t know. But I know this, your six questions gave me a great deal to think about. In fact, though I haven’t made all my lists yet nor answered all of those questions, by doing so, I think I will finally be able to pin down why I’ve been absolutely miserable for years on end. Thank you so much for this inspired post! I think you just gave me the motivation to do what I’ve been dreaming to do for so long. THANK YOU!

  • marc

    i have always been true and i have not been successful but it has been worth it

  • Kevin Hanson

    thank you for that i finally decide that my family are not going back to canada to live for a long time. i invest in this country and this is were i belong i would acept the canadian residents but i cant spend the require time in canada to keep the resident and if i lost it its very very hard to get it back.
    i have a good head i think i always make money with little money email me i may can teach you a few .. .. and dont worry i only do legal stuff %100 am one of those people that believe in morals over every thing .. but today am feeling a lot better and making all

    conection to push forward this new year as starting point in my life but when your geting to 40 year of age .. its realy boble youre soul ..

  • wrobella

    hello, im a 21 year old college student. Im very very stuck on choosing my career path but This helped me so much!! im still indecisive about what i want to do but i feel like im getting closer. thank you so much for these very enlightening questions!

  • Joel

    After reading a few of the other posts i’m feeling good just having people actually concerned for one another because we are all in the same boat. what to do in life..

    You don’t know me and i doubt my words are worth anyone’s time, but it’s worth my time to express to whoever it concerns a possible solution to your troubles, i’m still on the verge of “Finding Myself” and i know many of you are too, so please allow me 3 minutes of your life and read what i have to say. 🙂

    What do i want to do with my life isn’t the right question!!! after all you can’t do one thing for your whole life no matter how much you love it. But you can get excited to go out and do it everytime youre not doing it, and everytime you’re finished you should have that feeling of “i want more”! you crave that thing, and that is how you find your passion! —(If you have trouble finding that passion NO SWEAT 🙂 you have the rest of your life to figure out what your passion is then do it for the rest of your existence!)

    The real stunner here is what do we do so that our lives are happy, fulfilling, and exciting? what excites you when you think of the word Exciting? for me its looking over a mountain cliff standing beside a waterfall looking down 1000 feet to the misty valley below. Maybe i want to be a squirrel suit diver 🙂

    Think of an image in your mind that’s always comforted you or that comes to mind when you think positive and happy, something beautiful, untouched and unscarred serenity (I just pictured the fountain of youth from Pirates of the Caribbean after the word serenity).

    anyways the rest is up to you, i wish everyone a very happy and peaceful journey towards your meaning of life! Much love ~

  • Melissa

    Kevin, I’m so glad to read your response. I have thought about your comment several times and I’m so glad that you have made such a wise decision! Yes, I would be happy to hear more about what you do to make money. I will send you an email.

  • Melissa

    Stephanie, i don’t know if you will read this, but I hope that you will run across this comment at some point. I am 42 and have been up and down in my weight, as well. And I mean, I have been as low as 150 and as high as 260. Just a couple of years ago, I finally just learned to accept myself for who I am. Stop beating yourself up because you gained weight! Guess what? In our society, it’s almost impossible NOT to gain weight. Portions are too big, we drive cars everywhere instead of walking, and our food actually has chemicals in it that will cause you to crave more so you will buy more. Then you are told non-stop that you aren’t acceptable the way you are so you will go spend money on diets to lose weight! It’s called CORPORATE GREED! And guess what, many people literally do just have better metabolisms than others and no matter how much you exercise, that’s not going to change. Learn to love the body you are in and see how beautiful your curves are! You are beautiful NOW! Not 10, 20 or 50 pounds from now, but NOW!
    Second, if you want to lose weight for health reasons, then yes, by all means, do that! And if you want some nutritional points, try eating your big meal for the day at lunchtime. NOT in the evening. It is SO much better for our digestion to eat the biggest meal in the middle of the day. Espemg7 has a point when he says to try and snack on different foods throughout the day. That’s even better than one big meal. But you DO NOT have to starve yourself at all! Fill up on fruits and vegetables. And don’t deny yourself everything all the time. If you do that, you will binge creating a much worse situation than before. You will need to exercise to gain more energy, but that can be a 30 minute walk a day. Anyway, those are just a few tips that I have found to help me. I wish you the best Stephanie! Take care!

  • luckybear

    i was have such a tough time deciding what to do for uni, on one side my heart is set on a course but on the other side its not a practical subject.
    I’ve read so many books, i’ve read so many articles and even asked everyone I know to the point where no one is willing to even listen to me any more. I though i’d be lost and just do ‘ip dip do’ until I came across your blog, and it helped me realize I don’t need that much money to get where i want in fact too much money will just get in my way. I think i will go for it and see where it takes me, hopefully it’ll turn out fulfilling enough for me. so what i want to say is i am incredibly thankful for your blog it may well have helped me make my final decision.

  • Mike

    What’s difficult for me is that answering these questions only deepens my conviction that I have no goals/ambitions in life, and want to do nothing. For example, what would I do if I had a billion dollars? Absolutely nothing – I wouldn’t volunteer, I wouldn’t work part time, I wouldn’t teach philosophy or music or design buildings. I would sleep in, go to the gym to stay in shape, hang out with friends/family, watch movies, surf the net, play guitar (alone in my room – I have no interest in being in a band but I really like playing guitar by myself), etc. Unfortunately none of that helps me figure out what I should do with my life. There isn’t a single career I have ever been interested in, or ever will be. These exercises might be helpful for some people, but people like me are truly beyond help. Some people actually want to do nothing with their lives. The ONLY thing I want is to not have to work, and be able to do whatever I want, whenever I want. Nothing else appeals to me in the slightest, and it never will.

  • TheSaint

    James McWhinney, amazing article,I really appreciate it but….. what if the questions are too difficult to answer? What if like me we are so confused to not have an answer to this questions.

  • Andrea C.

    Try discovering who you really want to be and find your passions. Non what society expects from you but what you really feel. Follow your heart.

  • Andrea C.

    Feel the same very often. Until I discovered that you must give honest answers to yourself. What brings you peace? What fulfills you? What makes you really happy? There must be something. Everyone has that something inside. And that, you must find out.

  • Andrea C.

    Love your response 🙂

  • Moses

    I felt this way at 25. I didn’t see a light at the end of the tunnel at
    my job so I decided to start making money online and through a network marketing business. Hope you find your way.

  • KMI

    LadyAngler , The true existence is within you…..quieten your mind, listen to your heart carefully, and your soul will guide you…

  • guest

    sell everything move to the keys buy a flatboat and get your guide license and captains permit…. fly fishing clients pay $550.00 a day to fish the flats and a 200 day a year work schedule is average…. the sun the water the people and fishing isnt work its just fantastic!

  • gdaym8

    I feel the same way.

  • Sambo

    Grow up, you sound like the most fortunate person in the world, with a good job, good money and able to provide for your family, Stop looking at the negatives and enjoy your time with your son and time off. So you have to deal with a bit of shit at work, even if your some free agent artist you would still have problems then this post would by crying about them. Change your attitude not your life….

  • k.sue

    It’s nearing midnight of the Jan 1 of the new year and here i am. I cldn’t go through another year of the same dysfunctional grind that is the norm in our society. It’s a mess…watch American Addict on netflix, or fat, sick, and nearly dead. I jst witnessed the living conditions of the animals we depend on for food, it’s a scene straight out of hell. Our country has turned into a monster corporation fueled only by profit and at the cost of our health and there is no shame in the lengths gone to for profit…the new god. So then top this off with the same issues everyone else on here are repeating because it has jst become miserable and well, here I am. Watch the TED talks on education. The info is out there folks, things are not being done with our benefit in mind, it’s nothing more than a need for a body to feed the corporations profits. If i sound like one of THOSE ppl that r preaching, trust me, it’s frm the utter shock of what i’ve jst begun to learn. Ok so on top of all this,, i’m dealing with an alcoholic husband. i’m jst lost as to what to do. it’s jst an unending cycle of a few steps forward and a conveyor ride back. i’m trying to figure out what and how to do what i need to do to live the life i want without breaking up a family. I figure after this exercise, i will figure out a few things but this particular part of my life has been set in stone for the past 15yrs. I tried a split but my poor kids took it so horribly. anyway, i jst need some counseling because i’m at a loss. it’s late and i’m rambling. any advice is welcome, i tend to keep this to myself, no outlet as u can probably tell. it all begins with a first step though and that’s why i’m here.

  • vamanij tremblendab

    It sounds to me that you have already woken up. Congratulations! The things you talk about – nature, animals, outdoors, simple living, helping others [most importantly] are all things that all humans should be embracing.
    We have lost our way as a species and have replaced many of the basic human fundamentals with greedy and toxic ways of life, such as acquisition.
    We are slowly waking up, and the more people that get there, the closer we come to enlightenment. I am so happy for you and I would say that I wish you luck, but now that you are awake I do not think that you will be needing that.
    I will say have a great journey! 🙂

  • Sahil

    Thanks James. It is indeed a very good read.
    I am thinking to ask myself these questions once in a week , as these are the questions that can bring out true me . From the past many years what i am doing is i am wasting my life , thinking about the things that actually does not make sense . But i did not knew what to do about my unconscious mind. Today i really understood the meaning of “A person can change his life by merely changing his attitude”.

    @Friends : Since my childhood i take tensions about little things . I have high dreams in life but these tensions slowly kills my happiness.Till my college i have done nothing significant but worrying . Suddenly my life changed when i get into Job. I interact with people, help them. But even now i felt lonely sometimes .To be very true from deep inside i do want to live a tension free life and achieve happiness but it is my unconscious brain that makes me sad sometime . But from today onwards i will not take tensions and live life happily and peacefully

  • thaniii…

    i love music ,,, but now im 24 and i never learnt music, i want to be very famous but i have’nt done anything to be . now i think its too late to learn anything in music field,, i used to sing in my college n school… now i m myself confused what to do.

  • Chris

    Hey mate
    I am in exactly the same situation as you. I have had real bad anxiety for the past 5 years and it is just crippling. I started freelancing as a web designer and emailed some local business’, but when they called I was too anxious to answer the phone! Ridiculous I know, but that’s how bad it is. I spent this Christmas and last Christmas alone. I live by myself and I just told my family I was speeding it with a friend.
    On top of that i feel lost, like you. It is terrifying when I think about how fast the past 5 years have gone. The prime years of my life are just passing me by.
    Is this now the most depressing post ever lol
    Anyway, it would be nice to connect with you via email if you want? Maybe we can come up with something to fix our situation if we work it out together.
    My email is

  • Sheeba

    …All right. Now what do I DO with this information.
    Recalling childhood dreams is nice and all, but I live in the ‘real’ world.
    The one where people have to eat and need shelter from the cold. -_-;

  • JEC

    Thanx for your post James. Im in a stage in my life right now where im asking myself what do i want to do for the rest of my life? Because my philosophy is that, i didnt come here just to go to College Or University, get a degree, get married, have kids, get old and waiting for death to come, and the kids are repeating the same things as me again, like society wants it to be. I think theres more to this life, we all incarnated on this Earth for something, to accomplish a mission, we all have a purpose, a reason of being here, we all came here to create a product, or service for the evolution of humanity, But the question remains HOW do we find it?, how do we know our purpose? I wish i could have the answers, but so far, im only seeing tiny parts of it, but im trying to structure it in this society. People its not easy, Pray that Whoever created our souls, enligthens up, so we could be in peace and happy with our lifes JEC

  • Jenni Jenni

    I am 27. So far in life I have failed everything I have attempted to do. With now two failed marriages and nno real direction I’m completely lost. I love art and cooking but find working for others runs me dry. I don’t know where to go from here. Good luck

  • Rogue86

    After reading this i realized my true love and passion is in dance. its always been all my life and people always complement me on my dancing when im at clubs. I can truly say its my #1 love and passion and at 27 i just felt so lost and confused as to where my life was going. I felt that i needed to get a job somehow to make money like everyone around me but everyones just miserable because there working in things they dont really love to do and i was just lost and wanted something better in life something more fulfilling and worth living for and ive realized my true love was always in me. im so excited this year i actually have a good idea where im heading in life :))

  • wayne sweeting

    im 22 years old and have not a clue what to do in life….im so confused and lost that at the ages of 17-20 i made alot of mistakes got into college and still have no clue what im doing… i dont really know who to talk to or what to do anymore… if anyone has advice i would love to hear it my cell is 315-263-2574 my names wayne and honetly i have tried so hard and now im just at a point of just feeling like i dont know what im doing anymore

  • Hi Wayne,

    I’m sorry to hear you’ve been feeling confused. I don’t know if this helps at all, but this is really common for someone your age. It’s hard to know what you want to do when you haven’t yet had a lot of post-school experience. And sometimes it takes time and trial and error to feel a sense of confidence in your purpose and direction.

    I felt the same way in my early twenties. In fact, it wasn’t until I was 27 that I felt a solid sense of what I wanted to do. I used to think I was “wasting time” until I figured it out, but then I realized that all that time I was doing what I needed to do to figure it out. It was all a valuable and necessary part of the journey, even if I felt frustrated and lost at times, and even if I felt I’d made a lot of mistakes.

    If you’d like to get advice from other community members, you may want to post this in the Tiny Buddha forums, where more people will see it.

    It’s free to join here:

    Then you can access the forums here:

    I hope this helps!


  • gilbert

    Im 31 years old, throw out my years I been In and out of jobs where I have been used and backstab from low paying jobs. I never went to collage I only finish high school, I have no kind of income I my life n stuck with my self trying to figure out of whom and wgat I am in this point in life. Im with someone for five years whom cares about me and been helping me complash my goals and reach out to them. I cry because I cant understand where in my point or what direction I am heading. But there things where I am good at as far as writing, drewing, designing. I just dont like the direction where I am going for myself and just wanted to use my good talent into a good use and not let it get into a waste. I just dont know how are where to start from.

  • Azure

    Hi Victoria, I don’t know if you’ll get this reply, but I just wanted to say that I see a lot of potential in your situation. You have no friends/family nearby and your husband is at work all day. What better time to get online and start educating yourself in whatever field you choose. There are so many online courses and/or tutorials nowadays…even if you are not working toward an actual degree, you can educate yourself so you simply have the knowledge.

    For example, if you wanted to start a line of jewelry, you could learn about that, research how to start your own business, and learn how to create a website. (Just as an example.) I don’t know about selling your wares from Dubai (only because I am not familiar with Dubai and the market there), but cross that bridge when you come to it. If this venture fails, then so what, you’ve learned so much in the process that you can put towards your next venture.

    Or if you want to go a more traditional route, there are actual university degrees you can earn online. Google until you find something that suits your needs.

    Whatever you choose, just work at it and work at it until you become a stand-out in your field. People make a living from doing calligraphy, a photographer that specializes in taking pics of children, or being a tailor, or a personal shopper…all kinds of random stuff. And it sounds like you and your husband don’t *need* your income, which is a mega-bonus to take the pressure off.

    Practice and persistence is more important than talent. You can do it!

  • Azure

    Life has its ups and downs. It’s forever changing, and I believe it is impossible to stay in a “down” for the next 70 years if you keep trying to find something that resonates with you. Don’t give up…you won’t regret it, and someday all of this will be a distant memory.

  • p

    a world without borders. everything you can if you want. for me, it’s a lie. I feel that I have the chains on my neck. I have 30 years I am a wise person, I finished a course on business coach, I can think independently, I have my own opinion, this year was born my wonderful son.(we had fight for our child 6 years). If only I was born in the United States.. My life will be diffrent.. Heart in tears to the action, a lot of dreams and desires too much awareness that people live differently, better, they smile to each other on the streets they are happy that the world is so beautiful that there are wonderful places and beautiful nature and that I never see because normally I can not afford. Heart cries that the same fate awaits my son! so much I’d like to show him the world. Nobody wants to help me. I want work and get from it honest money, I can clean up and do anything as long as escape from here. world without borders does not exist. There is no hope. Here is the great wall. And the internet just sticks a knife in the heart by showing some candy but not allowing it to eat.

    I have lost hope.

    If you can help me please write

  • Lost And Confused

    Hello all and thank you for this post James!

    Without playing the violin (I take responsibility for me and my choices) I am genuinely lost and confused and have been a while, I was just great at covering it up in my many jobs and relationships. I have been called bipolar, ENFP, the one year wonder (different relationship & job every year) and variations of, by many who love me over the years. My stepmum says I am like Spike Milligan “brilliant yet troubled” – which made me happy to hear as he was a hero of mine, but sad as he battled depression and mental health issues which are a reality of mine also, I just cover it all up really well.

    Here’s the issue; due to a very violent and turbulent childhood full of mixed messages which I carried forth into every relationship & venture, I now find myself at 40: unemployed again after getting away with it in a job I hated; the latest of many. Finally I have dealt with most of my personal insecurities, my anger and relationship issues and have no real fears there, I trust myself and am open and am finally making good decisions with relationships.I just can’t clear the block that comes out of my thoughts re: job/career/business and I don’t trust myself. I think and worry WAY too much. I reject psychotropic medication completely, yet I know my overthinking is killing me.

    Dream Job/money no object: Comedy writer, comedian

    Problem: I don’t believe I am as funny as I used to be, plus I am lazy..I start to write..the resistance begins and nothing good comes out so I quit and hate myself. I have tried getting in via the sales aspect (I have been a salesman for many years) but no joy. I see an old friend who is successful and I am not green with envy, I am genuinely happy for him, but then I hate on myself for not being funny enough, driven, focused enough. He has simply done the work and I hugely respect him for that while making excuses for myself. I make everyone I know and meet laugh, many of them have said I should be a comedian but I freeze and do nothing. I am not scared of public speaking or meeting people, it’s the content I struggle with, and the reality of money.

    Passions: Comedy, health and fitness, music, politics, satire , activism, social media

    Problem: I was living my passion for several years by promoting parties and DJing part time, but I made the decision to “retire” due to hedonism, drugs, bad people etc. So that’s out. Comedy I mentioned above. I am about to begin a part time personal trainer course as I love working out, getting healthy, transforming my body & mind and helping friends to do so. Negatives: My area is saturated with them and I just don’t believe in myself enough to make it work. As an ENFP (I wish there was more out there to help with personality profiles) I get very passionate about social issues, the dumbing down of society, corrupt politics, manipulation, media etc. Last year I found myself as the head of a grassroots movement that created change in government and uplifted the community..I was greatly appreciated and advised by many to get into politics. My toxic romantic relationship at the time consumed me until only just recently.

    I know meditation will help, and I avoid it, I know writing anything will help and I avoid it (yet I am comfortable writing this) . If I can resist the work I will…with TV, movies, cannabis, porn, sex, whatever. I just get worse and worse in my self esteem.

    Right now I am struggling to get interviews for jobs I know I will hate just to pay the bills. I know that’s “the universe” or whatever you want to call it, telling me it’s my time for change, but the bills need paying and I need a lift. I hate wearing suits, ties, offices, corporate culture and feeling like I am selling my soul. I want something more noble.

    Part of me wants to get realistic and get into social care, but I don’t want to do 3 years at uni & get more debt. Part of me wants to be a vice squad officer working with missing kids, working to smash paedophile/trafficking rings, but I have a (spent) criminal record from 20 years ago. Part of me wants to launch something like “The Young Turks” in the UK, Part of me wants to be a personal trainer, part of me wants to make money, part of me wants to laugh, part of me wants to cry. Part of me wants to die, I attempted suicide twice in my 20s, I would never, ever do it now. But, the thought is always there. I have my moments of excitement and positivity, but they get stomped by the Mondays, every day…even though I am free of my office job where I had chest pains, stomach ulcers and vomiting many times over many years.

    The word “should” to me is a swear word, and even though I avoid it and encourage others to avoid it, it’s in my head. I was heralded as a future millionaire at the age of 14, I got a scholarship to a top boys school at 11, and hated it due to my family environment and self esteem issues. Yet I keep hearing “you are very lucky – you are a white, educated, healthy, european in 2014, you SHOULD be happy, making great money, having nice things and doing what you want, it should come easy” I reject the voice yet it still lingers.

    Thank you for reading, apologies for the essay yet one good thing is this is the longest I have written in a long time 😀

  • Confused but determined

    One of the smartest and most helpful comments around, thank you :))

  • OnlyOneAnswer

    I have been reading these comments and I see a trend… Why has no one mentioned God? I know that is a dirty word in today’s culture, but I can assure you: All the on-line advice, self-help books, and motivational speaker seminars in the world will still leave you thirsty. I know because I have been there. Proof? Look at these posts: On one end we have a poor person who hates the world for their own reasons… On the other end, a rich person who hates the world for their own reasons. I promise, if you continue to look at earthly answers to your questions, you will be looking for a long time. There is one person that can give you the answers you need. And He can’t be found on earth. But he did write a book if you’re interested… I recommend the New King James Version.

  • James

    Do what you haven’t done yet. Don’t try to force anything.. Don’t pass judgement even on society it is the way it is let others be the way they want to be cause they’ll be that person anyway.. take all bad feelings and throw them all away.. do more of what you enjoy doing visit a distant relative.. express your feelings to everyone you care about and that cares for you..

  • Liton Ahmed

    Sorry to hear that. I pray for your success. It will change Happy Plants. Don’t give up!!!

  • Aaron

    Oh I feel awful. I am reading this and answering honestly, but I am nothing of what I yearn for. I haven’t been able to find a career, I’ve been through multiple jobs. I am only 19, why am I so lost. Everything I wrote is the farthest thing from a 9 to 5 job. I moved out of my house across country and felt so alive while traveling. Now I’m lost, I don’t want a job, to place all of my energy into, then to buy the fake ness and trash of this world to waste the last of my energy.
    I want that feeling of following the heart, and spreading good vibes. I don’t want a family or a career to retire on. I don’t want a 401k or large shares in the latest company. Why, can’t I find this life?
    I don’t mind working, but I don’t feel right. I get troubling stomach pains, I can not live this life.
    However I don’t know where to start or go.
    This post is beautiful, like what I want, I’m sweating just from how badly I want this life, and the seriousness of how I feel. I can not give enough thanks for this, but I am now in realization I can’t keep living like this.

    Thanks, hopefully I will find what I need.

  • Ally Mack

    Hi I’m Ally
    I have been in the most horrendous marriage for 20 years he has cheated on me several times, he constantly lies, has been in trouble with the law emotionally blackmails my kids has attempted suicide (not) several times to keep me here he spends every penny we have before i can get what i need for the kids, house or myself and he’s down right disrespectful to me Why am i still here you ask ???? because he keeps me in financial and emotional trouble so that i have been on a hamster wheel of hellishness and never able to get off coping with one drama after another constantly skint and unable to get away and rent my own place and start over. I have answers to every single one of these questions and it has made me think I could have had these things but I put everyone else before me and now its too late- for all you guys reading these posts chase and catch as many of your dreams as you can. You can knock your pan in trying to please and support others and forget your self. Answer the questions and do what you have to do to cross them off as you achieve them . M

    ake it your bucket list ha ha xxx all the best A

  • Alia Jan

    This is a great article. I have always said that you are broke if you
    spend everything (or more) than you make, even if you make over a
    million dollars per year.

  • bandgeek

    I’m just a middleschooler, wandering on the internet, going to school. I have a lot more years to live, but the most memorable moments are middle school and high school, and I’m here on the internet, passing my day like yesterday; going to school and on the internet at home. Then I stumbled on to this article, and I realize that I am wasting my precious, beautiful life to something that’ll hurt me (with socialization, education, and memories). I realized that I can’t answer most of your questions…

    So I want to start a new life tomorrow; doing a good deed a day with a happy moment everyday. I want to find a reason to keep living for tomorrow. When I’m on my deathbed at 90, I want to look back at my life and regret nothing.

  • Nick-Nock

    What about taking a course? You said that you like helping others so you could study to become some kind of counseller, or occupational therapist? You are obviously an intelligent woman and you would be able to relate to people and understand their feelings?
    Have a look at night schools or degrees that interest you, and even if they don’t lead to a new career, at least you would be doing something for YOU and not anyone else and that would make you feel so much better.
    Good luck 🙂

  • Dante

    I m 20 years old now, stopped my economics school for the reason i would hate doing a desk job like this and also we have money difficulties…
    i wanna make a new start, study something that will make me happy..and get out of this misery every day life of doing nothing.. but the problem is i dont really know what i want to do.. i like some things but im not sure for neither of them..
    so i gave these questions a try and i will post them in case anyone of you have any ideas to help me.. here we go..

    1. I love music(favorite thing in the world), video games, animations, beautiful nature, traveling, peace, hospitality, calmness, good company, meeting good people

    2. I m not sure for this question but all i can think is these… making friends, staying on a “good” path, getting a job, started guitar

    3. For peace, equality, empathy, world aid

    4. This one is a hard one but i dont really mind as long i am happy in a place i want to be, resourceful and with people i love

    5.Buy a pc (looong desire), start a new instrument, help my friends and family, donate to poor and travel

    6. I dont have really any particular in mind, i just admire the people that help the others in need, the more simple the better

    thats all i can think for now, thanks for the list and the comments below 🙂

  • Manish

    I m confused in my life, i don’t wanna live like this and also don’t want die for nothing. i want to do something i have faith in myself that i will do something. I always ask myself the reason of my birth why i’ve been born why i am here. need help… please help

  • jr

    I’m 18 years old and everyday I get up I still don’t know wat I want in life. The things I want I don’t know if I’m ready to get it

  • zeninla

    answered all the question, but that didn’t tell me much more than i already didn’t know. you should do a part two of this article that explains what to do with your answers. how can they be useful and actionable. i think they need to be broken down even further somehow.

  • Angela

    A lovely article.

    I am 24 and working in a job that I don’t hate, but I don’t respect those I work for or what they are doing. I waited my whole life to work in film and now that I am here….it is letting me down. It has been hard for my dream job to turn into this.

    I don’t know where to go from here. I’ve only been in my position for 3 months so I can’t very well quit and move on so soon. I understand needing to own your own life and follow your dreams and desires, but I think that there is something to be said for common courtesy and not leaving your employers in a lurch. I feel so lost all of the time.

  • honey

    Thanks a lot of this information it makes me realize that life is fragile… we need to think evrything that weve done….if thats a rght things to do or not? I start communicate and start reading like this article its very helpful for me tnxxx

  • Nick Bryant

    Hello Lady Angler!

    Don’t stress! Your situation can be fixed! I would recommend cutting back drastically on your spending. Save up for about 1 year’s worth of expenses and then get out of town! At that point you can spend some time relaxing and finding your true passion.

    I personally need about $16,000 per year to live as a single person in Gainesville, Florida. Pretty much everyone out here lives with very little money and we’re pretty happy! Go back to the basics and stop keeping up with the Joneses. Downsize the apartment, the car, any extra money you may be spending on eating out and shopping. Once you’ve saved up, you’ll be ready to find your true path!

    Remember, we’re all born with nothing and we’ll all die with nothing. Possessions don’t mean too much!

    I hope this helped

  • kika

    unfortunately i do not know what i want or like in life..i have been suffering from social phobia since more than 8 years 31 and dont know what step to take
    i have zero friends and the thing is i dont seem to want to make them neither as i never had them. i feel miserable. when i did try to make a friend i just didnt have much to say.
    i dont speak to no one except family members
    i wake up and see no future..i stay at home all day as i cant go scared sort of.nervous and anxious about what people are tinking of me

    all i know is that i want alot of money and i dont want to work very very hard for it

    any advice let me know

  • Jaime

    Great post as im looking for an answer myself on what to do in my life and really stressed me for the past 6 months. i hope there’s a very good outcome if i follow this. thank you…

  • Emma

    Thank You really THANK YOU

  • Fitzmeister

    LadyAngler, you’re not alone! A simple few words help me change my life – “What would you do if you weren’t afraid?” I’ve just walked away from 24 years in law enforcement. This job was my life and it didn’t matter what happened to me, my job was always there. The only problem was this type of work wears you down to the point where you have nothing left. Unfortunately I didn’t have enough self respect to change and instead worried more about job security than my well being. I became ill two years ago and decided is was time to feel the fear and make some big changes. It’s not easy and some days I feel it would be easier to go back to what I know but I remember how the stress was killing me. Life is certainly more interest now and I’m more comfortable with change. All the best


    I’m 36 male and I have a wife and 2 kids (2 and 11 months). I also have a child that is 12 from a previous, failed, relationship. I have joint custody and loved spending time with him. Now that he is older and is with his friends more the fun has worn off. Not to mention that his mother has no clue about the importance of attaining high marks in school and is satisfied with him just passing, which makes me want to smack her upside the head and say wake up! Now, my current marriage is basically failing because my wife seemed to have unreal expectations about how being a mother was going to go. As I guess I did as well. I married her and had children with her because I did not want to lose the friendship that seemed to be so great when we were dating. This has proven to be a big mistake. I am unhappy, the sex now sucks and the kids, though I love them, seem more of a burden then an enjoyment. I married and had children for the wrong reasons and totally f&*ked myself. I hate my business (self employed carpenter/contractor). I used to have so many dreams and expectations and used to love life and mostly my freedom. I never made a lot of money and was just out of the woods with my first son and could have gotten a big chunk of my freedom back being he was at the point that he was more independent. Now I’m doing it all over again and I hate it. I feel like killing myself everyday just to escape because nothing brings me joy, except for my kids smiling and that doesn’t make it any better in the long run. I have no retirement, no savings because it all goes to my child support and current wife and kids care, so I basically can’t do shit with my free time and when I do I get reprimanded about how my life hasn’t changed and my wife’s has….which is complete bs! I play softball 1 night a week in the summer and used to go bowling with one of my friends on Monday in the winter…and besides the once a month ufc fight I basically do nothing but hang out with the family. I tell my wife to go out and enjoy some time away from the kids which she does when she’s not making the excuse of being to tired. True she’s been tired from waking up with the kids because I had knee surgery and couldn’t but when I was, and now that I am healthy I wake up with the youngest so that I don’t have to listen to her complain and so that she has less of a reason to bitch at me…..SO, my life sucks. I can no longer be active and pursue dreams that I once had (going to Colorado to go snowboarding, living somewhere warm and just enjoying freedom and life)….so what’s the answer….and that’s even if you read all of this. AND that’s just the tip of the ice berg. (multiple surgeries, divorced parents, dad that was never there, thought and was told I had an std, which was mis diagnosed, kicked out at the age of 16…should i continue) Life has just sucked but I’m still here, I don’t know why, believing that one day it will magically all disappear. Also, I had a GPA of 3.75 with classes in Anatomy, pre-calc, chemistry….and I’m a f**king carpenter!!!!! Someone please help me see the light!

  • Just

    I’m a 19 year old guy and idk what to do. I love music and want to get signed to a major label because i feel i have the potential if i truly desire to get good enough, but i know thats just a dream. I believe no one should ever settle for less than they already have. I feel like it kills you a little bit on the inside. Life shouldn’t be about working for the rest of your life. I feel there is a deeper meaning but i dont know what i want to do. Those questions and things to write down i literally couldn’t come up with anything.

  • SlimShady

    1: nothing
    2: im proud of all the trips that i’ve done
    3: i would do the things im doing now
    4: this is my fucking question
    5: buy a beautiful house
    6: no one

    What a beautiful life that i have

  • livebyfaith

    the answer to everything is to turn to Jesus and he will guide you and direct your paths, no matter what you do in life without God you end up failing and feeling miserable. jesus is the way the truth and the life, you feeling miserable and discourage? turn to jesus, nothing or no one else will find you satistafaction in this life because apart from him we have nothing, turn to him and see how your life will change

  • livebyfaith

    please turn to jesus nothing else in this life will satisfy you, and you wont find happines. jesus is the answer cry out to him and surrender and you will see how your life will change. the devil has nothing to offer you but he just wants to destroy you and decite you with lies. but no matter what you do in life without God you wont find happines. i was in your position beofre until i gave up and surender to him and my he change my life completly , and now i wake up every morning with joy looking forward cus now i have something to live for

  • Tenzin Thokmay

    Thank you for.the post. It helped me to see what life could be if we realize what is really important and which would make one’s life truely worth and happy.
    I’m 27 and unemployed for now,only completed high school, bounced between lots of odd jobs earning just enough to get by but most of the times I’m in financial crisis with unpaid bills. I tell myself everytime when I’m financially broke which always leads me to depression, I tell myself that I’m still very lucku that there are soo many people out there who sleep empty stomach and without a roof on their heads. Sometimes it’s just too stressful to even think about a future while everything you try kind of fails at the moment and then I’m just too scared to think if i could even support or raise a family if I had one in the future. Buy I’m still hopeful things will get better one day. I live in asia,nepal and I always thought the west was a paradise with people earning good money and the comfortable life they lead but then I read the comments here in article and feel like even in the west with all thay people still feel soo depressed and miserable. I earned roughly 1800 US $ a year when I did work. I guess simple living isn’t that easy when reality hits you in the face everyday to remind you that you were born in this certain time to work your whole life just to have enough to eat and live. Hate inflation. I’d be happy if I could just come down to west because life is really better there from what I hear. Anyway I hope everyone feel better and find a way to be happier. 3 of mu friends committed suicide ouy of depression which is kind of scary. I wouldn’t consider that. Just look for beter days, and yeah stay content.

  • Tenzin Thokmay

    Work hard 1st and save some real money then get out and persue a dream if you have one. Nothing comes easy my friend. And go out and just stop caring about what people might think, you should train yourself to do that…here too it takes a little work. Well,just stop doing anything for an hour everyday,don’t touch nothing,no internet or tv or cell phone nor any book..just lie idle and think about life and what you feel is uour purpose(genuinely) what would make you genuinely happy..and go out and try yo work on that. I would do the same thing if I was you,but I need to get by and feed myself on daily basis. It takes time patience anf alil work before you see a more happier and comfortable day.

  • Tenzin Thokmay

    Go for your dreams but don’t expect too much though coz that.may lead you to feel miserable if you don’t get where you want to. An unrealistic expectation is harmful but if you know your good in music and you love doing it then there will always be a way. Goodluck on that.

  • TenziN Thokmay

    Good to hear that. Happy journey.

  • TenziN Thokmay

    Goodluck buddy.

  • TenziN Thokmay

    Wish I could really help you there but can’t. I know it’s disheartening when starting from the scratch but I hear you got a degree in business so I hope you get the right opportunity soon.

  • TenziN Thokmay

    Happiness is really all in your mind. Nicely said. I had this friend always was jolly,laughing, smiling with everyone. Was fun loving and always seemed positive but then two days back I found out she committed suicide, and I was absolutely shocked and speechless. That was all fake and a mask while underneath, she was just dieing everyday by pressure from her family which I found out yesterday as she left a note. Well,train your mind and meditation should help a little to not go thay extreme. Damn. It is all in our mind.

  • TenziN Thokmay

    I agree with you.

  • TenziN Thokmay

    Thank you for your positive words and good luck ahead.

  • TenziN Thokmay

    Why is your dream job letting you down,what reasons? ? Practicing to be a little content sometimes can really ease your mind. If you know those reasons then get down to the bottom of that and work on it. Why is it a big deal?? Ask yourself and generally, nothing will make one happy even if one had a trillion dollars in his/her account unless one practices contentment. And work for a social cause if time permits, helping others will eventually make you happier and forget about your own illusional worries that is created by mind in time.

  • new_girl

    Hi, I feel the exact same way and I’m 27. I finished uni, have a decent job, but dreaming of doing something else and finding something that makes me happy. As you, I know there’s no one out there who could answer these questions for me, but it doesn’t make it any easier. There’s just nothing that makes me happy or that I’d like to do. It makes me feel even worse when I see people who know what they want from life, when I’m just stuck with clueless mind and heart. I feel like there’s nothing inside me. I remember I used to be ambitious and I had plans (which I then realised) but it’s gone now. I keep on coming back to this post, trying again and again. But I’m slowly giving up now, thinking it’ll all be the same forever.

  • sal

    im in a sistuation right now where i dont now what to do with my life, im thinking of jooning the military to help me decide what i want to do, but anyways im going to do these 6 question first and find out what i really want in life

  • M

    blah blah blah self help bullshit blah. What if the answer to all those questions is simply nothing? I found this page by searching “I don’t value my life” on google, and your article did zero to change that.

  • Jopey Joe

    I’ve recently turned 18, studying music at college and in a few months my course ends. I have no idea what to do next. university hasn’t been a big interest of mine but i thought it would keep me busy for the next few years but it turns out I’m not good enough.. Music is the only thing i care about and for someone to say my music ‘isn’t that good or exciting’ from a university tutor is just heartbreaking. Especially after spending hours a week writing and recording for the past 3 years.

    Right now my life literally has no meaning, i don’t know maybe I’m having a man period or something but i really can’t be bothered with anything right now. All my confidence has been drained out from that university interview. My parents think I’m doing really well and the university interview went great, just needed to share this with someone and who else is better than a bunch of people on the internet who i don’t know.

    basically, if you work for a record label, TELL THEM TO GIVE ME A CHANCE!!!!!

  • jopey joe

    holy fuck I’m exactly the same, all i want to do is write music, getting signed just seems impossible but i promised myself i won’t give up trying until i die, reason being if i don’t write and perform music for a living, i don’t want to live at all.

  • Ashley Keer

    This article helped me so much. I am 22 years of age. Ever since leaving school I have tried many different things and moved about a lot, I’ve never had a stable life. I’m forced to go into dead end jobs to provide for me and my fiancée but I have always known that I never want a job where I am unfulfilled or be told what to do or forced to do something. Trouble is, I have so many interests and passions and so many potential paths to take that I get lost and don’t know which way to go. I feel I’ve been lost for the past 6 years and when I think I’m getting somewhere I eventually seem to get lost again and go back to square 1. However, hopefully this is the start of doing what I really want to do. Thank you for this amazingly helpful post! 🙂

  • Eric Saucier

    Life and all that is in it,
    is part of the infinite mind;
    and the only way that life can go wrong
    is by the limited finite mind.

  • Kat

    This is the life you chose so be a mature man and deal with it and put effort into making it work! You aren’t a teenager anymore that can walk away from a relationship when it’s not fun anymore. All couples go through this. You took marriage vows for better or worse. So I suggest you work through the worst and stick around. I hate it when couples decide to divorce because the honeymoon stage is over and it’s not fun anymore. People like this have no business getting married in the first place. I don’t mean to offend you but I probly have but you sound more like a 20 year old then someone in there 30’s. Grow up, you have kids now and they look up to you and you need to set a good example. Show them that you need hang in there when things get tough, not run away. If your unhappy in your work life that’s a differnt story. I wouldn’t quit your job without having another one lined up since you have a family to support. Go to a job agency and see what they have to offer. Stop feeling sorry for yourself. My upbringing was worse than yours the only difference is I don’t go around playing the victem and crying about it. It just showed me what I didn’t want to be like and I moved beyond it. It’s time you do the same. I’m sorry if all this sounds insensitive, just think of it as tough love.

  • Kat

    Are there any community centers near you where you can sign up for a class? Something like pottery, or painting? How about a outdoors group? I love hiking.

  • Zo

    Hi Ally Mack,
    Thanks for what you said..I am a 21 year old scared piece of shit..I do not follow my dreams. Instead I have buried them deep because my parents told me I should aim to get a ‘proper’ job. I feel sick, I wanted to be a dancer..I’ve never loved anything as much as dancing and my ex who tore my heart apart by cheating on me with my best friend. I;m currently on my way to working in the finance business eventhough I know I would hate it. I lie to myself everyday. But, I never change because I’m afraid, society and my parents have instilled in me an idea that I cannot get away from. And I am the one to blame, but I feel weak and like I’ll never get out of it. I never knew I would turn into such a disappointment when I was a kid and had all those crazy dreams and felt so excited about life.
    Hope you get away from your husband. Find the strength..And be happy again, be a strong woman your kids will look up to:)…

  • dado

    I was born in bosnia and was forced out of my country. I am a refugee and my family too refuge in germany and now we are in the States. I am an ex collegiate athlete. I was an all american had a full ride scholarship and I lost it because i wanted to party. Now I am stuck in a never ending cycle of not knowing what to do with my life. Soccer has consumed my life for 20 years and now i am struggling without it. I feel like ive wasted my skill and now i definitely cant find what i wanna do or what i wanna be. Im back in college but it feels like im just going through the motions and im simply not excited about anything i do. I just need a spark.


    i am just the BEST !!!

  • A friendly voice

    In life it is important to start living and stop existing. Whilst it is true that we only have one life, it is also true that we have a lifetime to do something incredible. “Nothing is more damaging to the adventurous spirit inside every man, than the idea of a secure future. It is important to have an ever changing horizon and a new sun.” Christopher Mcandless. The change starts with you. Only you can decide if it’s a failure. So give it a go and don’t stop until you find it.

    A young man beginning to choose his path.

  • prabhjot singh

    I stuck in my life after doing mba …don’t know where to go.. my father is having the small retail shop….don’t know what was my passion…..I remember the days when I was passionate about mba…to join top b school…..but I joined average school……now just going to start jonb to earn money…..but I lost my passion…………………………..quitting success path .just going to live a simple life…………………

  • Vobluda

    What to do if the answers are: 1) nothing, 2) nothing, 5) the things you said and then what I do now – reading and some time wasting, but without a fear how to pay for bills 6) nobody ?

    I don’t want to live like that, I don’t want to, but I tried everything. I get passionate about something and then it fades.. and I am more and more sad. I think I could have ADD, that is only thing that explains my life.. I just don’t know so much.. Well, I spend more time here, maybe it helps:)

  • AZ

    I am lost.. I don’t know what to do. I Just graduated. 19 years of age, and have a job that puts food on the table for my siblings. We’re not making much money, but we are surviving. I don’t want to be stuck doing the same thing all my life. I want to make more money for my family! Make it easier for them. I don’t care what happens to me.

    I’m a guy that loves nature, and weight lifting, but more importantly helping people. Who ever needs help, like people that are starving but have no control over that or those who are ill.. Even in other countries.
    I’m just stuck in my own little world , and don’t know what’s out there.. Where do I start..? Who do I go to?

  • Bre

    I don’t know any of you on this page, but I have to admit it felt good to know I am not alone in the fight of living and just not existing anymore. I am a giver; always has been but i also want to be loved within my giving. But it seems as if my kindness is taken advantage of and made it look like I am weak and than when I finally speak up for myself I am looked at as being a b*tch or being called selfish and only thinking of myself. I have been listening to this spiritual song by a lady named Jessica Reedy called “Better”; this song will feed your soul to the fullest. I pray for everyone on this page and that we all find a sense of happiness and reason to fight to live. I have been bullied all my life told I am nothing live with an emotional abusive fiance and than I ask myself why I am still with him and giving all I have to him and others who don’t care anything about me.

    It is nothing wrong with living for yourself and for your kids if you have them. I am learning it is not being selfish but loving yourself and who you are… I am a musician who was told by family and some so called friends to find something more stable that has benefits and job security; I followed my heart and I won’t make it seem as if everyday is easy, but it is fulfilling to where it has saved my life. I have been able to travel the world and get paid for what I love doing. I am learning that you have to live for yourself and than you can include others.

    There are still giving people in this world and there are still evil takers in this world. I am praying on where to draw the line and sometimes have problems with drawing those lines but with declining health it’s making the decision easier and easier.

    I pray for all looking for purpose and the will to live and the fight to stop just existing and I know it’s hard. I am still fighting even today but I refuse to give in without going out without a fight.

    I pray for you alls strength!

  • jbmiller97

    blah blah blah self help bullshit blah. What if the answer to all those questions is simply nothing? I found this page by searching “I don’t value my life” on google, and this offered me absolutely nothing.

    I have done quite a bit of thinking on the subject of the worth of people, death, life, and how we’re all brought up in life being told “we are all special”. Well we’re not. There are an infinite number of me’s out in the endless expanse of space ensuring that the configuration of atoms and energy called me will never die, and do you know what happens if you don’t die, if you CAN’T die? You go mad. This is the fate that awaits all of us, the sheer force of boredom alone will drive every one of us past the brink of complete insanity. I have only lived for 16 years but my life feels as if it has passed through hundreds of years. When you stare deep into the abyss it is said to stare back at you, this is untrue. When you stare deep enough into the void you realize, you were nothing all along, and yet you cannot die. If there were such a thing as a soul, I would believe it to have been sucked strait out of me leaving only my mind left to decay as a body without a pulse. If you can, disregard what I say to you, just … remember this. It will help you understand what is happening when you find yourself alive when you should be dead.

  • joe

    Nobody here is alone. We all have some relationship in life that brings us down – a job, boss, career, parent, friend, etc. This article is important as it gets you to examine your life, but solutions that require change are the hardest to implement. We MUST change. You have two choices – change, or depression. Every book, every movie, every pop song, every saying….have one thing in common if you read between the lines. That is, you must change something to make the future different than the past.

    I have never known complacency. I have not only put bad relationships behind me, but also, in my ever-seeking need to change, have destroyed a few good situations.

    You simply must dive off the board into the water of your dreams. This is not simple, but the hardest thing you will ever do…but do you must.

    Quit, move, begin that business, end that marriage, leave those toxic siblings…whatever you want to get away from, do it now. Even if you do not know where you are going, you’ll get there someday simply because you had the courage to get off the wrong path.


  • Mel

    I’m 19 years old, just graduated high school and I have no clue what to study. I’ve been trying to figure out what I want and what makes me happy and this post has kind of helped me see what I truly want in life. Hopefully I’ll find my way. Thanks!

  • kos

    I am 33 years old and I can relate to you Ladyangler. I have lived my life the basic layout Also so far. I too feel like I am eating my life and live for the weekends. . it has been almost a year since your comment, would love to hear you progress. I am on the fence myself trying to break free and do something else with my life.

  • Nigel


    Please don’t put yourself down like that. You’re not a scared piece of shit OR a disappointment. If you look at the life stories of anyone that ever achieved anything, they always faced some sort of opposition from somewhere. Whether it’s family, friends, co-workers; there will always be someone trying to tell you how to live your life. But you need to start listening to what YOU want, not what they want. 🙂

  • Lavinia

    love it! Thank you

  • a girl

    My problem is that I don’t care about anything, I’m jus killing time at the age of 22. last years I always did what I wanted, I was painting, doing yoga, reading, studying science and art, helping others, I was always out, I had many friends. But now it’s already 7 or 8 months I do nothing at all and I don’t even want to do, I see the idea in nothing, I don’t trust anyone, I feel nothing because I felt too many disappointment, I dont have strength to wake up in the morning. I want to live again but first I need to find something worth. I just listen to my favorite music and thats all. I lost my favorite people and I lost my memories, places and everything with them. I can’t even think, I think I’m still shocked. I want to live again but I can’t fight for it. will I ever be happy again? or satisfied.

  • Felicha


    I have spent a few hours pondering and answering these questions.

    What I’ve realized is that the person who I’ve always wanted is already here, present and aware of what she wants, and who she wants to be. I’ve made a lot of conscious choices in the past few years and have been able to let go of anxieties and become much more self aware. I am starting to become the humble, compassionate individual I’ve always dreamed of being. I’ve also realized that my dreams are very achieveable as they aren’t too out of this world.

    Thank you for giving me the questions to tie it all together. This has given me the push to let go of the fear and keep moving in the right direction.

    To everyone out there who feels lost: let go, and love yourself. Seek therapy, surround your self with motivated individuals who resonate good energy and what you love to do will come to you.

    With an open heart always,

  • Paul

    Not trying to be intrusive or anything but I kind of get the feeling that your life revolves around drinking booze and getting high. As a former drug/alcohol abuser, trust me, these things are mere distractions and, quite frankly, a waste of money. They aren’t the answers you’re looking for. Try looking deeper inside of you.

  • TheKid

    I can’t answer some of these questions. I feel I’m too young. and maybe it’s beyond just simply changing myself, but I definitely don’t feel as if I’m passionate about anything in life, nor do I feel as if I’ve accomplished anything major because I literally QUIT everything at some point. I appreciate the incite and wish this could be something of worth to me, but instead, it’s made me feel more disappointed about myself and admiring someone, I don’t admire the people exactly, sometimes I admire traits in people or things they’ve accomplished themselves or attitude they have towards things, but I don’t look at people and go wow! Just not in me, I stay within myself, consumed by emotions and deep thoughts. I don’t think I’ll ever make it anywhere. Although I know I have something in me, just don’t know how to make it come out and make life happen. It’s depressing.

  • stu

    Thank you for the reply .No intrusion at all Paul . Im not depressed. I dont use daily or abuse either alcohol or drugs. If I drink I have one. If I smoke a joint its one or two. I look after my family and friends. Im employee of the month every month. The point im trying to make is that the article is based on dreams of many people but its not just so simple and easy to pack up and start again. Well unless I was a bit of a selfish bastard that cares only what makes me happy. its a very nice and fulfilling article to read but in fact its not so simple that it sounds to turn life around. Possible? Yes. So easy as it sounds? No way!! Theres no ying without yang. Not without somekind of financial backing during the change. Or did everyone forget that money is why the world goes around???

  • PJeans

    I feel like I am in a terrible situation right now. I am 21 years old with an associates degree a well paying job as a waiter I’m saving tons of money I have a great car and a strong family behind me as well as a good group of friends but I feel like I am trapped. All of my friends know what they want to be and have their careers figured out but I feel like I am the last one to do so. I love sports talking about butnim not very good at writing, I enjoy the feel of helping others figure out what is right and what is wrong but I can’t figure out what is right for me. I come from a poor but very strong family and they all think very highly of me but I feel like I am wasting time. I know I have my whole life ahead of me but I’ve been at a stand still for over 2 years now

  • steph

    What if you don’t know what you are good at? or your strengths? Im 19 at the moment, about to go in my last year of uni, i’m glad I know all this information you’ve posted, yet I still feel like I will end up in something I wont like, I don’t feel I can do anything to stop it.
    should you go for something you enjoy but are not good at ? or something you are ok with, but do not enjoy? because sadly, that is the way it is for me.

  • Syed Naqvi

    Everybody has something. <3

  • Syed Naqvi

    You’re living it good! 😀 It’s great, keep up the high potential of getting outstanding grades and what not. But for what you wish to do for your future life, don’t let any one decide that for you. I’m 19 as well and honestly, well I’m not stupid, but I’m extremely lazy which brings forth my stupidity. I’m failing two of my classes which I’m completely upset, so I WANT to change my life. Okay pardon this act of behavior but, to hell with the world and their ideologies. You should set out for your dreams in what you love and accomplish many things. I’m not saying to ignore those who are trying to help you, I’m saying to be happy 🙂 Live it good and believe in your self. We have a long life ahead of us, and god forbid if we don’t have that time, then let’s at least enjoy these very seconds with joy. Oh and listen to upbeat music, it’ll rile you up and make you feel like doing the impossible! ^.^ Just like Molly Lou Mellon’s grandma would say, “Believe in yourself and the world will believe in you.” And so…. “She believed.” ;D Read that book many years ago. _> shhh <3

  • Syed Naqvi

    You are in the state of nirvana. Hmmmm, sorry felt like saying that ’cause it popped in my head. Well I’m 19! 😀 I’m not in the least like you, out going, beautiful, creative, etc. You seem to have had it good but people hurt you and now you feel like, “shit…. what is there to live for now? :(” Meh, I feel that every day ^.^ You’re not alone, I sometimes try to see myself with a friend. I mean I have some but I don’t get that sense of comfort like happiness, I’m usually alone and I’m like you at that part. “Why get up? I’m just going to do the same shit all over again.” But I want to change, I wanna get over my social anxiety and become somebody great. I shall accomplish that! If not then I’ll be tossing and turning in my grave ’cause I’ll be like “what have I done?! God (or whomever or not you believe in) created me and I threw it all away!” WE must change ourselves! ^.^ And when you say you have lost your friends, nah. They have lost you. <3 When I'm alone a lot, I begin to cry (a young man crying, ha! unheard of) and feel like dying many times or I ask God why he created me? Or will I always be depressed and sad forever? But in the end, all we ever want is to be happy. So in your case seeing as you're young too and have lots of confidence, think of your future not of the present or the past. Think of what you want to do, such as become a Picasso, Da Vinici, Steve Jobs, Sarah Palin (nah not her, sorry), Oprah, Toni Morrison, Nelson Mandela and change the world. I'm not telling you to become a dude, I'm saying to examine their ideals and make a new goal in life! 😀 _>) okay I’m still alive. But don’t be like the idiotic couple like right in my face, at the moment kissing crazily in the middle of the library… -_- Well I’m not sure if you’ll want to read my long ass essay haha but it was worth the try. Trust me, you will be happy 🙂

  • Syed Naqvi

    Ahem! I’m 19 years old too man. “impossible”, Not sure where the quote is from because my 13 year old brother told me about it. “Nothing is impossible, because the word itself says I’m Possible.” Like wow man, that blew me! I was like hahaha I love that quote. <3 (I'm a heart loving guy, sorry) Go forth with your dream. If Mandela can walk his country to freedom, if Gandhi can help liberate independence, if Malcolm X can defy the system of injustice, if Dr. King can announce, "I Have a DREAM!" Then believe me man. Your dream of becoming a musician or music producer or in the actual band itself is Absolutely POSSIBLE! I mean look at Justin Bieber, he made it. So why cant you? ^.^ I'm pretty sure you're way better than he is. <3

  • Syed Naqvi

    Haha, man no one’s ready in life. My ma had her first kid when she was 20, I asked her, “Were you ready for all of this?” Now she has four of us including me, I’m oldest son with two older sisters and one bro. She was like, “No not really, but what I did, was done and from then on I set my goals on how to complete my position as a mother.” You’re probably like what the hell does this have to do with me not knowing what to do with my life…. >_> Well, none of us are ready <3 We just gotta go out there and find out what we can stabilize on and maintain a happy living. 🙂 In time you will be like, hmm was i really like that? But we just have to be thrown out on the stage of life and embrace all the challenges that come at us. Because we are Human! And we shall not go undefeated! Learn new things online, the web is vast now. Everything is within our grasps. Good luck man, and I hope you find meaning to your wonderful life. <3

  • Syed Naqvi

    Become a chef! 😀 I’ll come to your restaurant. ^.^ You’re still young! Even though I’m 19 >_> … I’m a baby then. (: But stop running so much and stop! Relax it out, breath in then breath out. Think of YOUR life as a whole. “I wanna be an artist like Picasso!” or “I wanna be a chef like that one dude from Hell’s Kitchen!” You may have failed, but it;s good. There was a quote I read from a poster in high school. Something like this, “It’s better to fail in life but get back up, then never trying at all.” Men, ugh. they are swine-full pigs! Shiver me Timbers! Haha just kidding, I’m a guy, so I insulted myself… T_T anyways there is a big blue sea of many fishy men waiting to be snatched by the mighty hook you are. Don’t give up, because if you do, I’ll be heart broken. You will probably wonder, “Why would this kid be heart broken?! Bahahaha” Because if you can’t do it, my inspirational model who has faced more in life than I, then how can I ever do it? I wish you find true happiness in the joy of life. I’m still searching for it, so please lead me to victory. <3

  • Syed Naqvi

    WOW! So many inspirational comments, I loved how everyone was helping each other out. Now that’s the kind of world I’d love to live in. But unfortunately, hate, war, chaos consumes most of our beautiful world. Keep doing it my role models! Keep spreading your blessings! <3

  • Dina

    This is one of the greatest posts I have ever read. Thank you so much. I am truly greatful!!!

  • Honey

    At age 15 I have a chronic illness that doctors know nothing about and I have to start schooling from home. I will never be able to work a full time job and my future is looking bleak…

  • test


  • mb

    awesome post..I am definitely looking forward to change my life completely ..I am 23 and I don’t have a job I don’t know where to go ..corporate job or something that I always wanted to do .society pressure and high standard of show off adds on to the frustration and I don’t know why people try to put others down and we actually get hurt by it , instead we should be thinking about our lives and how we want to live.. I hope we all find a better way to live our life to the fullest ..all the best people..START LIVING .:)

  • Susie

    I am so trapped and sucked dry, I can’t even answer these questions. Intelligent, successful, well paid, well respected ….. and I don’t even know who I am.

  • Mulubrhan Dagnew

    i do see the world is getting poisoned but when i say that, people say that i am negative. I do not see real happy people but sure many fake it? this is the question we all need to ask. Why reading LadyAngler , i remembered Charlie Chaplin greater speech…. i think he had a message for modern man

  • Yo niggas

    1. Your mum
    2. Your mum
    3. Your mum
    4. Your mum
    5. Definately not your mom.
    6. Myself.

  • Impulses

    Really nice! I am about to release an app about trying to find out what you really want. It shall be out soon.. 🙂

  • Viola Ash

    What is it to “Give”? Is there ever a “how much” or “how long” to it? And when does one know when to draw a line. . Between pleasure and pain?

  • Clarexiii

    What do you do when your answers to these questions continuously change? You change change paths every six months!

  • Lost for ever

    Hello I’m 50 yrs old I’m living in my brothers car I’m strung out of herion for last 4 yrs I’m lost now I’m in and out of prison in and out of hospital I’m so lonely every night I was so hungry I had to go steal food to eat the other night I miss my kids there growing up in front of me I all but gave up went as low as I ever been I keep waking up every morning why I think I’ve been saved for a purpose the last 8 months I’ve should be dead and really feel cheated At times I know my youngest child’s smile keeps me going thru hard times I keep hoping for this one big break and my life is going to change for the good live life happily ever after

  • Alicia

    I have the same problem with my parents. They always ask me what I want to do with my life, but when I tell them that I don’t want a normal job. They say I don’t know what I want and that I just need a job that a good amount of money. The problem is that I don’t care about the money and I can’t even try to talk to them about what to do after high school. Now when they ask I just say, “Oh, something business related,” but I know that’s probably a lie.

  • Derek Gallardo

    This is what I really needed to see today. Thank you very much.

  • Andrews

    Happiness is within……
    Those who find it ,,,,,,,,,,,,can live it……………
    Hope you are next

  • Victor

    WoW O_O , are you my soul mate? <3 . Loves nature, animals, fishing, outdoors, simple living, art, helping others and the ability to overcome many hard knocks in life and I'm 20. You are so awesome

  • GnAz

    I don’t feel any different, I must be dead inside.

  • KittyKat Minecraft

    Thanks you. Just thank you. I felt this way. You helped me find my music passion! I now take Viola, Piano, Gutiar, and I take Singing Lessons. I love music more than anything in the world. I was waiting for, well, the weekends! I never knew what I was capable of. If I make it big time, I’ll have you to thank.
    -Thanks, (don’t ever give up!) Kitty

  • laracameron

    THANKU SO VERY MUCH! i am a class 11 student and i a have medical but i was in a dilemma since the last two days as to what do i really want in life and just 20 minutes! it took just 20 minutes to know! these six questions told me what i really want in life….it’s how people i know could not help me…in the end it was just me and my inner voice who made the right dcision….thanku very much. you have no idea what you gave me…..just by asking six questions! 😀 :’)

  • Johnn

    I am 21 and currently failing my university degree because I hate it and it makes me miserable. I thought i was happy with the way everything went, until the summer after my first year at university. That summer and summer after that I went to USA to work at a summer camp. I loved the job, I enjoyed working with the kids coaching them kayaking, swimming, water skiing, climbing, building camp-fires, spending nights around camp-fire with kids and other staff, meeting new people, making unforgeable memories and experiences and knowing I did something for the kids this summer that they will remember and hopefully impact their lives in the future. It was the hardest but most rewarding job I had so far.

    This summer job opened my eyes to what actually matters to me in life. Screw my degree, screw well payed jobs and the “respect” everyone talks about that you get with it… None of that is going to make me as happy as the last two summers did. But since I like in the UK summer camps don’t really exist here. Also without being student I don’t think I can actually get visa to go work at camps in the future.
    My biggest dilemma is how can I make this into more than just a amazing summer. Even if I could get visa to go again, I will most likely be stuck in dead end job for the 10 other months, and no matter what job I get they wont just let me go to USA for 2 months…
    I answered most of the questions above, they all lead towards the summer camp. Its like the one place where I was truly happy which makes me really really worried and scared I wont be happy again until I go back.

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  • Shaeric

    I quit my job last August because I started getting severe anxiety/nausea/panic attacks at work because of the horrible people I worked with. I’m 25 and can understand the anxiety and being terrified to go
    back to work. I, too, thought of suicide (although I wouldn’t
    actually act on it) because it just seemed easier than
    living with constant social anxiety and panic and trying to figure out
    the path I want to go in with my life. “Society” puts ridiculous ideas in our heads that we feel we have to live up to (such as having a job at all times… or we’re useless) and the moment we think we aren’t living up to those ideals, we panic. The first step is to realize that these societal ideas aren’t real – they are totally made up, and for some reason everyone believes them but basically no one follows them – so we are all in a panic for no g** damn reason! I must say, it has been quite the long road trying to get myself back on track and away from the anxiety/panic – I can see from your post it’s taking you much longer. I know that the anxiety will always be there, it is just who we are and so many people go through it – so what I have been doing is putting myself slowly into situations that may give me anxiety/uneasiness to see if this will somehow reverse it. I’ve been realizing that it helps, because slowly I’m becoming desensitized to the world around me and I’m finally able to function in situations I didn’t think I would ever be normal in again, such as hanging out with my friends even – the anxiety was so bad I was nervous to see my best friends who have known me my entire life. The fears we build in our heads are completely non-realistic. Once we realize this, it helps slightly. Try getting out with more people….they say anxiety stems from many things, and isolation is one of them. You should try a job that isn’t too demanding and is very low pressure – maybe part-time work at an ice cream stand. Do you like kids? Try subbing at your local school, or working at a daycare. Can you draw? Start painting or drawing comics…who knows it could turn into a freelance business once people see your art. If you don’t want an overly-stimulating environment, why not apply to a job at a library? How about a job that requires you to be outside? Nature is the best reliever. I’ve been seeing a therapist as well and am now on anxiety/depression medication. Give it a try – I promise things will eventually look up….I still have hope. Good luck 🙂

  • ewing

    If I were to follow my heart, I’d die from hunger. Just sayin’. If your dream is to sell used cars or organize your own online business, you’ll be fine. But a lot of people have dreams that do not pay enough to live. Not everyone has a talent to be successful at their dreams either. Maybe banal platitudes help someone, but I find them annoying.

  • AA Young

    I’ll do what I can to help answer your question. First I’ll say that I certainly do not have everything figured out (at 35), but I think I have more figured out than I did in my 20’s. I think the first and most important tact to take when facing these, or any, existential questions is to understand that you will likely not have answers readily available for all of them. It is OK to accept that an answer may not yet exist, or that you actually need to grow the inner strength to create your own answer/meaning (one of the hardest things to do because there is no outside validation.) Being open to discovery and creativity, and being persistent in growing your skill of self-validation will eventually create a rare power, the power of a sovereign individual. I am not proposing that your should not be social or embrace healthy dependence on others, but it all fundamentally begins with your relationship with yourself.
    I think many of us have forgotten that “improvements” in our time have allowed us an extreme amount of free time to ponder ideas like these. It can be depressing, but the reality is that more of us now have what a previous poster called “the LUXURY” to ponder and self-actualize. (Maslow’s Triangle)
    On the financial/career/freedom front: if you do not have some sort of financial freedom guaranteed by a sizable pension or sizeable asset base (investments); creating such a sizeable asset base that begins to grow on its own, is a major goal that more people should incorporate into the financial/career sphere of their lives. Having a job is nice, and necessary for many, but it is only one side of the coin. Many who hate their jobs, feel like they are getting nowhere, or are creating nothing of value are forgetting to focus on the other side of the coin (Their business vs. their employers.) Unfortunately, no one teaches and many do not practice, the other side of the coin. That side is “Your Business”, your financial self, ie. building your own asset base (not only your employer’s.) Focusing on creating a sizeable and eventually self increasing asset base and deriving your financial/career fulfillment from that focus really helps to change your perspective on why you go to work. We are all working for someone else and on the other side of the coin, building our financial selves. Focus on that side of the coin when thinking about career/money etc. Slow and steady, you are here now as it was meant to be. Have faith.

  • Jeeptim

    Well I guess now that the the innerweb is on computers its a fad that won’t be giong away anytime soon.
    Yeah I’m glad I found this site I need to make some life changes. For a single guy that lives on the beach I am not very happy. Stuck in a rut at job that sux conformed to the 9to5 and I hate it. I just want to be out in the woods with nature be part of the cycle of life.
    Not sure of my next move but going to start with some small steps. Health and wellness are in the worx for tomorrow and awnser the first of the six questions it may take some soul searching to get to my own truth not what people have been expecting and me/us blerting out as to not rock the boat or engage in things we have to explain done with that.
    I am ME and once I figure out who that is I will be in a better place. Going to take a moment but ill let you know.

  • mikee

    Drop the fancy things and life, you don’t need it, only vendors and business owners need you to buy all these things, abd buy a new model every year, cause they need your money to run their businesses… There is no need to buy a fancy car, newest flat tv, bigger and better things, you will never get them all, it’s impossible and that’s fine. Life is not about living your fancy things, simpler life is a better life, because life is simple.

  • Yomi

    hello, i need your help, i feel s miserable, every day of my life, am 30 and yet never accomplished all i aspired to while growing up, well i live in Nigeria, where things really dont go as planned, well i just recently finished studying for bsc in Mechanical Engineering, though graduated with a mere Pass, i dont know what to do, i want to make the rest part of my life the best, no job yet too, whats your advice please, note, am from an average Nigeria family// thank you

  • Master Something

    Lot’s of people will tell you to follow your bliss: “Seek your passions, and money will follow.” This is true, but impractical. When you are starting out almost no one knows what their passions are, and you become paralyzed because you can’t give your all until you find your passion. A better strategy is to forget your bliss and to find your passion by mastering *something*, almost anything. As you master some skill, giving your 100% to it, you will inevitably move toward your passion, step by step, all the while earning a living. Most likely it will take all your life to find your bliss. So don’t wait for your passion. Just master something.

  • Dubstepmachine

    Suicide is only way 🙂 o/

  • Dubstep

    yes suicide is the way

  • Casey

    This is such an insanely frustrating thing for me. I am 20 days away from being 21, and have yet to gain my GED. I’ve accomplished nothing really. All my experience has been with animals; I worked with a rescue as a foster and assistant, and I now work in a grooming salon. I hate what I do. I don’t hate the animals, not at all. But I hate that I basically do nothing. My job is a minimum wage, never gonna move up in the world type of job. It’s not worth it at all. My hours are constantly being cut… I often try to think of what I should be doing or working towards and my mind is constantly blank. I don’t know what I enjoy or what I should be working towards. I don’t know what to do with my life, and I know I’m still young and what not, but its disheartening watching all the people I know graduate from college/getting married and having kids/being financially independent while I’m living at home barely able to pay my car loan. I wish I knew what to do, even if it was the wrong thing. At least it would have been something.

  • Lily Wong

    I’m 29 this year and i know exactly how you feel. I have been in your situation. Maybe you could ask yourself, “what would you do if you are not afraid?” Many people actually have DREAMS in their mind, but they cannot make a change because they are feeling fear to leave their comfort zone. It takes a huge courage to leave your comfort zone and pursue your dreams. Maybe getting some motivation books to read could help you. And remember life is too precious to waste.Good luck to you.

  • Black hole girls

    All this did was make me even more sad because none of the things i wrote down can be achieved. I am 25 and have nothing to show. I want to have kids and a little house one day but you need money to do that.

  • Lisa O’Grady

    A A Young, I like your style. Too much time on our hands and short-sightedness don’t mix.
    Add reality TV, deadly cures for all ailments and handheld devices that allow you to link yourself to everyone and everything , everywhere, always while simultaneously mesmerizing you into a complete stupor for endless hours (daily? Weekly?)… disconnecting you from your duties, interests, family, work and friends. Of course everything is jacked up. We don’t waste our time speaking to each other anymore, connecting. We APOLOGIZE when we accidentally call someone when we intended to text!! Ridiculous! !
    My advice is simple. Serve others. Do it with all your heart. If you don’t feel compassion for others and and this doesn’t move you it’s because you have no experience truly having given of yourself for more than a weekend. Be real. Speak your mind. Be kind and truthful. And Care for someone besides yourself…this is the ONLY WAY to really know who you are and what you are made from.Get out of the house and go! Go today. There you will find the answers, and self worth…meaning…and true joy.

  • om

    To all those with fancy jobs… worked in the corporate world, lost job, ended up living at home with no future prospects or inspiration how to break this cycle of woe. Word of warning – don’t think you’ll be any happier outside of your current situation!! Learn to cultivate peace and harmony under any and all circumstances first. Just my two cents, that’s all!

  • Tushar

    I am 30. Think I am Bi-sexual ! Have job! Butt not making enough money ! I have no clue how my life will be in the coming years!

  • Tushar

    True !

  • LostWoman

    I just graduated and landed in a high paying job in the corporate world, but as i feared throughout: its a hell hole. There is so much of backstabbing and politics and bitching and … gosh, it drives me nuts! I am a simple girl and all this double talk and death race to “climb the ladder” is nuts. I am so lost and I swear, this is not what I want. But now, the worst part is: I don’t knw what I want! With the help of this post, I tried listing down what I really want to, but i can’t possibly take that step of going 4 what I want coz its just absolutely crazy. Sometimes I am so scared I just cry. Its a terrible world: without money, you have nothing, but what gives you the money is blood sucking and so evil :/ I am so scared. I really have no clue what to do in life!

  • caitlin

    You definitely can’t stay in a job that makes your life hell. If the money isn’t making you happy then its not worth it. I tend to think that happiness has no monetary value; it can’t be bought or sold. Maybe save up a little so that you aren’t destitute and give yourself a free year to figure out what you want? I really wish you the best and hope you get everything sorted out!

  • Sara

    I like your sugentions!! thanks

    See Emagreca Ja

  • This is fantastic, I know it is an oldy but will be refferencing it on my site shortly , i wrote an article about “what do you want to do in life?” recently, its quite long but relevant 🙂

  • Perth Mark

    I found this post very inspirational and has helped me to follow my dream. I’m from the UK and moved to Australia looking for sunny shores and better way of life and have been here nearly 5 years. Everyone I know seems to be settling down and I’ve never felt that way I have tried to be content with my job and tried dating but I just don’t want to settle and travelled a lot to realise there’s another side to every coin.

    I have decided at 27 to quit a job in IT I cant stand as I see it as a waste of time and booked a flight to LA to try make it as a musician the one thing I’m so passionate about, I have been playing the drums for 14 years and been a bit of a dreamer since I was a kid. But thinking why not you only live once and you never know what might happen and the people I may meet. I just love the buzz of playing in front of people and hearing people singing our songs and dancing crazy. Will be leaving a lot of great friends behind and don’t know where I will end up but the idea of working a job I am never going to get a buzz from like playing is not for me :).

    I just wanted people to see this post and realise people do follow there dreams if its after a girl, boy, lifestyle, musical you just need to believe and stay positive, hope you all realise what’s your drive in life is and follow it :).

  • Stuart Cheung

    Please connect with me, I may have a way of helping you , would love to hear from you.

  • Christopher Reasonover

    Hey everyone I’m only 18 years old but I’m already worrying about my future. I love sports especially football and basketball, however Im going to be going to college for business administrations but now I’m thinking I should do something with sports. My family has always wanted me to get a high paying job but I dont want to be stuck doing the same boring job my whole life. Do you guys know any good jobs in the sports industry that may be good for me?

  • Woo


  • Aviator

    I’m 16 and I’ve been thinking about what to do for about three years now. I know that I’m supposed to enjoy my youth as much as possible, but I want to find my true self before I end up in that crisis. I want to do many things, but I can’t pick one of them! I want to do them all. That’s why I’m inspiring to create some kind of business that I can run so I can do just that 🙂 I still have to start somewhere though…. NONE of my friends have the same inspiration to do stuff like I have…. And its killing me because I want them to succeed as well. I will continue to explore, and hopefully i’ll become something great.

  • darshan

    what if the person is always confused about his/her ambitions in life ? what he/she excatly want to be ? any suggestions for this please ?

  • A Student

    This has really helped me. Today I just graduated out of my class in 2014. People asked me what I wanted to do and I couldn’t answer them. I felt lost. Not knowing what i wanted to do. I hope I can find what it is I want to do to be happy and be successful. This has opened my mind to exploring myself and finding who I am and what i want to do in life. Thank you.

  • Cdigit

    I am 33 years old and I am a elementary teacher. I truly love working with children, it brings me great happiness seeing my students everyday. I am more than just a teacher, I am a Councelor, mother , father……. They are other things that deep down I know I can accomplish. Being a teacher I do not get pay well I can hardly pay back my loans. Sometimes I just feel very depressed and lonely. I absolutely love cosmetics and traveling. My biggest problem is that I don’t know where to start or even how to go about starting something that I love and that pays well

  • stoppostingthesekindofpostsplz

    This makes me depressed

  • Mondo

    Im only 18 and I feel really lost already. There is so much pressure on me to get any sort job and i hate it. I cant believe that im trying to get something that i know will make me hate getting up in the mornings. Due to the current economic troubles in my country (ireland) I cant find any decent jobs and i have to apply for jobs in places like KFC and Mcdonalds.

    My passion is music and my dream is to be in the industry in some way but reality is stopping me from doing it.
    One thing that helps me is going to festivals where i can just run away from the real world and forget about my problems but I always have to return at the end of it 🙁

  • roar68

    Hello.I’ve been unemployed for three years. Depressed 46 yo male. Renting, credit card maxed out, single & lonely. I’m not a professional but was a supervisor with only 10 people under me & a good person/worker. No one gives me a go. Barely scraping money for bills. Won’t have the money soon to pay registration for my 1998 car. Every corner I turn is a wall & I don’t know what to do anymore. I try trusting in God as most people say. Unfortunately that is waning too. If not for my son & fear of God I would gladly end my life. I see no hope at all.

    From my perspective you are winning, you have a job, a fancy car, big salary & so fort. I would rather be in your position right now. My soul is probably gone, my confidence is gone, & trust me when I stay I have been stripped & ripped inside me. Some nights I breakdown from the pain of my situation yet keep a staight face in front of everyone.

    Goodluck to whatever you’re pursuing & better the devil you know in the workplace too.

  • From Nebraska

    Hi im 29 yrs old I have worked descent jobs my whole life. The company I worked for a few yrs at closed and now im in a cubicle job that i am depressed at and dont get along with anyone no matter how hard I have tried. Ive trisd to look on the bright side but the light is very dim. I wish it as as easy for me to do what i love and move and be in the sports business but I support my 3 children and my wife and there are no sports around my whole state close to me..nebraska. I get to the point where I just want to end myself. I cant move somewhere else due to my wifes refusal. Im just stuck doing something i dread doing or my children go without. Any help or guidance would be appreciated.

  • Itse

    Really great article and explanation of that quote

  • kavin paker

    Have faith in yourself. I think you will be surprised by how much you will do, all in good time!
    Alps hotel

  • Malik Elm

    I’m 24 years old. I have absolutely no ambition. I see all my peers around me kill themselves staying up all night studying or writing that final paper and I just can never muster up the energy to do the same. I don’t see the point. I used to love school, I thought I would love college. Thought it would be a kind of intellectual adventure, but it seems to be more like an skill creating assembly line.

    I don’t want my entire educational experience to be about developing the skills I need for some 9-5 I can give all my energy and creativity to until the next generation comes. I want to explore reality, the arts, I want to learn and read for the sake of learning and reading…

    But classes aren’t structured this way, professors don’t teach this way.

    Its all about jobs.

    I’m content on working the night shit at a parking structure like I currently am–reading books that expand my mind and keep me growing.

    I don’t want a job for the rest of my life.

    I want to grow for the rest of my life.

  • Dabral Deepak

    Greeting to Everyone !!!
    I am 23 year old. I have read this entire discussion and I came to conclusion that if you want to lead a very happy life then two things should be considered.
    that there should be change in your life.
    change means change of thoughts, change of places, change of surroundings.
    if you are used to of same activities for times then you are on wrong way my friends.
    If you are not happy with your current thoughts change them.
    Make new friends, visit new places have fun.
    Don’t waste even single moment of your life.
    Bye. Take care.

  • James

    Hello. I am James. I am at a point of my life where I have no idea where to go at this point.
    I got my GED at 19, worked a few terrible jobs and ended up practically going insane at this one full time job I had because of office politics and such. Now I’m almost 21 and living back with my mother. I don’t have any college experience and no money for college either. I honestly don’t know what to do. I have an interest in the cosmos and astronomy and I also have a decent computer science background(not skilled enough to be a programmer yet though, probably a year away with studying.).
    I’ve self taught myself many things but it makes me depressed knowing I’d need to college for 4 years, get in crazy debt, work hard and live poor until I’m 40 to pay them off, all just to get a job that I could pretty easily do in less than a year from now of more studying on my own.
    I’m just at a point where I feel kind of trapped due to my past mistakes of not getting top grades in school, and as a result not being on a direct path to college.
    I’m kind of at a flat point and am in a rut and don’t know what to do next.


  • Sid

    I was crying before I read this, and after reading it I feel more confident and as if a lot of positive vibrations have opened up with me. This post truly tells you to find it all within you. Spirituality, Science or anything else, will only lead to one conclusion: WITHIN you. Thank you for writing this, very energetic and encouraging. I am going to read more of your posts now. Love.

  • Miami Beckham

    I have social Anxiety and reading this article has inspired me to change my life for the better. Theirs no need to avoid anything anymore just because theirs someone their to judge me. I was sat in exam today thinking what was the point. What is the meaning of life, but after reading this article, i have suddenly realized you live to be happy and there’s no point sitting there crying about how crap life is. Just get out there and live it!!!

  • Jessica

    Thank you so much for writing this! I am in college and am trying to find out what I want to do for the rest of my life as a career. I went in with one major that I thought I wanted to pursue but have been feeling like it isn’t right for me at all. So I decided to change it. That, however, just led to more uncertainty. But after reading this and answering the questions, I feel more confident that I am choosing the right path for me.

  • Child Of Language

    Perhaps it is the youth that clouds my gaze, for I am young in the eyes of many, but I am moved to commentate upon my discovery hereof.

    I have seen a decent portion of this world in my very short 15 years of life, but it is only upon my happening to this website that I am truly comprehending the aspects of this breathless universe.

    Most recently I have been faced with conflict in my heart, whose quarrel is far greater than I am able to control. My soul breaks for the thought that my dreams are impractical and that I should resist the urge to pursue them.

    From the shallowest quiver of my spirit I yearn to be a writer, whose swift and meaningful phrases might open doors to new light of that who beholds the line. But even as I dot this page with 1’s and 0’s that translate into intellectual garbage, I feel that this career is a joke in the eyes of others.

    Writing is unstable. It is beautiful, but it is impossibly unsure. And it is in the echoing voice of my father (now deceased) that I hear these phrases ring. I know that finances and compensation are a key aspect to any whom take upon the profession of breathing, but I am still despondent in accepting the principle that authorship is an unstable source of income.

    Despite this, answering these questions has led me to a new source of wealth.


    Though it does not pay the heating bill, and trying to ‘tip’ the pizza delivery man with a wise quote would earn me an angry phone call, knowledge is the key to opening all doors in life. While I may mutter through my every day, performing the necessary actions for respiration, I know that it is an opportunity, each time I open my eyes, to find inspiration.

    And it is this knowledge of the world that will lead me to success, whether financially, or spiritually.

    So, I beg of you, keep dreaming.

  • Lily

    To be honest, I’ve asked myself these questions, and I have nothing for almost all of them.

  • Aditz

    I am 19 and i feel like my whole life is over. The problem is that every one wants me to secure my future , get a job and then i could just work on my passion. Now they want me to go for engineering but personally i hate it. I mean you know i tried so many times i studied , studied and studied but since childhood i was among the bottom rankers. And i am just soo shy so life has always been pretty hard for me.

    Music is my only passion. I mean i feel it soo strongly. I could compose some tune or song in a few seconds or minutes. I play the piano,drums,beatbox,etc And i sing well too. and i am not saying this but the people who hear , often call me a “genius” and i get their “wows” and all. But the problem is that everyone thinks its of no use and its good just as a hobby but not as a career option. I am just so confused. What should i do?? And i am just like always into music its even there in my subconscious mind .

  • GG

    Now that is a very nice article..well written…and well arranged!

  • Bhuwan Bisht

    i read very carefully what ever you have written and i feel very good. i am not satisfied with my life, every time i think about what i am doing. i know i have good heart. as i am not good in studies but i am have done a diploma in computer hardware and networking and i am studying further through distance but i am not able to concentrate in my study as i am also working but not earning a small around Rs.16000 per month but i do hard work and people says that i am a patience full guy and i ready to do anything to grow up in my life and i want to peace of mind. i read things and see many videos to inspire so that i can do lot in this life. i know that my thinking about this world is very good. but i am just stuck. please help me. i am dying inside

  • Nicole M

    Hey Roar68 if you are depressed please seek help at a clinic/with a counselor/friend/minister…it’s important to get out of your own head sometimes. It sounds like your circumstances are tough, but you have to keep trying. I have bipolar disorder and have experienced the soulless feeling- it is so crushing, but it doesn’t have to be a permanent state. I’m not sure what you end up doing on a daily basis, but maybe starting your days with a beautiful walk could help. I wish you the best. I once thought I’d only be a burden and a waste of a life, but I’ve been working as a flight attendant for the last six years, have many nieces and nephews to love and family and friends to connect with regularly. I wish for you the same and more. Take care!

  • Nicole M

    Maybe you can become a flight attendant. Yes, you would likely be part of an imperfect corporation, but in your free time you can travel, hostels are cheap to stay in as you don’t get paid much when you’re new. I just spent the night in downtown Atlanta, recently hiked in Montana, previously snorkeling in Guam and exploring in Amsterdam etc. and all for ‘work’. There can be a lot of fakeness, but you can easily just do your own thing and ignore what you don’t like. Best wishes, Aaron.

  • Nicole M

    So simple and so true. I often get stuck in the same, negative thought patterns. What makes me feel best, though it may not work for everyone, is to make big changes. Like moving in with my boyfriend (spending time with him has become a bigger priority than ‘cleaning’ my apartment), taking a job as a flight attendant (most other jobs seemed to need a car (in my old small town), moved out of state to a new base. I also stopped taking mood stabilizers after about 13 years on them….they kept me alive and got me through college, but without the old stressors of school and an imperfect family, I can keep balanced enough with other means…or I’m tired enough from work and travel that my body can’t follow my ‘crazy’ mind.

  • Nicole M

    Check out the movie I Am by Tom Shadyac (director of many Jim Carrey movies) sounds like it is right up your alley!

  • Nicole M

    I feel I have more in me, as well. I had such big, varying dreams when I was younger. Now I am 31, held the same job for six years and counting and I’m trying to make each day more meaningful than the last. Taking care in the little things and being kind and true to yourself go a long way. I wanted to change the world, not be a flight attendant, but I am now pretty content with my job…it is my free time that needs attention. I also, don’t feel passionate about much, but there are plenty of moments that I cherish and for now it is enough….more practically- I plan to start volunteering for become a ‘Big Sister’ in the near future. I used to think I wasn’t worthy enough, but I’m finding my strengths and making a connection with people is priceless. Best wishes.

  • Nicole M

    I found this little card on the plane- Front: Contentment Back:
    Lord, help me to be grateful fro what I have, to remember that I do’t need most of what I want, and that joy is found in simplicity and generosity. (Enough by Adam Hamilton) I’m not ‘religious’, but this little prayer seemed very fitting.

  • Nicole M

    Join me at Delta (or another airline) try out being a flight attendant- it has it’s pitfalls, but there is much to enjoy with this job- meeting SO MANY new people, staying in hotels, traveling, parents get free flying (at least at my airline), no 9-5…, I’m tired….starting to sound like an infomercial. Ha… goodnight and best wishes- you sound like such a caring and creative person- take care!

  • MonaVegas

    I’ve been really depressed and down for weeks now. After my last escapade (moving to Boston then coming back home,) I’ve felt very beaten down. Having to beg for my job back, move back in with my parents, find my own place and work myself to the bone to keep this new place while loosing my mind waiting tables for ungrateful, snooty customers. Whilst being scolded and humiliated by my bosses. Prior to moving to boston, i was very happy and hopeful. But its seemed to all fall thru the roof with my move back to CT.
    Answering these questions really did make me feel better. It made me think about everything i appreciate, and everything i would do not only to make my life better, but my families too.

    I’ve got to help my sister with her chronic depression, my dad is in awful health, and my mom works so much and so hard for such little pay. Keeping it together in these times is a very hard thing to do. And I’m only twenty. The real world is hard, and its been even harder trying to keep my cool while simultaneously help my family and work. Meanwhile, everyone I know whose my age has it wicked easy. They’re families are well off and healthy, they go to amazing colleges and hardly have to work… I often times get jealous of this, and I get bitter and angry that my life isn’t the same way.

    But seeing my answers actually made me realize that I don’t need a fancy school or perfect family to be happy. I wouldn’t trade my family for anyone elses in the world. I love them, I’d do anything for them, and I’m trying my absolute best. I shouldn’t beat myself up, but I do.

    I’m also very lonely, and don’t have many friends. But just taking the time to answer the questions honestly and really work on them has made me feel at least 75% better then I have been feeling lately. So often we forget whats important to us, we let our dreams and hopes drown in the misery of everyday life.
    We just have to keep on moving, and hold whats dear to us closer than the bad sh*t in the world.

  • barbe

    I just happened to google something that this article came up first and at 25 feel exactly that. I didn’t have the most privileged upbringing, but it wasn’t bad. I made bad choices, work when I should have been enjoying class trips, worked my butt off to get back to school and eventually finished college in Business Admin Accounting.
    I already hate it. I’m not a sit around and push papers and fake smile to people and be polite on the phone with people who take nonsense out on you.

    I thought this was the logical and reasonable decision to make when I decided to go to school, that it’s what I’m suppose to do. Family constantly sending me job postings for higher paying jobs that would suck the life from me more, because you’re suppose to work and make money and buy a house and start a family and that’s the way it’s suppose to be. I’ve decided I’ve never been like everyone else, so doing what everyone else does doesn’t work for me. Since having to be “grown up”, I’ve become very cynical, terrible anxiety that they want to give you anti depressants for, and all around negative mind set.

    I have been in a relationship for over 6 years now to a great person, but with everything going on have someone just lost all feeling or interest. I feel I have ultimately want to shed everything and start new. I just don’t have the slightest clue how, especially now that I have wonderful school loans.

    I don’t want the long term career and the house and the fancy wedding and kids. I want adventures. To live and work and explore new places and try different things to figure out what it is I might actually be able to handle doing my whole life.

  • Kristel

    Hi new_girl
    I’ve been in that exact same situation, and I now actually feel almost happy again. Would you like to connect and I can tell you my story? I’m 28 by the way. I have a blog now to try to inspire young women like you and I to dream, it’s still very new and I’m finding my way too. Xox Kristel

  • kristel

    Hi LostWoman
    Did you find a solution to your problem? I’ve been in the exact same situation you just described. It was horrible!! But I’m in a completely different place now, both geographically and mentally. Let me know if you want to chat! I’ve started a blog to help young women like us. I would love to hear your thoughts so that I can do an even better job at that! xox Kristel (i’m 28 by the way)

  • Aan Raisa

    I am confused. I tried my best to answer question number 2 and i have come to realize that there is absolutely nothing i did in the past 18 years of my life for which i would feel proud of.
    Until now, all i ever wanted is to make my parents feel proud of me the way they feel for my other siblings but that never happened as i am an average scholar unlike my brother and sister. i even let them choose my career just so because i didn’t want to disappoint them and give them all the happiness in the world. While following that path, i might have lost myself. I just don’t know what I want from life, what i am passionate about and what I REALLY want! All i know is that i am very unhappy. I don’t want to end up doing something that i don’t enjoy.

    I am just unhappy and i can not overcome my fears and go tell my parents that ‘THIS IS NOT WHAT I WANT!’. What do i do?

  • Mark

    I don’t quite understand the exercise. What should I be doing with the answers to these questions? Are we looking for patterns? How am I supposed to interpret the answers to these questions in order to help me change gears and try something new?


  • Rose

    The things you listed that you love to do right away told me you would love living in the Upper Peninsula of Michigan. Because that is what you do here

  • Mark

    I’m wonder how we are supposed to interpret the answers to the above 6 questions. Once we have created a detailed list, then what? What is this exercise supposed to tell us, or better yet, what are we supposed to get out of this exercise?

  • Wes Bakos


  • Victoria Penman

    I read your comment & teared up.. I hope things get better & go well with you.. After reading this article and questions I too am still trying to answer them & I’m 21.. I say go for what u want to do that makes you happy its YOUR life & you ONLY have one so live it up.. 50 is a beautiful age. I wish to stay alive to that age.

  • LJS

    Thank-you so much for this; i’ve been trying to work out for ages what to do with my life, i’m only 18 but college pressured me, insisting I have to decide there and then. I was going to study English ans Creative writing at uni as i’m a poet, but realise now that it is just a hobby; I mainly want to help people so will do a childcare apprenticeship instead. I’ve finally realised what I want from life. Who cares about the money? Go do something you love, let God help you with the rest!

    I hope other people are helped by this also;
    God bless, and good luck in your future careers!

  • LozzaJS

    There is a way to get through all this; I know people who have felt this way, and thought that this is the best way to solve your problems. Perhaps it will end your pain, but there is a better way, that will help you with the pain and be able to live on. From experience, I know that God can help anyone; he helped me when I was at my worst, and i’m finally in a good place. I pray that you will find God, and let him into your life. I pray that you will know God’s healing and comfort, that you will finally feel peace. “There may be pain in the night, but joy comes in the morning.”- My absolute favourite bible verse (slightly modernised), it helps me through so much knowing that things will get better with the help of my saviour.
    I hope that you find this peace and comfort without resorting to harming anyone. God Bless You.

  • vikashd23

    You have to look inside of you. Search the answer within self.

  • Sathyaventhan

    U have to do heigher studies and try to take tution it will help to get pay

  • scared101

    god…I’m going into finance and you just confirmed all my fears..

    I hope everything worked out for you.

  • William

    Thanks, I needed this today.

  • arjun sen

    what do i do if i feel tough to choose ma goal ? badly cunfused please help me out

  • Inspire with a smile

    To endure the greatness of life, simply walk to the edge of all things in life. You don’t have to step off, jump, or even climb down just yet, but instead? Look at all limitations and consequences with a peaceful emotion. Explore the possibilities with simplicity, take it all in. Check it out missy, the world is yours for the idealism of who you really want to be, and in path of who you truly, already are. This is what I live by. Just always remember, the heart may not always be right in making decision? But it sure can be fun. 😉

  • Never give up on dreams

    Actually friends, we must look out for our own kind. Fear of the youth’s rapidly climbing intelligence in our day in age puts fear to the mind. Psychologically and pathologically surprising as it might seem, but they think they know what they are doing, I think a lot of us can vouch for corruption being seen more and more these days. I think if we put our attention on our children’s ways and that wisdom should be more valued than anything in this world. Slowly, we could change evolution. I wad never to say something was impossible. I don’t give up on a dream. When the ones that once laughed at you for following your heart, see you

  • Fathers love inherited.

    My sweetest friend, we all go away in the end. You don’t choose it. When the moment of being able to look into your babies eyes when they tell you they love you, you need to put yourself in a spot that you feel no other human in this world. Oils interrupt. Now here is your reward, your challenge, your greatest gift. Ready? It’s yourself…because without you daddy, they would t know love. A fathers love is sacred. My father had no middle school, or high school education, he was raising me as a child in his 50s. He worked in the logging industries. Back breaking job. I would watch my father wAlk in everyday, looking sad, tired, shirt soles with sweat from his heD to his ankles. But when he heard me say daddy? It’s acted as if he didn’t even go to work, full of energy and ready to play with me u till the sun went down. My mother cheated on him for 40 years. When she was gone through the night, daddy was right there beside us. Cooking, playing, watching tv, trying to play Atari with us. When I became a man. My first love that I almost married, cheated on me with my life long beat friend. Talking about depression. When this woman was pregnant with my first son. I took care of her. Probably spoiled her. But it’s ok. That is what a man is suppose to do. Spoil your wife as if you would your child.

  • Tony Giant

    Really nice article. I’m at a loss. I’m 25. I never attended University or even College (I rarely went to school). I come from humble beginnings, rather cliche if I’m honest. Single mother. Father was an alcoholic. Spent some time in prison when I was younger. Nothing serious, just a combination of alcohol, stupidity and the wrong crowd. I saw the path I was on and it wasn’t the life I wanted. I taught myself Software Development and talked my way into a very well paid job after progressing through jobs like Sales Executive, Marketing Executive and Business Development Manager.

    I was happy to begin with. I was managing very substantial contracts globally in no time. After a while though, working in a corporate environment was draining the life out of me and life at home with my girlfriend wasn’t going as expected. I saw myself becoming a different person, a miserable person. It was time to take action and after a rather rough break up (I left her as I didn’t think I was right for her, I still love her to this day). I decided enough was enough.

    I sold pretty much everything I had worked for and I quit my job. I left my home country with very little money and started traveling the world. I knew it wasn’t going to be easy but I didn’t care, if I had to live on a beach somewhere surely that would be better than the daily grind. I had great ambition, ambition to do good and achieve more.

    I was gone for over a year, it was a crazy year. I met lots of people and some of the situations I found myself in was on a whole new level, but I felt alive. Something changed in me though. I lost all motivation and started asking myself what am I meant to do with my life? I returned home to my country.

    I’ve been back for around a year. I’m lost now. I don’t know what I’m meant to do. I don’t even know what I enjoy anymore. I started a business and let it all fall apart, I don’t know why. I can’t find any inspiration or motivation to drive me forward. I’ve even been to some job interviews and I’ve been cringing all the way through them… that’s not who I am anymore, I think.

    I currently find myself just wasting my days away, doing nothing. I tried answering your questions and I can’t even do that. I don’t know what I love anymore. I can’t even class myself as having achieved anything, things that I would have been proud of before mean nothing to me now. Questions three and four are interesting to me. I like to think that I don’t care what people think or expect of me and I like to think I have no limits. The problem for me is that, if you have no limits AND no direction the inability to choose a path becomes your limitation, you become stuck in a spot looking for a direction to move in, if that makes sense. If you were to hand me a billion dollars I don’t know what I would do with it anymore, this worries me as it’s not the kind of response I would have answered with at any previous point in my life.

    I just want to be happy, actually, content would suffice. Anyway, thanks for taking the time to read this. I haven’t spoke to a single person about this but the post and some comments pushed me forward to ask for advice. I’m not one for asking for help or advice from others.

  • Fathers love

    So, I came to my father hurt, angry, but mostly. Feeling like I lost everything I was trying for in my fathers shoes. I asked how he done it. Not to bring up religion, just trying to explain a heart warming situation with simplicity and honesty. He said to me that when everyone tortured gods son, how do you think he felt? But still…and most of all, he forgave. Forgiveness has been lost for a long while amongst this earth. Now look at how corrupted it’s becoming, but faster Nd faster everyday. Son, being able to forgive someone no matter whAt, you first have to forgive yourself. Forgive yourself for every wrong thing you have ever done. And you will see how much more at peace that not only will you be with yourself. But it be as if a sheild surrounded you and you became almost untouchable. It’s just that simple. Ok so I thought my dAd was a weirdo at times. But he had a sharp mind and a greAt memory. Ok young man, do not give up on those babies. If I had more time I could tell you some pretty amazing and pretty depressing things that has bring to your state of mind before. But rose up above it all. I became powerful with my mind, but with tools of my heart and soul to guide me because they where right where they needed to be. My heart wAs right, and my soul was pure. But my mind, like I said, willpower, determination, dedication, will as strong the army of Troy. It guided into greatness. I’m sorry you never knew your father. I can’t imagine that. But you can be to those babies. What you have always wanted to see. When you look back. I promise you, on that day, you will remember this message of this anonymous man sending out his heart to yours because he knows, that within you sir. Is fore no many men can stomp out but you. Just remember, that fire, is what’s keeping those babies warm, fed and clothed. God bless you, from underdog who rose up from the absolutes of nothing, and gained love of a child he can call his son. Just like you. God bless you and your path. But your journey is not done sir.

  • Inspire those who inpsire you

    Me either drifter. Talking about stubborn and a bad temper but with the IQ of a geniuses. Doesn’t give you an easy landing when it comes to trying to relax and focus.I had the amount of passion for vengeance that devil himself would have only wished to have. I still changed. I channelled every lost purpose in my life, into motivation. I stood up, and I finished my dream. To endure the greatness of life, simply walk to the edge of all things in life. You don’t have to step off, jump, or even climb down just yet, but instead? Look at all limitations and consequences with peacexplore the possibilities with simplicity, take it all in. the world is yours for the idealism of who you really want to be, and in path of who you truly, already are. This is what I live by. Just always remember, the heart may not always be right in making decision? But it sure can be fun. 😉

  • Share your inspiration

    Secure your sons future, get it quick, but get it as honest as you can. Stop at nothing. His everything, should be your anything of good nature. Focus on him. Teach him wisdom in decision making. How was anything made? With 1 dream from one thought then blew up into many dreams and ect. Anyone who came from nothing has someone to appreciate for believing in them . Even if it where only themselves. Teach him to pay it forward. Daily. Want to see what you want in life? I’m sure your son will be more then happy to be right beside you through it all. Does the nice car help you two to connect as not only father and son on a daily drive, but as friends as we’ll? If so? Keep the car. See what in getting at? You’ve accomplished enough to know that wherever you go your skills could become valued in gaining it all back, if had to, or shall I say, wanted to 😉

  • WeDontStopHere.

    Ok…these people right here, we can change evolution with inspiration. If one movie can make billions of dollars by attracting everyone’s attention. Then so can I. And it’s not impossible. We may not be able to experience the new age evolution that can be defined and changed by our wisdom and obedience we instill in our children? Hey, I don’t about you, but I would like for the future siblings to look back and say one day, wow, they where the beginning of our future peace we now have because they believed in a dream and stopped at nothing to pursuit it! And most of all? It was for an outstanding cause, new world peace. All because we decided to make our time with them , valued in every second as of if it where our last. would love to help more. Stay inspiring ladies and gentlemen.

  • Sofia

    Thank you for sharing this Tony Giant. While our experiences are surely different, you expressed so clearly and simply the way I feel too.

    Turning 25 in a week, having left my home country, living in a foreign one at the moment, having done what I was supposed to up to this point (and perhaps still doing it), yet feeling totally and hopelessly empty and unaccomplished inside.

    I can’t answer most of those questions either. It scares me how detached I am from who I am. I ask myself “What do you love in life”, and I can’t feel anything – I can’t find an answer.

    Anyhow, this is just to say that I *feel* you, and hope you’ll be able to find your path soon!

  • E, No Direction A Mirage

    Well, I feel I’m a highly intellectual person. The choices in my life, have been wrong. I go right and should’ve went left. Went left and should’ve went right. I’ve anointed myself in a atmospheric realm that I have no place or foundings to validate that. My success has been 17 plus years ago and I still hold on to that. Tried being compassionate, sensitive, caring and thoughtful to others. My family see that there’s no hope for a particular individual, but I continue on.In turn I fall, and dont give up then I see what my family was saying. Then I’m in too deep, alterations and concessions in my being, then I sit n soak in pity. I feel as each day goes by I’m not living to my expectations, what I envisioned my life to be. I feel so ashamed and a failure to myself and my family. I’ve tried to use drugs to mask my ache and it only last for a moment, and it’s larger than what it was. I can articulate myself very well and I feel above average, but I have nothing to show for it. The perils of LIFE.

  • Chris

    I sometimes feel like I am struggling with every bad thing that can happen. I suffer from social anxiety, and as it has gotten a bit better, its still an issue I deal with everyday. Im only 25 years old but I don’t find that as an excuse to not have my life together, as everyone tells me. Everything I have tried up to now has failed. I thought I loved what I was doing, I thought I was going to make a career out of it, only to find out I didn’t and I wasn’t. I have such a fear of failure that I don’t want to try and pursue anything. Im stuck at a dead end job that doesn’t fulfill me, it doesn’t make me happy, I dread going into work each and every day. But its my bubble that I’m “ok” in. Im not anxious there because I know all of the people and its a routine I’m used to. I know what today, tomorrow and next week are going to be. Anythings outside of those 4 walls scares the living hell out of me. What would people think was my reason for leaving? What would they think of me if I wasn’t exactly what they were looking for? I don’t want to be judged and bullied again. My fear of the unknown has pushed back my love and passion for what I want to do. While I can answer these 6 questions, I don’t know what to think of my answers, or how to put them together to truly discover who I want to be, and where I want to be.

  • Tony Giant

    Hi Sofia, thank you for your reply. I wasn’t always like this, I used to enjoy the simple things in life. Eating mango’s on a beach for breakfast, watching the sky on a starry night. Now I feel nothing, it’s like I’m dead inside.

    I know that one day, I’ll find myself again and you will too. What lies behind us and what lies ahead of us are tiny matters compared to what lives within us. I hope you have a nice birthday Sofia and I hope you find happiness.

  • Amit

    I am losing interest in anything around me………as i am not able to express myself in front of the people:(:(:(
    The reason which i know is my inner complexive thoughts through which i cant make eye contact around the people to whom i am talking or being around!!!!!!!

  • MusicsChild

    This may sound dumb… but I’m only 16 years old. While it may seem ridiculous for someone of my age to be worried about something so far in the future, its a constant stress for me. My older sister started college last year, and I will be a junior in high school this fall. I’m constantly seeing things about college visits, scholarships, etc. Always asked what I plan on doing. I know what I want. But its not ‘practical’. So each time I’m asked I answer: “I’m not sure yet, but I’ll probably get a degree in business and open my own dance studio.” That’s something I WANT to do, but later on in life, maybe when I’m just passed middle aged… What I really want though… I want to write music, perform and inspire others through my music and dance. But like I said, not ‘practical’ or ‘secure’. But I guess in the end, if my passion is strong enough, I’ll chase the dream that I’m passionate about. Practical or NOT.

  • Time

    but if you do not know the answer to any of these questions because you dnt know how to be honest with yourself

  • jinal rathod

    williams wordsworth’s poems

  • jinal

    i need them 😛

  • Zeke

    Powerful stuff.

  • joe

    i want to do exactly the same, how did you get on with the peace corp? im 25 and dying to travel but it seems a massive step on your own

  • joe

    i feel exactly the same way im 25 but its been building up for years now, i feel like i just want to explode and live life to the fullest but it also seems so hard and distant. i would like to know how other people have overcome this, please connect with me if you want to talk about it, anybody that has experienced this.

  • joe

    did you change ? you sound exactly like me im 25 and dying to do something just wish i could find something to aim for

  • joe

    your never too old dennis ! and you sound like such a great man, im 25 and desperate to do something but im also scared of doing things on my own

  • Anunit

    I just turned 22. Month ago I graduated one of the best universities in my country. I work for 2 years already at good position with a very good salary (at least in my country ) . From time to time I travel to different countries , it is my passion . But I still feel that I’m not doing right thing with my life. Even though every day I convince myself that I’m lucky person to have such a good career at such an early age I feel that this is not what I want to do. I’m scared to quit my job, scared that my family my relatives and friends will judge me for such action . They will call me irresponsible person. I want to be brave enough to stand for my dreams. I want to be free of those four walls I have to sit in every days for 8 hours and do the job which is useless for me personally . It does not help me to grow, to study something new. I start feeling like I’m a robot.

  • Sad

    nope. age 13 and im trapped in the governments education system. NOTHING, no article, wisdom, religion, 6 questions will help me escape this hell that is high school. still depressed after this article. not your fault. it’s the governments.

  • shreya

    My parents always do wit me what they want i Live Like In Family Like Prisnor I Did Nt do N E Thing In Life What i Want I Love One Man He Also Be Me As He Want I Want To Do What I Want One Undstand Me But I Want free Life They think Only for Society not My Happines I Want To come out Of All This

  • sandeep

    hi im sandeep im 30 years lady im trobling in my life financialy cricies happen in my life i dont know how can i full fill it so i decided to give up my life i dont want to live any more because people will not let me please some one help me for the same please

  • He is

    These posts are very interesting. I wonder if anyone is seeing a trend in the responses. From the rich to poor; from the successful to the unsuccessful, everyone seems to be having the same problem. Take it from me, no matter where you go or what you do, as long as you walk the earth living according to the system of the world… There will always be a void. That void can only be filled by an Ultimate Concern. When you attempt to fill the void with something finite, you fail…every time. That Ultimate Concern is Jesus Christ. If you don’t believe me, look in the mirror in a few years and ask yourself if you still feel empty.

  • He Is

    These posts are very interesting. I wonder if anyone is seeing a trend in the responses. From the rich to poor; from the successful to the unsuccessful, everyone seems to be having the same problem. Take it from me, no matter where you go or what you do, as long as you walk the earth living according to the system of the world… There will always be a void. That void can only be filled by an Ultimate Concern. When you attempt to fill the void with something finite, you fail…every time. That Ultimate Concern is Jesus Christ. If you don’t believe me, look in the mirror in a few years and ask yourself if you still feel empty.

  • Tony

    I cant answer not one question… Surprisingly I feel empty .. especially the first question, nothing…. Whyy?

  • nobiwan

    The problem I have is that I run into my pathology and coping strategies when I try to do this. Needs? What are needs? My needs and wants have been denied since my earliest memories. They never mattered to my parents and eventually, they stopped mattering to me. Like the Eagle’s song “Desperado”, I’ve lost all my highs and lows. I don’t know what I love or what I want. I wonder what it would be like to matter. The only time’s I feel like I matter is when I’m being helpful to someone else, the blind man who can’t find the escalator in the train station, or giving money to the homeless woman sitting by the street lamp outside (I can’t imagine how hard and dangerous her life is.) Staying late at the office and doing what needs to be done when everyone else is leaving for an early weekend or holiday. But now that the internet exists, I’ve learned that being helpful actually just shows people that I’m needy and desperate. I’ve learned to live an solitary Spartan life of zero expectations. Not much for highs or lows, but I can function in it because I understand that I’m on my own.
    So many here hate their work. I love my work. It’s one place where I feel like I belong. This too is probably a mistake because contrary to the famous line, I actually am my job. I don’t have a reason to exist outside of it.

  • zaza

    I’ve worked for years in hospital software (HIT), for the past 8 years I’ve moved from job to job because I found reasons why I didn’t like the company or organization I worked for. I hoped that a different company would make me feel fulfilled or something that I enjoyed going to work each day for. Now I’m starting to realized that it’s me, not the companies, that I’m not happy with. I don’t think it matters what company I work for, because I’m not doing something that makes me happy or fulfilled or that I really want to do. I’m just working to pay bills. But I don’t know what I want to do or what I feel passionate about.

  • lost

    I am 20 years old and I have been unemployed for 7 months, I feel so depressed without any income or real path in life. I have been trying so hard to find work to improve my finances but so far i haven’t been successful, I have also tried the education route, but with no real passion or direction i want to go in, I havent any real drive to take further education as i dont really know what to do!
    All i know is that i would love to work for myself and travel as much as I can, but i have no clue which direction to go! I feel so lost and I have nobody that I can relate to :(((

  • vivek kumar choubey

    I am going
    to be 39. it was the last chance when I could have a government job. for this I
    did where hard practice. I got coaching.I did typing practice at least 8 hover
    every day. I worship 2 hover every day. went to temple daily. all thing which
    was told me by my brothers. and guru. I speared in exam. last month. and last
    weak result declared on net. I saw mostly friends of my coaching were selected.
    I was failed.once again in my life. I have 20 members in my life my four
    brother are in government job. my lovely mother who is 86 year old. who always
    worry for me. my wife. one year old child. many niece and nephew. all were very
    hopeful that this time I will be selected. they ask for gift. this was very
    gold chance, opportunity which I lose. I still didn’t tell anyone for my
    result. my all expectation, hope, and dream were jointed to this job. I lost
    easy and golden and last chance of my l Life. I have came back in that life
    where all is in dark. I have no money. no own home (I am living in joint family
    ) and fully depended on my family. I am tired of such bounded type of life. I
    know this failure very I think of leaving home and go to vrindaven
    in the feet of lord krishna. (to be sadhu) or to die. what should I do.

  • Gypsy

    Maybe a cert 3 in tourism? Then get a job at say a flight centre unless you’ve already travelled to 2 countries already which you can apply with them now. I was 24 (now 32) and I was a bit lost with what I wanted to do, I had travelled to 2 countries worked in retail so I applied with them sold myself at the interview and landed the job. I worked with them for 6 years travelled 29 countries, meet amazing people and had a blast! I am a full travel addict now! It’s an amazing job to have selling peoples dreams to them everyday and fulfilling some of your own. I’m now a SAHM raising my 2 year old until I figure out my next career path when she starts school.
    It’s tough not knowing what you want to “do” with your life but if you know you want to travel your half way there to figuring it out. Good luck and enjoy the journey!

  • BelieverT

    I for a moment thought I had life figured out and then suddenly things fell apart..
    I am not sure how I am going to deal with everything now but I am trying my best to stand up and not look back. I havent achieved much in life but I dont look at materialistic accomplishments, I have given my best to whoever needed me and now I feel like I dont have those who had me. I am not the kind to sit and stop my life because of one down fall but I feel like I am lacking motivation and inspiration..
    I am not sure what we are supposed to do here but I just needed to vent out so I followed my intuition.

  • BuildinK

    Hello everyone,
    At this stage in my life, I am more confused, anxious, worried and truly unhappy with most decisions I have made with regards to jobs, business and life. I am going to be 42 in a few weeks and it frightens me to look back at my track record of hard work, lot’s of mess us and after all these years I have not moved forward. In the past 20 years I’ve been working as a property manager dealing with many issues and people on a daily basis, I AM the problem solve, the mediator, the psychiatrist, the Boss, the employee, the good guy, bad guy and all that comes with the job. In the past years I have also tried opening up different businesses to get me out of property management, unfortunately no success. My current project which is now draining my finances and I may lose a huge amount of money on is in limbo. I maxed out my projected finaces due to unforeseen circumstances, I am about 90% completed, almost two years in the opening, still a property manager and have now lost that push and desire to open the business. I am putting it up for sale hoping to at least get 50% of my investment back. I have one toddler and a second child arriving soon (Thank you God), but my worries have taken me into this unwated blackhole feeling that I can’t seem to find a way out. I am rarely happy, dont enjoy time with my family as I wish I could and every day I find myself doing the same things when I get home. I sit on the computer and begin researching “possibilities”. Today for som ereason I found this site. Not sure why but now I am hear and hopefully someone is reading this.
    Anyway………….My passion is desiging furniture pieces, facades for homes, buildings and other construction & design ideas. I did a few courses years ago but never certified in the field, my work is amateurish but ideas are pretty good. I helped design a home for my Dad years ago, a small building for my inlaws and completed a couple of projects on my own.
    My dream is to become a developer and design and build houses, townhouses and small scall buildings. I dream of this but I am far from the goal. Financially can’t be done at this moment and by needing to work a regular job I have no way to go back to school.
    with everything that has gone wrong in the past years I still have hopes and visions on becoming this developer. The question I ask is how do I get closer and closer to make this happen? Difficult but not important to answer. I think I may have just answered it. I need to focus my time on trying to figure a way to go back to school or perhaps begin creating a few projects (sketches) on my free time and trying to make some contacts? Just need to keep that positive feeling going……………..(that’s the hard part).
    My reason for writing all this was to share another persons agony and anxiety but also transmit to you the possibilities we all have even while going through these unhappy, stressful and disheartening phases. Let’s keep moving forward to one day make another person or family happy. Plant good seeds to collect good seeds.
    Thank you for reading. All words andsuggestions or guidance is well accepted.

  • Ignorant Westerner

    I thought that Buddists believe that there is no inherent “self” – that it is an illusion

  • Mea Culpa

    There are a LOT of young and no so young girls/women making $20,000+/month on youtube talking about their favorite make-ups, dresses, daily lives, etc. which by the way, it annoys the c rap out of me. My girlfriend is hooked with them. She watches make-up videos every night as wells the girls’ daily lives, etc. I believe Youtube used to pay about $3,000 per million views (could be more or less now) when I was into Google Adsense and took a look at their Youtube program around 6-7 years ago . Also, if you have a decent number of subscribers, cosmetics’ companies will start contacting you to promote their products. That’s where the big money is. The more videos you make the more subscribers you will have. Extra videos of your daily life (shopping, going out eating with your boyfriend, being silly, whining, crying, putting make-up on, bad days, talking crap, being human) will attract millions of women out there. You can do that after work and weekends.

    You can choose any topic you want to make youtube videos and I think you’ll make money. Traveling is a high paying keyword. There is a lot of money thrown to it by advertisers on youtube and on the web. Teaching English pronunciation, grammar, and everything related might attract ESL, grammar, translation program advertisers, don’t know. You have to know who fuels the specific field online. I do know for a fact that there is big money behind cosmetics and traveling. Solely making videos about your life I believe is a money making field too. You are marketing to millions of people out there with “boring” lives. Research all about how to make money with youtube videos, if you are interested.

    Good luck.

  • Pepper

    James this is a beautiful post, I really appreciate it. I hope you read this comment, I’m going to pour my heart out.
    I’m 18 and I believed I had my whole life plan together, things had been going great for a year with my blossoming career. Just a few weeks ago, it all came crashing down, so to speak. I am lost trully, I fear for my future (by means, I feel as though what I want may not manifest). And the reason I fear that is because I have no clue HOW to change my life into that direction I want it to go. I did it with the last opportunity which I thought was going to be the golden one but it wasn’t.
    I know what I want in this life, I could recite it like a play over and over again. I’ve read new age novels, spiritual articles, biographies of inspirational people, but in my life and what I want, I don’t know HOW to. And the end all is that I don’t have that answer. It seems as though I’m at a cross roads with time and I thought asking for extra guidance from someone like yourself would help. Thank you.

  • Tom

    Sentimental, esoteric rubbish for the sole purpose of selling books and making money from people who are weak/feeling a bit down.

    Take for example the question of ‘what would I do with one billion dollars?’ In the immediate this provides a lift due to the freedom that such a thought provides, but it has no real bearing on reality.

    Disappointment and unhappiness comes through high expectation. Lower your expectations for life, see the world as it truly is, and you are starting on the road to happiness.

    Your work/career is there for you to make money doing something bearable so you can enjoy being able to do the things you love. As soon as you make the things you love your career they will stop being the things you love. Everything in moderation.

  • beachgal

    it’s okay to help others and then feel good about. you aren’t needy or desperate. it’s a wonderful quality for whatever reason. what if everyone thought that way? then no one would help others for fear of being labeled “needy” or “desperate”. Life should be lived in service to others. I loved my work too, but service to others is the key to happiness and harmony. you do matter.

  • yasser raja

    Thank you sooooo much James Mc Whinney. You are one of the best ever. I have been a corporate trainer. I now realised that I really love what I do. The only thing I hate is my job. I have been running behind my commitments and I totally went through a depression due to a lot of personal problems. I have clearly decided what I want. Something on the the same lines as you. I’m going to CHANGE LIVES and help the society succeed. I’m beginning it today and right now. The first life I’m gonna transform is MY LIFE. I’m beginning my journey NOW! Yes NOW!!!! THANK YOUUUUU VERYYYY MUCH!

  • milli

    i did engineering..i did not want that and i took education loan for that…in study time i was so negative and still i become so negative some time..when i think i have no job to pay my loan..still i m searching and struggling for job…but really i m not interested in doing job…i m student at Brahmakumaries spiritaul university…i got unique knowledge there which is given by GOD i want to spread that in whole world,i like to do help people..but need money for loan and to full fill my daily needs….what should i do in this situation…. this is my email id can anyone help..

  • bob

    I want to bang hot girls 3-4 times per day, do drugs, go to the gym and pretty much travel the world how do I make money doing that lol

  • ion

    I am 19. And I am lost in my goal of life.
    I enter the faculty of architecture that I thought I want. I want to lead my life to something not ordinary – however I found that I am just ordinary as ordinary people. No knowledge fed within my soul but only texts or content in exams.
    Other people are so bright and so happy and I am burying myself in books and helpless to set a standard for myself. I think I am not one of them – great story tellers but I wanna be one of them(?)
    I am so contradictory within myself . I want to live differently but my boundaries are trapping myself so hard… So hard to become “successful”.
    If I don’t like social and just wanna do something I want – would I be able to survive?
    I feel like I am nearly drown in the Ocean.

  • ion

    I can’t find passion in life or I am actually passionate to almost everything but I cannot find one to get hold of.
    What should I do if I only get satisfaction in exams but now the only thing is disappearing so as my self competence -.-
    btw, I don’t like to play – I just wanna work hard to achieve something

  • Pragya

    Hi James,
    My experience is exactly same. You have touched my heart. I feel that i am at crossroad and don’t know where to go. I have pissed off my career experimenting so many things but still not sure what to do! I hope i will be able to explore like you did! Wish me luck..



  • Miriam1993

    I’m a soon to graduate college student and I have no idea what I want to do with my life. I am to idealist. I don’t like my creativeness to be constrained. Another thing is that I am too dreamy, I visualize a perfect world where there is world peace. The problem is I live in my head and have a difficult time grounding my feet. I am majoring in Marketing but the sad part is I am not sure what to do with that. I seriously have no clue in what I want to do with my life. Any suggestions?

  • Jake Greenberg

    Loved this article! Very well written.

  • Firyal Magdi

    Hello.. i consider my self a happy person even i have many problems .you know the feeling that you are so ambisious’full of energy’having alot to do ‘giving and alot of amazing ideas you want to make real but you cant cause of iam in a country i love yes ilove but we are victims of those who rule us.. but i still feel happy cause i am a muslim who must be thankful and satisfied and do all her best to success in this life.. i still have day i will achieve all my dreams.. and you too just believe on yourself and pray alot.

  • laughingdame

    Hello. I’m 38 and soon to be 39. I don’t have a college education, but I have worked my way to a decent level at my current company. I’m a single mom of a 7 year old, and a few years ago my mother and I decided to rent a place together to save money and so I could be there for her due to her health issues (cancer and constant G.I. issues).

    I tend to be a happy and positive person, but there’s still this part of me that isn’t happy. I don’t have good credit because of some really poor decisions, and then being unable to do anything financially. While living with my mom does help some, being the only one paying for my child, and everything that comes up with that, has made living paycheck to paycheck pretty tricky. I’ve always wanted to do better for him than I am, and I am just having a hard time figuring it out. I want more for him. We’ll soon have to move again because our landlord will up the rent, and we just can’t afford more money. This means we will end up living further from his school and my job. Boo on that!

    Seems like I’m all over the place in this post…so I’ll get to the point!

    I just don’t know what I should do. I’ve never really had a passion for anything. I like all kinds of things (art, cooking, reading, helping others…naps, which I never get), but I don’t really have a full on passion for those things. I just like to do them. Do I go back to school? Do I just try and switch to another job and then try and work my way into a better position? Do I just stick to where I’m at and hope that I don’t ever get laid off/fired? I’m scared that where I am financially, and the fact that working full time and then going to school as well, will take time from my son. I don’t know if that will be worth it, if he’s not getting what he needs from me.

    Gah! I’ve been going around and around on this for so long that I could have probably had a degree right now. I know that fear is keeping me from making a decision, but that fear rides me hard. Online courses sound like a good idea, but I tried to do some free classes through coursera, and I just couldn’t seem to get through it and do well. I honestly felt stupid and inept, which is the total opposite of what I wanted to get out of it.

    I don’t know what I will get back from post this, but it did feel good to get it out…so there’s that haha

  • SarahK

    I feel really bad when I here how depressed you are roar68. I think as well that you should seek some professionel help. I have had a deep depression once when I was younger (19, I am 22 years now) and I know one when I see one. I got help, but it took professionel help and medicin to do it, but you have to know that even though you hate you life, there is always something to live for, even though you don’t feel it now, talking from experience here, im not just talking I tried to commit suicide. But I got a secong chance and I had to look forward. But when you decide to live and belive in the good in life somehow you get pass it and see what life has to offer you. Im telling you, because I have been there and i can recognize what you write about breaking down and feeling that there is no hope. But there is, it just takes a little time and belief before it shows. I hope that you will get help and decide to live even though life is unbeareable. There is always hope. I wish happiness and the best for you.

  • Johnyc

    thanx…. good thought…

  • landie

    hi i am a 21 year old when i finished school in 2012 i wanted to be a teacher and now i am working there are times when i enjoy what i do then there are times when i just want to do more with my life and make a change but i don’t know what to do or where to go or what my next move should be i had a change of heart and there are times when i just feel like there is more for me out there and i just have to find it most of the time i feel like packing my bags and start over somewhere right now i just need to find that something i have been missing in my life

  • SL

    I started reading this and I was thinking thus us just what I need, but as I read I realised I can’t really feel excited or driven to do anything, I think my lists would be blank

  • fjordprefect

    Although you seem to not be happy with it, I’d kill for any kind of salary, I’m almost 43 with a degree and a certificate and I’m still working for hourly pittance and have to punch a clock. Somehow I’ve never been able to break into the higher levels of the corporate world I work in and it depresses me to no end. Otherwise, I like my job OK, I have a nice office and a good amount of freedom, the people I work with are all very nice too, but I’m tired of working my butt off just to make slightly more than I did delivering pizza in college; I would love to be able to afford to go to the doctor again, or get my 10 year-old car fixed so that my family wouldn’t look so low-rent, or not have to dip into my savings at the end of each pay period because there’s not enough money to make it from week to week. In hindsight, I probably shouldn’t have had three kids but then they’re the only thing I have that I’m really proud of in my life, so, you know, catch 22. Anyway, just remember, no matter how much you think your life sucks, there’s someone out there who’s worse off than you. Celebrate what good things you do have in your life while you can.

  • danny

    I can’t even relate to this? Serious

  • Donnarose

    Hello My name is Donnarose. I graduated high school and are currently working at the dollar store. My dream in life is to be a singer since I was little that’s all I wanted. My dad used to sing with me and made me so happy before he passed away this current year. I don’t know why but lately I have let myself go I stopped singing and though I need a real job. That’s what people around me said that even though I’m good and can sing I have a 1 in 100 chance. But I want to take the chances I want to become that singer, I know I can with practice and time. But I want this more than anything in the whole world. I’m just not so sure I can do it.

  • darklordvoltie

    Now that answered those, where do I begin about changing my life?

  • saburi

    hey fellas! i m 21. student. i completed my graduation, now studying further for post grad… but i really dont know what i m doing… i dnt know wat everyting is going.. i dnt knw.. i feel i m limit to my self.. i read it – ppl have those dreams which they have access to..its like a person who saw plane can dream abt plane not the person who never saw any plane.. so though my ultimate dream is to be at heights.. bt the path to go there is really obscure. the path changes consistantly.. i feel i m doing wrong wid myself. i want to be really successful..i m confused.

  • Angel

    I am 34, and I have been searching for my passion and clarity of my purpose..all my life. My personal life greatly influenced my career path..
    I got out of the corporate whirlwind about 3 years ago determined to never look back … I know it did not give me the joy I was seeking… even though that and my divorce happened around the same time.
    in the past 3 years I took up freelance projects in feilds that inspired me… I shot a Yoga Series, Styled a High Fashion Ad film and i loved doing both..but then I got stuck… the time I had to myself was not favorable..
    I am happy personally now… I met someone who resonates with me at a deep level.. I am peaceful… but my career still haunts me.. I feel a lack of purpose and being an ambitious person thats very hard to live with…
    As everyday passes me by… i feel a sense of loss… I know in my years working I have accumulated working knowledge in many areas… but I am lost.
    That sense of purpose that my job gave me is lost…
    I could do many things and not knowing what its going to be when you are 34… is a very bad feeling…
    can you suggest anything to me..

  • cangie

    OMG this is what i needed to read today. I feel awfully lost in this world at this very moment. Thank you.

  • hari

    Great insight for one searching for answers..

  • Butung

    Good idea, i like your comment.

  • Butung

    Wao! so inspiring words at such young age. You have insight that is lovely..Love you

  • Jnani

    And because of that “tiny things that you love about your job” and focusing on it, maybe you will forget how much pain does it to you, and maybe finally you’ll die…

  • Sam

    The last update was a few years ago, so I’m slightly skeptical that anyone still reads this, but if you do….i’d love some advice.
    I’m 26, i work full time, i work to live, and ,live to work. I’m sick of it, but don’t know how to get out of this rut!
    I want to travel, i have nobody to do it with (my friends either love their job, or are in possessive relationships that don’t allow friendships!)
    How do i start? Where do i start? I don’t know how to do it, but i know i want to go….

  • Tom

    It’s funny you say that you don’t like your job when your sort of job “Big salary, fancy car, keeping up with Jones’ boss and coworkers and high pressure job in big highrise office building” is precisely what I want, suppose it’s funny how some people can have what others want but the person that has it doesn’t even want it.

  • CJ

    I have no idea what I want to do with my life. I am a college freshman and majoring in Health Sciences but I have no interest in it whatsoever. I wake up every morning, dreading the day I have to take courses associated with the major and take part in internships. I am interested in soccer, games, movies, reading, sneakers, interior design, organizing, and coaching a soccer team. However, the job market does not co-operate with my interests. I am confused, I do not want to waste my parents money, and I am afraid of what my future holds. I am currently thinking of claiming my major as Undecided for my sophomore year but no one on my family supports that.
    Please help

  • don

    LadyAngler – What happened, how did you resolve your situation? I think this post was written two years ago. There are enough depressing stories (including my own), are you happier these days? Did you find the balance?

  • don

    Just Do It

  • don

    You say “Afraid of what my future holds”? No one knows what the future holds, do we? I try and enjoy what I have today and everything I do today, however tedious it may seem. Take pride in your Health Sciences, it doesn’t have to be forever but you never know where it will lead you – is that not an exciting thought? It would surely keep me excited and you have so many interests, can your life get any better – I’m sure it can, go get it!

  • don

    Isn’t life amazing, we all want something we haven’t got. I think this way of thinking is an age old thought of ours. I used to want it all because as a family we didn’t have much. I worked and worked and studied so hard and I even paid my own University expenses. I worked up to the reasonable salary, no it was a high salary actually and the fancy car but along the way I experienced a series of incidents I wasn’t happy with , for example:

    my airways started closing, I experienced a major blackout causing multiple fractures of my face and nose, two strokes, high
    cholesterol, overweight, drinking to much, worked to long, smoked to much, diabetic, inactive,
    lazy, depressed, liver issues and endless amounts of medication. I was a little ill two years ago! I believe these were all stress related.

    I would never give advice, these days, but for me I decided to focus on being happy, the incidents above are a thing of the past, I can’t even believe that was my life? I made a decision and for the last two years its all been about my own happiness – selfish old me! Well happy old me really! I do not need to impress anyone other than myself any more. There is a balance and I am still working to find it.

    I will not waste my life wishing I had something, but I am going to love what I have now. If I decide I want something else, I will probably decide to focus on that as well? Who knows?

    Just do it, whatever it is you decide you want and go get it!

  • TheDeltaOrionis

    I struggled for years with this situation, and I think I can help you guys finding your way out of misery.

    I have now peace of mind, and I’m quite happy.
    If you have time, read my story; I think it will help you.

    Lets begin…
    I’ve always been the best at school, getting the highest grades with ease, every professor I encountered viewed me in high regards, thinking I was a genius, no joke, and even my parents and classmates always thought so. But I hated studying, and thought most of school was boring. My main interests were guitar and music production, sport, bodybuilding, nutrition, gaming and not much else.

    However, pressured by my own reputation, after school I immediately enrolled in a Computer Science degree, not because I loved it, but because it was the “right and most secure thing to do” and because everyone was expecting so. Pretty silly.

    And here’s what happened: coding made me miserable, I hated coding with a passion. I mean, staring at a white screen alone, writing lines of code… There’s certainly people who love that, but definitely not me. I KNOW I hated it, and wasn’t even interested in all the theory behind the computers. Not at all. I mean, I love gaming, I love being a USER of technology, I know how to assemble a killer gaming PC, but that’s about it.

    College pushed me out of my TRUE interests, and I even started to view them as useless things who would get me nowhere. I neglected them. I wasn’t myself.

    I kept fooling myself, for four miserable years, forcing myself to like Computer Science, but my disinterest reflected in my grades. I often found myself looking at the other people, even those doing the most humble jobs, envying them. That’s how much I hated Computer Science.

    The problem was also that I found myself completely uninterested to every other possible degree: I don’t give a damn about medicine, I don’t give a damn about studying law, I don’t give a damn about economics etc.

    So this October, after years of being miserable and fooling myself, I decided to drop out of college. It wasn’t an easy decision, but it was the best I’ve ever made.
    I feel I wasted so many years, I”m 22 now. And people that originally were WAY behind my at school, got their degree in whatever (economics, sport science etc.) and starting their careers where I’m sitting here with absolutely nothing. But I don’t envy them, I know very few of them actually choose what they truly liked. And even then, I don’t give a damn: it’s their life, not mine.

    That’s the biggest thing you have to realize. It doesn’t matter what you do, it’s YOUR life.
    Do what makes you happy, and don’t give a damn.
    My whole family actually it’s a perfect example of this, and I’m so surprised I didn’t learn from them at first. How stupid I am?

    – My sister is in circus: she was in college studying Arts, realized she wasn’t interested in it as a carreer, dropped out of college and started a school of Circus in Spain.
    Everyone thought she was crazy, faced many oppositions, but now she lives doing what she loves: creative shows in streets doing handstands, balancing with his husband who is a juggler. Pretty awesome life.

    – My mother loves dogs with a passion. They’re her favourite animal, and always had one since he was a child. She lives and supported the family being a “dog walker”: she basically takes out dogs for others. Yes, it’s a job. Yes, she loves it.

    – My father lives abroad, Luxembourg, did a variety of “day jobs” that he hated and now managed to secure a decent living playing his favourite genre in locals and pubs: blues.

    Also, I always envied my former guitar teacher, who makes a great living and very good money teaching privately full time and does absolutely nothing else. Again, he loves his job.

    There’s people out there who kinda like children and managed to make a great living being a nanny.

    There’s people who are able to make a living through eBay.

    There’s people out there who make a living doing the craziest things.

    What all of this does mean?
    It means that there are MANY ways to make a living. A degree and a grey career in the corporate world is not your only choice.
    And you don’t even have to have a great PASSION to live in your own way.
    Passion is overrated, no one has a great passion to fall back on.
    Most of people have some light interests, or things they’re decent at.
    Find a way to make them profitable, TRY IT NOW even if you fail.
    The most rewarding and personally fulfilling careers are often high-risk/high-reward.

    And if you don’t have any particular interest that can turn out profitable, just remember one thing: IT’S PERFECLTY FINE. Again, passion is overrated.
    Learn to live a simpler lifestyle then, and enjoying life in different ways.

    Lower your standards of living accordingly, move to a way smaller flat, move to a smaller and cheaper town, take whatever job you can find that doesn’t drain you out completely and enjoy life OUT of it. With your friends, with your dog, with your cat, with your hamster, with your wife, with your son, whatever.

    Your son doesn’t give a damn about you being a big man in the corporate industry.
    Your wife doesn’t give a damn about you being a big man in the corporate industry. (and if she does, she is not worth your time)
    You cat doesn’t give a damn about you being a big man in the corporate industry.
    The simplest life could be the most beautiful, think about it for a second.

    Don’t spend your life trying to be someone else, spend your life being yourself, enjoying what truly makes you happy and not giving a damn about useless things such as possession, greed, salary, prestige, others opinion.

    What about me?

    I love guitar, and I decided I will continue to play it and dedicate some serious time to my band, maybe we’ll get somewhere. But, surprise, that’s not my career plan. If the band turns out succesful, good for me, but I know it’s improbable.
    The difference is that now I will not neglect it, and I will dedicate all the time I want on it.

    However, I also like sport, nutrition, I’m active, I’m very detail oriented, I’m not an extrovert and not very outgoing but I speak fairly decently and know how to convey ideas, I know lots about diet, I know how to train and transform my body (and the one of my girlfriend who made great progress, and is in awesome shape), I like the idea of teaching people.
    So guess what? There’s a career I can seriously try to tackle: it’s personal training.
    I will push my biggest efforts there.

    What if all this goes wrong?
    We’ll see, I’ll take whatever job I can, adjust my life accordingly, stay positive and keep enjoying what I love.

  • Fruity

    THANK YOU SO SO SO SO MUCH!!! These questions have really helped me to identify what I need to do with my life & time!! It’s as if a light bulb has gone off in my head! Thank you!!! xxx

  • Todd Douglas

    I think you will succeed.
    Bless you.

  • Erif

    Its true get very less paid for being a teacher and thats very rude

  • Erif

    You are rite man 🙂

  • TonyLee

    I’m a Korean. I’m 19. My parents are the same as those typical asian parents. They’ve been telling me from young that study is the only way to succeed in reality. I’ve always been obedient, but today, while listening to my father telling me off about studies again, I just hung up and threw my phone out of my room. If study is the only path to success in reality, then I want to keep living in my own world, where studying and going to a top university is not the only way to success. I just want to keep dreaming. Kids these days are so brainwashed by society, including their parents. Study for your future. Study for your happiness. Study if you want to earn a lot. I don’t know about foreign parents, but I am positive that 99% of Korean parents force their children to achieve things that they couldn’t during their lifetime. Children are not avatars. They are not puppets. Every single person on Earth has their own life, own thoughts, own dreams. Instead of pushing them closer and closer to their dreams, the parents are just forcing their kids to do all those stuff just for their mere satisfaction in life. I want to change my life. I have my talents, my dreams, and I’m going to pursue those dreams and make my talents useful to this world. This society is plain dumb. They discuss history and say that history should not be repeated, but the cycle is just going on and on… Never seem to be stopping. To those people who dream to change the world, don’t hesitate. Please. Start from the little things in life, and aim for bigger ones as you go on. One day, if God allows us, we might just be able to change this brainwashed society once and for all.

  • steve

    good article. thank you

  • Kevwe

    Jennifer I can totally relate!i’m also 23,a graduate and although I got a job,I was so miserable I had to quit cos I was losing my mind.people expect me to work in the corporate world but that is far from what my heart wants.I don’t know how i’ll start but I’m positive now that i’ll always find a way.God bless you

  • guest

    I already know the answers to all these questions.. I know exactly what i want to do with my life. Problem is, I need a diploma or piece of paper that says I can do it.. and those things cost a lot of money.
    So it’s back to the god damn grind for the next few years.

  • yan yan

    I dont know if i should pursue being an LPN ..i dont like being a nurse ..i love working with kids but the pay is bad only 10$

  • yan yan

    but teachers get summer’s off so its not that bad …

  • yan yan

    i love ur last sentence were all born with nothing and well die with nothing

  • yan yan

    u should try visiting philippines…its so much fun in there

  • Shreya Surana

    i really dont know what should i do..rather i should say..m nt gttng d rght track..m i really wanna do sth big..i knw i’ll do sth great but dont knw how n what..i feel i dont use ma potential to d best..i wanna make sth best out of ma lyf..i wanna do sh great sth different..but i m lost..i wana a direction..even d ques given by u..i dont feel rreally i can answer..please guide to where cn i take my lyf twrds..a directn..a path..

  • dfindfdinfd

    wtf this is sooooo boring and i will never fucking change my life

  • dfindfdinfd


  • Mehdi

    Hi LadyAngler,

    I am where you’ve been a couple of years ago.

    The only difference is that, like many out there, your professional achievements appear to me as my dream today. After my MBA programme in one of the most prestigious B-schools in the world, I could achieve everything I wish, but I hated the corporate culture and was missing my home. I finally decided to go back home to my old life, old mother, and the family life I used to enjoy. I was expecting that things were unchanged during my 4 years of living abroad. What a mistake!

    On the contrary, I noticed that life has been flowing and moved far off during all these years that I was absent. I made a huge sacrifice to return for good reasons and, today, I feel like I am being deceived, betrayed and lost.

    I was wondering how have you get on with your life and if you feel any better today.

    Have a Merry Christmas and happy New Year ensemble.


  • raja

    Hi friend my is raja for India. My age is 25. I stopped my studies 6years back i did’t complete degree.5 years back i joined in one company as computer pay is 8000 per month. i want to ask one question sir. i don’t now what is my interest. when i was 19 years day i sad to mom i want to go cricket coaching.go and join in inter.i told i cant study.but my mom to cricket well not give a job he told.on that i leave cricket.i am not strong decessation maker. in cricket also i am not better cricket.but interest. in my life what is my talent i am not geeting it.

  • Roder Reve

    That’s not necessarily true, friend. You always feel better giving back to people. you may enjoy time spent alone, who doesn’t, but when you are helping and contributing to others, that is a gift in itself. I’d say you need to get out of your comfort zone to experience what other things you like.

  • Jade

    Come to New Zealand, chill out, move to the south island, relax and just enjoy your life. Come start a crazy business with me.

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  • tanveer

    i cant answer anything what does that mean ???

  • Henrique Souza

    Hi! I’m 25. For me the money is the villain of everything. I wanna do a lot of my life, but I can’t because is impossible to me afford with it. Maybe I should do a plan (save money) and try to achieve all I want, however it’s so sad, always waiting for the hapiness and have nothing of joy to be unfulfilled. I don’t know what to do, even answering these questions. Sorry, but thanks anyway.

  • Rockelle Gomez

    20 years old trying to figure out what I want out of life.
    I want to be loved and to have time for my loved ones.
    I want to cook but also for my cooking to be appreciated.
    I have a solid plan now.

  • Gifty Houmard

    I wanted to find what i really need in my life and come across this page and read your comments, every comments touch my soul and i even cried because i am in the same situation, i am lost and don’t know what to do in my life and the path to take. I did accounting studies and now i’m in my last year of economics and realize that this is not what i wanted, i choose this because four years ago it was like the subject to study in the country i live and now i will be finishing but I’m lost there are so many options and many people telling what we should be doing and not be doing, society want us to do a certain job et have a great lifestyle. I love to coach others and bring their greater version out of them, i love nature, animals and family, friends, simple life and thank God we are awakening in this universe so i’m happy seeing your comments because i don’t feel lonely. I’m 24yrs

  • outside doggy

    I am middle aged in a dead end job and broke. Oh did I leave out alone. Made mistakes and i am just tired. I have little if any interest. Money makes things happen. People say money is not everything, I say it sure does help. I could change things overnight if I had it.

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  • Roger

    These are great questions, but I have no real answers. I am 50. What do I do now ?? To question # 1 – I love drinking coffee. Question #2 – I have become a multimillionaire. Question # 3 – I don’t think I am afraid of anything. I don;t care what people think or judge me. Question # 4 – This is why I am reading this post/blog. I have no limits and have no idea what to do with my life. Question # 5 – I don’t have a billion, but I have multi-millions and no clue what to do. I already have traveled and have two houses…..Question # 6 – I admire people who work hard to better themselves and their lifestyle. — So what now ? Where do I go from here ?? I really don’t have answers to the above questions. I have no family.

  • guardiantaz113

    I like this currently working in the army as a E-3 been away from my family for a while and I understand that you have to work hard to earn things but if u pay attention u see how cold hearted people are and how horrible someone really is. Jokes are said but sometimes things actually hurt. Like me if I could I would stand for so many things simple yet large I wish things could change the way you think God is good. Sometimes tho my past comes and it can hurt me in ways I don’t exacly know how to defend against

  • Raghav

    We are all Dead until we can to know the meaning of Life.
    So,left with only two options: Become Alive or Stay Dead.

  • ovo

    I’m really young and don’t know what to do with my life or myself. Sometimes I feel like there is no point in even trying because no one gets what they want.

  • Patrick

    i am struggling in life and always short of money. 10 years of my life working hard trying to settle. but no success thats only because i am not smart, i am loyal, true, and …..
    I have responsibility family house rent expenses after my all hard work i am left with short of funds always feeling short of money to live in the city. the last option for me is to leave the city and go to the village

  • Patrick

    i have my dream. A small home car good source of income and a happy busy life

  • soko

    Lady Angler. Choose happiness and all the things that make you happy will come dont be afraid of losing money etc-there are no happy people the universe will take care of you.

  • soko

    sorry I mean there are no happy poor people!

  • Mayday

    All of the comments below are wonderful and should make me feel inspired but I’m not. 🙁

    I am sooooo depressed because I’m 34 years old and I did nothing with my life. I’ve been married for 14 years but I feel as if we are not a married couple but sex partners. We have a child together, who is only 1. Don’t get me wrong, I longed to have a child, but what I didn’t count on was what came with the package. I thought that would make our relationship strong, but it ended up making it non existent. I quit my job to be my baby’s full time caregiver and my husband works all day. I think he resents me for making him a dad. He would go through moments in the past of saying he wanted to be a father, then he would say he never wanted to. Long story short, our whole time being with each other, it was and has been very confusing. He is double minded, he always tells me he will do something one day and does another. He changes his mind easily and although he means what he says at the moment he says it, certain circumstances make him change. I am so depressed, numb, and fed up. I”m stuck because my family lives miles away in the U.S. and we are in Canada. I have no friends and my inlaws don’t like me. I tell him I want to go but he tells me that if I do, then I will have to leave our child with him. He threatens to take him away from me legally. As crazy as he is, he will win because he knows people and he is a very good liar, he can make you believe that pigs fly. I really hate my life right now and I am very sorry for bringing my baby into this because we are both going to have to put up with him. 🙁

  • Mayday

    I feel as though I am nothing and I will never be nothing. And I haven’t told anyone in my family what is going on because I’m too scared of the war that can break out between them and him. I’m scared to lose my baby ;….(( Does anyone have any advise on what I can do? Also, I don’t have any money to get my baby a passport, so even if I had the opportunity to escape, I couldn’t take him with me. I am dirt poor and we are surviving with his business, but just barely. I thank God that we eat and we have a roof over our heads but I hate the environment we live in. Our home doesn’t look like a home, it is half empty because we cannot afford to make it look welcoming. He has made me feel stupid, ugly, unworthy of being a normal human being. I feel like I should hate him but I don’t. I can’t. 🙁

  • Damian

    I can so relate to this and feel for you LadyAngler. I’m 45 yo. Just turned down a 100k job with a Big Corporation. Why you may ask……..because I simply cannot work in that environment anymore. Full of two faced, artificial assholes who will walk over your dead body to get on the next rung on the corporate ladder. Corporate “family” my ass. I’ve decided to get out while i still have my health. I’m selling my house to pay for a career change. I simply have no choice if I want to keep my mental health intact. I have some savings and no family ties so it’s now or never.

  • Reisz

    I am 21 years old I have two kids and I’m struggling with life.. I want help so bad and don’t wanna feel depressed and lonley. Please someone out there in this world help me…

  • Brad Edwards

    I would like to take it one step further, we are born with nothing and will die with nothing, but if we have a family we raised or helped be right we should think about them like ourselves.

    A wise man will plant a tree under which he will never sit. Americans need to start thinking that way again. I am a homeschooling stay at home dad that surfs, paints, gardens for fun and is thinking about starting a farm not only for me but for friends, family, and future generations. I’ll die before I work in a cube-

  • Brad Edwards

    I also think about what you said, I am from the south myself and think free souls need to just get out of the city, if they can’t make the commute because the cities too big like NYC move. YOLO

  • Amber

    Regardless of money, if you do what you live doing for a living you’ll never truly have to work a day in your life. There’s many ways to get better pay. Maybe become a nanny for 15 per hour or open an in home daycare and make much more

  • Roberto

    Nice post!
    I’m junior in high school… And the past few weeks I’ve been thinking about my future… I am good at almost everything… But I only feel free to express myself when I’m in my English class or when I’m writing…. Teachers have told me that my writings are good and sometimes better than all my classmates… But to be honest I don’t know what to do when I “grow up”…
    I enjoy math… But I don’t see myself as a math teacher,engineer,architect… Sounds weird but yeah…

  • smile and get on with it

    welcome to the club kid in 50 this year and I feel the same way. but I have a crap job with no prospects, no house a tiny car that I can’t afford but to counteract this I have depression, anxiety and self loathing
    they say money can’t buy you happiness
    but I would rather cry in a Ferrari than on a push bike, life sucks

  • naVv

    I was thinking about first three questions from few days. But couldn’t start to write down anything because I didn’t have exact questions. Thanks a lot James for these 6 superb questions.

  • Jeremy

    I’m more interested in spiritual growth and mental development giving answers to life and everything associated with it. I constantly analysis and evaluate everything around me, every experience I believe is purposeful and has meaning to teach. Personally I have come up with awesome theories in the context of Biblical, quantum physics, world events, psychology, sociology and conspiracy theories. I have a lot of knowledge but due to structure of society and expectations to conform I’m stuck. If I had my way I would spend the rest of my life thinking, gathering knowledge to work out meaning to everything according to my understanding and life experience. But I’m conformed to the exceptions of society, work and earn money to live as is expected. I have no interest in money and material items or conforming to the norm, honestly I find what the average person thinks and how they perceive life is boring and limited to say the LesT. But seeing there is no financial gain associated with my interests and societies expectations for me to be support myself and my family, your theory doesn’t seem to fit my desires. How am I meant to be happy when society doesn’t give me an avenue to be so???? I have stopped work and Im currently living on savings and welfare, life has been awesome and my personal and spiritual understanding has expanded beyond my own beliefs and expectations. The longer I give time to what I enjoy the better I feel with in myself. But sooner than later money is going to become a concern and I’ll be forced to live the boring crap life I dislike because that’s societies expectation. What am I meant to do when what I hope for and desire doesn’t fit societies structure? Dream a dream? I just wish I could live a dream.

  • Anna

    Buddah is a liar and he can’t even help anyone because he is DEAD. Do all of you blind people know who actually MADE you and CARES for you and LOVES you with all of his heart? There IS someone who will NEVER die, and even though I know every one wants to say to this, “Belive what you want and let me belive what I want” or “Shut up and keep your opinions to yourself” but this is not my so-called OPINION. This is an UNDENIABLE TRUTH. There is absolutely NO WAY to get AROUND it. STEP BACK and take a LOOK at what you believe. Why waste your precious God-given life on something or someone that cannot and will not save you? Please think hard about this. And do not insult me for what I have written. You all know that this is true deep down, I know it. If you want to change your life for the BETTER, ask me.

  • Joe

    My name is Joe & I’m revaluating my life. I had it all until last Sunday night. Business, wife, beautiful children, big house, money, holidays, etc & a wandering eye.
    I’ve been found out! My years of cheating on my wife are out in the open & I’ve lost it all.
    What to do? My behaviour is unforgivable, so I have to change. These questions are making me think about what really matters, but I feet it’s too late to save my marriage. My kids though & the rest of my life….. I need to change, I’ve been a total bastard. It all starts today. Wish me luck.

  • The weird one

    Amber i right trust me if you love what you love or like what you do everyday. You never work a day in your life

  • george

    I feel changed I feel like I should open my window and scream to the world that I ‘am ready for anything

  • tom tom

    Well stated.

  • Anonymous40

    How can you change your life without your health, no money or job, no family support and basically nothing? If your sick and can’t do much because of your health and can’t work? Is there a light at the end of the tunnel? I’m trying to be positive but I’m also a realist. In my situation, am in a relationship with a person who is not good and has been abusive in the past. My family likes him because he takes the burden off of them so they don’t have to be bothered with me and my health issues. That alone to me, is sad. Knowing that my own family would rather I stay with an abusive partner than be bothered to help me. He is the only person i have. My family cares so little that I could be dead in my room and no one would notice . How can you change your life without yourself?

  • The first 3 questions made me think a little.Great work !! I quit my job after 6 months.I was sitting useless at home for two years.I was playing music all the time because that is what I love to do or lets say that is the only thing I do when I get time.Then after two years I opened my music school and now my days are heavenly.

  • paul

    I am very disappointed, this did not change my life forever. Boo

  • rohan singh

    i promise this world now i will put my everything to get all india rank 1 in iit jee 2016.i will prove myself this my promise

  • Raina Dhoni<3

    Okay… so… everything was kinda fine…but one day few of my friends deserted me just because of utter jealousy… actually i don’t like fighting with people… but they ignore me and tease me which is hard.but i don’t say anything back though deep inside my heart i wanna kill them like 20 times… yes…. so for god’s sake…. I don’t do anything that bothers them but that bothers my heart!!! Someone help please… it’s urgent…..

  • dlp333

    No, teachers have to take continuing education classes and attend planning meetings in the summers. Plus, they put in 60 hours plus a week during the school year. Don’t fool yourself. Teachers work their asses off for peanuts.

  • NotYourAvg

    They sure as hell do! My sister quit teaching because of the unrealistic demands made on teachers. She consistently had 12+ work days. I hate that people buy into this “teachers are the problem” rhetoric. No, it’s uninvolved parents and school boards/administration only concerned with standardized testing because of God-awful mandates like No Child Left Behind that were designed to fail.

  • dlp333

    Exactly. Thank you. I had to retire from teaching (and I LOVED the actual teaching part and miss it a lot) due to depression and anxiety. The best teachers I know feel consistently overwhelmed by the demands put on them by administrators and mandates. (We called it No Teacher Left Standing, not NCLB.) The most important things teachers want are 1. a return to actual TEACHING, as opposed to just administering and grading tests, and 2. reduced teacher-student ratios. None of the teachers I know are fussing about more money. They simply want a system where they can do what they love…teach children…to the best of their ability . We are losing teachers from the profession because the frustration is too much. Love your teachers. They need it.

  • Lizzard

    I quit my job as an RN a year ago, and I have never been happier. I have less money, but have never looked back.

  • Marii

    What do I do if I don’t know the answers to these 6 questions?

  • Marii

    I am 19 and I don’t know how to find myself. I think I’ve been living my life the way my parents and friends want me to that I lost my self somewhere. And I am scared I can’t find it again. I’m in university right now, studying criminology and psychology, despite my parents telling me to do another course. But sometimes, I find myself wondering if I had picked the right thing for me or if I had just picked this so I can get back at my parents. Whether the choices I have made, I chose for myself and not anyone else. I know many people would say I’m 19 and I have plenty of time. But I am scared. I’m scared of disappointing myself and others. I’m scared of taking 1 step forward and 10 steps backwards.

  • yan yan

    What r u pursuing right now?

  • Ariyan Wijaya

    hey guys.. im 23, in indonesia and worked as govmnt officer because my parents insist it very hard, eith excuse like – hard to find job today- and i was actually left my technical college just to become safe officer and to respect my parents but in about 5 years my life feel like ruined and i cant sleep at night.. thanks for this straight article.. i hope i can be like you guys,.. my still problem is tuition fee and parents permit.. i will do saving and probably selling some fruit to market to gain money. and i can studying renewable energy like solar or wind power plant.. or architect or sustainable environment which are subject that i feel really into them. i just little affraid with my age right now, 23, im worried whether i will make a good career when i just started my study in age like now.. please share yourself story guys maybe i can get some inspiring story like yours so i can enlight my life. sorry for my broken english.. thank you very much

  • Ariyan Wijaya

    are you male or female? and what do you do for living?

  • Ariyan Wijaya

    hey gifty. im 23 and in a condition like yours. im indonesian. i cant really help you but after deep thinking i think i should do my own business- small buy and sell, distribution. then i will studying major that i really want to.. hope you will find yours..

  • Ariyan Wijaya

    i really like that quote.. thanks buddy

  • Upmost Solution

    Nice Article

  • Blade

    1. Nothing
    2. Nothing much
    3. No Idea
    4. I honestly have no idea. My problem is not that I don’t want to do anything, but that I don’t have anything I want to do.
    5. I’d invest. Live off the interests. Probably play games, fly around the world in a private jet.
    6. Nobody.

    You see, I know for a fact that if I had a desire, something I wanted to become, I could do it, but there isn’t anything I want to become. Aside from being rich enough to not have to do anything. I wouldn’t mind if I worked, but it was something I liked doing, but there is nothing I like doing.

  • Steve Cabrera

    Prayer works, I’ve heard this once, twice have I said this.. That God has put a hole in our heart, that only he can fill…

  • Gifty Houmard

    thank you for your e-mail, this really touches me a lot, i will like to have more news about you!!
    I’m finishing my last year in July this year…
    What is your name ?

  • John Collins Jr V

    Honestly I am looking so much for change that I am pushing my friends away from me. Everything has been the same for a long time. I need change but I literally suck at everything.

  • Jane

    Your ideas are very good, and would contribute to a good future for yourself, your community and those you care about. Why not pursue sustainable development in some way, energy or the built environment? No matter what direction you take you can be excited, learn new things, change when you need to, and teach and inspire others. A very good choice if you want to do it. Push through fear and doubt, and explain the benefits to your parents, hopefully they will see the benefits and support you. You are young and can change your path without too much difficulty.

  • I have to thank you for this post. I am myself in the process of finding my true self. These questions are not ones I ever would have thought of. However, they do reveal more about me. and the person that I wish to become.

  • Susan

    I hate my life and I hate that I am so anxious and fearful to change it. I am almost 50 and I feel like my whole life has been a waste……I would do anything to be able to start over at age 20 again. I hate that I missed out on sooo many opportunities because my mother told me everything I wanted to do was “stupid” or a waste of money, or “silly”. I now know those things would have made me happy but I still hear her voice shameing me for wanting those things…I’m still not able to do them. My life sucks…..

  • leah

    What if being your true self means losing your family? Im 26. I’m stuck in a rut. I know what to do but I don’t know whether I should do it. I eloped with my now husband. My country’s sharia law decided to annul my marriage while i was 6 months pregnant and he had to go back to America. I have been living with my parents who have been against my marriage and they were the one who brought my marriage for questioning with the sharia court. My daughter is now close to 2 years old and have never met her father. He’s waiting for me in America and I just cant seem to leave. To leave means to tell them the truth and the truth means I’m no longer family. Worked for 8 months, 3 months after I gave birth but couldn’t stand it any longer being away from my baby and pretending to be “corporate” My ultimate dream is to be on a piece of land with husband and children and grow our own food, be creative every single day in any way i feel to, to be surrounded by nature, be a SAHM running my own small business…

  • marcos name is MArcos..I’m 17 years old I’m turning 18 in 4 months. Well you probably be thinkin why I’m posting this here..or probably thinking about I’m too young for this I just finished school and couldn’t graduate as other kids because I didn’t pass the final test. Well .im trying to figure what would I do withy life…people been telling me always. Be focus on what yu want…I really don’t like to be studying alot I’m not that type of guy….well what I expect and what I want is to have my own business …and at the same I feel afraid with ..I cannot get what I want…so that’s what I think

  • Unknown

    I ended up crying after reading the #3 question. I remembered that everybody in school is judging me. There are so many bullies around me, they hate me so much. Is it because of my nationality? what’s wrong with that? but I hope that’s not the reason. I don’t know what I did to them. They’re giving me such hurtful words. I just kept ignoring them but sometimes it becomes physical. I don’t have friends in school not even one. My only friends is my family. My life is full of pain. Why are they bullying? Does it feel good to them? Is it their vitamins? Oh God Why am I living in this cruel world? No one deserves this treatment. No one deserves this life. Why can’t I just live in an Anime World or in a World of fun? Why? But that won’t stop me to go to school everyday. I want and I have to finish school to have a better life.

    For those people that are being bullied, don’t lose hope. Pain/Bad things doesn’t last forever. There is a better life waiting for you. And for those bullies, please stop bullying. It’s so wrong. It doesn’t make you look cool. It just make you look like a dick. Try not to bully someone, please. #StopBullying

    I’m just sharing my experience in life. BTW, thank you so much for this. It makes me feel special. You make me smile.

  • Mark Smithson

    “love for nature, animals” + “fishing”…………………….. seems like a contradiction ms ‘LadyAngler’

  • Mike

    Do you really believe death is a certainty?

  • QuestioningKat

    sorry, but $10 is not a working wage and will eventually lead to misery. I know people who idealistically went with what they love – art therapy and are now in the Corporate world due to the high cost of living and stress of working with severely troubled kids. I went the teaching route – not for me and am now in the Corporate world as a designer. It was good for a while- I am financially secure, but the coworkers backstabbing has gotten to me. I desparately need a change – I write this as I am ill for the past three weeks due to stress and a lingering progressive cold now bronchitis. after 50 some years of living, I realize the importance of keeping what you love away from the idea of earning money. As soon as they pay you, they own you. Bill Cunningham said something like this an it’s true. I suggest doing some sort of workshop or class at a community center for kids. You can temporarily dip your feet into this idea with no permanent consequences. Think hobby separate from income for starters. there are lots of ways to do enjoyable things online – blog, create art, join a cause… your passion does not need to be linked with your income.

  • QuestioningKat

    I’ve worked in design/ art for decades. I have a job most envy. It’s a love/ hate relationship. this idea of “never working a day in your life” is untrue. If you have the ability to manage complex relationships and people challenges and do what you excel at, you will have a positive work experience. People have a way of making our lives heaven or hell. Positively expressing ourselves and standing up to our needs in a proactive way without overturning the apple cart is a skill of its own. mange this and you will be on your way to a good life whether or not you are in an ideal work situation or not.

  • QuestioningKat

    if you do not know what to do, the best thing to do is find ways of improving or taking care of yourself. Confusion is best resolved by action rather than rumination. the action needs to be positive and leads to personal growth. years ago when I lost a job, I took a class to improve my skills and took a temporary job. also take care of your health- time creeps up and you will be thankful in the decades to come. If traditional education is not working for you consider other options. Education is important and allows you to navigate natural changes in life. Just watch out for these scam schools and colleges. Consider your local business organization- several offer free workshops and seminars. First you need to explore life and see what you like. perhaps you prefer working outside or alone. try to figure out what type of work situation is best suited for you and get a job close to this. working for others helps you understand how business works. why not give that a try?

  • QuestioningKat

    I hope life has turned around for you after this last year. you have shown others who stop in here the importance of being financially stable. Running out and doing what you love whether it is becoming an artist, helping kids, etc is idealistic and could lead to struggles if all aspects of our life are not in order – relationships, personal health, etc. I have had a couple times of extended unemployment in my life and after a while I realized I either needed more education, or to do something – anything to shake myself out of my funk. if you are still in this situation, consider volunteering, joining a group or taking some sort of workshop for anything.

  • Angelo

    You’re not alone, iam 43 year old native New Yorker playing this horrible game we call life .
    Sick ofthe backstabbing co-workers and bosses and human rat race we have become.
    Now unemployed and rethinking where we have been and how we got here.

    I have been keeping my head high taking deep breaths and moving on there as to be something more.

    Try to keep yoursef in touch with nature .
    Reading about how we got here as a nation and a planet as help me and understanding How
    I and I alone have allowed myself to get to this point has help me,
    it hasn’t been easy but its coming along.

    Don’t give up i haven’t , My MOM use to say in Italian when your down there is only one way to go and thats UP.

    And trust me New york has become a shitty place to be.

    Don’t ask why …ask how this has help me break the ice i hope you find your icebreaker .

    All my Best 😉

  • DayNightDreamer1111

    I feel so unfulfilled in life. I am 29yrs old. I have 1 child(whom I love dearly). Almost everyday, I wake up with guilt and sadness. I always look back at the choices I’ve made in life and feel that I have missed out on life. I’m grateful to be alive….but the problem is, is that I feel that I’m not living at all.
    I did no go to college after high school and decided to work and provide for my family. Years went by and I was finally able to go back to school. Now, I am a 29yr old adult student going for my BS in Nursing. It’s overwhelming. I’ve always wanted to be a nurse, but the pressure has gotten to me and I question whether I even want to continue. I’m unemployed, so that’s even more of a strain.
    I just want my son to be happy and for myself to feel some sort of contentment with life. Waking up everyday, feeling unfulfilled in life, is the complete worse. I mean, I’m grateful for life and all the wonderful blessings that have occurred in my life, but I just desire even more out of life. Sorry to vent people…just needed to let a little steam off. Praying for everyone like me out there searching and praying for fulfillment in life!!!!!!!!

  • dakotaw01

    I’m 17 years old. I just got done with high school except two summer classes I have to re take because I went through this skipping school phase. I’m actually graduating a year early. I’ve normally kept good grades, but by no means excel in my classes. I’ve never had a job, I’ve never had the desire to work either. Honestly I’d rather own my own business, of what, I don’t know.
    My parents are always down my throat that I don’t have a job. It’s not like I haven’t tried getting one, I have countless times and can never get the job. But they don’t understand I don’t know what to do.
    I don’t have a dream job or anything out there for me. I am so lost in my own life, because I can’t get a job, and I don’t know what to do with my life.
    I have no skills or talents. I’ve tried singing, dancing, drawing, writing.. and even stuff like skateboarding, there’s just nothing I’m good at.
    I don’t know what to do anymore and I just want to give up. I’ve researched so many ways I can “find” my self, I’ve asked my self hundreds of questions, nothing works. I’m 17, done with high school, and I still can’t do anything with my life.

  • mpho

    I am 23 i have been studying since i finished high..ever since i finished i feel like i am brainwashed because i am always distructed i cant do anythng right and much is expected from me ,because i used to be this wellknown genius.. i need help to be the old me again…

  • Lm Pazek

    This is my story. I would write it all but it would probably take too long and I have been warned that:
    1) revisiting the past over and over again is not good for me.
    2) no one really cares.

    I am thirty-five years old. From the age of about 11 years old to 34 years of ago I was mentally ill from “depression” and “anxiety” and insomnia to where it was equivalent to being as ill as having “alzheimers” or “schizophrenia.”

    Change came when I decided I guess to stop listening to everyone around me, especially my family (I grew up the youngest daughter of an alcoholic).

    I have definitely made some terrible decisions and hurt some people myself during my own life and apologized and I have tried to move on. I am very aware of my own faults, maybe too much so.

    From a young age I have always been a little different and exposed to things that I should not have been.

    I know that I am a stronger person today because I learned finally that I needed to change and look at my values and learn that I am a good person despite my faults and so are other people.

    How I finally recovered from mental illness? Probably by some sort of miracle plus my own stubborn resolve. This last year has been different from the 34 years before me.

    I tried working but quickly realized that traditional employment simply does not work for me. People do not like you to question or be yourself or try to help others or be enthusiastic. We value “selling” the corporate “ladder” towing the line, and hurting our physical bodies by sitting in front of computers in offices or standing all day.

    In some ways I am still truly recovering from a traumatic childhood, and the mental health system and toxic family relationships. As well as binge eating disorder. Going to “therapy” is not something I am even interested in anymore.

    I am having a difficult time right now because I want to change my life for the better but I am really confused and need help. Here in Toronto, being on social services is very difficult and it is impossible to survive on financially. I would like to return to school but I do not have the money, I live in a home with my mother where a lot of my past trauma occurred and I wish for nothing but to leave. Toronto is incredibly expensive and everyone is rushing around. Getting a job with decent wages to live alone is not a reality. Being on social services, and filing papers and trying to work and go to doctors as the system changes all the time is a full-time job and I no longer want to do it.

    But I am scared because I have never known what it is like to “grow up”, earn a decent living for myself while also being healthy, making my own decisions and following my heart. As well I have no “working” skills that are appreciated.

    There is a counselling program at a school and I feel like it may be a way I can help people. Like maybe the meaning of my life all along was just to just be open about my past, no longer having to “hide” what I have been through and find a way to live finally at peace.

    The problem? The program starts in September and I cannot afford it. I am terrible with advocating for myself. I do not understand debt or even how to pay for school.

    In the meantime, the mistakes I have made trying to work while not “fitting” in at the two jobs I have tried this year has cost me a lot. I am terrible with numbers and math, making decisions, I get lost all of the time and lose objects every day, have difficult concentrating, cannot understand verbal “directions” or remember names.

    I think I know now that as a child of an alcoholic, and growing up in a toxic home I used daydreaming and reading and fantasy as well as food to comfort myself.

    I have one of those memories that seems to go back forever.

    I am sad for that little girl and wish I could go back sometimes and rescue her and parent her myself. I bet that sounds trite or even stupid.

    The feedback I receive is that I am too impatient and unrealistic and stubborn and that I talk too much, act too silly, or too emotional, or too serious, have no “filter” or I am too intelligent for my own good. How do I apologize for this?

    I spent most of my life under a veil of psychiatric confusion, labels and influence by people who did not have the best interest for me. Although they may have been trying to “help” I would not nor could not abide or treat someone the way I or some of the other people in my situation were treated.

    But I met some good people who did give me some good advice.

    In the end I am just truly scared. Because everything costs money, and I do not understand anything about money or taking care of myself as an adult I am scared.

    I admit that I was jealous for a long time of other people because their lives seemed so much easier. But I also spent this year learning that a lot of people suffer, even the ones who seem to “have it all”.

    When I am truthful with myself about how I feel, I realize that what I really yearn for is peace of mind. Often I think because of my experiences I am truly tired and would like to just close my eyes and sleep forever. I am simply exhausted from life and having to struggled. I am not depressed probably the opposite. I am simply human and tired of having to change. At this point I can no longer be on social services, around family members or “negative people”, go to a doctor who wants me to take medication, or continue living with my mother.

    The good friends I have encourage me to make a decision and follow my heart. Which I can only assume is the counselling program. I simply cannot afford it I think without going into debt. I have never understood money, etc. When I do my budget it is clear that there is just simply not enough to go to school and live on my own in decent housing.

    I have tried accessing services in the past-they simply do not exist here-and the waiting lists are years long and unfortunately the social service providers can only do too so much because the system for people struggling is terrible.

    I am so confused because the advice I am given seems so contrary all of the time.

    And I have been told over and over again to stop seeking advice but when you have never been able to be yourself, grow up properly as a healthy adult that seems terribly difficult.

    People around me say it is okay to take risks and make mistakes. But when I do what I think is right, or follow my instincts-or make mistakes they are unhappy. As well as I.

    The truth? I do not want to work myself to death. I hate how everyone seems to be “rushing” around, using computers and cell phones and commuting, and being exhausted and drinking and smoking and doing drugs or handing out advice that they do not even follow themselves.

    If there was enough time in the day I would eat well, be with friends, exercise, sleep, write, read and stretch and help people. “Traditional” work, sitting in a chair all day in front of a computer or standing all day just will not work for my body anymore. I like having adventures and talking to everyone. But everything costs money. Except for kindness I think.

    So I imagine that the response to this will be to pray, and have faith that everything will be okay.

    The truth is that because of my experiences I can no longer be patient with myself or anyone else.

    I had a world of hurt and I have learned that there is a world of hurt around me.

    And I feel empty inside and terribly alone. Being “practical” suggests getting a full-time job for a year I suppose, being “grateful” to have a roof over my head, learn to accept others as they are, being patient, taking my “time” before going back to school and maybe learning how I can “afford it.”

    But after my past, and the need I feel inside to stop “playing” the game I see others play around me, or simply accepting that 8 hour work days up to 14, and that “money” cannot make us happy but the TRUTH IS we all NEED IT in order to succeed. Or that smoking or eating or drinking or doing drugs or watching t.v. or being on the internet is not the way to cope.

    My past has made me different I think from other people. I have felt and seen things and encountered attitudes and even done things, and been exposed to environments and people that are simply WRONG.

    And I am exhausted and simply empty inside. I cry out of frustration simply because I need help. I cannot just “pray” for it. I know I believe in God, and Jesus and that most people are good regardless of what faith they follow.

    I simply need to change my life. I want spiritual development, and to be around people and have fun and help people and learn about the world and travel and try different food and yes BEING VERY HONEST I WANT TO BE MORE THAN COMFORTABLE FINANCIALLY. I want to be a good person and work but not for minimum wage and my life has to count for something, my intelligence and my heart and the way I care about people – it is sometimes to the point that I would rather see other people happy or succeed more than myself.

    I am tired of struggling and fighting with a mother and a family that wants to keep my in a house, where all my bad terrible memories are. Being around family members, and doctors and caught in a social services system that asks me to go “one” day at a time or to be patient.

    Being impatient and stubborn and trying to change and finally realizing my own values is what got me better in the first place. I truly got myself better along with what I believe was the Grace of God, but I am emotionally and physically exhausted.

    I have finally woken up enough to realize that I have made a ton of mistakes, not lived according to my values but that I am simply human and because my mind works the way it does, I cannot go on like this.

    I need help and I do not know what to do. Because I need out.

  • arc

    I think you can be positive and start doing things you like. Don’t give up on your job, as it is needed for the future, start saving as it will give you freedom. I hope as time passes you will certainly change your life. 🙂

  • Nandini Vasundhara

    Sometimes life just sucks as much as It can . It is quite silly for me to say this as I am only seventeen and I don’t know much about life but sometimes I get so tired and sick of it due to expectations and problems I face . But after reading this post I feel so hopeful and want to do something useful with it . I hope life turns out the way I want it to be as i don’t think i am going to get another one. Wish me all the best and i hope i ll be a better person

  • Moonflea

    i felt like this too. so i moved away from all that. but i need to find a new career now too. hang in there and be sure to take time for you and your son. camping even if you take him out of school occasionally. i get it. i want it too. good luck to you.

  • EvilCinema

    Ok I’ve answered these questions… what now?

  • dave

    I reached the age of 50 milestone today. I climbed the corporate ladder, then bought the company. I have arrived, at the end of someone else’s dream. WTF have I done? Now all that exist in my life is dependent on my income stream, has ownership of my life! I have saved no one least not myself and whom do I blame for the “life not lived” ? “A body in motion tends to stay in motion unless acted upon”. I created my own chains of hell. Yes the accoutrements of life’s success are all available to me now, but how hollow a life.

  • Tim Daniels

    Thank you so much for that.I am a 50 year old guy that’s still in good health and shape but have been I feel been lost my whole life. I’ve been married for 28 years with 3 boys. I feel like I should be further in life. A lot of ups and downs but I’m still here.
    Thank you again

  • Bob

    This is pretty fucking shit. To be honest, like these aren’t deep my answers are all Katy Perry

  • Shanker

    It’s shocking that Teachers’ jobs are becoming stressful, and that they are being pushed more for doing tasks other than teaching!

  • kk

    life is work work work.. after reading, I don’t feel anything. People still need to work everyday… People still need to get money for living or just go to be homeless people.

  • Cl. H.

    1. Nothing.

    2. None, unless you count stuff like “not literally being Hitler”, which is not so much an accomplishment as the bare minimum for even coming close to being a decent person.

    3. My own right to be left alone and to not have to stand for anything.

    4. To be left alone. To migrate north for the winter, so that my year was structued summer-autumn-summer-spring-summer.

    5. Ensure that 4 was achievable.

    6. No-one.

  • Ariyan Wijaya

    Hi sir/ madam.. Would you like some people helping your business there?
    I and some people here might be looking for a new start and me personally will take any prospect chances seriously with doing the best what i can.

  • ricky

    I’m 31 and have been in the social service field for over 5
    years now. I had never really been passionate in my job but it pays the
    bills so I continued. I’ve reached my limit! I cannot see myself
    climbing this ladder or wanting to stay here any longer. My situation is
    that either I move to a different city to live with my in-laws, selling my
    house and sacrificing 4 years of schooling (want to go into computer
    programming, no experience) or I stay here with my job, nice house and all of
    my family. I have a wife and a 2 year
    old daughter to support and very little saving to live off on. I’m really stuck and don’t know what I should

  • Mercurious

    Honestly I started crying when I was reading this too, because I couldn’t think of anything.

    Only one thing really sprang to mind while I was reading. I wish I was on a completely empty beach. It doesn’t even have to be sunny. If I could just be completely alone with nothing but the sound of the waves forever, maybe I’d finally be alright.

  • Martin

    Hey Ladyangler
    I really feel or you and hope you find the light and follow it.
    I moved something in me as I also make a very good salary, well respected, great car, lovely daughter who I seem to live for. Work is lots of talk and no action. I have the powers to change it I am told but still can’r change anything as old powers are still in the way. Long story.
    So, I feel the engine has stopped, WHat can we do when we, the engine, has stopped. Remember an engine doesn’t just start up.

  • Odette

    Sounds to me like you need to be in some sort of tourist venture that promotes your outdoor interests, a zoo or wildlife reserve worker, or perhaps a youth worker, animal shelter volunteer or worker, Less is a lot more !

  • janvi


    how does one improve life at any stage.. if one is not happy with some sometimes one wants to change but donthave the opportunities or options.. is it possible to changeor improve lifeat any stage..many people are struggling to recreate or rebuild the life they want..thanks

  • janvi

    what if one gets no opportunities to recreate again that’s worries many…

  • Tracy Cui

    It’s always the best when you are truly learning what you enjoys

  • MzzBeautifycent Fcm

    Am 21years of age. A ghanaian I completed senior high 3years ago, av worked with different people but all to no avail. I don’t like working for people but yet still I don’t know what I want in life. Am totally lost. I don’t even have the means to start my own business. Please what should I do.

  • Anthony Day

    I just read these six questions and it just made me feel even more lost. The only thing I am say I would do is travel. I have no job, lost my wife of ten years. Have no family to speak of. My Dad who lives 3300 kms. away. I’m alone, scared, lost, and feel worthless. I’m 40 years old and have a criminal record because I was a stupid kid that was an alcoholic. Nobody cares that I’ve been sober for over 10 years. After all I’ve seen and done in my life, I would love to travel and help people. Even if I had billions, I would love to travel and share it with other less privileged people. But how when you’re in employed, sleeping on a friends couch after losing everything again. I have no accomplishments to speak of, can’t afford a hobbie. Everyone see’s the tattooed drunk I was, not the caring, passionate, loving, and insightful man it has made me. I’m in tears as I write this. Where do you begin to find guidance when everyone seems to mistrust you at first glance?

  • Nibin Raveendhran

    thank you

  • thereddiva80

    Thank you for this article. At 35 years old, I feel so lost. I am in a job I hate with only skills in stressful, miserable retail to fall back on. If I go back to doing that now I know my life will be even more meaningless than it is already. I can’t figure out what I want to do, but I know corporate life isn’t for me. Nothing seems to spark any interest however, and I’m at a total loss right now. I feel like my life won’t take a turn for the better until I don’t feel so overwhelmingly stuck in this depression caused by my job and financial situation.

  • Stranger

    Don’t feel bad about ur past.Just see what you have learned all your life,You became a good and caring person.In this World,Everyone born as a good child but situations and cirumstances makes us to do wrong things.It’s not your fault.It tries to teach you something about life.It has made you to realise something that is hidden within yourself.Believe in God,do meditation and calm your mind.

    I think volunteer jobs are best opportunity for you.You can experience alternate lifestyles and immerse yourselves in local culture.If you are interested,google WWOOF.WWOOF connects volunteers to farms – in exchange for 4-6 hours of work a day, volunteers get free accommodation and food.

    If you don’t like the way you are living now ,then change the way you like it.All the best for your future.KEEP HOPE,KEEP FAITH,KEEP SMILE.

  • Stranger

    Don’t feel bad about ur past.Just see what you have learned all your life,You became a good and caring person.In this World,Everyone born as a good child but situations and cirumstances makes us to do wrong things.It’s not your fault.It tries to teach you something about life.It has made you to realise something that is hidden within yourself.Believe in God,do meditation and calm your mind.

    I think volunteer jobs are best opportunity for you.You can experience alternate lifestyles and immerse yourselves in local culture.If you are interested,google WWOOF.WWOOF connects volunteers to farms – in exchange for 4-6 hours of work a day, volunteers get free accommodation and food.

    If you don’t like the way you are living now ,then change the way you like it.All the best for your future.KEEP HOPE,KEEP FAITH,KEEP SMILE.

  • Quinton Docherty

    I work in the motor trade and have been given a good promotion, the job really gets me down I have been working in the motor trade for 16 year so most of my working life.
    I would love to change my trade and would love to be a carpenter but I’m scared to make the leap even though in know its the right thing.

  • Sunil

    The most obviously radical point of the article, to my understanding so far, is figuring out accomplishment in your life. And I, for one, feel so melancholy right now, given there’s nothing in my life coming anywhere near to the definition of ‘accomplishment’.

    At 30 doing works (I love my job, perhaps the only life-supporting thought which keeps me emboldened) that rather are fruitful to my sustenance, I, however, fret over my cowardice for not taking risk to PROVE myself to those eyes looking down on me in their pejoratively condescending glare. God, many opportunities came to my life to prove myself, but pathetic attachment with ‘comfort zone’ and perhaps ‘Imposter syndrome’ I am now at the stage of my life devoid of any real achievement worth-sharable and worth-talking.

    Conclusion is, being ignorant and feeling miserable in life doesn’t hurt that much compared to being educated and still not doing things that could rather have prospered your life.

  • Govind

    I had a good job, left and started an industry. Grown very well. in the process I have borrowed money from bank and lenders. Now I am stuck as there is no production and dont know how I am going to repay the loans.

    Very difficult period

  • Jerome Williams

    You see this is my exact problem right here. I read this entire article and I can in fact being 22 years old answer every single one of these questions off the top off my head like it was nothing because I know what i want I know what I love I know what I stand for. I know who I am and who I want to be so why is it that I am not only not there yet but seem to be stuck in my mediocre life unemployed unhappy I have friends and I constantly feel alone I’m not totally broke right now I have a little bit of money that I dont even know what to do with because its such a small amount. I have all these plans and dreams and amazing ideas and yet I AM STUCK. And the worst part is everyone around me thinks I am the most average person there is. I don’t feel average I never have. I was destined for amazing things in this lifetime so why am I still here in the same place I’ve always been my entire life. Stuck in an unfulfilling life surrounded by people I have nothing in common with and want to be far away from. Why am I still living this ridiculous life and yet still I am able to answer without any hesitation every one of these 6 questions

  • Jerome Williams

    maybe thats it right there. Maybe you need a family

  • Ivan Fil

    I was so blessed after reading this article.. I am 26 yrs old now, got my college degree and passed my licensure exam. My parents always pushing me to work with the public school. I hate it, I want a life for me, not a life they want me to be. They will hate me if I can’t follow their lead. I have dreams for me not for others alone. I want to be me and not to be someone else… I live life like I am free in the prison of a cage.. Thank you for the motivation..

  • Emanuelle Medina

    This isnt working out, its helpful for average people, but it doesnt work for me. any other suggestions?

  • Cindy

    What did you end up doing?

  • guynumsix

    i came for help but canot find any i gave myself fully too two woemn twenty years apart only to be lied to and decieved into believing something untrue i am tierd in soul and body have lost love of everything i used to enjoy im 42 smart can repair just about anything learn fast but my only desire was to find my mate and then i could move forward i see point in life without love not the physical kind but something much deeper which seems nonexhistant or otherwise denied to me sears employes me but fails its employees and i havelost my second andmost dear love she sais im a good manbut shedontfeel my outsides match my insides so i lost her to superficial failings i lost me too i may bedead by the time you read this say a prayer for me please i miss you graciela

  • Futokuko

    Hey Ariyan, Dont be afraid bro. I’m 31 now and I see where your going, and i believe in your ideas. I too think like you do. I have decided to jump into trying to make my hobby my living.
    I dream of starting a small high tech organic farm, and I can no longer resist the urge to start. Ill start small and see from there.

    I have a great job now, 9 to 5 with a decent salary, but I constantly feel empty and unfulfilled. I always believed that i was doing the right thing, go to school, get a job, work hard, start a family etc…but it just does not seem right.

    Nature keeps calling to me.

    Your young, start small, make it a hobby at first. Use the experience to better your ideas..When you feel its time to make a big move, you will know.

    I personally began to resent the worlds around me, I am constantly stressed, nothing makes me happy anymore. This is/was my signal…I have decided to make the move.

    Good luck, and listen to your heart bro

  • Futokuko

    Mrs M,

    That sounds great, I too want to live out of the system with a small farm. How did you do it? did you study agriculture, or herbalism? Do you have any tips for a wannabe organic farmer like me.

    Thanks allot,

  • MissDiVicci

    I’m 27 almost 28. I left my prestigious job at one of the top Consulting firms in the world and did just that: ask myself what I wanted to do. I figure out, while I was working, through therapy, by meeting with a bunch of people and reading a lot that I wanted to be a psychologist – i.e. going back to school for another 5 years. I spent thousands of dollars and studied like a maniac to do the required general tests, wrote a killer admission file, etc etc etc and I applied to 7 universities, 5 all star universities which I was told I had good chances to get in given my stellar academic and professional background and 2 closer-to-home kinda accessible schools.

    Here I am, standing with 7 rejection letters.

    Now, I could apply again. But my file wouldn’t be better given I’ve been working for the family business “in the mean time”. I’d be starting school at 29. I’m a girl. You know what that means…i have limitations and my boyfriend will not wait for me eternally.

    I regret leaving my job and wasting so much time energy and money pursuing a stupid dream that will never come through. Aside from the humiliation of having to tell everyone I was rejected everywhere, I have to face all of the people who told me I was making a mistake by leaving my job without having anything else lined up.

    “It wasn’t meant to be” you will tell me.
    No shit! I will answer

    “Something better will come out of it.”
    This is the bullshit pre-made sentence we say to losers to whom bad shits happen. For something to be better, you have to compare it to something. You never got what you really wanted and so whatever you get after, you’ll never know whether it’s better or not than what you wished for.

    Find yourself ! Find your dream!

    I call bullshit.
    Never been so miserable in life. What’s worse than thinking your dream may come true one day is for your dream to be denied to you, despite you working like crazy, being a good person, being positive, and again working so so so freaking hard that any self-help books would tell you that for sure your dream will come true.

  • Joseph p


  • Joseph p

    Hello my name is jose, I am 24 years of age and very very lost. I feel stuck, unfulfilled depressed, angry and unsatisfied with my life. I am the son of immigrant parents and unfortunately I am a product of my environment. I didn’t have much growing up, my mother did her best to put food on our plates. She played the mother father roll for my siblings and I. As I become older, a young teen I involved myself with gangs. Started hanging with the wrong crowd and ended up prettty much ditching school all in total my senior year, so… I never graduated high school. I didn’t let that hold me back from trying to “start” my adult life. I obtained a job in construction and have been working that industry since I was 19. Ever since i got out of school, school is constantly on my mind but I myself don’t feel intelligent enough to go back and I feel now at my age it may be to late. I battle with this everyday of my life and it is slowly killing me, knowing that I am getting left behind and my friends are advancing and I am slowly getting left behind and this kills me because somewhere in the back of my head something is telling me I have a much greater purpose n life than what I have now. Not only am I battling that, i also battle with living with my girlfriend in her mother’s home, constantly being judged (at least I think) living in their home has helped me, taking care of personal debts and getting my life together. I did not have that opportunity at home. Without a high school diploma in have managed to have a well paying job a car off the lot and able my bills. But I feel that isn’t enough I still feel lost, unworthy unable to be happy. I feel like i am just another Latino statistic and I should be over excelling my parents but I feel like I am failing not only me but my girlfriend and our future. Before I was a very happy and optimistic person, i felt like the struggles i went through in past shaped my to be humble and appreciative of everything but nowadays life is beating the shit outta me and I don’t know how much more i can take it. Please someone help me…..

  • Matthew

    Thanks for sharing. I know what it’s like to feel absolutely hopeless. My mother once said to me “I will kill myself if you don’t improve your grades. You literally have NOTHING to show for yourself other than this”. I heard that when I was grade 8. I thought that my mother, as well as my dad, were saying that to scare me but I realized that she means it. Both of them rarely want to even see me and they seem so ashamed that I am not the son they expected me to be. Some big-shot lawyer or doctor making lots of money. They always have their heads down and they fight over which of them has to drive me to school because they do not like being in a car with me for even 5 minutes. Sometimes it’s because one of them are busy but they usually indirectly tell me that they hate me. During breakfast, lunch or dinner, they never raise their heads to a level where they can see my face and if they attempt to talk to me it’s more awkward than hypothetically doing a presentation on “why black people suck” in front of black people. To make matters worse, people would describe my appearance as “if Shrek underwent plastic surgery to make himself 10 times uglier, he’d still look 2 times better than you ever would”. That’s what a girl said when I asked her to a school dance. It’s actually funny because she’s not wrong. I know that if people cannot maintain eye-contact with me for more than 1 second, even the pizza delivery guy who doesn’t care about anything any more, you know there’s got to be something wrong with how you look no matter how much you tell yourself that you are bearable. Despite this, I analysed my life even further. I have no friends, no goals blah blah blah. It goes on very long that I didn’t even have the self respect to type it without crying myself to death. Sorry for the long rant I like to complain about my life and I thought this rant fits here. But in the end, I thought of every problem that I have and planned a way to fix it. This post helped me.

  • taila

    wish you best of luck ….I just want to say one thing people can’t satisfied in their own life so I suggest you b happy that you are..always thanks to Allah ..He knows better than us…you are lucky that you have job

  • matt

    I’m 31 broke, nearly bankrupt, can’t get a decent paying job to save my life, my wife wants to see other people and I’ve tried to make friends as an adult and nobody wants to hang out ever. I’m overweight and hate how I look.

    It’s hard not to feel hopeless. Sometimes I wish I just would go to bed and not wake up.

    IF I have to endure this much longer I’m just going to give up.

    I don’t have enough money to go get groceries let alone a hobby or the gym.

    If I had a billion dollars? How about $100? I really want to believe there is a way out of this hell but I don’t believe it.

    I’ll try contimplating these questions because what else can I do?

  • Jayne

    Well, Matthew, it sounds like your parents have much bigger issues than with you. Honestly, have you stopped to analyze them as “people” rather than your parents? Here are a man and a woman who seem unable to find enjoyment in themselves, each other, or the lives they have created through their choices. You are a result of their choices and their treatment, but the best bit is that you have autonomy to CHOOSE how you see yourself and what you do with your life from here on in. Our upbringing programs us deeply to the core of our being. It will be a constant fight to overcome your situation and your internal dialog, but it is a fight you can actively choose to fight everyday.

  • Jayne

    First off, you are being way too hard on yourself! You seem like an intelligent person who is trying hard to overcome obstacles in your life and to be a good person. You have good goals and ambitions. Please try not to compare yourself to other people, because they did not have the same obstacles to overcome that you did. Your path and theirs are different. Why do you want to go back to school? Is there a particular type of job or career you want? Why? Imagine the end of your life….you look back on your decisions…what will you be happy about, and why, and what will you think “well, that was silly, or wasteful, or unfortunate”?? Then work backwards and try to find a path to the kind of decisions that will make you feel content. Did you know that if you are over 18 the public community colleges and technical colleges cannot deny you entry, even if you never finished high school? You could study a trade, or business, or get an associates degree in arts or science. Just call or go to your nearest public college, or look at their website. There are lots of options, and they want students like you! And, they can tell you about financial aid options. Don’t get sucked in to for-profit private colleges. Go to the state/government colleges in your area. Also, try to build a relationship with your girlfriend’s mom – tell her thank you for helping you, offer to help her with things she needs; show her you are a good guy. She is human, she knows that all of us struggle at times in our lives, especially when starting on the adult life after high school is over. No one is perfect. And one last thing, you are an adult now, yes, but 24 is still SO FREAKING YOUNG!!! 🙂 you have a lot of time to get life figured out. Many of us went back to school in our 30’s, 40’s or older. You’re a young guy, go easy on yourself. Just start talking to people, ask for help, make some plans, and just do it step by step no matter how long it takes.

  • Jayne

    What tests required you to spend thousands of dollars? (I ask not to criticize but to educate myself on the process). Could you do any of the psych. intro 101 classes or pre-requisites for the degree at your local community college, and then transfer to a 4 year university? Do you still want to be a psychologist? Why do you want to do it? What are your underlying reasons? If you still want to pursue it, find a way in the side door instead of the front door. If you want to change then consider other options that could still fulfill your original reasons, just not in the form of psychology. Take the pressure off yourself for a moment, because good decisions are not made under duress. Your life is your business, not anyone else’s to decide.

  • Jayne

    This was an interesting article, and I can say that I am well aware of my answers for most of these questions. My big problem, however, which I suspect is the same for many people, is that in practical reality what I would like to do costs money. Something I just don’t have. I don’t know wealthy people who could take a chance on me and invest in my plans, and I do not have the kind of money to accomplish the specific things I really would love to do and know I would be good at. So, James McWhinney, getting beyond all the positive psychology navel-gazing, how do we all accomplish those costly plans that we have now dreamed big about thanks to this article?

  • Harsimran Kaur

    Teaching job is so good.. I like spending time with kids… Very young kids especially. They do make you feel free.. But you guys know what.. Many times life feels like a choice between doing what you love in poverty or having a comfortable life with no personal satisfaction… Its all just sad…

  • Anxious Mess

    This here. Your post is the push. In high school, I looked forward to things like rehearsals and extra school-related activities. Now I see *literally everything* as a Need To Do rather than a Want To Do, and because of that, if I don’t practice a “hobby”, I feel guilty. And then the guilt makes it even harder for me to do anything other than get out of bed.

    My therapist keeps saying I’m doing well, but I don’t think I’m expressing clearly enough just how garbage everything feels. Yeah, I am doing well – I have a job related to my degree, I have consistency, I have friends/family, and I also have crippling anxiety/depression. Its killing me.

    Years ago, if I couldn’t sleep for some reason, I’d work on something – a project, reading, anything. Now if I can’t sleep, I don’t get up and work, I lay there and worry about how I need to sleep for work. Because I commute so far.

    TL;DR Sometimes I feel like dying is a better option, because the anxiety and stress is killing me anyway.

    I don’t know what I even like. I used to like music a lot. I was a relatively successful musician but I failed and I’m too far gone from that world to go back (i.e. I have to pay my own way now and I don’t have the means).

    I think I rambled too long but I am having one of those days. Sorry y’all.

  • Tarun Johnson

    There’s not much of a future in terms of $ to be earned in those fields. I had to leave my country and study in the United States to finally get a job here working in the environmental field. What keeps me sane is working for an environmental and community development non-profit on the weekends. Maybe Ariyan should look into such things and see how that works.

  • Tarun Johnson

    Where does the money to run your household come from?

  • Bill karalis

    I love myself ( or I think I do) but hate my life.

  • Sherlock v 2.0

    I am a young aged person in 20’s. I am severely depressed from the last 4 years. In every work I used to take I faced a failure. Or in fact to be frank, I usually start with a failure in my mind. These 4 years was literally nothing in my life. I fear for things which are quiet normal. I don’t know why I am becoming anxious. Is that problem of constipation doing all these or is my fate like this?? .. I don’t know about this. And even I don’t know how to come out. Seeing a young guy in his 20’s speak like this appears very distinct and unique, but I don’t know what I am up to.

    But reading the above article, I didn’t felt that I achieve what I can. I don’t even believe that my all problems, depression, anxiety will be removed by tommorrow, but it gave me a hope to walk away from these problems. I like this article very much.
    Thank you sir for this article.

  • josh

    I have suffer a problem. I want to change but I didn’t change. I have read book for exam but I didn’t read. I can’t change that habit of not reading books. I m not still change yet but I hope to change.

  • irfan ali.

    I am confused lnot with your story,actually my confusion is me only I can’t find in which thing I am best or what I really any suggestions I will be grateful for that.

  • Phil jones

    But what if I don’t have an answer for any of those questions? And I’m not trying to be a jerk I’m serious. I really dont have an answer for any of these questions except “nothing”. What do I love most? Nothing. Never accomplished anything, would do nothing if I wasn’t going to be judged if I was a billionaire I wouldn’t do a thing ever, and I really don’t admire anyone. So where does that leave me?

  • Smiling on the outside

    I’m glad u all found something or at least found the will to begin looking. I’ve hit a low point in my life, much lower than I’d ever thought I could go, and I don’t know what to do. I often wish I’ll fall asleep and never wake up. It’s very depressing. To the point where I actually get upset when I hear people say life is a blessing. Mine has felt more like a curse or a sentence.

  • Ali

    I am 28 year old and working as assistant engineer in Copper Gold mine in pakistan. I am really lost what i actually want to do in my life. I hate this job but cant leave it because i dont know what I want from life. At the time of graduation i wanted to go abroad for further study and live there but now I am confused whether i should go or not. Currently i am thinking to start my own little business in pakistan and work for myself and make my business bigger in pakistan. Anyone out there to help before it will be too late.


  • Jason

    This actually just made me feel worse about my life.

  • sandra

    Hi Lady Angler, I am so sorry you are feeling this way.

    Can you get rid of some of the stressful things in your life like the big cars, etc? Can you downsize to less things?

    I hope you are well.

  • Simppa

    It’s never too late, my dear. I sincerely hope you find your calling. Godspeed!

  • Lochan Vyas

    All, some suggetsions.

    This are absolutely great questions but I know hoe difficult is to answer. So i would like to suggest a method to answer those.

    1. Do not answer very quickly, think and rethink on it and ask yourself that, Is this what you really feels about?

    2. Now someone might not get answer for many days, for some question, don’t feel that you are so dumb that you do not know your life, Guys if you take longer for this to answer, meaning you are truly thinking on this and truly wants to change the life

    3. One would answer very speedy about who are your inspirations, greatest achievements: But two things:
    i. If you write someones name as your inspiration then ask yourself, do you truly follow that persons quality if you are taking his name.
    ii. Achievements maybe many in life, but true achievement is when we think yes this is what I was needed ask your heart is this what you are about to write.

    4. Finally the way I am going to do this, I will think on every question deeply and meditation helps me in this to ask the answers to my subconscious mind.

    Thanks guys hope I posted right thing.:)

  • Jia Jia

    Should I be controlled or Should i just live my own life or even change my life when I am not stuck in other beliefs already?It’s kind of a psychological thing but I can relate to this page somehow..I am stuck in my past self.

  • Now is the time

    I sympathize with you all I’m a 40 year old widow with 2 kids. After my husband died I decided to quit my job and move to a different state, the best decision I made… But now I’m struggling financially but I refuse to get a traditional job where I’m going to be miserable all over again.. I don’t know exactly what I want to do with my life but I’m going to pursue a real estate license and see where it leads me..

  • Sehiza Oh

    This just made me realize that I just wasted 3 years of my life, my studies aren’t going anywhere I’m not matching my parents expectations my self esteem is at rock bottom I’m not happy with myself even I’m at the age of 20 it feels like time is really passing by so fast, this is giving me hope I can do it I’m just at beginning.

  • Passing through

    Hello, well I guess it has been 3 years since you wrote this post and I am just seeing it now. Sometimes circumstances change a lot and sometimes a little. I would love to hear from you being 2016. Sending love your way

  • Passing through

    How are your ideas going? I wonder if you started..even a little. I hope you did

  • Passing through

    How are you today?

  • Futokuko

    Hey, Yes i have started…. in a sense, had to sell the idea to the wife first, and luckily enough she agrees and support me. technically I am still where i was since my post, but I have already activated a plan to make the big jump. Hopefully within a year and a half we can move and i can get my hands dirty :D.

    The plan has also evolved from the high tech farm to a hybrid farm/b&b/resort, i..e more sources of income to keep us a float.

    having this in mind has really helped me with the day to day grind. it gives me hope and motivates me daily, the plan reminds me to not take work too seriously, its just work and its not life. sometimes its hard, not because of work but because I am too excited and impatient to make it happen….i just have to be pace myself….

    how about you?

  • Futokuko

    it wasnt always like this….what did people do before official currency…money is not everything…

  • Futokuko

    any news? how you been?

  • Michael

    When people say, love music, in fact it’s wrong because you can’t love material things but, you can say, like it. Love is not connection because is Bio Energy what is created by man and woman and of course, do not have anything with Sex what is controlled by Instinct of Conservation.
    So, you want tell to the people you like. Also, the choice of good or bad life is a mistake because all of you depend of this System where you must pay taxes if you want live because another people work for every of you like: make bred, give power energy, hot for Winter, medical assistance, repair, mail, transports, school, library and many other’s material stuff. This System created you for himself not for to be you free.
    This System created you to be afraid to live your perfect freedom life and for that, the System teach you slowly slowly do not love your parents or to give affection day by day to them. So, all of you live to contribute each other around and this make some hope to understand from out of this System, there are people to make you happy if you can give Valor to them for what to do for you when you need. So, to live like, and to give Valor to other’s around you it’s real life and you can anytime begin to construct True Love and that mean you are out from the System for ever and you do not depend anymore from FEAR of the System, you, REBORN and fell completely Real Life with Love. I write many years about all of you but just because I am not a personality does not mean you do not see my articles about what all of you try to hide with yours MASK day by day and I don’t want all of you to waste your’s life with masks and lie each other to not be afraid of this System what make you slave from child and separate you from your family and encourage to be selfish and, when you are alone, you are better controlled to be afraid to fight against System for real Freedom.

  • SDM

    I hope you are doing okay. You mentioned you were a relatively successful musician, do that on the weekends, or when you have time off. Start slowly. Lack of sleep is adding to your anxiety, so step back, breathe, slow your mind. Start a project… think, layout what you want to do and take it from there.
    As an RN, I was/ am anxious, so much less now, but when I was driving to and from work,I started listening to Christian radio, talk, music, and that was the only way my anxiety was reduced. The calmness and message of the songs build you up. Take care and trust in yourself.

  • SDM

    If you don’t like being a nurse, don’t do it! It doesn’t get better.

  • abdelillah

    hey there ! , my name is abd el illah im 20 years old from algeria ,idk why i have lost a great thing in my life ” the joy ” since my gf left me a lot of thing’s bad thing … happened to me lately , i dont really care about what ppl think or say about me but i just want them to stop i dont show my weakness not even my feeling idk even know why im a righting this right now , i think im sick of my self i want to be me again all the joy and the happiness that once i had , i want that feeling back im not depressed and i refuse to be , anyway i hope u will read this and help me out that would be great
    ”love abdel illah

  • Yara

    Hello Abdou 🙂 I just read your comment and I hope this will help . I want you to know that I have been there before I gave lost what I called joy and kept thinking that nothing can make this better I cryied in secret asked for God to guide me and waited for a better situation but nothing of that really was making things right .. until I found out that you creat your own happiness .. change how you see it ! Open your eyes and start all over again ! You are too young life is waiting for you .. and it’s never ever too late ! ♡ if you wanna talk more .. please don’t hesitate :’)

  • zakir

    I am 32. stutter a lot,my job sucks but pays well. I write software by profession.
    Two years back broke up with my love of 9 years, hence single.she is married now.
    Parents and family are quite messed up,so not very attached to them.
    Staying alone in a 2BHK.
    An alcoholic, in fact i did not touch alcohol for good 11 months,started again recently.
    Hate fake people but sadly every single person around me is fake,having said that, there are exceptions.


    I wake up blank,smell like booze,regretting every conversation which i had with people while drunk,absolutely no clue for the day. Reach office but never find anything which motivates me to work willingly. Use to think about life the whole day. No clue what i really want from life.Money is important but i am not crazy about it. I want to change my job but i am shit scared to face interviews as i stutter a lot.sometimes want to sleep forever but the idea of death scares me,basically the pain scares me. i feel really sad to see old people,homeless and begging. Sad and scary at the same time,old age scares me. I do not want to marry but people ask me some very valid questions,that who will take care of you when you will grow older.

    dont even know why i am posting all this.

  • Jagvir Singh Rai

    First of thanks for this post. I have read many many post about life changing but at the end i came across to one thing and it is Money. I did job in airport and it sucks. I am nature and wildlife lover and always want to be wildlife photographer but my parents dony allow me because they are afraid of wild nature.(during job at airport, one foreigner asked me one simple question. ” what are the things that you would do for your entire life with love and dont get paid any penny? My answere was wildlife photography”) I am indian and live in below mid class family. Have no money to purchase new dslr and start a photography career on my own as it is expensive hobby. And if i will do job for 2 3 years, i will hardly save that much money for my photography career. I dont know what to do and how. Please any one give me best advice

  • f*ck my life

    These questions didn’t change my life.

  • Ryouga Uchiha

    My name is Anthony Webster, and I am 21 years old… throughout my teenage life I wan never a mental person even till this very day, I never cared about money, all I have been hearing is others telling me get a job, do this or do that and your right societies expectations is what gains the life out of me and it’s what puts me in the struggle for the longest and holds me back from my desire to the point where I lose all faith and pray for my death to come faster than it should, but not one person came up to me and asked me what do I want to do in life or what are my ideas, not even my own mother. Thanks to you I’m done listening to others and finally stand out and take action on what my intuitive says to me, when I get home my own journey starts today and if people asked I look them in theirs and tell them without hesitation.


    (Thank you in Japanesse)

  • Ryouga Uchiha

    My name is Anthony Webster, and I am 21 years old… throughout my teenage life I was never a mental person even till this very day, I never cared about money, all I have been hearing is others telling me get a job, do this or do that and your right societies expectations is what gains the life out of me and it’s what puts me in the struggle for the longest and holds me back from my desire to the point where I lose all faith and pray for my death to come faster than it should, but not one person came up to me and asked me what do I want to do in life or what are my ideas, not even my own mother. Thanks to you I’m done listening to others and finally stand out and take action on what my intuitive says to me, when I get home my own journey starts today and if people asked I look them in theirs and tell them without hesitation.


    (Thank you in Japanesse)

  • Mirian

    I hope you have found a solution. You sound like a person who has too good a heart to be in this corporate poison. And the fact that you’ve expressed your dislike for the greed and sleeze tells me your soul has not been corrupted, that is, you have a conscience. I wish I could help you but I’m in the same scenario. Be assured you’re not alone and we understand and empathize with you. I hope that gives you strength. Lots of love.

  • Mick

    I’m sorry all (yet again) a heaping pile of steaming shit, there is no truth to find in any statements other than the emence BS that people like thos person and countless others con people in to believing! Actually analysis what is said it’s all nonsocial, imagine if you had a billion dollars… Imagine this imagine that now do it, no life doesn’t work like that unfortunately life is unfair, I have had to deal with it along with many others all our lives. I’m dealing with it right now. Non of these questions above will find you happiness, they will find you deeper in sorrow, depression and self hate by the time you find out it doesn’t work. I have had to watch too many people I have cared for through my life have the same attitude that this plonker is portraying, who have listen to the rubbish that is spouted from these leeches of society! Do you know what all of them have ended up worse… Why? Because common sense and reality rule. The only people that make it are those that publish this junk, again I know people who have actually had books published on similar, self building crap and they are taking it in…. But guess what because I know deeper into their lives than their FB page shows or what their friends blinker them selves to see, I know they are more miserable than ever.

    I have a philosophy for you, prefer for the worse and hope for the best, you see pessimism is the best tool to not only survival but also surprisingly being realisticly happy, life will more than likely let you down things that are in your control and you make the wrong decision, or things out side your control. Most of the time it will be negative. Thing is if you have already prepared for what you think is the worse the blow is lessened, alot! It doesn’t go away, but it’s a hell of a lot less than being all positive and living in cloud cuckoo land believing things like positive thinking and positive thoughts are going to work! They don’t, not one bit, not one tiny bit, in fact they make things 1000 times worse when (and it is more likely) things don’t turn out as planned or things go wrong! Again watched Danny people fall for the rubbish written above, and are brainwashed in to it, they defend it to the hilt! I have watched my own mother get suckered in by complete tw@ts like this guy above thinking positive etc, doing things she wanted to do aiming etc. And guess what well it’s all gone very very wrong, to the point that not only has she managed to bankrupt her self and my dad but also me trying to bail them out. So you know what stick your BS up your arse along with your head you Muppet!

  • gunna

    I am on disability for mental depression. I am also being sabotaged every time I work a job, and am not allowed to go far. I am also being pushed into assaulting my sabotages, but I won’t do it. I don’t understand why this happens everywhere I go. All I do is be nice and work. My last job , there was no need for employer to humiliate me in front of everyone , and there was no need for employees to become over competitive. Now I am jobless, I owe money back to social security, and those hag’s are still working. I am stuck. I want to move from here but can’t come up with the first dime. Oh, wait a minute. Someone sent meca cashiers check, but I won’t cash it. It feels like a scam. I am separated of two years from my wife, and a landlord who was fired not long after had my truck towed, and I couldn’t even save it because I don’t have a license. Do you have any advice for me? I’m not comparing myself, but if it had a corporate job,I could figure my way from there. So that’s almost like half way bragging to me, unless this is an office blog, then I’ve set myself up for people judging me who have more than me. I just feel I seriously need advice.

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  • Ariyan Wijaya

    thanks bro.. sound like we are not all alone 🙂

  • Ariyan Wijaya


  • Robinea’

    Whatever you do, just DO NOT give up! I know the feeling, and that’s me looking BACK at when I was your age and I felt the same way about things/life. I was only existing, not living. I didn’t like people seeing my vulnerability so instead of “venting” or talking to people, I’d keep a journal. EVERYDAY, I would sit down and write in it about what I was feeling that day or what had happened during the day, etc… I hate to say it but it took about three to four years for me to break out of that miserable funk I was in, but it did eventually happen. I think it was when I started to make myself be more sociable, as I had kind of backed off on going out and doing anything. Then one day I forgot to write in my journal. Then the next thing I knew, I had forgotten about the journal completely. See, the thing was, I ONLY wrote in the journal when I was UNHAPPY with life. When things started turning around, I stopped waiting for the end of the day when I could vent to my journal. It MIGHT would help. I’m sorry for the way you’re feeling, and I hope you find strength and motivation QUICKLY, as like I said, I know how you feel, and it’s not a fun feeling. Just keep the faith, persevere, and you will be okay. I promise. I”m 46 years old NOW, and if I could do it when I was your age, you can do it to. Something else that use to help me, and I know it’s gonna sound crazy, but this REALLY DID help as well, was anytime I was sitting down and had nothing to do, I’d daydream about what I WANTED or wished my life to be life. I’d make it as vivid as possible in my mind. I’d do that OFTEN, but I started with JUST BEING HAPPY sort of daydreaming. Anyway, I think that had something to do with my mindset and life changing as well. It seems everything I use to daydream OBSESSIVELY about, has come to fruition. So you might try that to. Like I said, I know that sounds crazy, but it really did work with getting me out of that funk I had been in. Anyway, that’s my advice. Whatever advice you do end of using, I wish you well, and hope you a speedy, VERY SWIFT recovery from feeling like that.

  • Shiv Chatterjee

    Lady Angle pls let me know if you have hit your target with your hobbies and wishes as I do have ditto liking about life and still unable to find myself in a mading crowd

  • sakura

    i love this post! rn i am taking a course that i thought about but i m second guessing on it. And my don’t wanna let down my parent since we left our home to western country to live a better life. Honestly i wasn’t ready to go college but my parent didn’t want me to take break. i been feeling down and crying myself sometimes. I feel helpless.

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  • Tin

    Hi, did you already found the help you were looking for?

  • santhiya

    Hi guys. I am 19 year old and i am doing my under graduation. I have a variety of interests in me. But I am in a situation where I should take over my family in 3 more years. I am comfortable with that. But the only thing I am confused about is I am simply sitting at home for past one and a half months and I literally dont know what to do to be productive and kill my time as well. I am not the type who wants slow growth and less money. I possess a kind of business mind which calculates productivity and profit in everything I do. still, sitting ideal kills me. My parents are wondering how did I become so lazy that either sleep or sit simply. I dont know whether the way I am is right or wrong. But somewhere in my heart I could feel that I am neither satisfied nor happy. I couldn’t see my family suffering even though its their job. I just wanna help my family but I stay confused almost all the time thinking what to do next. Can anybody tell me something that would bring clarity in me?

  • lostandbroken

    Same here LadyAngler, my life has been totally screwed up and feel at a ccomplete loss, can’t find anything good about my life, let alone anything of value about myself.

  • Anaha

    These questions revealed to me that I wanted to be independent, that I wanted to explore the world and enjoy all the little wonders nature could give me.
    Financially, this dream is impossible and there are people in my life who I need to take care of. I can’t focus on my dreams without abandoning the people who mean so much to me.

  • Kayla E.

    I am inspired and joyfull while I am reading all of your comments because I’m only 13 and I am learning to always follow my heart even though I don’t want to so I can “fit in”if you have any advice for me reply so I can learn what to do in a situation that you were in thank you very much.

  • Rachel

    Joe, you sound like me – always searching for more. For greater meaning. I have sabotaged some good things in my life, searching for more. But there has to be more than this corporate grind. There’s only so much longer I can do that for. I simply can’t see the use in wasting my life in an office with backstabbing coworkers who are only interested in clawing their way to the top of the corporate food chain, whilst dragging you down. For what? Prestige. Money. More shiny things. That doesn’t interest me. I don’t buy things anyway, but I would never want to sell my soul for more stuff. I do need a house over my head though. A nest egg. The rest of it? Nope. It’s not worth it.

  • Rachel

    Dez, I have no idea what path you ended up choosing, or if you’ll even read this, but I hope you don’t still feel behind. I’m 30 and I sometimes feel behind on all the life stuff but I’m now in a decent paying corporate job, and I still feel behind. Problem is, I don’t even want the stuff that I feel behind with. I’m thankful my job pays ok now, but I’m saving like crazy to get out of the corporate world again. I don’t know what I’ll do when I leave though. Life seems like a constant rat race – scrambling to find a way out, but to no avail.

  • Danii Posadas

    It’s 2016. I’m 26 years old and I feel my life is only passing by. Hate my rutine, hate my job and sometimes even myself. I have always wanted to do something outside the box, that of having the same boring job all my life cant be all. It just can’t !!!! I’m Mexican and honestly, I need to change RIGHT NOW. Dont know quite how to start though but this surely helped… a lot. I answered everything and actually considering leaving my job tomorrow, sit down with a coffee and think my next step. Thank you!!!!!!!

  • Snowy

    I feel like I can’t breathe every time I have to show up to my current job. I feel like am trapped and don’t know how to move forward. I feel not stuck but trapped unable to move and unable to leave.

  • ऋतु ऋतु

    Great article Mr. James, I have to thank you lots and lots for giving us this. Be blessed.

  • SuicidalCat

    My dream job actually can’t be called a job lel, I would want to be in charge of a company which would exist just to cover up what is actually going on and in perfect scenario there would be groups of people spread around town that don’t have anything to do with me and my life and the company, just minding their own business and I come along and fuck with their lives out of sheer entertainment

  • Bitter Wench

    If I had a billion dollars, I would give it away. Having or spending a billion dollars on what I want, would not make me happy.
    If I had absolutely no limits, and could have it all, and do whatever I wanted, I would die painlessly in my sleep ten days from now. I’d need time to put my affairs in order first.
    I have achieved several things, but would not call any of them “accomplishments” or “great”.
    If I knew no one would judge me, I would establish a public voluntary euthanasia center; anyone could go there for a quick, painless death—free of charge.
    I do not truly know anyone well enough to bw inspired. Also, it is a terrible burden when you force someone to be your inspiration.

    I’ve never been in love. Ever.

  • Marie-Pier

    I read this and I saw a lot of things similar in each answers. I need to dig into it to find what is my purpose.


  • Zack

    This is nothing but a bunch of clichès that don’t help anybody with anything. Its essentially “think of what you want and go get it.” I thought this might help me figure things out, but its just another piece of “inspirational” garbage. Feeling more depressed/trapped than i did before reading.

  • peeet

    Well I’m really depressed and fucked. I work milking goats for cheese. I have to milk 38 goats dry every hour. If the goat isn’t dry as bone then my boss punches it in the tit and hits me in the balls and neck/face. I really want to kill him and take all his money and his land. I will now thanks. I’ll eat all the goats and buy several whores.

  • Doesn’t matter

    That lady who runs the tiny Buddha website on the picture at bottom of a page is very beautiful… I like her a lot, I even think that she smells very nice too… probably some exotic smell… Like mix of coconut, banana and pineapple. Anyway, cheer up lady Angler, you who’s 50 years old, I’d read your story, look around,there is so many nice people everywhere… Just go to the bottom of this page and you see the very first one, I’m telling you,she’s looking nice, than do the same in corporate work, whatever that means, just look at them and give them a hug or smile, whatever you feel for and when you see everybody, than you will find a passion in a job you already do, and than you find happiness 🙂 … Anyway,tell your boss to get rid of the toxics,it’s not good for them either… And if you afraid of losing your job for saying, then tell them I said so, just please, don’t give them my email address, because it’s full of spam and I’m affraid that I wouldn’t find a time to answer they corporate comments. Anyways… I wonder what’s her name… Maybe she has some very romantic name such as Julia or Angelica perhaps… Well, enough of writing, midnight just past here in eastern block, I got to wake at 3:30 good night and good luck to everyone.

  • Sharmaine Lorenzo

    Hi Ariyan Wijaya, I just read your comment today year 2017. This comment was 2 years ago. I am curious how’s your life now. I hope that life treats you well. Sharm here from the Philippines

  • Sharmaine Lorenzo

    I am 23 too. Seems like I’m not the only one checking for something that “might” help myself to know what to do. I am here sitting on the bed. Thinking what to do in my life. I used to work in a not so corporate world. I was depressed and not passionate in what i am doing. I am not really happy. In addition to that I have to work to those people who doesn’t care about me. Now I was able to leave that company and thinking what to do next. Then I thought a lot of things that I want to do. Then I realized at the end of the day. I still want to work in a Cruise ship.. I am expecting more hard work there and low salary but I am pretty sure that I will be happy there. No regrets:)

  • bized

    This just made me realise how depressing my life is

  • Ximena Jattin Balcazar

    People always say that dreams are what matter, fight for them no matter what… I turned 23, graduated and I felt resistant towards my major. it is ok but does not bring me true joy. I always dreamed of being a vet, at least as a child. After graduating, I got accepted in vet school, I had to face science subjects and I was working at the same time. It was overwhelming and everybody in vet knew more about animals and chemistry than I did . I felt exhausted and so useless, I couldnt get anything right. I am not sure… what really matters, if I stay in vet, I’m scared I ll fail at any given time because I am not as good as the rest, if i get to finish the major I’d be 30 by then and I would still depend on my family, . All my colleagues are doing something out of their lives, they travel and are productive, I cant feel more lost in life or scared or feeling I am burden to my family for this. As much as I ask myself, I cant get it right. Maybe its a silly stubborn fantasy.

  • No one

    I hate this kind of “advice.” All it ever does is make me feel worse. I don’t love anything, I haven’t accomplished anything, I will never have a billion dollars, and it is impossible to have a life without limitations. And it is COMPLETELY UNTRUE that just because you have a desire for something, that you have the ability to do it. If these questions are the key to a happy and fulfilling life then I will never be happy or fulfilled.

  • Deborah Gilson

    Dear James ~

    Your article and the questions you suggest one asks themselves ignites hopes in me. I answered the questions out loud to myself without hesitation and now I’ll write them on my notepad.

    My goal is “making something of myself” before April 2nd, my 57th birthday. Thank you again, James.

    Deborah Gilson,
    Redding, CA.

  • ProfessorRabbitShaver

    4 and 5 are BULLSHIT. No one has that kind of money and shouldn’t tease themselves about it. That’s like asking a starving child from a third world country what kind of banquet they’d want. They know they aren’t going to get it and right after that thought they go back to feeling like shit.

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  • ProfessorRabbitShaver

    Ah, TinyBuddha, the place where you can speak your mind as long as they agree with it. Agree with TB or have your comment deleted.

  • pratibha biju

    I really stuck with my life as what to do with my life and not to do. As i had interest in so many fields that could not even stuck to one always. I too want to help my husband as well by helping them financialy but i don’t know where to start with. life really become a hack now. I am 27 year old girl. I tried a lot to know what my inner sights are looking for, what should i do to achieve the best life, i just need a help over this. Can you please suggest something.

  • ts

    What if the answer to all of the questions is nothing or Nobody

  • Localpotato

    perhaps no one will really read this, but i just feel like i really need to get this off my chest… I’m in high school and have done very average overall in my grades. But, I just feel like something is missing in my life. I don’t have any terminal disease, difficult family circumstances or rich parents. I’m just and ordinary kid. Maybe most of you guys would read this and think “what could you have possible experienced in life, kid, compared to us?”. But i just can’t help to feel empty inside. There are so many extraordinary people out there, so much to learn and experience yet I’m stuck here in school studying for my university exams. I don’t know what pathway i want to follow. I look around me and think “am i really the only one here who’s goalless in life?”. Maybe I’ll never know, but i guess its true about what they say. As time goes on, we’re forced to walk forward. I can’t accept being ordinary, I don’t want to be binded my social expectations. Nothing is absolute in this world, life is full of uncertainties and what I want is to also follow my own desires. I just hope that as I attempt my first steps into true success, that perhaps many others would also be taking their own steps forward, whether they’re young or old, male or female, poor or rich. I guess life wouldn’t be called life if we never had any experiences, huh?

  • Erin Smrekar-Plier

    Oh honey, I’m so sorry. A lot of us did what you’ve done; we need to protect our family, etc.. I’m right behind you; trying to be ‘fearless’ at 41. I’m slowly trying to get into writing, without it affecting my current job until I can support my kid & I with my writing skills. I Know there’s something you LOVE to do, or have always wanted to try. Let’s go for it, what do we Really have to loose? Hope by this time next year you’ll be really Living 🙂

  • Erin Smrekar-Plier

    Hi there Ariyan :). Yes, I’m curious too how things are going for you (also 2017 now)! I do know that parent’s/family pressure is just as hard to overcome as getting the money you need to do what you want. I hope you were able to break free & do what you want to do! Let us know! I, myself would like to know if you overcame family pressure!

  • ProfessorRabbitShaver

    See I said the same thing and TB deleted my comment

  • Ariyan Wijaya


  • Kathleen Carter

    I have a love hate relationship with my job
    Burned out I’m 44 years old and I’m going to
    Take a leap of faith and quit my job and start
    Enjoying the journey along the way and see
    What happens other words I’m jumping off
    The cliff and hopefully I land on my feet
    Metaphorically speaking

  • Heather Pink

    what do I do when I have nothing I enjoy anymore? I’m a mother of 2 and have lost the person I was before I had kids. I get to do nothing for myself, literally ever, a husband who picks and chooses when he wants to be active in our life (which are rare moments), have lost my friends because of my having to do the family/kids thing alone without any outside help, have problems from my childhood which have sprang up unexpectedly four years ago and are continuing to cause problems each day in my life. Its changed relationships with family I once had and ive never really had either parents to confide in so I’m left trying to cope alone. I literally have no one and am only here for everyone elses needs and never getting my own met. How do I answer questions like these when I feel I have absolutely nothing left in me, nothing that ive looked forward to for years now, waking each day feeling like I’m drowning, and only still here because I cant live with the thought of my kids blaming themselves and having no one who truly loves them the way I do if I’m gone. How do I answer questions when each day is nothing but pure pain and if I’m lucky a glimpse of maybe something that might make me smile? ive lost almost everything and I don’t know how to deal…

  • Jessey

    Man, I wish I could do the stuff all of you guys do. I’m 22 and suffer from an extreme anxiety disorder. I barely graduated high school because of it. (2013) Since than, my life has been nothing but hell. I feel so lost in life to the point I have no idea what to do. I honestly don’t understand the point of life. People say “God put you here for a reason.” I have yet to find my reason. I can not do anything. Anytime I leave my house, I get so sick and throw up. I can not keep a job. I get so anxious. All I want to do is provide a happy life for my beautiful girlfriend. Since I have been unable to do that, I feel like a complete failure. I’ve tried different medication and therapists. Nothing worked. I wish I had an opportunity to move away from my home town and start somewhere fresh. I’ll never have the money to do that. I’ve been stuck in this funk and i don’t know how much more I can take. I don’t even know why I’m typing this right now. In the end, it will be pointless and nothing will come of it. For all of you people that did get through the hard times in your life, whatever it may be, I’m happy for you. I’m happy you get to enjoy life. Get out there and make something of yourself. Cause God knows I would die to have a life worth living.

  • buscador

    A very easy thing to do is to start with is EFT by Gary Craig. Then you run out all your mis-emotions, with guidance by knowledge from Ruth Minshullś e-book “how to choose your people”.
    We are living in a dual universe that means that every thing must have something to be compared to. So, re emotions, a lower emotion discharges placed by the side of a higher emotion like a electric capacitor. This is step one to get rid of low emotions so your IQ surges. It is things to DO and not much thinking to it. Thinking does not do any good from start.
    There are lots of help to find, but psychology is not a way out as it is a control tool. Take also later a look into Aspectics, yawnguy and clearbird and you’r on your way.
    And scrap the TV and read books about things that enhance your doingness and abilities. To watch TV makes you store in the mind pictures not of your own makings. The more YOU know the more interesting people you meet.
    And, no drugs what so ever if your not dying. Good natural food and clean water and a minimum of white suger.
    That is for a starter and it is assiduous work but not difficult.

  • Thatnk you for trying. Maybe I’m just in a bad place but I didn’t really get anything from your 6 questions:

    What do I love about my life? I don’t really know anymore.

    Accomplishments? Lots but none of them feel compelling to do again

    Stand for if no one would judge me? Not sure what this question means. Maybe I’d make some erotica if I wasn’t judged but otherwise I don’t seen judgement as limiting my options

    Ideal life? I’ve tried this excersize many times but for me it never leads anywhere. It’s always abstract as in “be happy in a happy loving relationship doing an amazing fun and meaningful work with wonderful people”. I don’t have a concrete answer . See #1

    Billion $$$: that one is hard because I’ve had the experience of having enough not to have to work for 10-15 years and I found it crippling. I could argue the issue is it wasn’t a billion. Assume I was living like a college student on $15k a year. So $150k savings = ten years no job if I want. But it’s not enough to so anything risk free. For example if I decided to use that money to make a product and it failed I’d have to go back to work therefore risking it is a little scary. Scary is probably the wrong word. Knowing that I’ll need a job anyway when the money runs out means I should take the risk and if it’s a hit maybe I’ll be able to keep being self sufficient but it also means it’s extremely hard to decide which particular risk to take since I only get one chance.

    That also brings up that IMO few people can truly answer this question. You won’t know until you’re there. A billion? Lots of people might say “open a bookstore” or “open a cafe” or “open a bar” but like those ideas most are not true dreams and when faced with actually doing those things it turns out before doing them they only saw the 10% fun part and missed the 90% no fun parts. With a billion I might just be a VC and invest / participate at my will in various interesting projects. Maybe sponser some large events no worries about making a profit on them. How does that help me decide what to do without a billion?

    Who do I admire most? Almost no one. The more I read the more it’s clear luck plays a HUGE factor in people’s success. That not to say I therefore give up nor does it mean I don’t admire truly talented people . More it’s just realizing the difference between Bill Gates and Philippe Kahn is mostly luck. Remove the luck and like you probably don’t know who Philippe Kahn is you wouldn’t know who Bill Gates is. He’d just be some CEO of a forgotten company.

    Sorry if this is comming from a negative place. Looking for ideas and appreciate your thoughts

  • NattyProductions .

    I already know who I am and exactly what I want. But I’m still struggling though alot of obstacles that are being put in my way! I am going through rehab and getting counselling and my coounsellor is proud of me. But I have transport problems cos I can’t get permit cos I can’t get meds for ADHD cos therapist won’t give cos I did drugs years ago. So I’m struggling cos I’m writing a book and looking to get a band and business but I have no way to arrange things due to bo transport. How do I get around this please?! I’m suffering depression and anxiety over all this cos I know I can give gift to the world and i keep getting problems. I want to do things so badly. I’m going to try to get things sorted but it’s seriously depressing me. I’m crying everyday. I just want chance in my life.

  • Rin Okumura

    this was a really good article thanks

  • Jenni Geneta Sison

    thank you for this. I am 26 yrs old and I am just lost.

  • Useless

    I know exactly what I’d do if I had a billion dollars and no other barriers. How the heck does that help me change my life? I know that I’ll never come remotely close to ever being able to do it.


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  • Radha

    Hi! I am Radha and I am 18 yrs old.I don’t know what happened with me but it seems that last 3 yrs had stole something from me. M not me anymore, I lost the confidence in myself,I just hate what I became, I laugh more than before but not happy from my inner soul.I became a completely confused person who don’t know what she wanna become in her life,nothing excites me don’t know where my interest lies,other always praise me but i m never been able to see any qualities that i have, i always feel imperfection in me,i don’t know why i hate myself that much.Now It seems like m not living the life it’s like m just passing the time I have.M sick of my thinking that why it matters me what people thinks about me,say about me.M tired of maintaining a good image in everyone’s sight because it make me feel like m not me anymore. I don’t know what m doing in my life but it’s something that i never even desired to do.I had left my study last year after completing my 12th with subjects PCMB,I was an average student and then took a year gap to decide what i really wanna become and to know where my interest lie but almost a year passed now and m still working as a marketing executive,the job that sucks me, the job i just hate to do and m still unable to decide what i wanna become, m too much worried about my future now.M ruining my present in worry of my future.Life seems like an endless journey, a big sea in which m sailing without any direction,m unable to discover myself,what i m, what’s my uniqueness and what i wanna be.Please help me…help me to get out of it…….otherwise it will take me deep down in the dark…from where i will never be able to come back………..

  • Marie Shiro

    I’m 26 and my life has basically been a roller coaster for as long as I can remember. Struggling with eating disorders, depression, anxiety and abuse for most of my life. I have never gotten help, because no one believes I have a problem, since I’m good at hiding the truth.

    But in the last 8 years, my past of pretending to be a happy fully functional person is disappearing. I studied Graphic-Design and have yet to work within that field. After losing my job, in 2016 (I was working as a product photographer and a Customs and Compliance clerk), I was out of work for almost a year. So I got the brilliant idea of wanting to become a florist and after starting three months ago, I’m quitting. I have only worked in job fields where the pressure is high and the stress levels are even higher. After being called a plant murderer and a flower rapist, I can no longer take the daily bullying.

    I’m out so seek a job that suits me and have decided to start my own blog, healthy living, diy’s and fresh clean recipes. I have Hashimoto and can not take all of this stress anymore, I suffer from extreme brainfog and fatigue. Which doesn’t mean I’m dumb, it’s the exact opposite, I maybe slower as I once was, but I do learn fairly quick. My mom(49) was recently diagnosed with stomach cancer and it made me realize just how short life is. I no longer want to waste my life, working a terrible job, dealing with bullying at work and having no help with my own problems. This is the year of change, my goals are to seek professional help, get a part time job and use my spare time to start my own Business (Blog).

    I hope all of you can find what is right for yourself, your soul and your heart and mind. It’s time to break free of the shackles we lock our selves up with, time to find the key and unlock what our new future brings.

  • Alice

    This really helped me work out who I am. I’ve left university two years ago, got a little bungalow and a good job. But the job sucked at my soul and I found myself falling into a pit of darkness. i decided to move into my parents house to try and achieve my dream of working in television. I’ve had some success but in the meantime I have got a small job but my money is very low. I have little to no social life and worked out that the job I’ve been trying for is not what I want to do. Everything till this moment, all the studying and workmen for free will not help me do what I want to do or become who I want to be. I’m stuck not knowing what to do because what I want to do I cannot do without money to support myself. I’m only 22 and yet I feel like I am being crushed by the expectations of society, watching my friends succeed where I seemingly keep trying to no avail. This has told me what I want to do, but I already knew that and I already knew what I valued but making myself be that person. Taking an even deeper risk is not something I can do. For now I would take finding a job to support myself and then I can work towards this new goal. But I don’t know how to pull myself out of the darkness, or to face the oncoming storm that I feel is coming every day. I am going to begin though, by doing the one wish I can do. Wake up and see the sunrise, walk at night without fear. With these little steps maybe I can fulfil my life and become who I wish to be.

  • Sonakshi

    I love this article. It’s REALLY important that everyone knows what’s in their heart and follow it. Because the righ thing to do doesn’t always bring us peace and happiness. Life is about living fully and only by following our hearts, without fear, can we do that.

  • Faye Williams

    Take the risk, sell the fancy car, downgrade the lifestyle for awhile, move somewhere cheaper if you can! Sounds like you should be living off the land somewhere with your interests.
    I was in ur place, stayed in an aweful job 3 years because I was too scared to quit. I bit the bull on the ball and quit my job at the same time my husband quit his job too. Best decision ever. We had a month unemployed, before we found better work environments.
    Don’t let the fear of striking out keep you from playing.

  • Sufian Rahim

    I am 22 years old
    I am student i do job in pharamceautical but i dont feel scure i do some thing special i want grow up in my life i want to helps all thoese people have need my helps
    I do help all the poor peoples
    I want to make my name who.
    I also looking different from others my mind is asking me about my self you all questions are grow in my mind i am feeling shocking
    But i don’t grow in my life i don’t find rightway for following
    I read every time tips i find my mission of my life for what i born i want leadership…
    Job is for supporting my family i belong to poor family i have both of responsibilities but 100% sure i am not satisfying my life my mind is asking me both of questions and tourcher me

  • Harsha D Limbu

    Hey there. I am 23 old boy from India ….. This is my first time ever doing something like this….. Yesterday while coming form work i break down in tears. About thinking what the hell am i doing with my life i have so much of hope that I will do so much thing but i ended up crying to myself…. It makes me very much depress & fill me suicidal thoughts….. Of any1 can help me please….. Reaching out for u

  • Randall Natividad Estacio

    thanks for the question now i can use these to pick up girls 🙂

  • John Cena

    I want to die…

  • Bhargavi C N

    I’m 29, happily married & a mother of wonderful 1 year old son. I’m an engineer with decent pay, more than I can spend on my own. I’m a kind of simple person. I spend some of my earnings on charity. Life seem beautiful n nothing to fret. Yet an emptiness! The void, the silence. I dunno how to fill in. I don’t want to quit. But I don’t know what to try doing. I keep thinking in the nights. Not sure of exactly what. Unable to comprehend. I wish it be easier to answer these questions, but…

  • mist42nz

    wow you have a job and income you lucky bastard. i’m coming up 49, poor health and having to try and retrain at university, on zero buget (welfare). gf left when money from old business ran out, and i’m still paying for the kids what i can.

  • Kalani Ranasinghe

    Hey.I am 21 yrs old and i really dont have any idea about my future coz i dont have any talents and my grades are not good also..I like to learn languages becoz i want do something that makes me happy like to be a tourguide, but i dont know that it will gonna work..
    When i read this post and comments i actually want to do what makes me happy.i want to learn languages..thanks for this post ☺

  • Christopher Moore

    I know this post is old, but I feel the same way! I’m 41 and hate my job. Moving up the ladder and making more money was great… I thought. Now I feel like I’m stuck in a life I hate. I read so many things saying if you hate your job, quit. I’m married and have a 10 year old daughter. My wife works part time so I make most of the money. Own a house, page for 2 new vehicles and a trailer. Part of me wants to just get rid of everything, destroy my credit and start over, but I can’t do this to my daughter.
    I hope you get this and can tell me if you took the plunge and went toward you love and passion.

  • Kofi Darden

    Here I am approaching my 47th birthday next month, anticipating a divorce also next month, from a man I’ve been with since I was 22 years old.
    For the most part, I’ve devoted my fruitful years to caring and securing futures for everyone but myself. Though I am not completely regretful, I am now realizing that I should have considered ME more. I’ve buried parents, my grandparents, and a 22 year old son. Horrible circumstances, to say the least. The last person I want to lose is mySelf…I AM ALL I HAVE.
    Reading these questions, and pondering answers gives me hope. Lately I’ve been feeling as though it’s too late to be starting over…but then I remind myself of the old cliche’, “It’s NEVER too late!”. As a result, I get up every morning inspired to inspire because I/We are never alone in our struggles. EVERYBODY is dealing with something.
    So I encourage those that will read this post to remember that whatever you’re experiencing someone else is battling an obstacle far greater.
    Illuminate yourSelf by basking in the Beautiful Light of Life and then set out to be a Beacon of Light for others!

  • Karl

    Those questions didn’t change my life at all!

  • Melissa Flores

    I don’t know the answer to any of these questions. I haven’t been able to answer honestly for so long .I don’t know if I would recognize the truth. I just want to be good at something and know my existence matters

  • Ginny Abbott

    I am 27. I live with my partner who is 55. I am a singer and songwriter. I have an amazing gift for singing and long for adventure in the big world. My concern is leaving my partner behind. Although he says he supports me, I know my journey in life COULD take me to other places and although I am loyal, I cannot free myself of the thought that perhaps my path alongside him has come to an end. He has no family, only a small group of friends and I have been his whole life for the last 6 years. I am afraid of leaving him, which potentially means, I pass up amazing opportunities that may come my way. HELP WORLD. If I decide to leave, I feel his life will be a terrible depressed state, and the guilt I would carry would be so hard to bare.

  • Jade Sprawling

    I’m 23 and I also was upset reading this I know my life isn’t perfect but some people are worse than me

  • Charlabee

    Hello, why not teach English abroad? You will get a chance to travel, and earn a good living 🙂 Check out South Korea (many wonderful cosmetics too), China, Japan, South America etc 🙂

  • Gravity

    i’m in a part of my life where i feel lost from the inside i’m doing bachelors in computer science and technology since from 1st semester i am fighting with my grades … i got 1.3 in my first semester almost 6 subjects and i got 4 D+ and 2 B i got b in English and History because i was good in that language … since then i worked hard i study for grades for a reason that i would somehow get success in my life but im still failing i study more then my friends circle they study less and get good grades.. i usually frustuated during exams because that environment of exam hall is like killing me i get nervous and sometimes lost my head and start blundering and making silly mistakes.. i do my assignments well and secure full marks in them . i sometimes read articles,stories in order to learn good deeds or to make my personality better but day by day i’m going down to the edge my friends think that i’m a looser some of then don’t think like iam a looser or i can’t do anything .. i had a girlfriend she dumb me for another boy now im in my final year but i don’t think that i could graduated with my friends .. im a good actor i just win the best actor award from university people know me well … i sing songs people like that too they say my voice make them feel good but i stop singing my voice is not like before now.. i want to be a billionaire because i have seen people to act good in front of the rich peoples what ever rich people do they still follow them and i think its bad, friendship is not based on money 🙁 i want to be an actor singer and a best story writer i want to help poors i still do but i want to teach people a lesson that iam not a looser but iam loosing my dreams day by day .. i m not going for my workout since 3 months iam really in a bad stress since 4 months my mother is sick im so afraid to lose her she is paying for my university bills and i feel like i m wasting her money.. i am lost what would i do i don’t know i still say to my self that i can do this i won’t let anyone down i will work hard … but deep inside im dying i never felt this much broke or stress before .. im of 23

  • Abboud

    hello people i’m 23 from Lebanon, i wake up everyday and i feel miserable about my life doing nothing i feel like the water and air i use is wasted on me my whole life feels like garbage and i can’t stop thinking about how much of a failure i’am.

    when i was a child i was always the geeky boy who studies well and be the tops in class although i didn’t like being hated and bullied, being the innocent guy who always says yes to everything but i kept being that person because and my family would expect me to be something big. i barely finished college as a graphic designer which many times i would leave the class for weeks because i hated my proffession and my parents keep pushing me to comeback.. i love farming raising crops eat my own produce work with livestock all the things a farm might have but here society is ignorant and so are my parents and friends they think being a farmer is a low life with no dignity or wage they dont understand that growing your own food keeps your money in the pocket instead of buying that food they just insult everything that isn’t a doctor or engineer or some social guy who just wears good and tell lies which is crap..

    whenever i want to be a farmer and work in that position the whole society stands in my way as if the farmer is a disgusting thing and my problem is that i fear of people judging me i don’t stand for something i believe in in front of people, i’m a coward. i even minimized this page so my brother sitting in the room can’t see what i’m typing.

    so now i don’t want to do anything in life i sometimes stay in the house 24h/7 days a week i feel my wings are broken my parents want me to work in my proffession which i hate soo bad

  • Cameron Lathwood

    I am a 17 year old lad that I feel has been pushed into a job where I earn money but it’s not a lot it’s a job I hate and I feel as if I have set my self up for a bad life. I enjoy tech and gaming and I aspire to do something in my life that not only helps me but helps others around me these questions have inspired me to not worry about society and what people think about me but be my self and do what I love

  • Pete Sahut

    Im a cunt, I have the possibilities to become great, but I’m scared, I’m stuck, I can’t go anywhere, very depressed, above all miserable. I manage to survive until now. My daughter help me with that, she is my rainbow. I am clueless of how to make friends, or get a woman I really enjoy been with, with out paying for it. I don’t live when I’m by myself, I just eat and do nothing, staring at the television for hours watching nothing waiting for some tragedy thats saves me the futility of inventing my self more excuses to keep me alive. I have an ex-wife that hates me, a family that dosen’t exists, or they don’t want to remember I exist, few friends, others that I lost on the way others they r too far, no girl friends, no conexion with any human been except my daughter, a job that I hate with passion. A life that had hit me like a bus and I feel I cant get up, I don’t know how, even I do I’m tired of trying and failing. Im no victim I’m as responsible for all this as I’m responsible for my own depression. I just cant help it. I want to quit my stupid monkey job and do what I want to do. the desire and ambitions have gone away from me, I cant even think in sex really, and even when I’m having it I don’t enjoy it. I just want to have alternatives or way to stay alive for her, for my daughter. I bought a sofa to pay in quotes so I can force myself to keep my job and leave towards something. I love my daughter I nee d to stay alive for her, and I need to enjoy it for her but as well for me even if is a bit. and I’m talking here cuz I’m desperate. I have always been very selective who I talk too or why but now I just need it to believe someone will help me, I’m getting more and more desperate I’m freaking out, standing straight into the abysm and I don’t know what is in there. can some one tell me how to enjoy life? can someone help me Im on the very edge of my isolation or what can I tolerate to be dehumanised

  • Grandmaster Mason

    No Daddy ,Your a Poof, or you have been abused, get a grip

  • Bebis

    Registered Nurse

  • anonymousbro

    its okay dude, life gets better, things get easier – life is worth living. hope youre okay man, all th love bro. tell us how you are. <3

  • 123r

    Please help me !! I am only 14 yrs old. But i don’t how to choose the choices in my life. My mum is taking divorce, and i can’t live without her. I have a big brother and a father. I dont want to live with my father. He is not good. My brother is studying in a university and lives very far away from us. I dont know what to do?? The easiest way is sucide. I want to be a popstar i want to explore every corner of the world. But my father wont allow me to be a star because of my religion. He wants me to be a professor. That is my second choice. My mom says me to study had and be professor. heart is not yet ready. Amd i have to choose who to live with? With my mum or with my father. I dont know with who i wanna live. If i live with my fayher i can study hard and be professor. But with my mother i cant be. They left me with no choice. Should i get out of my life?

  • Wow! I totally relate to the frustration everyone on this thread is feeling! I’ve been there too! Now I’m on the other side of it and I want others to know that they really can find their true passion in life! So, I’m thinking about hosting a free webinar on how to find your true calling, purpose and passion, do you have any questions about that? I promise it won’t consist of all this “just figure out what you love” or “focus on the present moment” stuff. None of that helped me at all! What would you like for me to cover in the webinar?

  • Priya

    I don’t know what to do in my life. Somebodies says do a private job, while other are saying start your own business. I am not able to understand , what I want. As I have 2 year gap in my graduation and still jobless. Not able to find my dream, what i like the most. I feel like my life is finished. What to do?

  • Yashi Gaur

    Hie.. I am 24 year old and graduated in Engineering degree, i am Unemployed. Working hard to get government job since last 3 years. I am really pissed off now i can’t concentrate on it. I wanted to become singer which is totally different field and moreover my parents won’t allow me to do that at this point of time. My mind is restless i keep on listening songs and watching videos of the group band. Then suddenly my heart feels pain coz i can’t do.. And this feeling keeps on Digging me whether i will make a good career or not. I was really a career oriented girl but right now i stopped studying and keep on Learning songs and dancing,it feels good for sometime while i was doing but after i realized it will not become reality and again i got disturbed. I really don’t know what to do. How to concentrate on studies or i should give a chance in Singing? Sorry for my English..
    Please give me some suggestions i really need.. Thank you very much