“If you count all your assets, you always show a profit.” ~Robert Quillen
This weekend someone broke into my apartment and stole everything of significant monetary value that I owned.
They stole my jewelry box, with pieces I got from my boyfriend, his mother, and my sister, after she’d gone through a break-up and wanted to unload a vast collection from her past. They stole several purses in my closet, and confusing it for another, also took my makeup bag.
They took my laptop bag containing my new MacBook, my wallet, my passport, my glasses, and my boyfriend’s old iPhone, which I’ve been using to play games. They grabbed a stack of DVDs, though I can’t remember which.
Lastly, they took my hamper, after emptying it on my bedroom floor, to carry all their loot. Oddly but thankfully, they took nothing of my boyfriend’s.
That night, I’d been at a neighbor’s house with a few friends, peeling lemons to make limoncello. I was supposed to be in New Orleans with my boyfriend and others for Jazz Fest, but I’d backed out after my doctor told me it wasn’t wise, so soon after my surgery.
When I walked into my bedroom after arriving home and saw the clothes on my floor, I wondered why I would have done that. I hadn’t yet noticed the other missing items, and I just assumed if something was awry, I’d done it and forgotten.
Then I started looking around and realized someone had been in my home. My heart started racing, my face went flush, and the tiny hairs on the back of my neck stood up. I wondered if someone was still there, hiding, waiting, or watching.
So I ran downstairs and called my neighbor, who came right over with the others. Thankfully, they did everything for me. They called the police. They called my apartment community’s security. And they even wrote a checklist of things I needed to do, including canceling cards and setting up credit monitoring alerts.
Later that night I realized the burglars hadn’t taken my old laptop, which still had most of my documents and photos saved. The next day I found my passport, after remembering I’d finally realized it wasn’t smart to carry it with me daily.
Suddenly, I felt an immense sense of gratitude because despite what I’d lost, it could have been far worse.
I could have lost everything related to my work. I could have been left with no ID. I could have never bought renter’s insurance. And the worst possible outcome: I could have been home when this happened.
I could have been the victim of a far more tragic crime.
But I wasn’t. I was alive and well, with friends looking out for me. And I had the capacity to do everything on their list—to follow each step one by one and put things back together.
Sometimes when things go wrong it can seem overwhelming to make things right. But the amazing thing is that we usually can. We can put together the pieces. We can do it even more effectively if we stay calm, start with one simple step and remember that eventually, it will all get done.
I didn’t sleep much on Friday night, and I didn’t feel well on Saturday, when I went to my bank and Lens Crafters for new glasses. But today as I write this on Sunday, I am well rested and I’m here—still alive, still loved, still doing what I love.
Any time we can say that, it’s a beautiful day.
About Lori Deschene
Lori Deschene is the founder of Tiny Buddha. She started the site after struggling with depression, bulimia, c-PTSD, and toxic shame so she could recycle her former pain into something useful and inspire others to do the same. You can find her books, including Tiny Buddha’s Gratitude Journal and Tiny Buddha’s Worry Journal, here and learn more about her eCourse, Recreate Your Life Story, if you’re ready to transform your life and become the person you want to be.
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Though I run this site, it is not mine. It's ours. It's not about me. It's about us. Your stories and your wisdom are just as meaningful as mine.
Ouch. I’m glad it wasn’t worse. The same thing happened to me a few years ago. It was a great source of lessons in letting go and forgiving 🙂
Indeed! I’ve been trying to think the same–that it’s a lesson in letting go.
I am so sorry to hear about this but glad you are staying strong through it with a positive outlook! Thanks for another inspiring post!
You’re most welcome, and thank you!
Oh my goodness, wht a time you’ve had! I had a similar situation where I was robbed while undergoing emergency surgery. It’s wonderful to see that you have such a great attitude. Hang in there!
Thanks Jade. I’m so sorry you had to go through that!
Sorry to hear about what happened. You are very brave and the trouble doesn’t overwhelm you. I hope you will find your lost things
Thanks so much Jinyan. I think I will get some money from my renter’s insurance, so that’s reassuring for me!
I worked on the north slope in alaska and had to have custom winter gear made, very expensive. When I returned to Anchorage it was stolen from my car. The feeling of violation not a good feeling. On a good note it was all returned by a good person who reminded me we are all leaving here with what we came here with I’m glad you are ok you are loved.
Thanks so much! That’s wonderful a good person returned it to you. Even when someone tests my faith in people, it helps me to remember many others care.
Holy hell.
I had a dear friend who was robbed blind several years ago, and she’s never really recovered. I’m sure that’s exactly what you want to hear, right? You, however, seem to have put things in a proper perspective, something she was unable to do.
Peace to you as you sort through what remains . . .
Thanks so much Brian. I’m generally not too attached to stuff unless it has sentimental value. But I know I would be far more upset if I didn’t have insurance, particularly because the MacBook was expensive, and I’m not rolling in cash!
Hi Lori,
So sorry to hear what happened in your apartment. Your attitude and perspective have pulled you through. May you be blessed with good health and love.
Lakshmi
wow Lori, so such a disrupting event and it leaves you feeling so vulnerable that someone came in and took your things and was in your apartment. I had my bike stolen off of my front porch once. We had a big, high fence so it meant that someone had to have watched me bring it in and waited for me to leave. You have a wonderful perspective that yes, it could have been far worse (for me too) and they are just “things”. It is the sentiment you attach to them, the memories and all the hard work on your computer. But, so glad they didn’t take your old computer and that you are ok and have good friends to help you through it.
Yes, it was definitely a vulnerable feeling. I had that same thought that you had–that someone must have been casing my place. I had this feeling someone was watching me earlier in the day at the activity center, so a part of me wonders if it was that person. But still, at the end of the day, it’s just stuff–and I’m just so glad I have all my files. I did lose some work I did last week, but I already re-did most of it!
Lori,
Thank you for sharing this and for affirming the importance of seeing everything from the highest perspective. This is so important. It effectively transforms the situation and means that you do not take on the role of the victim and keep re-playing the drama in your head.
I can relate to this. One summer several years ago, my husband and I took several weeks off to go traveling in Europe and we arrived back to find that our cottage had been broken in to. We discovered that after breaking in, the thief kept coming back and taking off with everything from the TV and stereo system to the flatware in the kitchen. He even took the bed linen and used the pillow slips to bag his items. It took us weeks to itemize what had been taken, I would look for something and then realize, “Oh it must have been stolen.”
For me, the upside of this was realizing how unimportant material objects are and how quickly everything can be taken away. From that moment on, I became much less attached to things and instead began to value the treasures I had ‘inside,’ which can never be taken away.
Oh and we also installed better security!!
Hugs,
Juliex
Wow–that’s crazy they kept coming back! I had my locks changed, but somewhere inside I’ve been thinking, “I highly doubt they’d come back.”
I’ve never really been attached to stuff, except for the things that have sentimental value, and luckily, they only took a few of those. Also, I know I have almost everything from my laptop backed up–and that I’ll get at least some money from my insurance–so that helps a great deal too!
I’m really sorry that that happened to you,but you quickly came to the right mindset. You are still a complete and whole person, you have your friends and your health. And who knows, maybe that burglar was trying to pay for the lack of health of someone in his/her family (?). It’s never okay to steal, but maybe you unwillingly helped someone out, too.
Maybe. I suspect it’s actually some teenagers, because there have been a lot of break-ins within my community, and many people have reported seeing some kids trying to get into cars and apartments. In fact, someone stole my boyfriend’s laptop from our car last month. Perhaps in this case, though, it was someone who was genuinely in need. You never know!
Absolutely Beautiful! And in this your purpose was met. Truly inspired and feeled with Gratitude. Thank You.
You’re most welcome, and thank you!
Sorry to read about your misfortune Lori, but glad to hear your ever-strong support network is there for you.
Thanks so much Kris!
I’m sorry you were violated in this way. I’m glad you are safe, because that is the most important thing, for sure. As you recognize, in the big picture, things can always be replaced.
That definitely puts my mind at ease, to know there was no major long-term damage. It’s really just an annoyance, but luckily, I don’t have to deal with it alone!
Oh Lori, I’m just so glad you are okay! These things happen in life but keep your chin up. Sending many positive thoughts and blessings your way. I am glad you have a positive outlook on this event. Remember, your readers on Tiny Buddha will support you in any way we can. God bless and wishing you many joys.
Thanks so much Artemis. I appreciate the support!
Same sentiment here, dear Lori. Glad YOU are OK and what a grounded amazing attitude you have. You inspire me!
Thank you Farnoosh!
I’m so glad you’re okay! As soon as I read the first sentence of this post, I was like, “Oh no!!!”
I think you handled this situation extremely well. It can definitely be hard to stay calm and think rationally when something traumatic happens. I’m sorry about everything you lost, but the most important thing is that you are okay. <3 Take care of yourself.
Thanks Madison. I think it would have been much more difficult if I didn’t have so much help and support. That really helped!
God bless you with greater strength and peace. Rest well, heal well. 🙂
Thank you Uzma. =)
Lori, I’ve been through this and my heart goes out to you. We should ALL realize that things can almost always be worse and feel gratitude for what we have each day. Sending positive karma your way.
Thank you James!
My goodness Lori! I am so sorry to hear about your awful experience, and at the same time very happy that you are okay, and that nobody was hurt. It must have been a frightening experience, and very hard to shake and/or recover from. Continue to heal well! Take care!
Thank you Victor! It was indeed frightening. The first two nights, I felt a little nervous about someone breaking in again, but I’ve let my guard down now, so that’s good. I wouldn’t want to walk around in fear!
When something similar happened to me the “violation” of someone entering “my space” was far, far worse than the loss of any material thing.
Glad to hear you’re feeling better.
Yes, that was my thought as well. But luckily, I am feeling much better about everything after getting some perspective.
Though I’m sorry to hear about this happening, I am very glad to hear you’re all right. And even more glad to see that your perspective is such that you didn’t let your whole day, week, month or year get ruined by this one event. Such resilience and positive thinking, thank you for being the example!
Thanks Michelle! I am indeed alright, and I’m putting this behind me.
Glad you are OK, Lori. Sending good thoughts your way.
Mercy! I’m saddened that this happened to you. I’m amazed and inspired by your response. Thank you for sharing this with us – it’s a big learning for me this morning, and I appreciate you. May all beings benefit from your wisdom and compassion.
Im so sorry that this happened to you. It can be very unsettling. Bravo for recognizing the blessings
I am also so sorry that you had to go through this. While the burglars took many things, they only took things. You still have what counts.
Thank you so much. I know you’re right about that!
Excellent attitude Lori, but sorry to hear your home (and sanctuary) was broken into.
Thanks so much Genevieve.
Here’s an idea, Lori, contact the marketing dept of you renters’ insurance and see if they’re interested in exchanging your deductible for the rights to reprint this blog!! It’s a great testimonial to the importance of renter’s insurance AND being grateful for all you have. Best of luck and thanks for your blog.
That’s a great idea! Thank you for this suggestion. =)
Also sorry to hear about this but glad that you seem to be recovering your momentum so quickly. Hope you are healing well. As always, thanks for sharing.
Thanks Tana. I’ve been taking it easy today. It was a hectic weekend, so I really needed some time to just relax.
Hi Lori,
I am so moved by your strength and perspective on this terrifying experience. You are an inspiration! My thoughts and prayers are with you as you recover from surgery and this experience.
Thanks so much Cynthia. I figure I can’t control what happens, but I can control my perspective!
Hi Lori,
I read your blog every day and it is a constant source of encouragement to me. Needless to say, I was shocked to read this post! I am so sorry that this has happened to you, but you’re right – it could have been far worse. Still, I don’t think I would react with the same grace and strength, and I admire that about you. Best wishes to you and thanks for being so positive 🙂
Thanks Meghan. I appreciate your kind words! It was definitely unfortunate, but now that almost everything is taken care of, I’m feeling a lot better about everything.
I hate to say this but this really sounds like someone who actually knows you a friend or acquaintance or coworker who knew you were suppose to been out of town or least one of you were gonna be. Also it might been someone who had more a connection with your boyfriend as a friend or acquaintance of yours if his stuff was easily recognizable for a reason why none it was taken. If someone you know drops off the radar suddenly or acts odd or avoident with you suddenly it’s a good chance it is them. People don’t realize how often burglarys are actually done by someone the victim knows.
That did occur to me. It felt like someone might have been casing my place, since it happened while my boyfriend was away. However, there’s been a lot of crime in my apartment community lately. In fact, someone stole my boyfriend’s laptop from our car last month. And last night, someone broke into my neighbor’s son’s car (the neighbor who place I visited on Friday). I just hope these people get caught!
thank you for sharing this story… so glad you’re okay 🙂
Thank you Carrie. =)
very good way of thinking..=) keep the positive, it truly makes you a stronger person..=)
Thanks Areli!
WOW Lori!!! Glad you are OK and they left some of the important stuff! I had a similar situation where I had to move suddenly. I lived in a bad neighborhood at the time – a place where you had to watch out for the people you KNEW, rather than the ones you didn’t. I packed the important stuff in one day – my dog, phone, computer, jewelry, etc, – and some of them helped me, knowing I would return a couple of days later for the rest. Of course, when I got there three days later, most of my other stuff was GONE (doors and windows suspiciously STILLED locked from the inside.) And, others on the block stepped forward to tell me “who had been coming in and out of my house” for the last week while I was gone. Anyway, I said out loud to anyone within hearing range,” that whomever had stolen the rest of my things must have needed them more than I”. As I drove off, I realized that I meant it – and that I still had everything that was important to me! Anyway, I am glad worse didn’t happen from a scary and disturbing situation. I know that you will gain it back threefold in the future, as you are such a grateful soul!!!!! xoxoxo!!!
I’m glad you’re not in that dangerous neighborhood anymore! It must have been terrifying to know that even people you knew could violate your space in that way.
I am indeed okay. I’m just glad I still have all my work. I lost some work I did last week, but I redid most of it yesterday. My writing means far more to me than any material possession!
I love your outlook on everything, Lori. The Buddha said, “We only lose what we cling to.” If we can value our health, loved ones, and life in general, we can take comfort when the material things are gone.
Yes, I love that quote. It brings me a lot of peace right now!
What a bummer! Glad you are okay, but still so wrong for someone to do that. I would have gone through ALL my emotions before coming to acceptance. Glad you arrived there so quickly! You have to believe they will receive the right karma coming to them.
They know what they took does not belong to them, you should check on craigsList or Ebay to see if any of your items show up. (I’ve read the police do that sometimes). I’ve also seen a TV news clip where some one had their Apple laptop stolen, but they had a camera on it, and it relayed the photograph of the person stealing it to the gals phone. She recognized him from a party at a friends house. She did not know him, but the police got her goods returned.
Good Luck Lori, we are all here for you.
I think I was just too tired to go through the full range of emotions! I hadn’t slept well the two nights before the break-in, and I didn’t sleep at all that night. Plus, I really felt so grateful for my neighbors. I was just touched beyond words that people went out of their way for me.
Thanks for the suggestion to check eBay and Craigslist. I’ll give that a try!
Oh, SO sorry. I read your postings, every day. They have become an essential part of my, “ritual” to begin my day with. They are a very important part of my day’s beginning and I genuinely, feel off center if I don’t take the time to read them every day. You sharing your thoughts and feelings, bits of your soul and your experiences, strengths and hopes–has assisted me in my journeying through, and a good deal of camping out, done, IN the tunnel.
Which up until today’s reading, I’ve been referring to as, “the abyss that has become my life.” 🙂 All that you shared today, has touched me deeply. You have reminded me-it can be much worse and so I need to find my gratitude. You have given me hope and I am feeling a bit more at peace, with where I am right now. (I was thinking of the tunnel as a wretched place, I’d been condemned to, for having made so many grievous mistakes for myself, as well as, in the way I treated and percieved and talked about–my former partner.) Yet it’s been here, in this dark place, that I’ve admitted to myself, how very disloyal I can be, how very vindictive, spiteful and indeed, how much damage my anger and discontent with myself, can wound others. I’ve always demanded Fidelity and yet, I have so very little of it in my own heart. Wow. I’ve certainly been examining my soul, here in the dark and yet I’ve been thinking of it, as punishment for “more recent crimes”…and yet, it’s allowed me to see CLEARLY, that my recent past has very little to do with anything in my soul, save that it’s allowed me to find my souls darkest parts, that have been plaguing me and anyone around me, ALL MY LIFE. Oh, my, there’s a long trail of broken bits and bloody patches behind me. Wow. I believe I may be able to begin to change in earnest now. Thank You, so very, very much….for being. And for sharing all your experiences, strengths and hopes with us all. You make a great difference in my life, everyday. I am SO sorry someone chose to violate your space and injure your sense of safety. I pray you take the latter part back, very, very soon. Thank You, it is with your help, that I’ve been reclaiming my own peace of mind and heart. Namaste, Dearest Tiny Buddha, Namaste.
I’m so glad you’ve found the site helpful! I’m not sure if you noticed, but I usually publish a post from a different writer every day. So I didn’t actually write the tunnel post; that one was from a woman named Nikki Di Virgilio.
It sounds like you’ve been going through a time of great growth and learning. I’m sending you all my love as you continue on that path. Thank you for the well wishes you sent me. I really appreciate your support!
I was the victim of a similar crime, and totally understand the feeling of violation. You’re right however, you were lucky as it could have been worse. Sending peace to your heart and mind, and I’m glad you’re ok. Things are just things; the meaning of those things remains safe in your heart.
Thank you so much for sending peace my way. =)
I am sad this happened. When I went through a transition time in my life it occured to me to imagine that all had been lost in a fire, it helped.
Praying for your continued recovery and peace.
That’s an interesting approach. It does help to imagine that a person didn’t consciously choose to enter my home and take my things. It surprises me that someone can do that without remorse. But I’ve been trying not to think about it!
This is a better approach. There is less bitterness and negative emotions. For example when there is a large scale destruction due to an earthquake or flooding, the next things to be done are all forward looking and constructive, whereas a terrorist bomb attack has a completely different approach.
Yikes! So glad you are OK!
Thank you Pamela!
Lori, I’m so sorry to read this! Likewise our home was broken into while we took three of our children out for dinner as a treat. It took years for my kids to get over the trauma. They wouldn’t set foot in the house until the lights had been turned on. I wish I had the wisdom that I have now, and I would have handled the situation entirely differently. You have an amazing attitude and I love reading your encouraging blog. May you continue to have gratitude and peace as gifts that help you continually to go on day to day…Namaste.
Thank you so much. I’m glad your whole family was out when that happened! I can only imagine how scary it must have been for your children to digest all that. (It’s hard enough as an adult…)
Lori,
I send you comfort, understanding and support. Thank you for sharing honestly. Thank you for modeling acceptance beautifully. May this event birth a fountain of blessings.
Thank you Kyah. =)
Wow!!! You’re so inspiring! It’s amazing what you go through while still maintaining a good attitude. Thank you for modelling this way of being!!
You’re most welcome. Thank you for being here!
I am glad that you weren’t home when this happened! Things can be replaced, memories will always stay in our hearts, but genuine people like you can not be replaced!
Thank you Nancy. =)
Like you Lori we were robbed then end of March while in Italy at the end of our holiday. Thieves broke into our car and stole 2 suitcases,coats, glasses alternate charge cards, all our souvenirs and most of my travel wardrobe. Like you we realized it is only stuff and we were glad we had insurance, were not there when it happened and still had our passports. Dealing with the Italian policeman was actually comical like in a bad movie and we were able to laugh after filing our report.
Others face far worse horrors in their lives so this is small but inconvenient circumstances.
That’s a good point Wendy. Sadly, tragedies happen every day, and in the grand scheme of things theft isn’t life-shattering. (Though I have to admit, having insurance helps a lot!)
Glad to hear that you are okay – we’ve never met but of all the emails I get yours are always the most often read.
Thanks Greg. I’m so glad you enjoy the emails!
Glad to hear you are okay. All my loving to you.
Thank you Joice. All my loving back to you. =)
Wow, Lori, I am so sorry to hear you are going through this. That is just so wrong. I’m certainly glad nobody was hurt and that they didn’t take everything, but that is still so devastating. You certainly have had to deal with a lot lately. Your attitude is admirable and I hope there are more positive things in store for you in the near future.
I also wanted to say how much I appreciate all of the personal things you share here. I (and so many people) can relate to what you are dealing with/going through and it’s nice to feel like we’re not alone when we face similar challenges. Thank you for your openness and honesty!
Best wishes to you.
Thanks so much Alannah. I think this would have been much more devastating if I didn’t have so many people looking out for me. I think especially since I spent so many years feeling alone, knowing that I am connected and cared for really helps put things in perspective.
I am really sorry for what I read, but also very grateful for your honestly and they way you look at the case. I hope that you get all what you lost. You’re SIMPLY STRONG
Thank you so much. =)
It’s a scary thing and the feeling of personal violation is creepy when that happens and you realize someone has been in your house and through your things. I’m sorry that happened to you.
On a lighter note, perhaps it’s the universe’s way of cleaning out your closet (smile)
Yes, it’s definitely a feeling of violation! But you’re right–my closet is indeed a lot cleaner. It was probably time to clear out some of the old…
Lori, good job remembering to be grateful but it is okay to be pissed off too. Get really pissed off and feel violated. That’s only human and then forgive and be grateful that you weren’t at home. I’m so glad you are safe. M.xx
Thanks so much. =) I was pissed off that night, but on Saturday I decided that they’d already taken my stuff–they weren’t taking any of my time!
I really do feel incredibly grateful that I didn’t have to go through this alone. There was a time in my life when I was completely isolated and depressed. Although this was a disheartening experience, it confirmed to me that this is indeed a different time in my life, and I am never alone. For that reason, I couldn’t possibly feel more blessed.
WOW!! I’m so glad you WEREN’T home, and are OK!!!
Thank you Bobbie!