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February 24, 2026 at 9:40 am #455439
anitaParticipantDear Robi:
How did the interview go? I understand your heart not being in it because you’re not at all sure about your girlfriend.
I hope to hear back from you soon!
⏲️ Anita
February 24, 2026 at 9:35 am #455438anitaParticipantGood 🌄 Confused:
Sounds to me that you’re idealizing her (“her heart is pure”) and you’re idealizing the relationship in the past (seeing it now better than it really was).
And part of you wants to stay there, in that idealized version of reality rather than experience real life here and now.
What do you think, any truth to my perception this 🌄?
👀 Anita
February 24, 2026 at 8:38 am #455436anitaParticipantDear Thomas (Morning, not tipsy 🙂)
It sounds like your mind has been very loud lately and you’re doing your best to find quiet, even when it’s difficult.
It’s okay that the songs come and go. It’s okay that life feels heavy sometimes. You’re carrying a lot — your family, your responsibilities, your thoughts — and anyone would feel worn down at times.
But there’s still a calm place inside you, the part you call the watcher. That part is not gone. It’s still there, even on the noisy days.
The Watcher 👁️: the part of you that notices what your mind is doing — the songs, the thoughts, the worries — without getting pulled into them. The watcher doesn’t fight the mind. It just sees it, like someone sitting quietly on a porch, watching clouds ☁️ ☁️ ☁️ pass by. The thoughts come.. the thoughts go.. and the watcher stays the same. Quiet. Unmoving.
That part of you hasn’t gone anywhere, even on the noisy days. It’s still there, underneath everything. You’re doing your best, Thomas. And it’s enough.
☁️🍃🤍Anita
February 23, 2026 at 8:24 pm #455429anitaParticipantDear Thomas:
The Sounds of Silence 🔕 playing ▶️ loud in your mind?
Songs 🎵 get stuck?
I know the experience, the feeling: into the night 🌙, Right now, I am hearing the Doobie Brothers’s “Without Love Where would you be Now?”
Without Love.. where would you be right now?
You’re not alone, Thomas, getting stuck in music, there’s so much to us.
I become the music 🎶 I never dared to sing, the movement I never dared to dance 🕺 🎶
“You know how I feel .. and I’m feeling good” (don’t know who’s singing).
Parts of me is being heard by someone else’s singing.
“You need me, call me, I’ll be there in a hurry” (Diana Ross)
It really doesn’t matter, it’s the Singer within, the Dancer within, that comes alive.
Last I danced 🕺 was late last year, I did to live music, after a couple of glasses of 🍷 – it was beautiful.
When’s the last time you danced. Thomas?
I am not dancing now, but I’m drinking 🍷 and listening 🎶 to old music.
An old woman listening to old music and feeling Young and Alive. Isn’t it the point. Thomas?
To experience Youth at No Matter What Age?
Please 🙏 feel free to ignore all of this post. Thomas. I’m tipsy 🤪 and young.
“And if you want it, you got it… Maybe tonight… Let the music… ” (Marvin Gay.. Who was shot by his father).
What is it, this Youth refusing to succumb to Old age, Thomas?
“I’m so in love with you, whatever you want to do is Allright with me” ( reverend Green) “the good and bad, the happy and sad… you… baby… together… Let’s stay together…”
“I don’t care what they say… about anything they say, but being with you… I don’t care about anything else but being with you… one thing I know for sure”-
What would that be, Thomas, what do we know for sure?
For me, the answer is.. know for sure, I AM YOUNG, right now, tonight. I AM Y.O.U.N.G.
“I heard it through the grapevine and I’m about to lose my mind… Honey 🍯..”
“Stop, in the name of love before you break my heart… STOP in the name of love”
The name of love has no age. 16 can be depressed. 61 can COME ALIVE.. Just like that.
Strange, how at 60+ I am younger than 16.
🤪🎶🎵✨️ Anita
February 23, 2026 at 7:03 pm #455426anitaParticipantHey 👋 Dear Confused:
I’ll be interested to hear (read) what the psychiatrist would say in regard to ROCD and Zoloft.
And you’re right: better to not self diagnose- that’s the job of a responsible professional.
Numb to the present, crying for the past- it’s a trap, a prison of sorts? Imprisoned in the past?
And breaking free from that prison would mean.. ?
👀 Anita
February 23, 2026 at 6:56 pm #455424anitaParticipantDear Caroline, unforgettable Caroline:
July 1, 2024 is when you posted last. 1 year, 7 months and 22 days ago. I wish 🤞 to read from you again.
🌙 Anita
February 23, 2026 at 6:36 pm #455420anitaParticipantDear Stacy:
Jan 19, 2025 is the last time ⏲️ you posted, 1 year, 1 month and 4 days ago.
It’d be so special reading from you again 😊
🤍 Anita
February 23, 2026 at 5:23 pm #455419anitaParticipantDear Robi:
Interesting, you started this thread on Feb 18, 2024 and we talked on Feb 23, exactly 2 years ago. On this day (2 years ago), you got a job interview in Spain for March of that year.
Not very long ago, really.
As to what you shared today (Mon night, your time), I can understand your frustration in regard to your girlfriend. You wrote something to the effect that you’re exhausted and may not make sense, but truly, to me, you make perfect sense. The way you present the conflicts with her sounds fair to her, objective, seeing 👀 both sides’ validity.
As I 👀 it (I’m using my 📱, and when I do, all these emojis show up and I can’t help but click on them, and sometimes I ask for them), the fact that (it seems to me), she’s enmeshed, or emotionally fused with her mother, is a big problem because it means that.. if you choose the daughter, you also choose the mother 😱 ?
Is she at all troubled by her emotional dependence/ enmeshment with her mother?
Of course, ongoing arguments 🙄 are not considered the basis of a healthy relationship.
I am curious about what an argument 🤔 between the 2 of you looks like, like who starts it, what does she say, what do you say.. and I wonder: in what specific, concrete ways do you need her to be invested in you (which she is not)? Is it that she’s not willing to pay all of the rent until you are able to contribute?
And I understand you may be too exhausted 😩 to answer this.
Which brings me to the thought 🤔 that a relationship should Energize 🔋, not Exhaust.
Hope to read from you soon enough. I wish 🤞 you Clarity and the Energy 🔋 that accompanies clarity.
😱👀🔋🌙 Anita
February 23, 2026 at 4:48 pm #455418anitaParticipantDear Confused:
The 24/7 rumination brings me back to what I shared with you much earlier: that I was diagnosed with OCD and was prescribed with Zoloft (it’s the brand name of an SSRI drug, forgot the generic name) for OCD and it helped me A LOT.
Of course, what worked for me may not work for someone else. (and I don’t know if your rumination is OCD). If you do see a psychiatrist soon, maybe explore this possibility.
Coming to think 🤔 about it, you’re numb to life as it is (the present) but emotional over the past. So, you do feel intensely 😢 about what WAS. Numb for what IS. Did I get it right?
🤔 Anita
February 23, 2026 at 8:31 am #455407anitaParticipantHello Debbie 🙂
I love how you describe the meaning behind each piece — especially the rings from your mother and grandmother. It’s beautiful how objects can hold memories and intention.
I’m not wearing intentional jewelry right now, but I really enjoy hearing the stories behind what others choose and what those items mean to them.
🤍 Anita
February 23, 2026 at 7:54 am #455406anitaParticipantHi Sonia,
I’m really glad to read back from you 🙂
It makes so much sense that these new boundaries feel strange and uncomfortable. When you’ve spent years putting others first, doing something healthier can feel like you’re doing something wrong, even though you’re not. The guilt you’re feeling doesn’t mean you’re doing something wrong — it just means you’re doing something new.
Boundaries often feel awkward at first, but they’re part of taking care of yourself, and it sounds like you’re already noticing moments of relief. It’s also really healthy that you’re letting yourself feel the emotions instead of shutting them down. That’s how real change happens.
A lot of people who’ve spent a long time being very tuned into others’ feelings find that boundaries feel unfamiliar at first. I relate to that — I grew up being very tuned into my mother’s emotions and not having many boundaries. As an adult, saying “no” or not people‑pleasing felt like I was doing something wrong to the other person. It’s something I’ve had to work on too.
Thank you for the update. I’m always glad to hear from you, whenever you feel like sharing.
🤍 Anita
February 23, 2026 at 7:08 am #455402anitaParticipantHello again, Confused 🙂. I’m okay even though I got up too early (5 am).
I missed talking with you. I mean, I don’t want to analyze what happened or what is still happening (the dissociation, emotional shutdown, depression perhaps, whatever it is), but I missed talking with you.
I wonder, are you still in contact with her, and any news in regard to the psychiatrist or in regard to therapy?
🤍 Anita
February 22, 2026 at 8:25 pm #455395anitaParticipant… Zenith.. ???
February 22, 2026 at 8:17 pm #455394anitaParticipantLaven, you haven’t been forgotten, not by me.
✨️🌙 Anita
February 22, 2026 at 7:55 pm #455393anitaParticipantHow are you friend? 🤍 Anita
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