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July 6, 2026 at 11:05 am #459219
anitaParticipantPeace begins right here ✨️✨️✨️
July 6, 2026 at 10:09 am #459216anitaParticipantGood morning/ afternoon, Peter 🙂
My pattern has been to not stay with a feeling (a natural movement of coming home), but to jump to analysis and fixing (some monumental, difficult mental exercise). That turned a simple emotional truth into a mental project.
Instead of staying with a hurt, let’s say, my mind started asking why, how, what it means, what it says about me, what it says about the other person, etc., and the original feeling got buried under thinking.
A feeling that get buried alive, doesn’t disappear. The hurt stays in the body because the mind doesn’t let it be fully felt/ complete its natural cycle. The hurt becomes tension, irritability, or depression, and the original hurt gets mixed with old memories, fears, interpretations, and judgments
When thinking takes over, the feeling doesn’t move — it gets stuck.
Anita
July 5, 2026 at 9:20 pm #459194anitaParticipantHey Hey Hey Confused 🙂
I can hear how much you don’t like feeling disconnected. That kind of numbness can happen with stress or medication changes, and I really hope your psych can help you with it — he’s the right person to support you with these symptoms.
Your girlfriend’s need for reassurance is normal, and your numbness doesn’t mean you don’t care. It just means you’re overwhelmed right now.
Your caring 🤍 hasn’t disappeared — it’s just muted by what you’re going through.
🌿🤍🌿🤍 Anita”
July 5, 2026 at 8:49 pm #459193anitaParticipantHey ScottyDye 🙂
It sounds like you’re shifting into a place where you’re choosing your own direction instead of staying stuck in what’s been hurting you. That’s a strong and important move.
What you’re living through is genuinely very difficult, and anyone in your situation would feel worn down and overwhelmed.
The fact that you can see even a small bit of light and want to move toward it says a lot about your strength.
You’re not imagining the difficulty — you’re responding to real conditions that would break most people. And choosing to move forward, step by step, isn’t being a victim; it’s you taking your life back.
Keep following that direction you are finding. It’s valid, and it’s yours.
🌿✨️🌿 Anita
July 5, 2026 at 6:10 pm #459185anitaParticipantHey ScottyDye:
I am sorry to read about your situation (and your brother’s) 😔
I noticed that the only person who sometimes leaves the house is your mother (“going out with friends/ boyfriend”) while your grandmother is bed ridden, your brother “never leaves his room” and you “NEVER leave.. NEVER go out and do anything”.
Everything you described points to a depressing household indeed. And seems like you’ve been your grandmother’s caretaker, in practice.
I hope you do leave very soon, just plan ahead a bit, find community resources to help you beyond a homeless shelter. Maybe a shelter that supervisrs communal living and provides emotional support..?
Anita
July 5, 2026 at 5:49 pm #459184anitaParticipantThank you, ScottyDye. I’ll reply to you further in your new thread.
July 5, 2026 at 5:47 pm #459183anitaParticipantHi again, Eva 🙂
But you didn’t lose your sense of self. You advocated for yourself all along. It’s just that he can’t or won’t listen. And you’re right, a lot of men out there are emotionally unavailable.
You’ve been very attached to him, emotionally, so separating from him is very difficult for you. It would be for anyone so attached. Try to calm yourself (look up/ use mindfulness or grounding techniques)?
In the future, maybe sooner than later, when you meet men for a possible relationship/ marriage, you can sort of interview them and find out about their emotional availability/ attachment style before getting emotionally invested yourself.
Yes, indeed, you deserve to be cherished ✨️.
The way I’ve experienced this world, true love is hard to come by. You’re not alone, and you have what it takes ( intelligence, insight, courage and perseverance) to find true love 👍👍👍
🌿✨️🌿 Anita
July 5, 2026 at 2:02 pm #459178anitaParticipantHey Dear Confused:
“What else did it improve?”- you sounded calmer, more clearly thinking.
“Adding other people’s experiences don’t really help.”- you mean her (GF’s) experience? Can you elaborate?
“I can’t even get sad… I can’t feel good while laughing anymore either”- you mean right now/within the hour/today? Since yesterday?
And again, trying to force feelings backfires.
Anita
July 5, 2026 at 1:14 pm #459176anitaParticipantHey Confused 👋 🙂
You sound so very mentally healthy in the 2nd and 3rd paragraph of your recent post, that (I’m thinking): if the SSRI made it possible, I’m all for you not tapering off!
Besides, 10 days ago, yes, you felt nice, crying.. but you still do, just not all of the time.
And 10 days ago, you didn’t feel nice, etc., all of the time either. You felt plenty of apathy back then.
I think that your memory gets.. Confused, you remembering a moment (of feeling) as if it happened all of the time, and dismiss the improvements you’ve experienced with the med because the improvement does not happen all of the time.
(Black- and-white, all- or- nothing thinking)
Bogart is eating a rib bone right now, 4th of July leftover.
🌿✨️🌿 Anita
July 5, 2026 at 12:56 pm #459175anitaParticipantINCONVENIENCE
July 5, 2026 at 12:55 pm #459174anitaParticipantHi, hello, hi Eva 🙂
“Was I actually asking for too much?”-
No, not at all, not objectively. It’s only that asking more from someone not able or not willing to give more, is.. well, unwise.
Like asking for water to gush out of a rock, something like that.
He called your legitimate needs and feelings “too much…dramatic… bullshit and nagging” simply because your valid, human needs and feelings INCONVWNIENCE him.
I am guessing he’d kind of get along, superficially, with a woman with no needs and no feelings other than those he’s okay with, a self-erased woman.. one whose been erased (repressed and suppressed) before meeting him, or one who’ll quickly adjust to him by erasing herself.
That’s my honest outside perspective 🙂
🌿✨️🌿 Anita
July 5, 2026 at 9:09 am #459170anitaParticipantGood morning, Roberta 🙂
Thank you for your kind message. It brought a smile to my face when I first read it, and the smile is still lingering. I value the way you express connection — through simple, everyday gestures like imagining a walk or a cup of tea. It’s a warm and grounded way of being present. I just imagined having a cup of (coffee) with you and chatting.
Still smiling Anita
July 4, 2026 at 10:50 pm #459165anitaParticipantGood night, ScottyDye and grandmother 🌙✨😴🌿
July 4, 2026 at 10:00 pm #459162anitaParticipantHappy 250th 4th of July, ScottyDye. I hope you enjoyed the good food you mentioned on the other thread.
Here, sitting in the sunroom, finally dark, I can clearly hear loud fireworks ✨️✨️✨️✨️✨️✨️ outside, 10 pm. The night is young.
Anita
July 4, 2026 at 9:46 pm #459161anitaParticipantQ: The feeling of love- what does it mean?
A: The Desire to Connect.
In a way that Values me and Values you.
To C.O.N.N.E.C.T.
See me, Hear me, Feel what’s in my heart.
Don’t want 2 B ALONE.
.. I am not Alone. Within me, I am connected.
Because gone is the chronic, lifelong shame and guilt.
And what’s left is what was always there: a human’s desire to connect with you.
🌿✨️🌿 Anita
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