Hey Dear Confused: I’ll be away for a few hours (last night at the taproom, business going out of business)- will reply later tonight. (using computer, no emojis, ha-ha)

“The tragedy of a nervous system that has forgotten its rhythm”, “how a compassionate heart naturally moves”, and “the heart mistakes it’s own hardening for strength”.

I want to meditate on this for a while, on how it applies or applied to me, and how softness and strength can co-exist.

There’s plenty more for me to read in this piece and contemplate in the next few days. Thank you, Peter.

🤍 Anita

Good morning- evening, Confused 🙂

I understand it being confusing, annoying and scary- all at the same time, like having 2 selves, or being split into two parts: the one that feels love and wants to be with her, and the other part that doesn’t.

And then trying to bridge the gap between the 2 parts by relentless questioning, checking, googling, etc, that doesn’t work.

CBT works for a lot of people because there’s a strong connection between what you feel (or don’t feel) and what you think. Often people think what is not true to reality (aka distorted thinking), and CBT (the Cognitive Therapy part) is about correcting distorted thinking.

When that happens, feeling respond and the two (thinking and feelings) are no longer conflicted/ confusing.

CBT is different from psychoanalysis: Yyou don’t have to talk about your childhood (unless you want to, I guess).

Yes, I don’t like gifts.. nor do I like holidays and celebrations.

Back to CBT- it works for me because, like I said, when distorted/ untrue/ false thinking and core beliefs (example of one: ‘if I don’t feel love for her all the time, or every time I think of her, then I don’t love her/ I will hurt- disappoint her’) are corrected within your own mind, good things happen (mental health, clarity, stability).

😱=>🙂, 🥶=>😉, 👎=>👍 Anita

Yes, I did manage things with CBT, I am a CBT fan. I still have the handouts my therapist Aaron gave me. It’s in a 📂.

I am not very focused at the moment but will get back 2 u Fri morning my time.

Signing out Thurs 9:18 pm, Fri 7:18 am your time.

🌉🌙✨️ Anita

How are you, Ivy?

* posted last… I wronged you

“I could never feel…excitement when receiving gifts… from previous girlfriends… inside, I wouldn’t be touched by the gifts”- the disconnect/ shutdown 🥶 / gap since teenage years 😔

“her gifts touched me so much I cried a lot”- the reconnection (with the younger Confused)/ the awakening 🔥/ the bridge 🌉

🤔 Anita