* Oh, I just noticed, I wrote “nothing was found”, I meant no blockage was found, but it could have been read as No Brain Was Found.

Such phrasing could have been what got me in trouble with Bruce who commented about the possible non-existance of my brain.

Bruce, 70 year-old, I miss him.

Hi Peter:

I must admit: without the help of AI in translating what you are saying (too abstract
too fancy; not oncrete enough for me), zI don’t understand what you’re saying

Even if I wanted to use AI at this time to concreticide (to make concrete, lol) what you wrote, I can’t- because my adorable dog (and my lack of caution) destroyed my computer and I don’t know how to access AI on my phone AND continue a message.

Looking at the title of your thread, I wonder if there’s any truth to Prison House of the Abstract? or is it just me.

It could be my personal challenge in regard to the abstract, a lack of the kind of intelligence required to decipher it, which brings me to tinnitus. I remember years ago you shared about it.

It happened to me one day that I noticed there is no more silence for me, only static, and at times, a ringing, and then 🙀 came the pulsating tinnitus: hearing the sound of a pulse. I looked it up and read that it could mean that a blood vessel going to the brain 🧠 is blocked.

I went to a doctor, had an imaging of my brain done- and nothing was found. But my point is that when I shared about it irl, someone commented: “So, you have proof (the imaging) that you do have a brain?”

It’s true, and he noticed, that I don’t understand abstract, figurative language.

What I increasingly like about myself these very days though, is that I understand emotional language more and more. I am feeling more human than ever before.

✨️🏃‍♀️🏃‍♂️🤍` Anita

Dear Robi:

It occurred to me, in regard to your girlfriend telling you that you should get your sh** together, that a man with a stable source of income, someone INDEPENDENT, wouldn’t put himself into a situation where he would become DEPENDENT (by proxy of his girlfriend or wife’s emotional dependence) on her mother.

It’s a man like her ex who needed a place to crash or a man like you who’se not settled, who needs a place to stay in Poland, who would be willing to put up with dependency on her mother.

So, she and her mother may reject an independent man and accept a dependent one, yet complain about him.

The fact that she doesn’t seem disturbed over her emotional fusion with her mother-at 39- tells me a change is not likely to happen, at least not for as long as her mother is alive.

I suppose that when her mother was depressed for years, your girlfriend tried her best to make her feel better, to take care of her emotionally (role reversal) and her mother rewarded her for it, so the role stuck.

Mentally, your girlfriend may be her mother’s mother, and she’d be a bad mother if she was to abandon her child (her mother).

As to why she’s willing to spend time on a holiday with you but not on living with you.. I suppose it’s okay with her mother that the two of you spend a holiday together, but it wouldn’t be okay with her mother (she’d be sad or hurt) if her daughter moved away.

As I am typing, I am thinking of Role Reversal. Your girlfriend having a little girl (her mother) to take care of, to call her often when away, to keep reassuring that mommy (gf) will be back home soon.

Yes, Copilot and I independently think that this situation will bother ANY man with any measure of mental health, and you are mentally healthy enough to be bothered by this situation 👍

Congrats for dusting off your old 📸 equipment!

🤍 Anita

Dear Mollie:

I’ve been thinking about your last message, and something really struck me — the way you hold love and gratitude for your parents while also acknowledging the pressure and overwhelm. That kind of emotional balance is rare. Most people swing to one extreme or the other, but you seem to have a very grounded sense of nuance. It says a lot about your emotional maturity.

And you’re right: stressful seasons like preparing for the bar tend to amplify old patterns. It doesn’t mean the patterns aren’t real — just that they become louder when life demands more from you. When things quiet down, you may find that the same themes are still there, just in a softer form.

I admire how reflective you are about all of this. You don’t shy away from looking inward, even when it’s uncomfortable. That’s a strength 💪

You wrote yesterday that I am selfless, but I do get something out of trying to understand how people’s childhoods affect their adulthoods: it helps me understand the same about me.

You asked, “Please tell me more about how you are doing. How have you been able to find peace in those bouts of anxiety? Did you take a break from the online world?”-

Yes, I do take breaks from the online world. I’m usually online in the mornings and in the evenings. I used to socialize with people in the real world a whole lot earlier, almost every day, sometimes up to 10 hours a day, but not much and not enough since Dec of last year because of a business closing. I socialize in the local taproom a few times a week and really enjoy it!

About finding peace, I’ll share what the analytical post I sent you on Feb 21 brought up for me in regard to seeking my own peace of mind:

I grew up in a home with conflict and tension. I can still feel the tension in my body all those years later, in the form of motor and vocal tics (Tourette’s) which involve physical tension.

There was a lot of emotional instability in the home (which didn’t feel like a home, but more like a pressure cooker), and I indeed absorbed a lot of the stress I grew up with.

My mother was explosive and her explosions were unpredictable. I tried my very best, again and again and again (after each time I failed) to be perfect so to prevent her next explosion.

My focus was my mother, how she felt. How I felt was moved out of focus. In other words, my needs, feelings, wants, preferences, those were moved so far out of my focus that I no longer knew what they were.

I felt responsible for how she felt, felt very guilty, as if I caused her to be miserable or angry, as if I birthed her, not the other way around. I wasn’t a care-free child or adolescent.. or adult.

I loved my mother deeply, but I also felt trapped and often angry. I tried to stop caring about her so that I could become a separate person, living my own life, so I kept being angry at her, but the anger never led to separating from her (psychologically). What did help is to allow myself to feel love for her, to not push down that love (trying unsuccessfully to get rid of it). (I’ll continue this post later).

Good morning, Confused:

“He diagnosed me within 20 minutes”, “He said… I am in the middle of a psychotic episode… He did say it’s a psychotic episode”, “He prescribed me (medication)… and he guaranteed that I will see difference immediately”, “He also suggested that the other psychotherapist isn’t helping because she is focusing on the wrong things… and she’s too young (she is 26)” –

I read that a psychotic episode involves one or more of the following types of symptoms: (1) Hallucinations (Sensing things that aren’t there, such as hearing voices, seeing things, smelling or feeling things without a source), (2) Delusions (Strong beliefs that are clearly untrue or disconnected from reality, such as believing someone is following you, or that you have special powers) (3) Disorganized thinking (Speech that is hard to follow, sentences that don’t connect, jumping from topic to topic)

(4) Disorganized or unusual behavior (Examples: acting in ways that don’t fit the situation, agitation, difficulty completing simple tasks, odd or unpredictable movements) (5) Negative symptoms (flat or blank facial expression, very little speech, withdrawal from others, lack of motivation, inability to carry out daily activities).

* There is such a thing as “early psychosis”, or a prodromal phase. This stage is not full psychosis, but it can precede it. It is usually gradual, not sudden. The most common features: A. Trouble concentrating- thoughts feel ‘foggy’ or ‘slowed’, difficulty following conversations, and feeling mentally overloaded. These are not hallucinations or delusions — just cognitive strain, B. Changes in perception- things like sounds feel louder or sharper, lights feel too bright, feeling ‘detached’ or ‘dreamlike’, feeling like the world is slightly ‘off’. This (B) can overlap with anxiety or dissociation.

C. Social withdrawal- avoiding friends, isolating, losing interest in activities, feeling disconnected from others. D. Emotional changes- blunted emotions, sudden anxiety, irritability, mood swings, feeling ‘flat’ or ’empty’, E. Functional decline- trouble at work or school, difficulty completing tasks, losing motivation, sleep disturbances.

F. Odd or unusual thoughts — but not full delusions- Examples: ‘Something feels strange, but I don’t know what.’, ‘I feel like people are looking at me more than usual.’

*** Early psychosis is not something a clinician diagnoses in 20 minutes. It usually unfolds over weeks to months and requires careful evaluation.

Next topic: a first psychiatric appointment is usually cautious, exploratory, and non‑committal. A psychiatrist may say things like: ‘We may need more than one session to get the full picture.’, ‘There are several possibilities we can explore.’ ‘Medication might help with X symptom.’, and ‘I can’t say for sure yet — we need more information.’. Psychiatrists are trained to be careful, measured, and non‑absolute.

Examples of a psychiatrist’s statements that are not standard or accepted practice: ‘I can diagnose you in 20 minutes.’, ‘You are definitely in a psychotic episode.’ ‘You will see improvement immediately — I guarantee it.’, ‘Your therapist is wrong / inexperienced / focusing on the wrong things.’ ‘You don’t need therapy, only medication.’, and ‘This is absolutely the diagnosis.’

Psychiatrists avoid guarantees, absolute statements, criticizing other professionals, and making firm diagnoses without full evaluation

Especially in a first appointment.

Psychiatrists know that medications affect people differently (so, guarantying that a medication will work, or guaranteeing immediate improvement is not medically appropriate.). They know that diagnoses require time and that symptoms can overlap (ex., anxiety and dissociation symptoms overlap with early psychosis symptoms), that mental health is complex, and rushing (20 minutes) leads to mistakes

The bottom line- guarantees, quick diagnoses, and criticism of other clinicians are not standard practice.

I hope the above is somehow helpful, Confused.

🤍Anita

Hey Confused:

A medical doctor, a psychiatrist, saw you for the first time in his life, for TWENTY minutes only, and following a conversation of about 10-15 minutes, diagnosed you with psychosis?

And bipolar disorder?

All in 10-15 min conversation?

🙄 Anita