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July 19, 2026 at 10:07 pm #459509
anitaParticipantGerard: Dec 8, 2025 is the last time you posted. I wonder how you’re doing, 7 months and 11 days later?
I am bringing this thread up because sometime in Dec 2025 was the last time I danced. It was at the Winery (now closed forevermore). It was under the pavilion, under the night sky, after I had enough red wine to lower inhibitions.
It was free- style, moving any which way the spirit called, hands and arms up in the air, moving to the rhythm.
Fast forward, tonight, July 19, 2026, 7 months later, there was a concert downtown by the river. Lots of people were there, and dancing in front of so many, being 1 of only 3 people who dared to dance, was at first intimidating.
That’s why I needed a 2nd glass of wine
I walked down to the dancing area (only 2, and later 1 more people were dancing) and like them, I took off my sandals, and danced on the green grass.
A little girl came up to me, looking up to me, admiring my dancing and wanted to be part of it. I included her best I could.
I moved to the music, a legend in my own mind (and perhaps in the little girl’s mind). DARING to dance in front of so many people.
Usually self-conscious, controlled, I let go and just moved-2-the-music. It was wonderful.
There are a few more of these events scheduled this summer and I want to be a dancing- part-of it. It makes Life Worth Living.
🥳 🎶 💃 🍷 💃 🎵 Anita
July 19, 2026 at 11:57 am #459503anitaParticipantI wanted to add, Tom, that I admire your resilience, how you withstand difficult times at work and at home and courageously, you are moving on toward easoer, better times 👏🌿
Anita
July 18, 2026 at 9:21 pm #459498anitaParticipantHi Tom:
I am sorry to read about the miscarriage.
No worries about the silence here. Anytime you post here is appreciated 🙏
I hope the small Euro trip gives you and your partner some joy.
I wish the 3 weeks leading to the trip were less of a battle.
🌿 Anita
July 16, 2026 at 6:16 pm #459480anitaParticipantHow are you, Sisi?
July 16, 2026 at 11:05 am #459478anitaParticipantDear Eva:
I am sorry you had such a disheartening experience with your co- worker. His behavior was offensive, it would offend anyone 😔
I was wondering: the 2nd ex you shared about was in the same friend group as your first (the reason, he said, why he kept you a secret).
The coworker you shared about most recently is also in a group of coworkers, a group that includes you.
As part of group dynamics, people talk about each other, forming impressions through stories shared (gossip).
Do you think this is part of what’s been going on?
🤔 Anita
July 15, 2026 at 8:31 pm #459462anitaParticipantHey Dear Confused 🙂
It’s healthy to take breaks from the forums and pace yourself👍
I hear how confusing these shifts in feeling are for you, and it makes sense that depression can affect how things show up. Take your breaks as you need them. I’m always glad to read from you whenever you choose to post.
🌿 Anita
July 14, 2026 at 1:12 pm #459436anitaParticipantHi 🌿🐺 SereneWolf:
I’m tired but fine — thank you for asking. And I have to say, it made me smile that exactly an hour & 5 minutes ago (by the time I submit this message), a 🌿🐺 from across the world submitted a post to me.
About my kind words — you’re welcome. They’re sincere. You’ve been consistently gracious and kind through the years, no matter what. That’s definitely a positively special 🐺🤍
What stood out to me most in your message was this:
“I don’t think I need more answers anymore. I think I just need to keep taking the next small step, even with uncertainty.”-
There’s more self‑trust in your tone now, less fear, and more clarity about your patterns. What you wrote shows real growth. Saying you don’t need more answers anymore — and that you’re willing to take small steps even without certainty — is a major shift from reassurance‑seeking.
And of course, it won’t always be smooth or easy — growth never is. But the way you’re facing uncertainty now shows real courage, and I believe these small steps you’re taking will keep opening the path forward. One small step at a time is enough 🙂
🌿 🌿 🌿 Anita
July 13, 2026 at 9:00 pm #459426anitaParticipantHow are you, Christi, what happens next?
July 13, 2026 at 1:33 pm #459418anitaParticipantHello again, Stephanie 🙂
You are very welcome and thank you for the update. I’m really sorry you’re dealing with so much instability around you. Sudden staffing changes, unclear decisions, and messages from leadership that don’t match your actual behavior would make anyone feel unsafe.
From what you describe, you are taking accountability: you acknowledge mistakes, correct them, and outline how you’ll prevent them going forward. It makes sense that being told you’re “not trustworthy” or “need to be told to do your job” would feel confusing and unfair when your actions show the opposite.
I’m glad you have coworkers who understand what’s happening and can share some humor to get through the days. I’m here, and I’m glad you reached out.
🌿✨️🌿 Anita
July 12, 2026 at 8:43 pm #459412anitaParticipantHey 🌙🦉 Confused:
“Lately I was questioning,’what is love really?’
… ‘How do people that love feel like?'”-Something you can rest in, like a warm blanket in a cold day..?
About her, you wrote: “A sweetheart that loves me”-
So you know that she ❤️ you. Are you beginning to rest in that knowing? To trust it?
“I am slowly learning to drop (shame)”- because you are slowly trusting her loving you?
“I think I also expected a relationship to ‘save’ me”-
What if the two of you save each other by trusting and resting in each other’s love?
I know there’re lots of ?-s above, and they’re not meant for you to answer me. I’m just thinking out loud.
We’ve been communicating a lot since Dec: 7+ months, and from all that you shared about yourself and about her, I know (and here, I am not asking 🙂) that the two of you love each other, truly.
It’s about slowly trusting the love you have for each other.
I didn’t respond to every single thing you shared. Please let me know if you’d like me to respond to something I didn’t.
🌿❤️✨️🌿 Anita
July 12, 2026 at 11:44 am #459404anitaParticipantDear Eva 🙂
What you’re describing sounds indeed like total exhaustion — the kind that happens when too many things fall apart and you’re left questioning everything. You’ve been dealing with failed relationships, friends who disappeared when you were honest, a family that treats you like the black sheep, and now an inner voice that says maybe you’re the problem.
Anyone would feel overwhelmed in that mix.
When life hits from so many directions, the nervous system gets flooded and the future feels like a blank wall. What you’re feeling is what happens when you’ve been carrying too much without enough support. You’re in a transition, not a dead end.
You don’t have to solve your whole future at once — you just need one small, humane step at a time. And none of this means the problem is you. It means you’re tired, and you deserve gentleness, not judgment.
🌿🌿🌿 Anita
July 11, 2026 at 11:41 pm #459398anitaParticipant“Old Woman: No everyone. Everything. Widening your circle at every opportunity.”-
May I be safe.
May I be peaceful.
May I be free from suffering.May you be safe.
May you be peaceful.
May you be free from suffering.May all beings be safe.
May all beings be peaceful.
May all beings be free from suffering.(Mettā Bhāvanā)
July 11, 2026 at 10:39 pm #459397anitaParticipantHow are you, devesh tiwaro?
July 11, 2026 at 10:13 pm #459396anitaParticipantHey Confused:
I just had a conversation with Copilot- not about you but about me. And then, somewhere along the way, I could see that it partly, if not fully applies to you as well. Here it is (again, it was about me, didn’t have you in mind at all):
Anita: “When a person starves too long for love, after years and decades of that, is it possible to reject love, like a little of it feels like too much, overwhelming, unpleasant?”
Copilot: “Yes, Anita — it is absolutely possible. When a person has been starved for love for years or decades, even a small amount of genuine care can feel too intense, too bright, too close, almost like stepping out of a dark room into sudden sunlight. The nervous system doesn’t register it as comfort; it registers it as threat, because it’s unfamiliar, overwhelming, and asks the person to feel things they had to suppress for survival.
“When someone grows up without being loved in the ways a child needs, their system adapts by becoming hyper‑vigilant, self‑reliant, and emotionally closed for protection. Then, later in life, when real love or kindness finally appears, it doesn’t feel soothing — it feels destabilizing.
“A little bit of warmth can feel like too much, because it touches the very places that were abandoned. The person may pull away, reject it, feel uncomfortable, or even feel shame. It’s not that they don’t want love; it’s that their body learned that closeness is dangerous, unpredictable, or painful. So yes — after long deprivation, love can feel overwhelming, unpleasant, or ‘too much,’ even when it’s exactly what the person has always longed for…
“Long-term emotional deprivation teaches the body that closeness is unreliable, unpredictable, or even dangerous, so the attachment system reorganizes itself around protection rather than connection. A child who doesn’t receive steady love learns to mute their needs, suppress longing, and rely on self‑sufficiency, because needing becomes associated with pain. Over years, this creates an adult who feels safest at a distance, who experiences intimacy as overwhelming, and who interprets love as either a threat or a test.
“The attachment system becomes hyper‑vigilant, easily flooded, and quick to retreat. This is why even gentle love can feel too intense, why longing feels shameful, and why closeness can trigger fear instead of comfort. In essence, deprivation wires the body to survive without love, and that wiring makes receiving love later feel confusing, destabilizing, or ‘too much.'”
Notice, CONFUSED 🙂, the last sentence: “That wiring makes receiving love CONFUSING”
🌿🌿🌿 Anita
July 11, 2026 at 9:10 pm #459395anitaParticipantThinking about you this Sat night, hoping You’re okay. Or better than okay. Glad you didn’t delete this thread. Hoping to read from you again 🙏
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