I hear you, James — and yes, thoughts come and go. I was just enjoying the moment of laughter between actual people on the thread. Sometimes the simple human exchange matters too 🙂

* There’s no “like” option here, but I have to interject a ✔️ (like) for Thoams’s reply. It’s just perfect 😁

Welcome back, Peter 🙂

The luggage I have been dropping on floors in my own “grand, quiet homecoming”:

1. The hope that my mother will love me one bright, magical day.

2. Chronic shame.

3. Chronic guilt.

4. Chronic self- doubt/ distrust in my own perceptions, evaluations and emotions.

5. Chronic distrust in people who are okay.

6. Chronic emotional suppression and (chronic) over- reliance on intellect (having analyzed tiny buddha members like they were case studies 😔)

7. Everything else that’s chronic 🙂

Dropping this luggage is making it possible for me to “engage fully in simple everyday things” (Wagamese).

What’re you dropping, Peter?

🌿🌿🌿 Anita

Hi Dear Starlight ✨️

I see, to add context as to why you left 👍

I whole mindedly and whole heartedly disagree with that spiritual belief 🙂

Unless she is aware that you posted here in the forums (let’s say you told her that you did), the chances that she will come across the tiny buddha forums are mini- miniscule because the greatest majority of people who read tiny buddha’s blogs, quotes, etc., do so on social media (Facebook, Instagram and such), and there, on social media- the forums do not exist.

It is only when someone goes directly to the website that they can see the forums.

And looking at the activity on the forums, you can see for yourself how slow it is here, and has been for a long, long time.

If you are worried nonetheless, you can contact the website owner (go to HOME and scroll down to CONTACT, and ask for your threads to be deleted.

You can also delete your account.

Here’s my testimony thoug: I’ve been here on the forums every day for more than 11 years and shared many personal details about myself (including my real first name), yet not a single person irl has ever connected me to the forums.

If you decide to delete your threads/ account, please let me know that you will, will you 🙏

🌿🌿🌿 Anita

Dear Starlight ✨🤍💫

It sounds like you have gained a lot of clarity these past weeks. You’ve been doing deep, difficult work, and it really shows. It makes sense that it felt overwhelming, and you don’t owe anyone a quicker reply. Taking time away is completely okay 🙂

I love that you found a simple art book that feels gentle and doable. That’s such a kind way to reconnect with your creativity — step by step, without pressure.

About what you shared in the “Psychic ‘attack’” thread — that sense of something unwelcome near you makes emotional sense given the enmeshment you’ve been untangling. It reflects how deeply and negatively that old bond affected you, not anything supernatural or dangerous.

Best I understand, what your mother did to you wasn’t a single, loud act of stopping you from going to art school — it was the long, quiet erosion of your confidence, your identity, and your right to have a life of your own.

She created an emotional atmosphere where you were guilt‑tripped for having needs (“guilt tripping”, your words), made uncomfortable when you succeeded (“no pictures were put up”), denied validation when you achieved something (“lack of validation”), and subtly pushed into supporting her dreams instead of developing your own (“help support her by doing housework” while she pursued art).

That kind of environment slowly wears down a young person’s sense of worth until the door to their future feels closed — not because they weren’t allowed to walk through it, but because they no longer believed they had the right or the strength to.

What you’re seeing now — the sabotage, the enmeshment, the way your mental health deteriorated — is the real damage. And it makes complete sense that it took time and distance for you to recognize it.

Stepping back from contact with your mother can help you in ways that go far beyond avoiding conflict — it gives you the space you’ve never had to develop a self that isn’t shaped by her needs, her guilt, or her emotional reactions.

Every time an enmeshed adult child reconnects, even briefly, the old pattern pulls them back into the role they were trained to play: the child who must manage the mother’s feelings, protect her from discomfort, and silence their own needs. That isn’t your fault — it’s the pattern she created.

As long as there is contact, that pattern gets reinforced, and your mind doesn’t get the quiet it needs to grow in its own direction. No contact isn’t about punishment; it’s protection. It’s the boundary that allows your identity, your creativity, and your inner clarity to finally take root without being overridden.

You deserve a life where your thoughts belong to you, where your achievements are celebrated, and where your emotional world is not shaped by someone else’s unmet needs. Distance is what makes that possible.

Your decision to step back from contact sounds grounded and protective of your well‑being.

🌿🌿🌿Anita

Dear Robi:

Thank you for writing back 🙂. I can hear how depleted you feel — emotionally worn out from carrying so many decisions and uncertainties at the same time.

It makes sense that Warsaw, staying where you are, and even the relationship- all feel confusing right now. When someone is this depleted, anything or everything can feel like a burden.

You don’t have to decide anything right now. You’re allowed to take this step by step, gently. If you feel up to it, I wonder what part of the relationship feels heaviest for you these days.

As for me, I’m sitting in a comfortable armchair with Bogart curled against me, listening to his even breathing. It brings a sense of calm, and I’m here with that calm as I read your words.

🌿🌿🌿Anita

Dear Thomas:

Reading your replies to Kris, I don’t see you attacking her, not at all.

You are a good man, Thomas and you don’t like conflicts and misunderstandings. Neither do I.

🙏 Anita