I figure for men, especially young men, sexting, or anything sexual is very powerful, even deeper than emotional.

Given that it was a LDR and that you spent IRL only 3 days, I’d say, yes, it could be infatuation, yes.

Why do you cry about the thought of losing her forever?

Could be, likely is (says I), 🤔 the re-awakening of real loss in childhood, before you ever met her (online).

🤔🤍📱 Anita

* I want to reread

* to bring on

Dear Alessa:

You are very welcome and thank you for your empathy and kindness 😊

Yesterday, on my walk with Bogart, after submitting the long message to you in this thread, I planned on writing more to you about a victim’s empathy for his/ her perpetrator of abuse, a topic you brought again today.

Imagine, Alessa, a court trial where a person is judged to have severely abused a child and then empathy is expressed in the courthouse- in the presence of the child- for both the perpetrator and the child.

That would be so wrong. In the context of abuse, it is the victim alone who deserves empathy. The perpetrator deserves none.

The perpetrator deserves empathy for the time before and separated from the abuse, a time when he or she was truly a victim.

And so, I do feel empathy for my mother in regard to the times she was a victim, before she abused me and others, but I don’t dwell on it because I have been her victim for many years.

In the context of me and her, I am the one who deserves empathy, not her.

I too feel the abuse in my body every hour of every day in the form of somatic tension, holding my breath and tics, both motor and vocal. So, you see, I am not free from her abuse. Freer than before, but not free.

I deserve my own empathy. The perpetrator does not deserve my empathy.

I hope that other people who have not been her victims 🙏 have empathy for her. I pray for her to experience as little physical and mental pain as possible.

I was focused on her most of my life, like you, I loved her and hated her at the same time. And I felt so much empathy for her, I often drowned in it. Empathy for her hindered my healing.

And so, whenever I feel empathy for her, I don’t fight it, on one hand, but I avoid drowning in it by redirecting my empathy from going her wat to going my way.

In the context of my mother and me, neither her nor me felt empathy for me. Time to change that 😌

🤍🙏✨️ Anita

Dear Robi:

I tend to send posts that are too long and have too much in them, and I think I did that with you many times.

I understand your girlfriend’s concern that you’ll move back to Warsaw only for a few months.

I wonder how your coaching session go?

I think that staying in one place for long makes you feel trapped like you did in the storage room and in your parents’ workplace and in that vacationing house 🏠

You need space, a place where you feel safe to be and become, express and explore.. to maximize the computer screen of your soul (referring to you minimizing it when in the storage room).

None of this is your fault, Robi, you were not offered the minimal a child needs.

🤍 Anita

Hey Laura:

Nice photo. Well, it wasn’t terrible. We are all human beings 6and therefore we make mistakes. Even he does (the 21 year-old navy guy).

If he’s reasonable, he’ll understand. You can give him a.. coupan good for one little lie he can tell you sometime 😉

✨️ Anita

Dear Emma:

About the video link you tried to send me, that’s okay, I don’t like watching informational videos (it stresses me, part of ADHD).

It’s not at all your fault for reacting as you did to your father’s crisis or judgment regarding your taste in music. His comment was not the first of its kind but part of a pattern where you were not allowed a safe place to express your likes, dislikes, opinions, etc.

I don’t think he is likely to change this pattern and I wouldn’t try to make him understand, if I was you. He is set in his ways.

But you still need a safe place to be and become, a place where you can express and explore your thoughts, feelings, preferences, needs, wants, all without gear of criticism 😔 and judgment.

🤍✨️🤍 Love, Anita

(If you need private communication over public, you are welcome to give me an email address and I’ll respond to you there)