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December 31, 2025 at 11:35 am #453642
anitaParticipantOh, and a Happy New Year to you, Peter 🍃🌙🧘♂️🌾🍵 🌊 ✨🌬️
December 31, 2025 at 11:26 am #453641anitaParticipantHi Everyone:
Inspired by your most recent Zen story, Thomas, here’s another (from “101 Zen Stories”): A famous Zen master was known for giving long, profound lectures. One day, a student asked: “Master, how did you become so wise?”
The master replied: “When I was young, I decided I would meditate until I understood the truth of the universe. I sat for seven days without moving. On the seventh day, the Buddha himself appeared and revealed all the secrets of existence.”
The students gasped in awe.
Later that afternoon, a group of students tried the same thing. They sat in meditation for hours, then went to the master and said: “Master, we meditated all day, but the Buddha didn’t appear to us.”
The master smiled and said: “Ah. He probably didn’t come because he was still laughing about my story from this morning.” 🤣😆😂
December 31, 2025 at 11:06 am #453640anitaParticipantDear Peter:
Inspired by your words: “the source is never reached through what comes from it. It is already here, before the doing and the thinking, the quiet canvas… The Way is not something you follow. It is something that finds you when you stop trying to follow anything and being afraid.”-
My letter to myself for the new year: May I relax enough, let go enough so to- not reach or earn calm- but to let the calm that’s been there all along (before me and after me, nothing at all that’s dependent on my thoughts or efforts), reach me. Amen.
Anita
December 31, 2025 at 10:46 am #453638anitaParticipantHello Confused:
I am feeling much better this morning, thank you!
“I for sure over analyzed everything because I was panicking… I have huge anxiety”-
What helps me in regard to anxiety is to have a daily routine, doing the same things every day, like participating in tiny buddha every single morning (and evening) as well as taking a long walk every day.
Do you have a daily routine, part of which is some form of physical exercise?
🤍 Anita
December 31, 2025 at 10:15 am #453637anitaParticipantDear Going Through Life (GTL):
You are welcome, friend, and thank you for caring! Glad to report that I am feeling much better this morning (actually, since last evening) 🙂.
At 25, you are just a pup (it’s a saying, just-a-pup), GTL!
Taking it very slow emotionally, is a good idea 👍
As far as New Year Resolutions- when I was just a pup, I used to make NYRs. Now, I make them every day 🌟🚀 😊.
Anita
December 31, 2025 at 9:34 am #453634anitaParticipant* Only one of me there, at the end of the message lol
December 31, 2025 at 9:32 am #453633anitaParticipantDear me:
“I just wanted to leave this girl so I can work on myself and start traveling not worrying about someone all the time… I had to make up a lame reason to end things, instead of the truth that I liked her”-
What you wrote here and shared previously many times (beginning in regard to the first coworker years ago) fits a certain Attachment Style, and I wonder if talking about it may help?
So, what you shared over time, fits the Fearful‑Avoidant Attachment Style (also called disorganized attachment), which I personally experienced for most of my life.
It combines two opposite forces:
(1) an Anxious side who longs for connection and closeness
(2) an Avoidant side who becomes overwhelmed by closeness
When there is a connection, a person with this attachment becomes hyper‑vigilant to signs of rejection, monitors texting frequency, tone, social media activity, feels easily threatened by small changes, and interprets neutral behavior as loss of interest, then shuts down when emotions get too intense, withdrawing suddenly, blocking, disappearing, or cutting off contact to regulate the fear.
This creates a cycle of: “Come close.. but not too close.”
A fearful‑avoidant person craves intimacy, reaches out, then feels unsafe in intimacy, panics and withdraws or blocks. Then feels lonely again, longs for connection, and repeat.
It’s a nervous system stuck between fear of abandonment and fear of closeness.
So, even small changes—like fewer texts, slower replies, or a missed Instagram story—can feel like danger.
I experienced this because I desired closeness with my mother but then it was unsafe, she turned against me too many times. That became the blueprint for my connections with people: wanting it but feeling unsafe in it.
Does this resonate with you?
Thank you for your good wishes for me, me. Maybe they helped because seems like my cold is gone or almost all gone since yesterday!
Happy New Year Me 🎉🥂✨🎊🍾🌟🎉🥳✨🍾🎊🌟🎉 Anita
Anita
December 31, 2025 at 8:37 am #453622anitaParticipantDear Tee:
Thank you for the message 🙏.
I will reply later, but for now, I just wanted to say, in regard to the cold- I am feeling better since last evening and even better this morning. The congestion is gone, so is the weakness.
I think that what helped a lot is that following a week of being socially starved (no winery, no taproom, not even attending the Christmas Day get together with neighbors because I had to stay with Bogart), I finally socialized at the taproom last evening. I was super excited.
Bogart almost didn’t vomit on the way there. He did the moment we got there (in the car) 😕
In regard to chewing cables.. since you asked, I just looked it up and there is such a thing as “cable protectors” and “bitter anti-chew sprays”. Now I know 🙏.
I’ll reply further later.
🤍 🫶 🙏 🫶 Anita
December 30, 2025 at 8:10 pm #453606anitaParticipantWe project to the outside what’s already inside of us. We see out THERE what already exists in HERE inside of us
Similar to the story you started your thread with.
Fascinating, Thomas.
🤍 Anita
December 30, 2025 at 7:56 pm #453605anitaParticipantDear Confused:
I’ll reply in the morning, not too focused now (getting over a cold), but sounds like you over analyzed her (and yourself)?
It’s something I was guilty of doing, which got on people’s nerves. Not sure zI am making sense right now.. you can tell me?
Back to you Wed morning.
December 30, 2025 at 7:48 pm #453603anitaParticipantedit; a good son
December 30, 2025 at 7:46 pm #453602anitaParticipantDear me:
I am glad you’ll be going out with coworkers for New Year!
I understand how it may feel, not having your father alive for the first ever Christmas. No matter how complicated the relationship was, still, he was there your whole life, and now he is gone.
You did your best as he was nearing the end of his life, your very best. You werte a good so to a father who was not as good to his son
Pat yourself on the back, me, for having been the good 👍 son that you were, that you are still. You are a good person, me!!!
I’ll write a bit more in the morning (using my phone. Did ,I mention zI broke my computer by spilling liquid on it the day before yesterday?
😔 Anita
December 30, 2025 at 1:59 pm #453595anitaParticipantThomas, I enjoy your humor!
Dear Q: Sorry you’re feeling a bit sad. Currently, I am spending the days leading to New Years sick, a cold, congested, not feeling well. I pray that we both feel better as time progresses. Let’s do our best to be good to ourselves and to each other 🌟.
🤧 Anita
December 30, 2025 at 1:48 pm #453594anitaParticipantThank you, Thomas. Happy New Year 🎉🥂✨🎊🍾🌟🎉🥳✨🍾🎊🌟🎉
December 30, 2025 at 1:42 pm #453592anitaParticipantWhat a delightful thread!
Very well said, Thomas: “Many times, people talk but aren’t really communicating well”. Later on, I’ll look for a story to share before the New Year ✨✨ ✨ 🙏 Anita
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