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June 26, 2026 at 9:44 pm #458933
anitaParticipantConFused…
June 26, 2026 at 8:23 pm #458932anitaParticipantDear Thomas:
Reading your replies to Kris, I don’t see you attacking her, not at all.
You are a good man, Thomas and you don’t like conflicts and misunderstandings. Neither do I.
🙏 Anita
June 26, 2026 at 7:17 pm #458928anitaParticipantHey Dear Conused 🙂
Oh, yes, the electric bills! Here W. WA, the Evergreen 🌿🌿🌿🌿 State- electricity is very expensive.
The rain stopped for now. One of the interesting things living here is that at winter it gets totally dark at 5 pm, but in the summer.. not before 10 pm. I don’t like this part.
Maybe it’ll help if you check your feelings 3 times per day (at regular times) by Journaling it in a notebook (paper or electronic)?
🌿🌳🌿🌲 Anita
June 26, 2026 at 7:07 pm #458927anitaParticipantDear Thomas:
You did nothing wrong in your reply to Kris on the other thread, and you didn’t say anything that wasn’t generally true.
Kris’s anger is not about you, really. You did nothing wrong 🙂
June 26, 2026 at 2:46 pm #458921anitaParticipantHey 👋 Confused:
I read that it’ll get hotter in Germany this Sat & Sun and cool off early next week. I also read that AC units are not banned in Germany but installing such are regulated, got to get permits (can’t just buy one and install on your own). Glad you have an AC.
It got cooler here and it’s raining!
What you described, going out with friends, getting irritated, etc., you described the same before the med, so it may not be because of the med. I think it’d be a good idea for you to journal about how you feel every day so that you have a reliable record to show the psych in due time.
Keep cool, 🌿🌿🌿 Anita
June 25, 2026 at 9:17 pm #458906anitaParticipantThinking about you this Fri am your time, wondering how your GF is doing in the ongoing heat wave in Germany (I’m guessing it’s refreshingly cooler early in the morning)?
I read it’s cooler in Greece, but still hot?
How is Confused this Fri morning?
🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥 Anita
June 25, 2026 at 11:08 am #458895anitaParticipantDear Kris:
I’m really glad you came back and shared this. Your anger makes complete sense — it’s what happens when someone has been carrying fear, disappointment, and loneliness for a long time without anyone really seeing the depth of it.
Being ghosted hurts, especially when you already have that old voice in your head telling you you’re unlovable or “too much.” Anyone in your situation would feel frustrated and discouraged. Nothing about your reaction is wrong or embarrassing. It’s human.
Your anger isn’t a sign that you’re broken. It’s a sign that you’ve been hurt. You grew up with people who criticized your feelings instead of comforting you, and that leaves a mark. When your sister told you that you’re “too angry” or that you need to “fix yourself,” she wasn’t seeing you — she was repeating the same pattern that made you the family scapegoat. That voice in your head isn’t the truth. It’s an echo of how you were treated.
Dating is especially hard when you’ve been taught to doubt your worth. Every ghosting feels personal, and every disappointment feels like proof of something being wrong with you, even though nothing is wrong with you. You’re not doomed. You’re someone who wants connection and hasn’t had enough experiences yet to counter the painful messages you grew up with. That doesn’t mean your future is fixed. It just means you’re hurting right now.
You’re trying — you’re putting yourself out there, you’re going to events, you’re opening yourself to possibilities even when it scares you. That takes courage. And it tells me you’re not someone who’s “meant to be alone.” You’re someone who’s been carrying a lot of fear and shame without enough support. You deserve gentleness, not criticism — especially from yourself.
A🌿💛 Anita
June 24, 2026 at 11:51 pm #458892anitaParticipantUnloved not because I was unlovable.
Unloved because the one who was supposed to love me- was incapable of loving.
And there was nothing I could have done to make her capable, or willing. That ship (her incapability) had sailed before I was born.
I lived a whole life believing I was unlovable: a personal tragedy.
Now, I know that I am lovable. It makes me smile this Wed night, so close to midnight.
Good night
June 24, 2026 at 8:41 pm #458885anitaParticipantI think that you should tell the psych about the “rush, a wave of panic” you felt today. Maybe make a note of how you feel every day so that you can accurately report to him in 2 weeks.
I am impressed that GF was affectionate with you during a heat wave 🔥🔥🔥
Being a🌙🦉 makes sense during a heat- wave, doesn’t it?
🌿🌿🌿 Anita
June 24, 2026 at 8:33 pm #458884anitaParticipantHey 🌿 Confused:
Your 1st message is on page 104 and the 2nd on page 105, and because I’m using my phone and can’t open a 2nd window, I’ll answer the first here, and the second next.
I am listening to the news about the heat wave in Europe. At least 40 people drowned trying to cool off in lakes, rivers and such. I understand your GF sufferring, but glad she was able to laugh nonetheless.
How’s the weather in Greece? Do you (or GF) have ACs? I don’t and during the only heat wave I experienced here since I moved here in 2013 (summer 2021) I filled in the bath with cold water and kept soaking in it every hour or so, plus using ice packs in- between.
You say you don’t remember if you were scared when your father threatened plenty of times that he’d leave. Considering how very attached you were to him (you shared that you were), it’d make sense that you were not indifferent to his threats, at least not in the first few times that he threatened.
Your 🧠 doesn’t remember but your body remembers: “Heart racing, body heat rising” (yesterday).
Two more weeks (SSRI) and report back to him makes sense.
Anita
June 24, 2026 at 2:50 pm #458879anitaParticipantThank you, Thomas 🙏 I wish you the same ✨🌿🤍😊, Anita
June 23, 2026 at 8:50 pm #458867anitaParticipantHey 👋 Confused:
You getting “scared shi*less” when you couldn’t reach your father, and making scenarios about him being hurt, fits with you being scared of losing your GF.
When you were a child and your parents fought and he left, were you afraid he’ll never come back?
As a child, I used to be terribly afraid of losing my mother, afraid she’d be gone (she threatened that she will). I couldn’t sleep at nights. Seems like for a child, losing a parent, remaining alone, is a terrible, terrible feeling.
Do you remember feeling scared of losing your father back then, when Confused was a kiddo- Confused?
Anita
June 23, 2026 at 9:19 am #458846anitaParticipantDear Thomas 🙂
Reading your words- that breaking free from those chains that bind us to our past is worth at any age feel validating and comforting this Tuesday morning 🙏
I would say that those chains, for me, were early-life undeserved and ongoing SHAME, GUILT and SELF-DOUBT.
I also like what you wrote today on another thread: that expeiencing the truth about ourselves is the goal, and that this experience leads to wisdom and compassion.
When I experience the truth about myself- that I was not a shameful, guilty and cognitively faulted child (not thinking right, misinterpreting reality)- then I am able to have compassion for myself and for others, and develope wisdom.
Loving myself (practicing compassion for myself) and loving others are two sides of the same coin.
Reading from you, Thomas, has become a better and better experience over time. You have a lot to offer and I appreciate you being here 🙏
🌿 Anita
June 22, 2026 at 7:25 pm #458835anitaParticipantHey ✨️ Confused:
Maybe that dream was about you practicing loyalty to your girl, when you come across other attractive women in the future. In that case, well done ✔️ 👍
The idea of the two of you building a brand new dental clinic makes me smile (and it reminds me that I need my teeth cleaned if I want to look as good as this: 😁)
“Nowadays I feel nothing in the thought of loss of love”- 👍 ✔️.
“Because I don’t like it any other way, I think I’m not enjoying life otherwise”- you mean you don’t like or enjoy life unless you’re perfect? 🤔
“I’m trying to be delicate and it’s good so far”- ✔️👍✔️
“Passion for anything is pretty much absence”- when videocalling most recently, when you wanted to kiss her, etc., wasn’t that passion 🔥?
✔️ 🌿 👋 Anita
June 22, 2026 at 4:41 pm #458830anitaParticipantHey Confused: I will answer inabout 3 hrs
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