Hello devesh tiwaro 🙂

We talked last year in March in your first thread. At the time, you felt stuck in a relationship with your girlfriend of 9 years (while having multiple casual relationships with other women), and you wanted to break free from her while feeling guilty and conflicted.

You wanted to leave your country and explore different women and different places.

Fast forward a year and a few months, and you’re feeling stuck in your life: stuck in your city, stuck with your people.

You said: ” I have some financial burden, some family responsibilities.”

And you asked: “If I go to another location without any plan, another country, city, will it be a good idea or not?”-

I am wondering if you have been told from an early age (as a boy) that you have to financially support your parents in their older age, that you have to put your young life on hold (to sacrifice your needs, particularly your need to be free), so to fulfill.. family responsibilities?

🤔 Anita

Hey Eva:

The things you’re describing — the urge to text him, the spiraling thoughts when you see him, the self‑blame, the fantasies about his future, even missing the affection that wasn’t consistent — these are signs of how overwhelmed your nervous system still is after a relationship that kept you in a constant state of uncertainty.

When someone has been in a bond where they were never really chosen, the body doesn’t just let go because the relationship ended. It keeps reaching for what was familiar, even if that familiar thing hurt.

When affection is rare, inconsistent, and unpredictable, the brain clings harder, searching for the next “reward,” which intensifies longing, self‑blame, and obsessive thoughts after the breakup (the addiction) You’re reacting to a long period of emotional deprivation and confusion.

What helps now is not forcing yourself to “stop” these reactions but offering yourself small moments of grounding when they appear — reminding yourself that your body is reacting to the history you had with him — the uncertainty, the emotional deprivation, the intermittent affection.

None of this means he was the right person or that you lost something irreplaceable. It means your heart is still unwinding from a relationship where you carried all the emotional weight alone. With time, these waves soften, and your system learns safety again.

Anita (with the help of AI)

Hey Dear Confused 🙂

Seems like you’re giving up on psych meds for now, and by the time she visits you, the med will be out of your system.

All I can say, at this time, is that maybe if you make peace with everything that you feel and everything that you don’t feel; if you stop hoping or expecting to feel this or that.. that change of mindset can help. A lot. Says I.

🌿🌿🌿 Anita

Hello Numero Uno ScottyDye 🙂

I feel your rebellious spirit, and it inspires me!

I also want to rebel this Mon night, the day after Independence Day: rebel against people who are quick to judge others just because it makes them feel superior, or righteous. I declare my independence from their judgements!

But enough about me. This thread is about you. 👏👏👏 for carving your own independent way in life, step by step. Every step counts, and this thread is a step forward.

✨️✨️✨️ Anita

Peace begins right here ✨️✨️✨️

Hey Hey Hey Confused 🙂

I can hear how much you don’t like feeling disconnected. That kind of numbness can happen with stress or medication changes, and I really hope your psych can help you with it — he’s the right person to support you with these symptoms.

Your girlfriend’s need for reassurance is normal, and your numbness doesn’t mean you don’t care. It just means you’re overwhelmed right now.

Your caring 🤍 hasn’t disappeared — it’s just muted by what you’re going through.

🌿🤍🌿🤍 Anita”

Hey ScottyDye:

I am sorry to read about your situation (and your brother’s) 😔

I noticed that the only person who sometimes leaves the house is your mother (“going out with friends/ boyfriend”) while your grandmother is bed ridden, your brother “never leaves his room” and you “NEVER leave.. NEVER go out and do anything”.

Everything you described points to a depressing household indeed. And seems like you’ve been your grandmother’s caretaker, in practice.

I hope you do leave very soon, just plan ahead a bit, find community resources to help you beyond a homeless shelter. Maybe a shelter that supervisrs communal living and provides emotional support..?

Anita