Yes, Alessa, both computers are down. A new cable has been ordered.

Not Bogary”s fault, of course, didn’t the place beagle proofed. Not his fault. Got him all kinds of bones from the store to chew on. Getting the place beagle proofed is overwhelming.

Sorry for spelling mistakes, I should use my glasses.

Good thing at night he is safe in the bedroom. Obviously I failed to supervise him during the day, but good thing he wasn’t harmed (he could have, chewing a computer cabl??? Ir never occurred to me that he could.

You are up very early, Alessa, and maybe you didn*t sleep yet..?

In whichever case, SO GOOD to read from you at this quiet, quiet,
Time. A familiar, friendly, kind voice.

Dear Alessa:

Using my phone, not having access to the second computer until tonight or tomorrow morning. I like your message very much and will reply further by tomorrow. Hoping tomorrow will be a better day for you (meds) and me

💙🩵🤍 Anita

Dear Tee:

Thank you for your words regarding Bogart. Because he grew up with dozens of dogs, I am sure that, like human siblings, different dogs take on different roles or personality to fit in the group.

“The narcissist thrives on diving people against each other… At home, the narcissist divides family members against each other (e.g. one sibling against the other), and I think the goal is to weaken others and make themselves stronger and superior… the need to dominate and put down others remains the same…”-

Someone asked me a couple of days ago, if I’ll regret not talking to my mother before she dies, and I said that I’d be too afraid to talk/ see her. There was a lot of dissociation that went into being around her, seeing her or talking with her over the decades.

Since I haven’t been in any contact with her for about 12 years, and I’ve been significantly healing recently, I am no longer dissociated, so the FEAR of her- I FEEL it. It’s real and intense.

Even in the most physically weak state, she WILL divide me and turn me against.. me, weakening me in this way, which is her life legacy in my life (self-division, disintegration, dissociation, chronic shame and guilt)

“Yes, I think giving yourself love is really important. A self-hug is good, or when you feel the craving for love that you wrote 2 days ago, to give your inner child that love. To communicate with her and tell her ‘I’m here for you, sweetie, I love you, I’ll protect you’, or whatever words you prefer to use.”-

I needed to hear these words just now, thank you, Tee!

About that LOVE ME longing post from yesterday, similar to other such posts in the past (and more to come), it’s the undoing of dissociation work as part of my healing; going back in time and having the dissociated, silent inner child SPEAK.

“So, if LGA starts feeling that emptiness and craving again, to be there to soothe that craving. I think that might be at least as powerful as affirmations. To figuratively pick up your inner child, take her into your arms and soothe her, letting her know you’ll never leave her..”-

In this stressful day of mine (destroyed my computer, a financial strain; and the responsibility of having Bogart feeling heavy and the cold), I need to do just that 🙏 🙏 🙏

“I’m sorry to hear about your cold. I hope it will ease up soon… perhaps stay inside (specially if it’s rainy and no sunshine), to help you recover more quickly 🤞”- interestingly, I felt better after taking a walk yesterday.

“Take good care of yourself!”- Thank you, you too!!!

ood care of yourself!

🤍 🫶 🙏 🤍 Anita