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anitaParticipantHey ScottyDye:
I am sorry to read about your situation (and your brother’s) 😔
I noticed that the only person who sometimes leaves the house is your mother (“going out with friends/ boyfriend”) while your grandmother is bed ridden, your brother “never leaves his room” and you “NEVER leave.. NEVER go out and do anything”.
Everything you described points to a depressing household indeed. And seems like you’ve been your grandmother’s caretaker, in practice.
I hope you do leave very soon, just plan ahead a bit, find community resources to help you beyond a homeless shelter. Maybe a shelter that supervisrs communal living and provides emotional support..?
Anita
anitaParticipantThank you, ScottyDye. I’ll reply to you further in your new thread.
anitaParticipantHi again, Eva 🙂
But you didn’t lose your sense of self. You advocated for yourself all along. It’s just that he can’t or won’t listen. And you’re right, a lot of men out there are emotionally unavailable.
You’ve been very attached to him, emotionally, so separating from him is very difficult for you. It would be for anyone so attached. Try to calm yourself (look up/ use mindfulness or grounding techniques)?
In the future, maybe sooner than later, when you meet men for a possible relationship/ marriage, you can sort of interview them and find out about their emotional availability/ attachment style before getting emotionally invested yourself.
Yes, indeed, you deserve to be cherished ✨️.
The way I’ve experienced this world, true love is hard to come by. You’re not alone, and you have what it takes ( intelligence, insight, courage and perseverance) to find true love 👍👍👍
🌿✨️🌿 Anita
anitaParticipantHey Dear Confused:
“What else did it improve?”- you sounded calmer, more clearly thinking.
“Adding other people’s experiences don’t really help.”- you mean her (GF’s) experience? Can you elaborate?
“I can’t even get sad… I can’t feel good while laughing anymore either”- you mean right now/within the hour/today? Since yesterday?
And again, trying to force feelings backfires.
Anita
anitaParticipantHey Confused 👋 🙂
You sound so very mentally healthy in the 2nd and 3rd paragraph of your recent post, that (I’m thinking): if the SSRI made it possible, I’m all for you not tapering off!
Besides, 10 days ago, yes, you felt nice, crying.. but you still do, just not all of the time.
And 10 days ago, you didn’t feel nice, etc., all of the time either. You felt plenty of apathy back then.
I think that your memory gets.. Confused, you remembering a moment (of feeling) as if it happened all of the time, and dismiss the improvements you’ve experienced with the med because the improvement does not happen all of the time.
(Black- and-white, all- or- nothing thinking)
Bogart is eating a rib bone right now, 4th of July leftover.
🌿✨️🌿 Anita
anitaParticipantINCONVENIENCE
anitaParticipantHi, hello, hi Eva 🙂
“Was I actually asking for too much?”-
No, not at all, not objectively. It’s only that asking more from someone not able or not willing to give more, is.. well, unwise.
Like asking for water to gush out of a rock, something like that.
He called your legitimate needs and feelings “too much…dramatic… bullshit and nagging” simply because your valid, human needs and feelings INCONVWNIENCE him.
I am guessing he’d kind of get along, superficially, with a woman with no needs and no feelings other than those he’s okay with, a self-erased woman.. one whose been erased (repressed and suppressed) before meeting him, or one who’ll quickly adjust to him by erasing herself.
That’s my honest outside perspective 🙂
🌿✨️🌿 Anita
anitaParticipantGood morning, Roberta 🙂
Thank you for your kind message. It brought a smile to my face when I first read it, and the smile is still lingering. I value the way you express connection — through simple, everyday gestures like imagining a walk or a cup of tea. It’s a warm and grounded way of being present. I just imagined having a cup of (coffee) with you and chatting.
Still smiling Anita
anitaParticipantGood night, ScottyDye and grandmother 🌙✨😴🌿
anitaParticipantHappy 250th 4th of July, ScottyDye. I hope you enjoyed the good food you mentioned on the other thread.
Here, sitting in the sunroom, finally dark, I can clearly hear loud fireworks ✨️✨️✨️✨️✨️✨️ outside, 10 pm. The night is young.
Anita
anitaParticipantQ: The feeling of love- what does it mean?
A: The Desire to Connect.
In a way that Values me and Values you.
To C.O.N.N.E.C.T.
See me, Hear me, Feel what’s in my heart.
Don’t want 2 B ALONE.
.. I am not Alone. Within me, I am connected.
Because gone is the chronic, lifelong shame and guilt.
And what’s left is what was always there: a human’s desire to connect with you.
🌿✨️🌿 Anita
anitaParticipantGood 4th Eve 🎂
My celebration food was ribs & corn on the cob. And walked along the streets of downtown after the parade concluded. That’s all. Now hearing fireworks and expecting more late tonight.
I am not surprised she didn’t end it with you, and am glad she texted you 3 hours ago, so you don’t have to wait anymore.
How do you think what happened (that which caused her panic attacks/ overwhelmed her) can be prevented from happening again?
🌿✨️🌿 Anita
anitaParticipantGood 4th of July afternoon, Confused:
Copilot (remember him?) says: “In reality, people often stay active on social media while avoiding deeper conversations because social media requires zero emotional energy, while real connection requires a lot. Her being active online doesn’t mean she’s avoiding Confused — it means she’s doing something low‑effort while not having the capacity for a real interaction.”- makes sense?
I know it’s difficult for you to wait and give her space, but you’re doing it anyway, and that’s admirable. How are you managing the wait (other than checking her social media activity)?
🌿🌿🌿Anita
anitaParticipantGood morning, JB 🙂
“I just graduated and moved away a few days ago, and saying goodbye was surprisingly emotional”-
It’s no wonder you felt very emotional saying goodbye to the first community you felt genuinely connected to (the last two years of business school).
Business school being over and moving away from a community where one felt genuinely connected to is a huge change and would feel destabilizing for anyone.
There’s something else that crossed my mind as I read your original post this morning: some friendships groups are specific to a time and place and they don’t carry on beyond.
When business school ended, even before it ended, maybe everyone experienced a sense of loss, a difficulty saying goodbye. To make it easier, people may emotionally detach from the friends specific to the time and place, so to make it easier to move on to the next phase of life.
They may attach to the people who are now available to them. If you don’t have people close to you now, in the place you moved to only a few days ago, it’s no wonder you miss the last people you were close to.
Does this resonate, JB?
🌿🌿🌿 Anita
anitaParticipantGood 4th of July morning ✨️
Coming to think about it, 40% of people who do not experience sexual side- effects on SSRIs (including Prozac). That’s a lot of people on reddit, and those who do experience those side- effects may not feel like sharing that on reddit, embarrassed, maybe.
Sounds like, at times, she doesn’t feel worthy of you. I wondered about her autoimmune issue since you mentioned it. Maybe it causes her to feel depressed/ unworthy at times?
🌿🌿🌿 Anita
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