Hi 🌿🐺 SereneWolf:

I’m tired but fine — thank you for asking. And I have to say, it made me smile that exactly an hour & 5 minutes ago (by the time I submit this message), a 🌿🐺 from across the world submitted a post to me.

About my kind words — you’re welcome. They’re sincere. You’ve been consistently gracious and kind through the years, no matter what. That’s definitely a positively special 🐺🤍

What stood out to me most in your message was this:

“I don’t think I need more answers anymore. I think I just need to keep taking the next small step, even with uncertainty.”-

There’s more self‑trust in your tone now, less fear, and more clarity about your patterns. What you wrote shows real growth. Saying you don’t need more answers anymore — and that you’re willing to take small steps even without certainty — is a major shift from reassurance‑seeking.

And of course, it won’t always be smooth or easy — growth never is. But the way you’re facing uncertainty now shows real courage, and I believe these small steps you’re taking will keep opening the path forward. One small step at a time is enough 🙂

🌿 🌿 🌿 Anita

Hello again, Stephanie 🙂

You are very welcome and thank you for the update. I’m really sorry you’re dealing with so much instability around you. Sudden staffing changes, unclear decisions, and messages from leadership that don’t match your actual behavior would make anyone feel unsafe.

From what you describe, you are taking accountability: you acknowledge mistakes, correct them, and outline how you’ll prevent them going forward. It makes sense that being told you’re “not trustworthy” or “need to be told to do your job” would feel confusing and unfair when your actions show the opposite.

I’m glad you have coworkers who understand what’s happening and can share some humor to get through the days. I’m here, and I’m glad you reached out.

🌿✨️🌿 Anita

Dear Eva 🙂

What you’re describing sounds indeed like total exhaustion — the kind that happens when too many things fall apart and you’re left questioning everything. You’ve been dealing with failed relationships, friends who disappeared when you were honest, a family that treats you like the black sheep, and now an inner voice that says maybe you’re the problem.

Anyone would feel overwhelmed in that mix.

When life hits from so many directions, the nervous system gets flooded and the future feels like a blank wall. What you’re feeling is what happens when you’ve been carrying too much without enough support. You’re in a transition, not a dead end.

You don’t have to solve your whole future at once — you just need one small, humane step at a time. And none of this means the problem is you. It means you’re tired, and you deserve gentleness, not judgment.

🌿🌿🌿 Anita

How are you, devesh tiwaro?

Thinking about you this Sat night, hoping You’re okay. Or better than okay. Glad you didn’t delete this thread. Hoping to read from you again 🙏

One more thing, Sisi: waiting for someone’s decision is one of the hardest places to be when you’re attached to that person. While you’re in this in‑between space, please be gentle with yourself. Nothing is decided yet, and your fear isn’t proof of guilt — it’s just fear. I’m here with you while you wait.

Sisi: “I do have this tendency to… not want to disappoint people… because I’ve been told I’m too sensitive, too this and that, and therefore it makes me lost in tough situations”-

Having been told that you’re too this and too that, delivered the message, did it not: that your perceptions and evaluations of situations is not reliable,

As in, you can’t rely on yourself to know what’s really going on?

And so, you give your power away to others (who may be.. too self- centered, too distracted, too mis- attuned to you)- to decide what’s right and wrong, what’s appropriate, what’s not, giving them the authority that belongs to you?

And you end up trying to please and appease them?

If this really is the way it’s been for you ( alongside the process of finding your own voice and asserting yourself),

Then I can very much relate. In fact, I can’t think of anyone I know in real- life, or in the forums here, who had given their authority and agency away more than I have.

If this resonate, I can share more and we can explore this further.

🌿🌿🌿 Anita

Good Sat morning ( here), Sisi ✨️

I am going to reply at more length a bit later, but for now, I see a gap between Objective Reality and Subjective Reality:

However emotionally close you felt to him, even seeing having a family with him- the objective reality seems to be that there was never an exclusive boyfriend- girlfriend relationship.

Instead (and while he was under the influence of alcohol), he asked for (a temporary) sexual exclusivity.

So, when you kissed another guy, objectively:

* You didn’t betray a boyfriend.

* YYou didn’t betray an exclusive bf-gf relationship.

What you did, was.. what’re the words.. you put a pause on a sexual-exclusivity agreement that was temporary to begin with.

Subjectively, you reacted to this very minor “offense” as if you committed a crime.

Personally, now that I see a bigger picture ( following reading the latest posts), I see no offense at all.

“No, we’re not boyfriend and girlfriend”, you wrote a bit more than 3 hours ago- here it is: Objective Reality.

When you don’t have a boyfriend, kissing another guy is not an offense.

A non- boyfriend doesn’t have a moral or ethical right to ask for, or expect, sexual exclusivity, except for the purpose of protecting oneself from STDs, I am thinking.

What are you thinking, Sisi?

(More later).

🌿🌿🌿 Anita