We can analyze and analyze and analyze – if we have the time. We find our analysis goes in circles or branches off into subsets – all this can be interesting and it all takes time and energy. But the most important question is – are your sons needs being met?  If not then that’s where to start.

If they are the  next question is – are the needs of the relationship being met? What’s expected, what’s needed, what’s hoped for? If not then that’s where to start. Most people forget a relationship is a living being in its own right, and it includes negotiating personal desires, personal dreams, children – and the chores! A relationship is based on negotiation so each person knows their rights and responsibilities, without that you have a mess or manipulation.

If they are the next question is – are my needs being met – what hopes do I still have, do I ever get to do what I enjoy?

So having children and a relationship really is a state of giving yourself – and each person in the relationship has to be willing to do this – child first, relationship second, then self – the percentages are for you to choose but 33.3% seems healthy for each.

Or you can analyze some more.