Anita,

Please let me know what you think.

After much consideration, I think that I need to move out. I cant live in the same home as she moves on with her life. I need to begin my healing process. Living with her and not being able to express my love is going to be agony. I think it sounds selfish but I can’t sit by and watch as she leaves my life.

Anita,

My wife and I had a discussion of arrangements yesterday. We talked about finances, kids schedules, living arrangements and so on.

She told me Monday that she wasn’t sad about her decision to move forth with the separation. However she started to cry during our talk yesterday were we discussed our living arrangement until our lease is up and that we would both go our seperate ways when its over. Obviously we would still have to talk and be a part of each other’s life’s for the kids.

Seeing her cry when talking about living separately and the end goal to be a divorce made me think that she does care. That she doesn’t want to do this but that she needs to in order to move forward and begin her healing process.

I desperately hope for a chance at reconciliation but I’m fearful that there isn’t and I don’t know if I should continue to hope for that.

I’ve been thinking about the talk her and I had and my conclusion is that living together may be a bad idea. It’s going to slow both of our healing processes. I dont want to accidentally find out that she started dating someone new or something else that means that she’s gone forever because it’ll feel like my heart is being crushed again.

Please know that I dont blame her at all for my broken heart. I understand why she’s doing this but it doesn’t make this any easier.

Anita,

1. I don’t think she failed as a wife. I honestly never thought about it though. I wanted to be better for her.

2. She told me that if I could do the things that she was needing from me then our marriage would in turn change and make her more loving toward me and make her happier. She got tired of putting in effort and not receiving anything back.

3. She is far superior in terms of communicating. Although I did feel at times my points weren’t seen or heard when I did say something but I attributed that to bad timing on communicating my feelings because I would usually try to do it when when she was opening up to me.

4. The depression came from a lack of friends in my life outside of immediate family. I still don’t have many friends but I have one who I usually do something with every couple of weeks.

5. She said that she’s tired of feeling like she did something wrong and the feeling of being alone. That I had no reason to give attitude when things were out of her control.

-rob