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March 31, 2020 at 5:47 am in reply to: Pandemic special: Is my friend competitive or am I insecure? #346366AnnaParticipant
This is sooooo helpful to hear from other people — my gut was saying things to me. Sometimes I’m not sure if I should listen to it 🙂March 30, 2020 at 1:16 pm in reply to: Pandemic special: Is my friend competitive or am I insecure? #346236AnnaParticipant
I really appreciate your responses, my initial reaction is to do things like cut it short, to let her know I”m not into discussing it with her. I can’t figure out why she feels such a need to keep emphasizing how awesome and amazing her relationship is going; they are getting married, so obviously that’s a total success! I’ve never said anything but ‘great!’ or ‘congrats’ to her, or shown any jealous behavior.
It really does feel like she HAS to bring it up, I NEVER initiate any conversations about my relationship ever with her. It’s always the same pattern.
I think you guys are right, although it’s very hard to admit.
And she might be right! maybe I AM wasting my time on the person. Maybe I AM really not asking for what I really want. But I feel like a friend should really support you, even if you’re doing things they wouldn’t do themselves. To just BE THERE.
But like you say I don’t want to pressure anyone, children take a lot of time with these new situations (new boyfriend) and I certainly don’t want my relationship decided by the time-sensititve dynamic that this pandemic brings into play.
If we’re really meant to be, he will be there after all of this. I can’t say ‘move in now before we’re quarantined’ is a great reason to marry or be with anyone….my last relationship ended up with cohabitation because we were together and my man got in an arguement with my neighbor so I want my next big relationship to be more about ‘I LOVE YOU let’s be together, etc’.
Anyway thank you for your thoughts!! Peace 🙂