I appreciate your reply

I can maybe analyze myself in the future!

She’s off to see her mother so I told her to have a safe flight. She just replied thanks.

Then I told her to let me know when she got there and to tell her mom hi.

Message was ignored or shes just concentrated on her mom

Her dad passed away 2 months ago and we broke up 5 weeks ago. I kind of did the confession and ask her to go some of her travel and then I broke down and cried and asked her if she needs
Someone she has me for her dad

Okay, so I have 2 questions;

1. Why do you think the past 2, serious, long distance relationships didn’t work out?

2. I want you to self-reflect carefully, listen to your heart about this, but what exactly is that have been making you cry during this breakup?

After sending many voice messages she says this

well, okay, that took me like 2h to go through all of your voice messages while eating dinner and chilling with my mom & doggo…

And I kinda got lost.
Did you ever find your answer to Q2? If not it’s okay, cause it is a question that could take time – I’m asking you to think real hard about it.
I guess from my side the intent of asking that was because I wonder if you kept crying out of disappointment – to you/the breakup/anything else, or being afraid of loosing something and if so what that is.

What do I respond and is it appropriate to send this?

She’s now with her mother at her hometown. Should I wait to tell her my confession after a few days? It was it meant to be there at the last conversation?

We talked for like 6 hrs and stayed silent for the last hour because we were both tired and sleepy. I kind of wanted to give on last plea. Like say I wanna call you everyday from now on. Be there for you. But I didn’t because I didn’t wanna push it. I don’t know how she feels. 3 times I went and visited her when she was working like crazy and prioritized my own fun and enjoyment. I kept getting shot down while we were speaking

I felt like she was opening up toward the end.or maybe she was giving me last goodbye. She said it could have worked but I wanted to hear from her mouth that it would have never worked out. And then I took that role. I said that because I wanted us to admit it.

Idk if that messed it up. She was really cold and quiet. idk what that means. Wasn’t chatting too much but might have been just relaxing and playing her mobile game like she always does or reading stuff. If I have any regrets it’s not making a final plea to change and do better and maybe not say the relationship was always doomed to fail. She kind of ignored that

I’m so nervous, it’s gonna happen soon

Yes. Mostly boss and client, because right now we are offline, people have less to do and have their eyes open more and will pinpoint more including my boss since he under supervision a bit these days.

Yeah I like it cuz its flexible and relatively chill and slower paced with more monitoring more than anything and the computers do most of the work. I dont eat well cuz im gone days at a time and my sleep schedule goes from night to day shift and back to day with a week break in between. That cant be good for the body long term.

Yes I am worried about the boredom and freedom lost. I know it seems very lazy but thats who im currently am. I still need to ask about Vacation and how frequently we can take it.

This is a step career wise but I feel like this is job u take years down the road when u have a family and need stability. I dont want to look for another job, I want the next or current job I have to be my last.

I have tried giving it some thought and I wonder if the childish arrogance in me is being pessimistic. I also leave for a trip, which idk if the new job is cool with altho Ive stated twice I was taking. Would be 2.5, almost the same amount of time I would ask to renounce my current job. I just feel nervous. I just hope this trip can provide more guidance as to the type of life I can be. I feel like I cant do a job more than 3 years without changing. Idk how much currently this job would entertain or be beneficial to me but yeah I only see myself max 2-3 doing this. I wanted to work up to the job I applied for but like I said its bacteria not that much chemistry and its super simplistic while this job altho ez, sometimes can be really easy and I like it about it and I enjoy it cuz its easy. I have to like what Im doing, Thanks for listening Hellcat!

Why do we fear change? I got so used to this lifestyle, although the schedule of 7 on days 7 off and then 7 on nights and the 7 days off is not good for ones health. I know this job like the back of my hand and I really enjoy it because it deals with more innovative and interesting chemicals and the other deals with more bacteria and its straight forward. Ugh, why…. the govt job gives u a life lon pension. I would only have to work a month extra for 20 years if that to achieve that

I am definitely a one person type of guy so I can understand where things went wrong. The problem I have is that everyone is telling me to stop talking to her and I agree with them, I want to move on. I didn’t even say happy birthday to her. She didn’t mention it but she picked up a gift. As long as we keep communicating I’ll always think I have a chance. The problem is I try to ignore and she doesn’t text unless she’s spoken to. I already told her I cannot be work text buddy, I cannot give her any attention. I already asked her 3 times out and she made excuses and the other guy is doing stuff with her. So then I can’t keep talking to her like she can just do that. I’m trying to do no contact but when I feel sad I always try to talk to her again like 3days of no talking as of late. At this point unless he messes up, I don’t think she will meet up with me which is why I wanted to move on but my busy work schedule has impeded me from this and the new women I am talking to have deleted apps or straight up told me they don’t feel a connection because I’m not really putting the best effort and it’s taking time to be myself. Even finding a rebound would be ideal because it would be a much needed distraction and could turn into something special. The thing is that one wasn’t interested and I was okay with that but the other was pretty cute but the conversation fell apart because I was too busy with work and she deleted the app. So this is why I feel sad I gave the wrong one my contact info. I should be making an effort to move on. But I’m also buying a house so everything is super raw and I can’t put in my all now. I like a certain type of women and the more I think about it, the least type of women I can find out Here sadly especially with two potential women deleted and not interested it makes me doubt my choice to stay here cuz I Also am searching for that life partner! Any input is appreciated. I wish things just ended nicely and was honest with her feelings so I wouldn’t feel hatred and wanting to cut her off. She disssed me that much is true

Hi Helcat,

To an extent yes. We had a good thing going but because I didnt establish anything even tho it felt like gf and bf, she felt like crap, she wasnt feeling it anymore for about a month and I argued at times and that kind of behavior triggered her past abusive relationship. The fact that I did two solo trips asking her to come but our interest werent aligning and her just taking no for an answer when she didnt ask more than once to go to the movies (very vague) led her to just go out with someone else and feel the infatuation she feeels whenever she probably meets a new person. we kept talking it out and maybe that pushed her away, i gave her space but even tho we had great chemistry, she keeps seeing the new guy and ive asked another time to go to a cafe and she said she has work. She pretends to act interested and then says she has to do something else. At this point it just seems like ive put myself out there again, even vibing and trying to fight for her attention when I never was introduced to any of her friends and i worked hard to build a relationship, whether romantic or platonic that she doesnt value. She is just drifting further away and it just seems like even our great chemistry and joking ways that she was attracted to arent even gonna last to be  a frienship. like i barely ask to hang out and she is making excuses or already has plans with him. I can only try so much. I am also just slowly talking to other ppl. A person with her background that can change her world around that quickly is dangerous, just cuz she was in abusive relationship she isnt entitled to just push her bitch ways to other ppl. It isnt revenge.  and people arent pawns. If she had just told me her feelings were over and saw another person it would have been fine.

Seems like she had planned this out because this type of thing doesnt happen overnight. She just did it the minute i left town. At this point i dont know what to say but just that she can make time for everyone else but me. Whichis sending a clear message, that she was ready to lose me as a friend and or/partner the moment she went out with someone else. I have to tell her how it is regardless if she thinks its agressive, At this point, it isnt some fling, she just is disrescpecting me as a preson. And she can do whatever she likes but literally its sad how easily she was able to throw it away.  I know I am hugely at fault, I called her pain by not making her #1 in her eyes and her confidence wavered and she might have felt triggered at times. But if cant communicate these things, the cycle will repeat itself; people arent psychics. I am someone who can read ppl pretty well but women are different breed and can mask their emotions very well at times. Thanks for listening, cheers