I appreciate your answers Peggy. And for taking the time to write a response. I dont think people have 4 year relationships without being able to communicate and pick up on their partner’s habits. I do feel like I can pick up on a person’s vibes and can read their body language… but the two times I have attempted to interact with introverts on a more intimate level, I have encountered much difficulty in reading them. I should rephrase. They were introverts who don’t display their emotions visually or through facial or body expressions. They seem nonchalant and indifferent on most things. You can’t tell what they are thinking cuz they might be spacing out or not 100 in this world? They have identical reactions to different things and that makes them difficult to read. I am an ex extrovert gone 75% introverted because I like my own company and when presented with being social, I have no problem. My tone might sound smug or cocky but this is the reality. And it’s because of their poor social skills. I was very understanding. But Making people wait hrs while not alerting them and holding a grudge comment over the course of 3 months and letting issues that bothered roll over and never address them shows poor communication skills. And relationships don’t work out if theres no communication. So I know why things failed

Because problems become bigger because they aren’t addressed. She held everything in. How do i know that my comment bothered her when her reaction was pretty much no reaction. So my question is why not address issues even within a week of happening. No communication, no worky. Ofc i had my faults but I was pretty patient. If this was someone i didnt care about i would not tolerate waiting 3 hrs for an arrival. If i didn’t have as much free time (i was part time at the time) then i wouldn’t hace3 tolerated it either. I did care for her, she gained my heart i grew close to her family pets and helped her try to get a better job because she always claimed she wished she had a better job. We both had our ghosts of our pasts. I was treating her with the affection and attention that my ex gf of 4yrs desired and criticized me for and my recent gf (now ex) projected her ex’s asshole behavior to me without realizing it. Maybe she felt guilt. She said that her ex would call her to the city 40 min away AND make her wait hours and then send her HOME and cancel plans. This happened several times to her. With me she never cancelled plans but she did make me wait. I was understanding of her and accepted it. Addressed it a few times. She might have seen it as me telling her what to do. The point is the analysis was there. It could have been easily solved and worked together. This is what I think. I was trying to find reason as to why things didn’t work out and the answer is in the above statements and in the lack of communication. Plain and simple. It’s just hard when something takes a 180. And very little explanation is given. It’s hard to adjust so quickly IMO so i just blame myself harshly but I can see now that we were just living in our past and were clicking fine until our ghosts were annoying the other.

• This reply was modified 5 years, 2 months ago by Alecsee.

It was on her computer. The resume. But i know what u mean!

When i am saying she didnt adress the issue i mean like, saying she doesnt want to have sex all the time, saying that having a lot of tatoos in the future bothered her ( she asked what would I think if a person has a lot of tattoos and or a big tattoos and I said that I’m not really attracted to a lot of tattoos, or at leasy i dont think so) why not address that the day I said that not two months later when she was holding everything in? Stuff like that. I listen but how can i know i am making mistakes if im not told? I like communicate things like this. It helps couples grow. But i think its a bit unfair being slammed with things that bothered her all at once. When they could be addressed at that moment or that day or even that week. Also i did say my ex was always willimng to make love she was too but those words bothered her. I don’t appreciate it and I don’t think it’s fair that two months later I am finding these things out. Its frustrating really. And like I said I think I have a good read on most people but with introvert in with people that are more quiet and don’t express your feelings as much I tend to struggle reading them

I think i have been trying to be more understanding and I have a addressed those issues. Those waits arent common, and i am always at my house just doing stuff so she knows and has improved. Ive known her for awhile as friends (1 yr texting and seeing her at work and talking) she works in the food business.

I just dont think shes a do-er. She said she really wanted to move in but ended up bailing out. It was kind of her idea. She was offered a family place but felt it would be her dad hunting her down. She brought it up a lot and talked about it. Then I did, and I said think about it and brung it up too. Then she felt pressured to do it. She said she wants a different job but has only kind of applied to places where friends can get her in.

I think with her she needs a push. But maybe too much encouragement, push, makes her back away. Or shut down. I only called like twice but then she says she just starting to back away and need space.

Maybe these were always issues but shes wasnt mature enough or courageous enough to let me know. Anyways this discussion is definitely helping! Thanks

My anger part got deleted but ill recap it. Basically this was a small mini argument, and it arose from me missing two crucial texts. However, i think she was feeling down those days. But i told her i was going to be busy. And i wasnt going to come over cuZ i just wanted to watch those things. It was during her period so maybe she started thinking that we only hang out for sex. So she says she doesnt like how she looks and i tried to tell her nice things to cheer her up. But the sex thing i can get but she was always coming over for it so now she feels used? Its confusing to me. With my ex, I was angry and very frustrated with my job but my ex hung on. Thata when i realized that it was love, at my worst, she didnt look away. If I had not taken that job, the relationship would have prospered, also it was long distance so yeah. Thank u guys!

My message must have not gone through…anyways the emotional outbursts are when i can’t take it and i start being aggressive and say that she doesn’t love him and that i want to live with her, marry her and have kids. Just saying stuff that makes her put her defenses up and causes argument. But it works. Her current boyfriend is moving fast  in the relationship and wants to take her with him in his International Job that he just got offered. I’m going to be crazy and then go try to propose to see if I can do anything. I love her too much to Let Her Go. If I failed at least I tried. At the end of the day I let her go so I must pay the consequences. And yes Steve the pain  sucks but you can get through it! I’m going to try my best cuz I cannot give up