I benefitted from the conversation between you both actually. 😊

Hi Tommy

You haven’t done anything wrong. There is nothing wrong with sharing your feelings. ❤️

James doesn’t seem hurt by it?

There is truth in all perspectives. ❤️

James will be James, Tommy will be Tommy. All are welcome here. You are both loved and appreciated. ❤️

Hi Everyone

I have a perspective if it is okay to share?

Perhaps if we don’t understand something it would be beneficial to ask questions? React with curiosity instead of fear? Or we can just say oh well it is something that I don’t understand right now, that happens sometimes in life. 🤷‍♀️

This place is not just for trauma, it is also for seekers. It is called TinyBudda.

Bear in mind that James is on his own thread. He is not going around on other people’s threads saying these ideas. They are only for the people interested in actively seeking them out. If they are not your cup of tea no one has to read them.

We think of emotions as if they are linked to the mind. But I noticed recently that they are a function of the body.

Historically, people have searched for threat because we needed to protect ourselves from predators. Like animals we needed to run or fight. The body has functions that help us to do this helping us to run faster, react more quickly or fight harder when we are in danger.

For people who have sensitive nervous system, say because of trauma stress can easily kick that mechanism into action. We think during these times planning for an emergency worst case scenario. It is what the body demands. But often there is no threat anymore. With C-PTSD, mostly just memories.

There are lots ways to calm the nervous system when stress triggers it. Breathing exercises. Singing. Walking. Shaking your body. Cold water. Stretching, massaging the head, neck and feet. Managing our basic needs helps us to regulate.

❤️

Hi Tee

Always happy to talk to you too! ❤️

No, not at all. It wasn’t you. I was just reflecting on some of the ways I’m not there for myself as much as I am for others and processing those feelings.

Yes, I would agree. I do need to work on self-compassion still. I’m trying my best. 😊

Ah well, I’m sure you’ve heard of the phrase saving face before. I think it’s basically about communicating with people without wounding their ego. There are some great techniques out there for when people disagree.

It’s basically validating how you can see why they have a perspective. Giving an example about how you or someone you know might have had a similar perspective. And then describe how you or someone you know came to change their perspective.

I think I’m going to write a post about belonging. ❤️

Thank you, I’ve found all of the conversations very insightful too. 😊

Hi Miss Duchess

Cool! Do you have any plans for your birthday?

You are right, it can feel harder to connect with people when there is nothing in common.

I’m sorry you feel excluded. ❤️

I’m glad that despite the pain of the past, you can see the silver lining in that it helps you to appreciate the good people you met in life. I feel like sometimes that is the way of life. Contrasting experiences help us to cherish the good experiences we do have.

That sounds understandable to still feel a bit awkward with it being your second session. How was the choir experience itself? Do you like singing?

I think you’re doing really well putting yourself out there! Already you have done a lot. You are determined. Keep at it! You deserve to find people that you connect with. ❤️

Hi Tee

Sorry, at first I didn’t realise that you’d left a message here. Then I had to process some emotions to figure out what to say. ❤️

I try my best, but it isn’t easy. Especially in person. Negative thoughts, fears can get in the way. It is hard work to try and stay calm.

That is kind of you to say. I’m glad that it’s been helping. 😊

I think being aware of when we’re not in our normal state of mind is half the battle.

Thanks. I’ve been learning from you too. I think you’re right in that I do let things lie too much sometimes. It is hard to balance. You inspired me to try for myself, as much as I try for other people. Perhaps give some people less? ❤️

I am honestly still learning and still make mistakes. Sometimes I retreat to process and understand my feelings. Figure out the best way to handle a situation?

I have been learning recently about saving face. It led to learning about some interesting communication techniques. I’ve also been learning about belonging. I think anxiety gets in my way a lot.

How are you doing? ❤️

I’m having fun foraging these days. I found an apple tree that is very similar to granny smith apples, but smaller. 🍏

The wild raspberries are much sweeter than store bought and brighter in colour. 😋

Sadly, the blackberry season is ending. I’m curious to try acorns for the first time. I collected some but haven’t prepared them yet because my son got stomach flu. 🤢

Poor thing! ❤️

It is lucky that the sunshine has been sticking around even though autumn is here. Every day is a bonus. 🍂 ☀️