Hi James

I feel like our physical bodies communicate love more easily than words.

Online, without a camera. It is harder to build trust.

Hearing a soft voice, seeing a caring look, feeling a comforting touch. These things do a lot to comfort people.

Love itself, oxytocin being triggered by skin to skin contact.

It is remarkable the things that it can do. Underdeveloped newborns need it to survive. When a child has a fever, it helps to regulate their temperature. It helps to promote relaxation and sleep.

I feel like it takes a lot more effort to communicate love, purely in words. I’m not so good at expressing myself because of culture. Stiff upper lip and all that. 😂

Interestingly, I read a study about murderers. Within the study they all had severe childhood trauma as well as co-occurring with either brain damage or autism.

Also, I read another study about people who fight as children. Their brains can become permanently damaged.

Not to mention, physical abuse itself can cause brain damage and dementia.

❤️❤️❤️

Hi Miss Dutchess

It is valid to not like the hazing style pranks. I wouldn’t either. I definitely grew out of some of this stuff in high school. It is a very American thing to do hazing in college. I don’t really understand it. A smart move on your part not doing anything illegal or dangerous!

In college we would play dumb games like punching each other in the arm when you see a yellow car or trying to trip each other up. Play fighting a little. But that was with friends. I didn’t mind it. One thing I didn’t like is when one of my friends singed my hair with fire. That wasn’t cool. Too far! Can you tell I hung out with boys?

When I was in primary school I got pushed off a high wall because I was afraid of heights and too scared to jump down. I only climbed up with the other kids because I didn’t want to get left behind. I didn’t like it, but I didn’t hold a grudge. They were just trying to hurry me up. Again a friend. I had a mean girl pretend I stole her stuff to try and get me in trouble.

I was tripped by a mean kid on concrete in gym class. I fell so hard and hit my head, I had a fit. He never apologised.

I had a boy harass me in high school to hide the fact that he was gay. He scrunched up my homework and ate it, which would have really upset me, except that day I had a spare copy. He also groped me in the hallway when he was passing. And took it too far when he sat next to me once in class touching me underneath the table and would not stop when I asked. I asked to be moved and the teacher said no.

I’m only telling you these experiences so you know that you are not alone. ❤️

You are not a friendless loser and tolerating things you are very upset by is not a good way to make friends. It is such a shame that you felt the need to do that. You must have felt very lonely to do go through things that made you so uncomfortable. ❤️

It is a shame that you never got the chance to explore pranks in a healthy way as a child that made you feel comfortable and sure that you weren’t being bullied. ❤️

Hi James

Thank you for sharing again. ❤️

Please forgive my musings. As I explained to Peter recently, when things are written and explained well. I have nothing to add, so I tend to tangent to expand the conversation and share a different perspective. ❤️

Your explanation on your other thread was helpful. The key being relax and trusting my body’s instincts for me. Very different from my mind’s instincts for me. ❤️

Muscle memory is a beautiful thing. It serves a function to free up mental space. But it is a time consuming process learning to master the body. For children it takes years.

Life is complicated and a marvel. Layers upon layers. All have a unique function.

Even thoughts. I see as energy. During meditation I have experienced them still to the point of subtle movement of the mind, gently stirring no longer marred by language. I noticed that the energy is present in the spine.

It would take so much to process everything as a fresh and new experience. The brain is not built for it. It is built to notice changes, form patterns and have a negative bias. Built to save energy, to protect, not catch a glimpse of things as they are.

❤️

Hi Yana

I worry that bringing up the past could be hurtful.

I know you don’t mean badly by it. ❤️

I think the difficulty with trauma is that it occurs so frequently. I don’t think it is overused, just under reported. As a community people are learning to finally speak out about it.

One of the difficulties with crime is the extremely high correlation with substance use. Alcohol and / or drugs. Most people are under the influence at the time of arrest. These things mess with boundaries and can easily lead to impulsive and harmful behaviour.

❤️

Hi Peter

Thank you for sharing. Beautiful writing as always! ❤️

Hmm honestly I think it varies.

For me, at the moment. Neither. A story might exist as a memory even when it is no longer true. Nothing wrong with memories. Maybe it will pass in time. But it is not such a bad thing.

Does it matter if we are free of stories? For me, it is not necessarily even choosing. Sure, some which meant actively redesigning my life I chose to change. Some just over time no longer apply. Some are as true as much as I believe in them. Not quite true. But it is hard to explain. Things can be untrue whilst believing in them. Then when you think about it, you go well actually… I guess that was just an assumption. Another story. Fickle things. 😂

I am the wrong person to ask this question of. 😂 I very much believe in fate. Buddhism would suggest that volition is the answer. We all have a degree of control in our lives. Otherwise, being calm helps me to see things more clearly.

Hmm I guess I don’t have the same attachment to words and thoughts.

I feel like they are very flexible. Maybe because I have being working hard on cultivating that?

Is something a story if you can consider different perspectives?

I will have to learn some more about continual prayer. I don’t really know much about it. Is that similar to mantra? I fear I may have gotten lost in the weeds again. ❤️

I guess, to explain my perspective. Memories and even perspective are not set in stone. You can live something and reflect. Reprocess the memory and consider it from different perspectives, heal the feelings attached to it. Everything changes.

Do you have any thoughts? ❤️

Another difficulty with this forum is the sensitive nature this space and the vulnerability of its users.