Hi Anita

Thank you! I like you too. 😊 I appreciate the sentiment. I just approach things from a different perspective. I’m not an island. I see other people’s needs as equal to my own. That doesn’t mean anything bad about your perspective though. Each has its merits, but it is importance to focus on what helps you.

After reflecting on fear of rejection, I came to the conclusion that it exists because I reject myself.

I think you’re doing a really good job of being your own biggest supporter. ❤️ You’re doing some great work on validating your needs. It’s pretty amazing to see. I need to do some more work on that myself.

I’ve been thinking more about this bond you mentioned. Needing your mother as a child. Something struck me as important about it. I wondered what happens to this bond as we grow older. What effect does trauma have on it? How do we heal from it?

Feel free to let me know if there’s anything I can do differently when communicating with you. I don’t want to take away from your experience. ❤️

It is lovely to see you explore and celebrate your autonomy!

Hi Bella

Congratulations on moving into your first home! You clearly have a lot of compassion for your relatives. I think that is a beautiful thing. ❤️

It might be for the best that this happened now, before you are moved in with your mom. I expect that your mom would allow your aunt to visit frequently. It could be quite stressful for you. While you are living in your own place, you get to decide what stress you allow into your home. Something to think about.

It isn’t your fault that your aunt is behaving in this way.

It sounds like your family is rather close. Has your aunt given her opinion which she seems to be upset that she wasn’t asked for yet?

I think it’s beautiful that you are reclaiming your love for your cultures music. You deserve this freedom! ❤️

You put so much into other people. You deserve that same care and attention too. ❤️

I can understand the concern about difficulties with people.

From my perspective, I feel like being able to overcome difficulties with people is important. There are very few people in life that don’t experience conflict in their relationships. It is definitely a hard thing to navigate with PTSD though.

It is not easy at all with everything you have been through. I would imagine that trust can be difficult? I know it is for me.

Hi Adalie

I’m sorry to hear that you’ve been ghosted after being intimate with someone you liked from school. It isn’t an easy thing. ❤️

Dating these days is really tough. It doesn’t sound like you did anything wrong. This is sadly a common occurrence for many people.

Do you find yourself noticing that he is online on social media and having these worries?

Do you have any thoughts about whether you would like to block him or send him a message? Or anything?

Hi Arie

I’m sorry to hear about the difficulties with your family. These things are not easy.

Your family sounds complicated.

I’m glad that the Easter thing went ok – or as well as can be expected. It sounded very awkward to me.

I find it odd that you are expected to go to things that you don’t really want to go to. Then specifically not invited to things that you show an interest in. It is a lot of mixed signals.

It sounds like the sister in law was being honest with you that it is hard for everyone to do things together because people don’t get along.

My family also took this route of doing separate things for special occasions.

It is difficult because whilst your sister in law might want to reconcile there is still conflict with your brother.

I’m sorry that you are blamed for all of this. Your family sounds very stressful to deal with.

It is kind of you to be open to improving the relationship with the sister in law.

In time, it might be easier for you if you emotionally distance yourself from your family. I know it is hard to stop caring because they are your family though.

I imagine these dramas happen over and over again across the years. It doesn’t sound like they are going to stop.

You are honest about your mistakes. But you are not the only one making mistakes and the way that you are treat isn’t fair.

One thing that helped me is understanding that you can only have a relationship with someone if both of you want it. You don’t need to waste your energy on people who aren’t interested. Save it for the people that care about you. ❤️

Hi Anita

Please forgive that I have had a couple of drinks tonight.

Thank you for your kindness! ❤️

I’m glad that you can see that I care, because I do. 😊

I’m sorry to hear that is the memory you have of your father. It is not a very pleasant memory. I don’t understand how people can be so callous to children, especially ones so young. Good riddance!

I feel like a lot of people feel like this and I wonder do we really have free will? Of sorts, maybe. I don’t know?

I’d love to hear more about your journey of discovery of identity and agency.

I understand what you mean about vulnerability allowing people to connect. I just feel like it is a double edged sword. It only works out when both people are open to it and sometimes people can find vulnerability off-putting.

I don’t mean anything to do with you, I just mean generally. It is something that I noticed.

I’m really just exploring motivation because a friend was talking about it and he suggested it might be a bad idea for me to get into it because I’m so busy with my son.

Of course, the quickest way to get me to do something is to tell me not to do it. LOL 😂

British people are um shy with compliments. You don’t have to be so complimentary. I do appreciate your intent and I do understand that it is a different culture. The Americans are very complimentary. ❤️

Hi Omyk

My thoughts are with you. Do you want to talk about it? ❤️

It is not easy having few people that you are close to. I moved a lot in life and I am similar to you in that way.

It sounds like your friend would miss you if you moved. Sometimes people don’t say directly how they feel and make vague hints about their preferences.

It makes sense to want to be near your brother one of the few people you are close with.

Please guide and protect Omyk and his loved ones safe on their journey. May they be free of dangers, enemies and mental anxieties. Help them to live freely with good bodies and healthy minds. Amen! 🙏

Hi Everyone

Lovely to see you around again Peter! ❤️

Funnily enough, I’ve been thinking about motivation recently too. I haven’t finished working on it yet. I’m still thinking. I don’t have much time to sit and think about things, so it might take me a while.

What even is a good relationship with emotions? 😂

I really like that quote from W H Auden. The Alan Watts quote had me thinking too.

Quite often when I’m afraid it is not because of the present, but the past. I prefer the present, but shadows of the past keep popping up. It is engraved in me deeply. I would prefer to be free of the past as opposed to the present. Although, I suppose what I have difficulty is when the two converge.

I’m largely motivated by necessity. Most of the decisions in my life have been circumstantial. It makes me wonder what my nature actually is.

Ooh now you’ve got me thinking. Little bit of chicken or the egg going on there with the mind being created by experiences. But I understand what is meant. It is a good point that the mind often creates it’s own problems. Sometimes we just need to get out of our own way.

Sometimes the same words can mean different things to different people.

Not fixing, I would think of as self-acceptance. Quite possibly the pinnacle of self-compassion?

It is interesting that people are similar and yet different.