Hi Anita

Good luck with the storm! I hope you get power soon. ❤️ 💡

Hi Tee

Sorry for the delay. I had to pick up his ashes and paw prints. I’m getting there now. I’ve been distracting myself with studying and my son is fighting sleep a lot at the moment, climbing out of his crib.

How are you doing? ❤️

It’s not really being loved or accepted though is it? It can easily cause one-sided relationships and leave you in a care taker role with people who are unhealthy.

My therapist used to say to me that as a child I had a tendency for magical thinking and self-blame. I tried to be perfect and prevent mistakes. But new “mistakes” were always found. There was no way to prevent the abuse. It was just who my mother was.

I do stand up for myself in the moment. It is just afterwards. I find it tiring to hash things out, especially if the person isn’t receptive. I do still try to do it though.

I try to keep conflict low in general because my health issues are stress related. After my dog dying, I’m going through a rough flare up. It is also not healthy to have conflict around a child. Not to mention my tolerance for additional stress is just lower as a parent because I’m already to some extent already stressed. Heck, with a child I barely have time to process my own feelings. Just when he’s asleep really.

I think it’s difficult when people have different needs. We all have our own ways of handling conflict and unique backgrounds. I think some people struggle when different needs don’t mix well together. What might make one person feel heard or safe might make another person feel bad.

I was definitely more co-dependent and reliant on the other person to help me to feel better in the past because I was not as good at self-soothing.

I guess with any conflict the issues people have are their issues. I just happen to be there. I don’t feel as threatened by it personally whereas I would take things a bit more personally in the past thinking that perhaps someone might be acting in a certain way because of how they felt about me.

Hmm well I have known people to change over time. But that only happens when you manage your boundaries. It’s a bit slow sometimes. You are right though, people only change as much as they want to. ❤️

As always, I appreciate your insights Tee. ❤️

Hi Trav

Thanks for sharing! I really liked what you wrote. I find it comforting. ❤️

Hi Anita

What if you said that because you felt that was what she wanted to do?

If someone doesn’t have those feelings they will not act on what someone says. They will just be calm or confused.

❤️

Hi Tommy

I am open to any kind of learning. Why? Mmm when I practice I do. But it is like a muscle and I don’t always practice regularly now that I have a child. I wouldn’t claim to be enlightened. I just had a good meditation teacher. 😊

I did learn to do some things I do in meditation outside of meditation though. ❤️

Please don’t worry. You are very much welcome here. ❤️

As a fellow honest person. I appreciate you. 😉

I’m sorry. My head is still not here. I just wanted everyone to feel included. ❤️

You had some good insights too Tommy.

Perhaps it is just me? I benefit from the posts James shares. I am curious and I might not understand immediately. I have faith that things fall into place in time.

Thinking about these things helped me to step back and manage the grief of losing my dog. ❤️

My dog, my feelings. My way. We don’t get to decide what happens. Better to stop pretending and accept what is.

I loved him. He was a good dog. I was lucky to have him whilst I had him. That has to be enough.

We are in such a hurry to feel better sometimes. But in a rush it is like a flood.

You are a good person Tommy and a dear friend. You care about people. There is nothing wrong with that. ❤️

*Buddha