Dear Anonymous,

This may sound harsh, but I write this with love and with honor and respect for you and your love and your pain. I know it feels scary to love again, but I think that is why it can feel so good to recognize the part we played in our own heartbreak. To know we aren’t just blown around by the winds of change. I can’t possibly presume to know what she was feeling, but I do know what she said and you know her actions. Were they the actions of someone who was head over heels? You feel the need to think she couldn’t possibly just not be that into you because you have everything to offer. But just like how you knew you loved her the moment you saw her, love isn’t so logical. It isn’t something you can reason yourself into. And what people look for in a mate is so nuanced. People want negative traits, too. Remember that. We’re more comfortable with what we know. If she isn’t used to someone who wears their heart on their sleeve, as much as she might want to, she may not ever get comfortable enough to let down her walls or let herself fall for you. Take it from someone who is this way. I need a certain amount of distance to really feel safe to be so open. It sounds to me like you might be the same way? Maybe you like the thought of unlocking someone. Maybe you’re a fixer. Maybe it allows you to fixate on something other than your own problems or future. Maybe you’re afraid of your potential. Or your potential to be at peace. But what do I know? You do have a lot to give, and I think in the future the best way to avoid this type of predicament is simple. Look at the signs. Don’t fall in love with hope. With the idea of you being the white knight that will save the princess. Maybe she doesn’t need saving. Or maybe you aren’t the one that can save her. Maybe she’s just not that into you, but kept you around cuz she wanted to be and did care for you and because YOU MADE HER FEEL GOOD. This doesn’t make her duplicitous or uncaring. It makes her human. You have so much love to give. You should wait for someone who can really give it back. With love.

Take it one day at a time. The waves will get smaller. Be good to yourself.