Daria,

I am really feel sorry for your sufferings. One thing I would like to explain you. Suppose you are driving a vehicle on the road and you encounter a small accident. What will you do? Will you stop driving the vehicle? No, You will take extra care next time while driving the vehicle. You will not stop driving. Can’t you see this as a small accident which needs a more attention! I know it is not that easy.
I would suggest you not to stop believing people. Not every person is same. You will definitly find someone which will take care of you and will help you to come out of this.
You have a healthy beautiful life. Enjoy it. Sex is just like a other biological process, please do not take it on your heart.
Have a great time ahead!

Amrish