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  • in reply to: Feeling Lost #367377

    Hi Anita,

    Yes, I do agree with you that habits are hard to break and that is where I feel lost. I understand my behavior but by the time I realize it, its late what I feel.

    Please do share how did you break a habit specially when you have a person living in your mind more than actually living with you



    in reply to: Feeling Lost #367324

    Hi Anita,

    Yes, definitely I want to break off the thought process of a person constantly living in my mind even when the person is not physically present along with me. As this very nature/behavior/feeling  of mine makes me do the same for most of the people I come across even it is on professional terms. I keep agreeing to all with the only one thought it is “Ok” if that is what makes them feel right or makes them feel happy.


    in reply to: Feeling Lost #367298

    Hi Anita,

    Yes, u are right as a child I did wonder

    where have I gone wrong or what is that

    I should do so that my mother is happy with

    me!!and honestly even today it is the same

    case I still think about whatever decision I

    make if my mother is with me will she approve

    or appreciate the decision or what will I

    answer /reason if she says she does not like

    it .

    The same with him I guess ,but yes there

    not been a single text or call where in

    he texts or says something that later

    When I think over hurts me !!
    but the moment I calm down with the

    thoughts i again go back to the same cycle

    of talking and liking him!!

    what are the ways I could stop getting repeatedly in the same cycle!!

    I understand that if I don’t change myself

    it’s troubling me!!!but all I learn to do is

    adjust along with the pain but unable to



    in reply to: Feeling Lost #367263

    Hi Anita,

    Yes,I never initiate calls or texts anything

    only with the one thing in mind that

    What if his wife sees it or what if any other

    of his family member comes across it.

    I feel what he means by trust here is that
    if I feel and want to go into another relationship

    I should tell him about it !!

    I do suffer from general anxiety and have

    extremely low self esteem .At times where I am

    am in guilt I end up closing my self down

    like avoid talking or replying his message

    ,this is when he feels that I am straying out

    of the relationship and repeatedly asks me

    if I am in a relationship with some one

    else .
    See I always felt him being devoted to his

    family as even after being in a relationship

    with me ,he went ahead along with his wife

    planning a second pregnancy..

    what do I like or love about him?is where i

    really don’t understand because I never feel that intense longing for him but yes I am happy

    when he is by my side and when he is not

    judging me!!





    in reply to: Feeling Lost #367233

    Hi Anita,

    Yes a long distance one presently,

    ie I don’t meet him often in person

    but I do remain in contact with him over

    calls or texts.I would say the frequency

    of this  would be a call once a week and

    if he is extremely busy it once in 15days

    or even a month. I never initiate a call

    or message from my end it is always from

    his end.We do meet up may be once

    for half a day or a day every six months.

    The statement I made in regard to not understanding what I feel with him is

    that if  you ask me what is that I get

    being with him or from this relationship

    is that I know understand that this

    particular relationship actually will

    never be a one that would last long as

    he has made it very clear that he

    would always choose his family over me

    but I am still in the relationship.He never

    has said that I mean a lot to him or I am

    his world ..but yes he would always say that

    i trust and love u a lot don’t break the trust

    I have in you..

    hope I was able to clarify what I meant

    to say…

    incase you still feel I am a bit unclear

    do let me know….



    in reply to: Feeling Lost #367201

    Hi Anita,

    I am not Okay with the relationship ,and this was also one of the reasons for me moving away as we worked in the same office.

    He was very clear right from the start of the relationship that he would never leave his family and if he had to choose between me and his family he would always choose his family only.

    I am always in guilt due to this relationship. There were many situations where in he always doubted me and has hurt me but I always end up going back to him.

    Many occasions I have decided that I should tell it to him that I want to end it because at the end of the day I feel too exhausted with these thoughts of where have I gone wrong in this relationship or what did I do today that he has not spoken to me or has not texted me..as its a long distance one presently

    Honestly I even don’t understand what this relationship gives me whether I feel wanted and loved to whom I mean the whole world or whether it is that me ,like I would not to be in a committed relationship.


    in reply to: Feeling Lost #367147

    Hi Anita,

    The emptiness I feel is unexplainable to say

    I am a divorcee ,I do not have children but in a relationship with a happily married man, who is ten years younger having two kids and who is extremely devoted to his parents and family.

    I was staying in the same house along with my mother but moved to a different location a year back.

    As a child I would say I almost did everything that my mother would ask me to do like she always wanted me to learn dance and despite me being a very shy person and disliking dance I used to attend the classes. She was never satisfied with my academic performance for which I used to put in extremely long hours of study though the performance never improved. I never selected my clothes to wear as she always felt I dress inappropriately so it was easier for me to just allow her select clothes for me. Honestly slowly I developed a habit of doing the opposite of what she asked me to do and anything she ask me to do I would react with a negative answer.

    Presently I would say I do not do anything for her approval but the only reason I felt I moved for work out of work was that she would be happy/proud of me as I am able to do something for myself on my own without depending on her.



    in reply to: Feeling Lost #367108

    Hi Anita,

    Yes, u did get it right .I have always wanted it from my mother among my parents. I wanted her to feel and show that she is happy/proud of me in whatever little I could achieve or my choices then as a child or in-fact even now. Even today a 40 year old me wants her to feel and show she is happy and satisfied with what I am or where I am .

    I feel that it is this behavior of mine that I started to feel that I need to go out of way or have to do things which will further result in people feeling/thinking good about me.

    You can ask/question me anything if you need to know something.



    in reply to: Loneliness #367002


    I too deal with the very same feelings ,right along since i was a kid always felt that i was an unwanted child or people never need me… this very feel makes me go out of the way in working or doing things for people just for that appreciation that i am important at some place..

    How would i deal with such a feeling or situation?

Viewing 9 posts - 1 through 9 (of 9 total)