Forum Replies Created
September 29, 2020 at 4:37 am #367377
Yes, I do agree with you that habits are hard to break and that is where I feel lost. I understand my behavior but by the time I realize it, its late what I feel.
Please do share how did you break a habit specially when you have a person living in your mind more than actually living with you
AmritaSeptember 27, 2020 at 8:58 pm #367324
Yes, definitely I want to break off the thought process of a person constantly living in my mind even when the person is not physically present along with me. As this very nature/behavior/feeling of mine makes me do the same for most of the people I come across even it is on professional terms. I keep agreeing to all with the only one thought it is “Ok” if that is what makes them feel right or makes them feel happy.
AmritaSeptember 27, 2020 at 6:45 am #367298
Yes, u are right as a child I did wonder
where have I gone wrong or what is that
I should do so that my mother is happy with
me!!and honestly even today it is the same
case I still think about whatever decision I
make if my mother is with me will she approve
or appreciate the decision or what will I
answer /reason if she says she does not like
The same with him I guess ,but yes there
not been a single text or call where in
he texts or says something that later
When I think over hurts me !!
but the moment I calm down with the
thoughts i again go back to the same cycle
of talking and liking him!!
what are the ways I could stop getting repeatedly in the same cycle!!
I understand that if I don’t change myself
it’s troubling me!!!but all I learn to do is
adjust along with the pain but unable to
AmritaSeptember 26, 2020 at 2:11 am #367263
Yes,I never initiate calls or texts anything
only with the one thing in mind that
What if his wife sees it or what if any other
of his family member comes across it.
I feel what he means by trust here is that
if I feel and want to go into another relationship
I should tell him about it !!
I do suffer from general anxiety and have
extremely low self esteem .At times where I am
am in guilt I end up closing my self down
like avoid talking or replying his message
,this is when he feels that I am straying out
of the relationship and repeatedly asks me
if I am in a relationship with some one
See I always felt him being devoted to his
family as even after being in a relationship
with me ,he went ahead along with his wife
planning a second pregnancy..
what do I like or love about him?is where i
really don’t understand because I never feel that intense longing for him but yes I am happy
when he is by my side and when he is not
AmritaSeptember 25, 2020 at 8:34 am #367233
Yes a long distance one presently,
ie I don’t meet him often in person
but I do remain in contact with him over
calls or texts.I would say the frequency
of this would be a call once a week and
if he is extremely busy it once in 15days
or even a month. I never initiate a call
or message from my end it is always from
his end.We do meet up may be once
for half a day or a day every six months.
The statement I made in regard to not understanding what I feel with him is
that if you ask me what is that I get
being with him or from this relationship
is that I know understand that this
particular relationship actually will
never be a one that would last long as
he has made it very clear that he
would always choose his family over me
but I am still in the relationship.He never
has said that I mean a lot to him or I am
his world ..but yes he would always say that
i trust and love u a lot don’t break the trust
I have in you..
hope I was able to clarify what I meant
incase you still feel I am a bit unclear
do let me know….
AmritaSeptember 24, 2020 at 10:54 pm #367201
I am not Okay with the relationship ,and this was also one of the reasons for me moving away as we worked in the same office.
He was very clear right from the start of the relationship that he would never leave his family and if he had to choose between me and his family he would always choose his family only.
I am always in guilt due to this relationship. There were many situations where in he always doubted me and has hurt me but I always end up going back to him.
Many occasions I have decided that I should tell it to him that I want to end it because at the end of the day I feel too exhausted with these thoughts of where have I gone wrong in this relationship or what did I do today that he has not spoken to me or has not texted me..as its a long distance one presently
Honestly I even don’t understand what this relationship gives me whether I feel wanted and loved to whom I mean the whole world or whether it is that me ,like I would not to be in a committed relationship.
AmritaSeptember 23, 2020 at 10:14 pm #367147
The emptiness I feel is unexplainable to say
I am a divorcee ,I do not have children but in a relationship with a happily married man, who is ten years younger having two kids and who is extremely devoted to his parents and family.
I was staying in the same house along with my mother but moved to a different location a year back.
As a child I would say I almost did everything that my mother would ask me to do like she always wanted me to learn dance and despite me being a very shy person and disliking dance I used to attend the classes. She was never satisfied with my academic performance for which I used to put in extremely long hours of study though the performance never improved. I never selected my clothes to wear as she always felt I dress inappropriately so it was easier for me to just allow her select clothes for me. Honestly slowly I developed a habit of doing the opposite of what she asked me to do and anything she ask me to do I would react with a negative answer.
Presently I would say I do not do anything for her approval but the only reason I felt I moved for work out of work was that she would be happy/proud of me as I am able to do something for myself on my own without depending on her.
AmritaSeptember 23, 2020 at 4:00 am #367108
Yes, u did get it right .I have always wanted it from my mother among my parents. I wanted her to feel and show that she is happy/proud of me in whatever little I could achieve or my choices then as a child or in-fact even now. Even today a 40 year old me wants her to feel and show she is happy and satisfied with what I am or where I am .
I feel that it is this behavior of mine that I started to feel that I need to go out of way or have to do things which will further result in people feeling/thinking good about me.
You can ask/question me anything if you need to know something.
AmritaSeptember 21, 2020 at 6:37 am #367002
I too deal with the very same feelings ,right along since i was a kid always felt that i was an unwanted child or people never need me… this very feel makes me go out of the way in working or doing things for people just for that appreciation that i am important at some place..
How would i deal with such a feeling or situation?