Hello everyone, I hope everyone is doing well during these weird times. I have been reading the blog for some days now because I recently lost feelings “suddenly” for the person I thought I’d marry.
Anita, reading your advice to others has been so helpful! I wanted to take a moment to thank you for all of your help.
I will share a bit of my story and would welcome any input/advice.

I moved in with an acquaintance a year ago, a male friend. The purpose was to save money on rent and he would help me with building my own van to travel in. I didn’t know this person much but they were kind and seemed safe to be around.

Fast forward a couple months in after moving in and after becoming better friends, he asked me on a date. We started dating and became “official ” shortly after. All of my friends told me to slow down, to take it slow, that living together and dating so soon would backfire. But I didn’t listen because this man was everything I ever wanted (or so I thought). We had so many of the same dreams and the same morals in common. We both loved dogs. It was so perfect.
I sort of forgot about myself and my own reason for moving there, my own purpose, my own identity.
We went from roommates to a very serious couple within 6 months, by month 9 I was a housewife with a promise ring and we added a second dog to the family.

Suddenly, or that’s how it seemed, I started losing interest sexually, to the point that u thought something was wrong with me. We struggled with our sex life for a while, he was extremely patient and understanding the whole time. I just didn’t get why I wouldn’t get turned on.

The issues remain. I had never strayed from a relationship before but started working remotely at a new company and had a coworker partner to check in with daily. I noticed myself becoming attracted to him and would fantasize about him. Even though I love my boyfriend. Eventually my coworker and I ended up having a brief sexting relationship. It happened twice. I hated and hate myself for it right now. I feel disgusted of myself for being capable of something like that. Why? How? My boyfriend deserves better. Now I have completely withdrawn emotionally and even more so sexually. For the last 6 weeks I have felt nothing for my boyfriend, I can’t even bring myself to say I love you. I don’t miss him, I don’t want to touch him, I want to be alone all the time now.
I took some time to myself and asked for space, to clear my head. I started working out, I stayed with my family for a week, went to see a friend for another week. And throughout everything I never missed him. When I came back I felt like a totally different person.

how can this happen? We just made a year in March. Three months ago I saw him as my future husband, the father of my kids. Or so I thought I did. We would have been so good together. He loves every part of me, every dark corner. That’s rare. How could I stray away so far.