Dear Nikki,

Stop judging the past, because it WAS! Let the bygones, be bygones!

And the person that should mean the world to you is YOU, even family comes after you! For the simple reason being, if you’re not happy, you won’t be able to make family or people around you happy.

You weren’t bad; situations were. You would have played an already lost game, so stop repenting.

You don’t need to be feeling guilty.

We often feel obligated to the person who supported us through our low phase of life. Be grateful, thankful, if a situation comes where you can do something for this person, be helpful but with boundaries well-drawn. But there is no need to give up your life for this. This is more about being human. You will get your share of chance to help someone else; and once you’ve have it, make the most out of this opportunity, but don’t lament for something which is past.

He has started moving; whether it good or not for him; that shouldn’t be your concern. It would be better for you to stop thinking about him.

Nothing is wrong with you; it were the situations that were wrong. Please don’t be harsh on yourself. Count, Recall and put down on paper the good things you have done till now, even the smallest. You will see that you’re a worthy person. Don’t judge yourself based on one relation only, it’s not fair. You have your whole life ahead to do all the good things you would want to.

Cheers!

Hi Lilbuddha,

What you wrote is something I needed to read at this moment. Although, I’m in the phase of ‘moving on’; today specifically, as it is a Saturday I was down with low moments, and I have noted it is happening quite often on Saturdays….Mon to Fri there isn’t much time to ponder over past as I see and meet lot of people in office. Just when Saturday hits…Oh My God…It’s just so difficult; I started the morning very well, all pepped up, did many stuffs, then I started missing my ex. She is lesbian and I don’t share the same feelings; which is why I’m breaking this relationship; also it started because I was low with my previous relation. As my ex gave me all the emotional support I needed, I had become dependent on her and 15 days ago I was saying to my psychologist ‘I don’t have the courage to leave her’ . She asked why and I said ‘Because she has been there for me and I just don’t know how to take off this base of support suddenly and stand on my own. What if I fall?’. I was so weak. God!

Today after more than 15 days of no contact; I was (am) missing her badly. Everything that we shared together in 2 years. All the happy and togetherness moments we had. It’s just so difficult to forget and not think about it.

I think I need to be super occupied to make myself less vulnerable. It’s again a very delicate phase; where I can fall again, so I’m being very careful to what I speak and whom and how much I speak in office; as I won’t realize when someone notices my down phase and tries to take advantage of it, (This is how my ex had hit on me; although she was dating many other girls from office). I don’t wanna fall for any kind of support anymore and be on my own. Somewhere I’m strong; but the times I’m emotional, it leaves a great impact on my strong mind ! Phew!

So I have decided to go for a movie tomorrow. I gotta move out of the bed and do something different!

My heart says so much….’I miss her…:-( I don’t want to hold this emotion inside for it to suddenly pop up if and when she comes to see me. I wanna feel it and let it go. For me to be strong; strong enough to tell her, I appreciate what we had, but it’s not going to work. (Inside I would be saying…I love you too..hehehehe). God! So difficult to breakup!

Think I wrote a lot…:-)
Thanks Lilbuddha!
Cheers!

Hi Amy,

My traits – low self-confidence, hence low self-esteem, hence low self-respect, I would believe and trust anyone very easily, vulnerable, and would fall for the person easily. Then I would love myself, seeing that the other person loves me; else I won’t value my own self enough.This was second half of my relationship life.

First part of my relationship life – My feelings were somewhat similar to yours; just that with me; I used to be completely in love with myself > then a guy would fall in love > I would take all the positives from him > forget about myself, leave aside loving me (I started loving the other person more than anything in this world, that’s where I went blind) And here we go, I lost myself completely and my personal life started falling apart without me being able to realize it. So, lesson was ‘No one should take a priority on your own-self; for your own good’.

When you realize the problem, in your case (you’re not able to love yourself); that’s the base of the solution. I think you’re with low self-esteem. I followed some videos to boost my self-esteem, to have self-respect and it’s helping me slowly to regain myself. Try it out. May be that’s your pain point too.

Moreover, end of one relationship is not the end of the world. Life goes on. We got to hold our head high and face the challenges of ife. Life is not easy after all. Accept it or escape it!

I’m 28; had a divorce (6 yrs of relation) and a breakup (2 yrs relation). It would have been better to have given some time out of all these years to my own betterment. Better late than never!

Wake up, pull up your socks and get going!

You rock Amy! You’re a wonderful person. Once I read somewhere ‘Figure out what you want and know how to ask for it’.

Hope it helps!
Please excuse me if I was tough with my words..

Stay blessed!

Hi Anne,

My heart reaches out to you as I read this post. Condolence for your dad’s demise. I can understand that it’s pretty tough to overcome the loss of a family member.

One thing I know and can think of that can help you overcome this situation is ‘Have a goal, work towards it. Put down on paper what steps would you require to achieve it. Be only very very positive. Think that ‘YOU CAN DO IT’.

I understand that nothing can replace the loss you have had; but a goal can help you divert your mind. Also it can help you come out of the financial situation as well.

I just want to say…’Be strong; because you can and you will do it’. You can overcome any kind of situation. And I’m sure one day you’ll look back and be proud of yourself.

All the Best! My well wishes to you!