I’m still feeling so regretful on not giving this relationship and the new city a longer chance. I rushed it hoping that I would figure it out quickly before I messed up more of my twenties. I was so focused on what I was losing other than what I would gain from the experience. I just want a time machine to go back! And it is a horrible feeling to live with. I love this guy, I could have made it work. I worked so hard to move there and then so quickly everything happened for me to move back. Now, I feel like I’m just going to regret it all for the rest of my life.

I just wish I could go back. I don’t know if I’m in denial and worried that I’ll never find a guy again that makes me feel amazing and adventurous. I don’t want to live where I am right now even though my family and friends are here.

The guy right now is trying to get over me it feels like. He visited me a month ago and it was great! But now I feel like he needs space and we are still in this time where either of us knows what to do.

I just don’t know if I should put down more roots here or just jump and make the leap back to the new city.

Hi Eliana,

It’s getting better. I think it mostly comes from me being so eager to figure out everything out in my life quickly. I have a lot of things that aren’t concrete. Yes, I want to travel. Yes, I want to try all these new things. But I need my friends and family right now and that’s more important than the town you live in. I think there will be a time when life naturally takes me to a new place or it will just feel so right that it makes sense. Right now, I’m just trying to create a life so different and exciting probably because I want to feel like I’m living it. When I continue living in the same place and doing the same kinds of things I get bored and frustrated. But I’ll still get into a routine in a new town and become bored with it too. Right now I’m planning a solo travel trip! I have some vacation days and want to go somewhere. It is so hard to work with everyone else’s work schedule and waiting to book the flight makes me anxious that its never going to happen! So I’ve decided that I’ll probably just have to go on my own and keep following whatever interests me.

Thanks for checking in.

This is such a sticky situation. I get why he moved. Young, not quite sure what to do and it’s an amazing city. But there is such a bad stigma on girls moving for boys, especially at the age we are at. I have always felt like I’ve had to gain his respect and keep him intrigued. I don’t want to spend the rest of my life tiptoeing around him hoping that he still wants me after a few years. I don’t know if I’m over analysing. But I also didn’t want him to date me for 7 years and then marry me because I have always been there and this seems right.

He still might move to me in a few months. But still, I’m not sure. Nothing is definite. He isn’t giving me a straight answer and I’m afraid to even bring it up. I feel like I almost have to play it cool and act like I don’t really care to make him interested. Idk if its the situation or if it’s the way boys minds work. They want to earn something and work hard for it. If I am waiting here, telling him every day that I want him to move here and miss him so much, I think he is the type of boy that would run away from that.

He still doesn’t know how much I’m worth to him and that makes me feel unappreciated and disrespected. I want someone that is making plans and telling me clearly what they want and how they are going to make it happen. I still feel like an option to him. But I have to be fair because moving for someone is a big deal. And it kind of makes you feel like crap! lol

Thank you, Anita. Your advice really helps. I know that we need to talk about BIG things. Like marriage and a time frame. I don’t think he’ll be ready to make a real plan but he might be ready to just talk about it. I guess I still go back and forth with what I want. If he lived in the same place that I did there wouldn’t be all this pressure to figure it out so soon. I could see him as my husband but I also would want him to change some things. I know I’m not going to find the perfect prince charming and I don’t want that anymore. . . I guess it’s just not a good situation because I have to try and be sure about things and so does he and we aren’t quite ready to decide all that yet. But yes, its good that I have time to figure it out and I can talk to him and be honest about what I want in the future and what he says will determine a lot.