I was ok with my Aspergers partner. But after 9 years I realized that all the things t I was missing, I Deserved. And it was Not ok. I had poor self worth and he was nice to me. As in not mean. But he was unhealthy to me. And I wish I had 9 years back sometimes, but I learned a lot about myself. It was hard.   I felt like the bad guy and he was perfect. The problem is he considers himself very perfect and superior and so while I was having such poor self worth, he believed me when I spoke  badly about myself, agreed.

But I was never understood, never supported, never given things that I convinced myself I didn’t need.

But I needed them. Everyone does.  He only wanted me to take care of him. Not the other way around. That is another trait. That they want to be “taken care of”  in a relationship. But they make it where we don’t have anything left to give ourselves and they can’t take advantage of people like that. By people I mean partners.

All the books say the facts. How hard it is and try to inform you on how to deal

But you don’t know, even by writing a book. Even the doctor who wrote a book on Aspergers relationships  because she was in one.

Accept it they all say. But giving love care compassion understanding respect and more to your partner while you got nothing in return emotionally leaves you very resentful empty and in a big way you are being leached from.

I myself didn’t know for 4 years that he even had Aspergers. I thought he just didn’t like me. 5 years later I am leaving. I resent him. I feel that he took advantage of me. I wasnt loved. He says he did but never  showed  it. He appears fine to others. Only I have the right viewpoint to really know how different he is.

So I loved him and I didn’t really love myself and he didn’t show me any love either. After 9 years of that, my heart now just seems dead.  *choking back tears as I put that into words.

He loved himself enough for the both of us.

Partners of individuals with Aspergers.. if you are loving you need that in return. You might not realize how much you deserve and you may think it’s all you you not him.

My guy wouldn’t think badly of himself enough to believe me when I told him he was doing something wrong. everything he Does is perfect and if you don’t do something the same way he does you are doing it wrong.

You aren’t nagging him because you don’t have good reason. It’s not you it’s him and he will not believe that its  the things that he hasn’ t done that’s wrong.  done are wrongly  doesn’t do he just know that they exist but you need them and deserve them and can’t love somebody without getting it back.  it’s a give and take you can’t give it all away you’ll be left with nothing