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Stine H.Participant
Sorry for late reply. My granfathee just died the other day. So things were a little rough.
Brav3: I think you’re right. But how do I break this negative circle? I was used to being comfortable with single life but I am not now. I was very happy focusing on myself and ect. But it’s a few years ago now. I wish I knew just how to stop it. I’m trying some hypnosis to boost my confidence, and meditation. But other than that I don’t know how to stop thinking I’m unlovable.
Growingthrulife: I meet them all sort of places. Either online or through friends.
Other than that, what’s important to me is to feel good and be happy. To get more confidence is a big goal of mine.Stine H.ParticipantHi Anita
I tend to lash out for myself. I always keep my emotions in 110% check when I’m with people. I try my best to not become overly emotional or let my borderline inflict any damage. It happens a lot after I get disappointed. I do, of course, make sure I’m absolutely honest with them. I do let them know that I have a diagnosis but that I’m also much more than that. I have worked a lot and still work a lot on it, I’m in therapy, I’ve worked on it since I was 16. I’ve learned a lot from past mistakes but over this long time, I’ve always kept my emotions in check around the guys I date.. so I don’t know what it is.. it has happened that I get emotional (happened with the last one) but he was very understanding and supportive when something unexpected happened and I got very emotional.
But even if that was it.. then can someone who has a mental illness never find love?
Stine H.ParticipantThanks to both of you for the answers.
Teddy:
Thanks for the answer! I can assure you I’ve thought it through many times. They’re not necessarily jerks those I’ve been dating, but they have just never felt the same way. I have tried asking if they would always be honest with me, and tell me if there was something I did wrong ect. But never had anyone say anything, they said I’m a great person, they just don’t feel the same way – or have changed their mind. One or two have said it’s been because of my weight – I’m not super big, but I’m a bit curvy. But I can’t change that. It’s how I am and I’m already working out and eating healthily so I’m not gonna try change that for someone. I feel fairly confident in my own skin.
Last time it happened I did ask more firmly if there was anything wrong I did, because I wanted to know, but still got the same answer – you’re a great person. You’ll find someone someday.
But it can’t carry on like that can it? If I’m a great person then why do I never find someone ? I’ve never had someone and I deeply wish to get that experience.
I’ll try look for red flags, so far I can’t see any as they all seem like good people but they just tend to suddenly change their mind or not feel the same in general. I don’t really see any red flags in their behaviour as such.. which is why I feel like there must be some sort of bad luck or aura about me that makes me unsuited for being a person people want to be with?
Stine H.ParticipantHi Maureen,
Okay, now I understand. Must have been confused because it was really late. I’m sorry I was confused, but I get it now. I’ll google that pause button therapy, it sounds interesting. I will definitely look into it on google. Would be nice if it works for me too. Thanks so much for the suggestion!
Stine H.ParticipantFirst of, thanks to the two of you for replying to my post, I really appreciate it!
Maureen: I’m not entirely sure I understand what you meant? I’m sorry, if I misunderstand t, English is not my first language. But do you mean I need to come to a self acceptance??
Mark: I’m glad you understand, I appreciate your kind words. I’m gonna try to hang in there, and I hope there’s love for me in the future. It gets hard just having to hang in there, whilst for some people – like many of my friends – finding love just comes easy to them.
I am very glad to know, however, that I’m not alone with this feeling. I also know that my friends and family love me – without doubt – but I just long for that person who love me in a special way. A relationship that goes a little deeper. As many people, I think, at some point in their life long for. And it’s good to know what I sorta need to do about it.
Thanks again! Xx
Stine H.ParticipantI have borderline personality disorder – which is very different from person to person. Mine derives in the fact that I at times can’t control my emotions and becomes very easily suicidal. On top of that I tend to suffer from occassional anxiety and black outs. unfortunately. Thank you very much for the answer.
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