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Stine H.

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Viewing 6 posts - 1 through 6 (of 6 total)
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  • in reply to: Am I unlovable? #128255
    Stine H.
    Participant

    Sorry for late reply. My granfathee just died the other day. So things were a little rough.

    Brav3: I think you’re right. But how do I break this negative circle? I was used to being comfortable with single life but I am not now. I was very happy focusing on myself and ect. But it’s a few years ago now. I wish I knew just how to stop it. I’m trying some hypnosis to boost my confidence, and meditation. But other than that I don’t know how to stop thinking I’m unlovable.

    Growingthrulife: I meet them all sort of places. Either online or through friends.
    Other than that, what’s important to me is to feel good and be happy. To get more confidence is a big goal of mine.

    in reply to: Am I unlovable? #127919
    Stine H.
    Participant

    Hi Anita

    I tend to lash out for myself. I always keep my emotions in 110% check when I’m with people. I try my best to not become overly emotional or let my borderline inflict any damage. It happens a lot after I get disappointed. I do, of course, make sure I’m absolutely honest with them. I do let them know that I have a diagnosis but that I’m also much more than that. I have worked a lot and still work a lot on it, I’m in therapy, I’ve worked on it since I was 16. I’ve learned a lot from past mistakes but over this long time, I’ve always kept my emotions in check around the guys I date.. so I don’t know what it is.. it has happened that I get emotional (happened with the last one) but he was very understanding and supportive when something unexpected happened and I got very emotional.

    But even if that was it.. then can someone who has a mental illness never find love?

    in reply to: Am I unlovable? #127843
    Stine H.
    Participant

    Thanks to both of you for the answers.

    Teddy:

    Thanks for the answer! I can assure you I’ve thought it through many times. They’re not necessarily jerks those I’ve been dating, but they have just never felt the same way. I have tried asking if they would always be honest with me, and tell me if there was something I did wrong ect. But never had anyone say anything, they said I’m a great person, they just don’t feel the same way – or have changed their mind. One or two have said it’s been because of my weight – I’m not super big, but I’m a bit curvy. But I can’t change that. It’s how I am and I’m already working out and eating healthily so I’m not gonna try change that for someone. I feel fairly confident in my own skin.

    Last time it happened I did ask more firmly if there was anything wrong I did, because I wanted to know, but still got the same answer – you’re a great person. You’ll find someone someday.

    But it can’t carry on like that can it? If I’m a great person then why do I never find someone ? I’ve never had someone and I deeply wish to get that experience.

    I’ll try look for red flags, so far I can’t see any as they all seem like good people but they just tend to suddenly change their mind or not feel the same in general. I don’t really see any red flags in their behaviour as such.. which is why I feel like there must be some sort of bad luck or aura about me that makes me unsuited for being a person people want to be with?

    in reply to: Am I unlovable? #127827
    Stine H.
    Participant

    Hi Maureen,

    Okay, now I understand. Must have been confused because it was really late. I’m sorry I was confused, but I get it now. I’ll google that pause button therapy, it sounds interesting. I will definitely look into it on google. Would be nice if it works for me too. Thanks so much for the suggestion!

    in reply to: Am I unlovable? #127815
    Stine H.
    Participant

    First of, thanks to the two of you for replying to my post, I really appreciate it!

    Maureen: I’m not entirely sure I understand what you meant? I’m sorry, if I misunderstand t, English is not my first language. But do you mean I need to come to a self acceptance??

    Mark: I’m glad you understand, I appreciate your kind words. I’m gonna try to hang in there, and I hope there’s love for me in the future. It gets hard just having to hang in there, whilst for some people – like many of my friends – finding love just comes easy to them.

    I am very glad to know, however, that I’m not alone with this feeling. I also know that my friends and family love me – without doubt – but I just long for that person who love me in a special way. A relationship that goes a little deeper. As many people, I think, at some point in their life long for. And it’s good to know what I sorta need to do about it.

    Thanks again! Xx

    in reply to: Help, Bad "luck" follows my love life. #125582
    Stine H.
    Participant

    I have borderline personality disorder – which is very different from person to person. Mine derives in the fact that I at times can’t control my emotions and becomes very easily suicidal. On top of that I tend to suffer from occassional anxiety and black outs. unfortunately. Thank you very much for the answer.

Viewing 6 posts - 1 through 6 (of 6 total)