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<p style=”text-align: left;”>Hi Anita,</p>
I think the reason why I feel little scared is I feel really happy after a long long time and before this relationship, I really thought I was not capable of being in a loving relationship. I was used to shutting my emotions out that before this relationship i never really cared for another guy. I remember having breakups and never feeling bad about it. With my husband, I started realising what a functional relationship actually meant. He made me understand empathy and how to express myself.
With my mother, I started to realise how much caring for father must have affected her. I really wanted to support her emotionally so I started thinking of her more like as a friend. Again, I have to say that once I started relationship with my husband all these changes start to happen around the same time. In a way, he really helped me deal with my situation.
Maybe, I just need to believe and be happy without worrying about what might or might not happen. Carpe Diem right?
I have a great relationship with my mother. We both felt responsible for taking care of father. I tried to be there for her when he passed away and used to take her out on dinner and movies so that she can feel good. I still call her regularly to check up on her as I live in different city.
She was the one who made everything easy for me handle and never let me feel alone or stressed about father’s condition. I was able to focus on my studies and social life as she stood behind me.
I just saw your post and all I could think about why are you not removing yourself from such toxic people? There is no need to play game. You should get away from such people before you completely lose faith from relationships. No one deserves less than love. You must have had good times, but If he is already considering talking to other person and not thinking how it would affect you when you will find out then it means that he is not on the same page as you are in the relationship. This pandemic has already left us feeling uncertain and scared for future. You should keep your healthy and mentally strong. That cannot be done with him on your side. Take your time to give a final thought. My suggestion would be to leave and be happy. Do it for yourself.
Thank you so much for your insight.
You are right. I ask him a lot whether he still loves me like when we were in a relationship. I will take your advise and stop asking him so much about this. I am pretty sure I will feel good myself. I don’t think he has noticed that I ask him a lot but I will tell him that he won’t be hearing much on this from my side.
To answer your question about childhood- Yes. I did not get much time with my father as he was unwell most of my teenage years. He passed away shortly before I could finish my grad school. I used to think it didn’t affect me much as I didn’t have any father daughter relationship with him. Do you think this is the reason why I am always looking for my husband’s affection?
I would like to prioritize myself and make him sometimes comes close to me and not vice versa. Not like playing any game but I would like it if he initiates it.
Thanks for taking out your time.