Hi Annie

Thanks for your advice 🙂 it means a lot, especially as I don’t have anyone I can talk to about my problem. All I want is for both of us to be happy. It is just really hard because I do think he will commit suicide or at least hurt himself and that is not something I want at all I don’t want him to hurt because I still do care about him. We have had fights before and I see him intentionally hurt him self because I say I’m going to leave e.g punching things, smashing his head on the wall or through glass frames. So I stay because it seems easier than leaving. It is just really hard because now I don’t know if I really do want to leave or not. Sometimes I do but then when I think about leaving and how hard it is going to be to start a new life I don’t want to leave. I don’t know if my feelings will go back to how they where in the beginning, he always says he will change but I cant wait around for him to ‘change’ any longer. I also don’t want him to change himself, I believe if your meant to be together you shouldn’t have to change who you are. I don’t know why this is so hard.. I really cant take it anymore.

Your right I need to re-discover myself, I am just really unsure of how to do that. That is part of the reason why I decided to go on this trip I am really hoping it is going to help me decide what I want from my life and who I am. If not I don’t know what I’m going to do to find who I am. I do feel like I’ve lost myself in this relationship. It so hard somedays I just want to sit and feel nothing.