Hi – thank you for explaining.  I agree that college finals are not a good time to add more stress.  This summer, when you are both less stressed would be a lovely time to share.  I disagree that sharing our vulnerabilities and fears makes us appear insecure.  In working with my therapist and my partner of 15 years (who also goes to a therapist on his own and we go together), I’ve found that communicating what I need as well as what my fears are with my partner when done in a healthy productive way allows us to grow closer.  My therapist helps me craft what I’ll say so it is transparent, not needy, and lets my partner know how they can help me move forward.  Recently I felt insecure about something he had posted on his blog and I shared that I was feeling excluded from his blog and that I would love to be included in some way.  It was SCARY as hell to tell him this but we have both agreed that we want more intimacy and connection in our relationship.  I reminded him that I was coming from this place to share my needs.  I was so afraid he would see me as insecure but instead, he appreciated hearing what I was feeling and did include me in his next post – he was caring and lovely which only made me love him MORE.

I wish you well in your relationship and hope that you can feel the feels, honor what you are experiencing and then let go to move forward 🙂

Cheers, Jalene