I should clarify. She has not personally spoken to me in MONTHS. Most of it is now stuff she loudly proclaims to other people and (apparently) “vaguebooking” on facebook. She WAS verbally and emotionally abusing me to my face. I did stand up to her and call her out on certain actions, but it really only made her aggression towards me worse. My husband has stood up to her numerous times on my behalf, which is why she no longer speaks to me at all. It’s more the knowledge that it’s going on that bothers me. I know she blames me for everything because any time someone comes over (which is actually pretty rare now), she makes a point to say the stuff where I can hear it (and she gets a bit louder too).

When I said no one calls her out on her behavior, I was referring to past issues that she still blames on everyone else. Everything is always someone else’s fault. Even things she can’t really blame on other people. I am getting the brunt of it now because I am here, but if I wasn’t – it would be someone else’s fault. I should have been more clear on that. Honestly, if he had not stood up for me at all, I would have taken the kids and left a while ago.

The thing with my husband showing me her facebook post was that he legitimately had no idea what it was. She was vaguebooking about karma and he asked me what on earth was she going about. The timestamp confirmed that is was around when I took my son upstairs with me. (Note: Not to keep them away from her, but my son was hurt and after several minutes of trying to calm him down, I decided to take him up with me.) I only mentioned he showed it to me because I was upset and called my mom later and she asked why was I even on her facebook. It was more to clarify that I am proactively making sure my run ins (in person or virtual) are limited.

Him being friendly to her is just his nature. He is nice to pretty much everyone. He will not go out of his way to spend time with her, but, especially since we are in the midst of holidays, he will tell her we are not going to be here around certain days. It really bugs me because she reads into it so weirdly. It’s more like a cliched teenager-mean girl thing. She doesn’t read it as him doing a general roommate courtesy (a courtesy she will NOT extend to us), but as an act of aggression towards me. (When she feels she is “winning”, she does a lot more passive aggressive things.)

I am definitely going to think about what you said on leaving. I just really do not want to leave my kids with her. Once we move, I definitely want to try to get them (especially my daughter, who is 10 and more aware of the… not normal… things going on) into therapy to help us all move past this.

I was really hoping for ways to cope with what is happening especially since the end is near.