Forum Replies Created
August 4, 2014 at 8:33 pm #62639rebeccaParticipant
I hear you. I understand.
I, too, struggle with hesitation, second-guessing, fear, and anxiety over decisions, words, and actions.. It’s a daily struggle that I partake with myself and my mind. When lunch time rolls around, I find myself in a constant debate- “I want this.. but that is healthier..” and when it comes to simple conversation- “Wait no, I shouldn’t say that.. they may take it the wrong way.. Oh, say this! Wait no, they may not think it’s funny..”
Anxiety builds until I no longer feel anything, and I stand/sit there no longer caring which choice I make. I’m so overwhelmed, I just skip lunch altogether, or I sit there silently without speaking.
And then I reflect on this fear and I realize that I am in control. I allow this fear to dictate my thoughts, and my thoughts then dictate my actions. There is no magical way to free yourself from this hesitation and anxiousness other than to notice the fear, accept the fear, then overcome the fear.
Remember that fear is the result of anxiety of future events/occurrences. Stop trying to predict the future. Stop trying to analyze. Be in the present, focus on the present, live the present moment. That is what helps me each and every day- reminding myself that my choices are not permanent, not life-threatening. They are simply part of the current of the flow of life.July 9, 2014 at 4:15 pm #60494rebeccaParticipant
I can relate. I am currently in college and just transferred back to my home-town college to finish out my studies (didn’t like the other college I was attending). I am back living at home with my father (parents are divorced) who is very ‘my way or the highway’ and extremely sensitive. When I tell him I am going have dinner with my mother, he gets really offended and lashes out at me. When I sleep in late (Im a college student, that’s what we do) he gets upset because I’ve “wasted my day”.
The best thing to do is to have a one-on-one, heart-to-heart conversation with your mother. Tell her how you feel, but also understand that you are still her child, and you still live with her in her home.. Respect your “roommates” and know your mom will ALWAYS treat you like a kid, cause you are her kid.
If you can’t talk to her and convince her to back off you a little, then go find a roommate and move out. That’s what I’m about to do next month! But good luck, hope it goes well!